Time for a Newsdump: Everything NOT Twilight related aka Kellan shows us his Calvins!

Yo, it's about that time to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme. I'm gonna get mine so get yours, I wanna see sweat comin' out ya pores!

Dear LTT-ers

I was just lamenting (yes it was quite sorrowful) on Twitter that there was simply NO news about Twilight out right now and that makes things awfully boring… but then I started researching and there’s TONS of non-Twilight specific news that our favorite friends are in… so let’s get to it!

  • The trailer for “The Runaways” comes out and I can’t help but think two things-  ONE: they look like little girls playing dress up and TWO: I hope Dakota gets to punch someone


Che-Che-Che-Cherry BOMB!!!

Wait, this isn't the Maxim cover shoot!

  • This is the prom dress you see on the rack at Goodwill and think, dude that would be perfect for my prom scene in “Can’t Buy Me Love” Halloween Costume (just right for doing the African Anteater dance in!)

Follow the cut for more news, less catfish, more abage for the cabbage and one special tatt00
Continue…

Add Comments


The critics weigh in: Did New Moon suck or not?

*Spoilers all throughout, again. And seriously if you’re reading LTT but haven’t seen the movie yet you better have a GOOD reason. Swine Flu? Rob knocked on your door and said he’d be with you but only if you promised never to see one of his films? So if you haven’t seen the movie, best you skip on by. If you have, pull up your pencil & notepad, it’s time for a major New Moon-losophy:

EdwardNewMoon

I'm about to dissappear so that Chris Hansen can keep his career busy for the next few months

Dear LTTers,

Okay- Be honest, how many more times did you see New Moon? So far the record I know of at LTT is @Brookelockart who saw it three times. I’ve only seen it once, and I’m pretty miserable about it. But I promised my best friends I’d see it with them on Tuesday, so I guess I can wait until then.  In the meantime I’ve been thinking about New Moon a lot. I’d think that was weird except by now I know to just say “That’s Normal.” So at brunch today after I talked my husband’s ear off about what a great job I thought Taylor did and how I didn’t miss Rob at all but then loved him when he returned, I took the “I’m only listening to you now so that I don’t have to hear about it later, plus I know the more accepting I am of this the more guilty you’ll feel that we spent the whole time talking about you therefore you’ll be more giving in the bedroom” gaze on his face as totally normal, as well.

Since I finished re-reading New Moon on my plane ride home from Los Angeles and I can’t see the movie until Tuesday, I’ve been doing a bit of reading online to pass the time and get my New Moon fill. First I started with fan reviews.  They were basically the same- filled with “OH MY GAWD Taylor’s abs” and “I think I might switch teams” and “I’m most DEFINITELY not leaving Team Edward but dayyyummmmm can I stare at Jacob’s abs one more time?” Not to forget “Cathy Hardi you suck” and “MARRY  ME CHRIS WEITZ” sprinkled with a little “Kristen now that Nikki is out of the picture can WE be fake lesbians” and “THE ENDING.. AHHH” and “I can’t wait for JUNE!” (Does that basically sum up all the feelings?) But the critic reviews were a different story.

I stayed away from critic reviews before I saw the movie. I wasn’t going to, but then I remembered how I read a review last year before seeing Twilight that suggested that Cathy Hardi’s close up shots of Rob & Kristen’s faces were because they couldn’t portray the connection Edward & Bella were supposed to have well enough. I could never get that out of my head, and I think about it every time I see the movie (and tend to agree). So this time I stayed away from the reviews so I could form my own opinions. Obviously, I loved the movie and I’m looking forward to seeing what my 2nd-10th viewings show me (My husband said if I see it more than 10 times he’ll put me in an institution)

Read all about the reviews after the jump Continue…

Add Comments


Your really important Twilight news

Dear LTTers,

It has come to our attention that many of you come to us for your Twilight news. I understand. We are a valuable news source for up-to-date twilight news & offer a breath of first-hand knowledge (just see letters: The music Stephenie Meyer REALLY listened to while writing Twilight and Jackson got hurt, did he try the leg hitch?

No seriously? Some of you come to US for news? Guys… I have to confess… we leave a lot out.  In order to bring you a brilliant letter each day, we just have to leave it at that- ONE brilliant letter.  So we miss a lot of really important stuff. In fact, sometimes we’re so focused on breaking down insignificant details of unimportant photo shoots, and naming background characters who tag along with the famous people that we ourselves don’t even know what’s going on in the Twi-world. I feel like that this week. Or the past few weeks. So today I’m going to do a run-down of the latest Twi news. Don’t want you missing anything really important!

  • eclipselogoSummit promises to “treat” us with “title treatment” (wtf?) when @twilight receives 200,000 followers on twitter. However, since everyone knows that no one who starts a twitter a month before their SECOND movie releases is to be considered a valuable source for news, they can’t get to 200,000 followers. And someone gets mad. So they release the Eclipse logo. And underwhelm us all. BONUS TIDBIT OF NEWS: Today they just got their 132,763rd follower. They promise to give us something special again IF they reach 200,000. We’re guessing it’s David Slade’s actual height.
  • Harper’s Bazaar tweet-hints that they will soon announce who is on their cover for December. They forget who we are. And that we’re not stupid. And as a result they are punished. And the photo shoot leaks. And we laugh. After we stop crying that we’re not Kristen in this photo-shoot and make a mental note to start saving our Hefty trash bags for a little fashion statement of our own.
  • Toys R’ Us, yes you heard me right, opened a “New Moon Boutique” further solidifying the fact that we can’t believe we’re involved with this fandom. What do I have in common with 7 year olds who know who Geoffrey the Giraffe is? Besides the fact that I also know who Geoffrey the Giraffe is? My only question is if they’re going to be carrying any Twilight-related “toys” ifyouknowwhati’msayin’
  • Speaking of “toys” and in not-really-Twilight-related-news, but still-Twilight-related, this particular (not work-friendly) toy has been out for awhile now. We’ve been waiting to talk about it until we could review it. I got it about 3 weeks ago, tried it out and sent it to Moon who also tried it out. We just got one, ya know, to save money. We’re going to each keep it for a week and then pass it on. It’ll kinda be like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants except it’s The Sisterhood of the Traveling Sparkling Dildo.* The real news is, though, the reviews of the product. Here are our favs:

    OMG! I attatch mine to a wheel chair and pretend Billy Black is effing from behind, then I get another one and attatch a moustache to it and pretend it’s Charlie Swan..he loves it!

    This is highly logical. I ordered four, let’s hope they all fit under my snuggie. Continue…

Add Comments


Twilight Word Vomit: A TwiVomit

Dear Twilight,

So much has been going on lately and I’m having Twilight overload in my brain and all the processing my mind is doing of the new information is coming out in the form of a major word vomit- A Twi-vomit if you will:

twilightgoogle1.   Twilight Google

Finally!  I’ve been looking for the perfect place to learn how to have sex with vampires. My search is now over! A perfectly useless web search “powered by google” but worse than google is the answer! (I did a quick calculation and if you figure $10 for the domain registration, plus the hosting fees & all the time it took to create, I’d say this was a waste of time and a waste of a the perfect amount of money for which one could buy 3 – 3 1/2 cupcakes.)

New-Moon-Rachelle_l2.   Rachelle hugs a Rob pillow

Hi. You’re gorgeous. I wish we could be friends. And secondly, that Rob pillow? That’s brilliant. I love the irony in you holding it tight. The only thing that would have been more amazing is if Rob had held it. Or no- Kristen- If they shot Kristen kissing the Rob pillow- Brilliant.

kellanlutzhobo3.   Kellan- The RastifariaHobo

Dude! Moon didn’t share this piece of info with you all during her Comic-Con recap because she had “pacifico regret,” but she sent me a picture of a guy she danced with to Thriller on the dance floor of the Irish pub and later played tonsil hockey with outside of the bar*, AND IT WAS THIS GUY! Kellan dressed-up!!!!!!!! I mean.. I think. The picture she sent had a guy like this.. uh, his hair may have been longer… and he wasn’t in a thrift-store looking peacoat… and his ski cap was kinda different. Oh never mind. I shouldn’t have said anything….

truebloodtwilight4.   Stephen Moyer from True Blood calls Edward Cullen a “pussy” (and he doesn’t mean a cat)

Um. I love you Bill Compton, I do. But I love Edward Cullen more. Cuz Edward doesn’t do it with his girl after climbing naked out of a hole in the ground. Edward doesn’t sleep in the ground. Edward doesn’t sleep. And wait! The whole point of this word vomit was to talk about how LAMMMEEEE it is that people are comparing True Blood and Twilight and asking Stephen Moyer what he thinks of Edward Cullen in the first place. They are NOT the same. Twilight is NOT a vampire story. I don’t even like vampires! So Stephen, I heart you as Bill, and Rob, I heart you as Rob (oh and as Edward). End of story.

volturi5. The new Volturi picture leaked

And I’m not posting it but have instead included this cartoon of the Volturi that looks like a Weasley twin, two Snapes & a Malfoy for your viewing pleasure (you can see the real photo here) If you want to know my real opinion on the Volturi (of course you do) I’m lovin’ it. No… I didn’t get out my copy of New Moon (because I’m going to hear Bobby Long perform tonight in Philly and I have it packed for him to sign) to check and see if they look anything like Stephenie’s descriptions because, gosh, I don’t care that much! I just want them to look scary to increase my viewing experience- AND THEY DO! Moon thinks Marcus looks like “death personified” while I think he looks a little like “Count Von Count” from Sesame Street (who scared the crap out of me when I was a child- so good job, Summit!) Moon thinks that Aro looks sooo much like Legolas’ uncle from Lord of the Rings and Alec looks like a kid in her neighborhood she wants to punch. I agreed with The Danger Magnet’s comparision of Alec and Zac Efron- Vampfron we’ll call him. And no one can deny that Caius is clearly the ghey vampire. And I’m shocked- Jane looks amazing. I thought she’d pull it off, but not that well! Great job Chris Weitz! Another thing I’m in love with you for: CountVamp, ElvenVamp, Vampfron, GayVamp and HotUnderageVamp!

Bryce Dallas Howard6. Bryce Dallas Howard to replace Rachelle Lefevre as Victoria

Moon & I may have heard a rumor due to a facebook friend earlier yesterday that a new actress was going to play the role of “Victoria” in Twilight. We thought, “Um, that’s odd. Since Rachelle is Victoria.” But not so much. Bryce Dallas Howard is apparently taking over the role of Victoria for Eclipse.  “They” say that Rachelle has a scheduling conflict, but I’m gonna bet $5 that she’s preggers. Because nobody and I mean nobody does a Paul Giamatti movie over a Robert Pattinson movie**

Vomit over,
UnintendedChoice

*false
**sarcasm

Did Moon blow your mind over on LTR today? I bet she did

Talk about Rachelle’s possible ‘baby bump’ over on The Forum

Thanks for Lauren from Lauren’s Bite for inspiring this word vomit-style blog post x

Add Comments


Joan Jett – We feel your pain (aka Kristen Stewart)

Dear Joan,

I bet you totally regret casting that ‘Twilight Girl’ to play you in the Runaways Biopic, even though your niece totally loves that hunky vampire dude and was hoping to meet him because of the KStew connection. But sadly, no Rob and all you’re left with is a skinny girl who blinks and stutters her way through your kick ass life.

And what about the hair? Instead of rocking your bad ass femme mullet she looks more like Johnny Ramone with a lot of volume. Makes me wonder what they’re gonna do in a month when she has to have Bella hair again. Get yo weave on girl!
I just read a story about you yelling at Kristen to step it up her game on the Runaways set and she ended up crying. Did she have the Bella hospital break down on you?

“What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I… (fade out)”

Obviously at this point you had to slap her so she would snap out of it. You’re an original RiotGiRRRL for goodness sake. Teach that trick some respect! And I’m sure you’ll agree with me: There’s no crying in PUNK ROCK! Tell her to snap out of it or we’re gonna have words! Same goes for Dakota Fanning. These two need to bring it or go home cause if they screw up Cherry Bomb like Twilight got screwed we’ll have to lay the smack down like James did in the ballet studio.

So Joan, if you’re ever feeling blue about the whole thing or just like to laugh at people when they fall down, cause who doesn’t? Watch the following video… and maybe one of us will figure out how to put the falling part on loop!

Hello world, I’m your wild girl!
Themoonisdown

PS Read one of our very own LTR/LTT girls ROB ENCOUNTER at LTR!!
Talk about all this goodness at The Forum!

 

Follow the cut for some Runaways musical goodies from me to you!
Continue…

Add Comments


Previous Entries Next Entries

Creative Commons License


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License
.

LTT Privacy Policy



Sponsored by