It’s Eclipse DVD time and I’ve got a party for you!

(*moon note: sorry for the delay in posting! major interwebz outage in LA last night that put a kink in my writing schedule. but never fear i am here! enjoy your weekend and your DVDs!!)

It all begins with a choice! Or something...

Dearest LTT-ers,

It’s that time of the year again. A new DVD is being released and we’re forced to decided between 3248235482 versions when all we want are deleted scenes (x rated extended leg hitch scene), the real commentary (Rob and Kristen talking about how much they read us), a making of docu, and a preview of BD… but since we won’t get those I’ll leave you to decide between all the choices. My choice? The Target one, I heard there’s a picture in picture option on the Robsten commentary and I want to feel like I’m sitting in the middle of a king size water bed with Rob and Kristen as we drink coco and enjoy a few laughs. What’s better than feeling the motion in Robsten’s ocean while hearing them talk about the magicness they found in catering one day. Finally, those catering people remembered to Fed Ex In-n-Out for the cast and how they teased Taylor with the meat patties. The hilarity I tell ya! Clearly, this will all happen while watching the Eclipse DVD by myself!

So now you’ve figured out which DVD to buy (the water bed one) but you need to figure out which place to celebrate! Seems that Walmart is having ‘parties’ all over the US and Blockbuster on Larchmont in LA is hosting Tinsel and some trivia but if fantasizing about Riley in the garden section with a toothless bumpkin isn’t your idea of a good Friday night or you don’t live in shi-shi Larchmont in LA then why don’t you host your own event? That’s what I’ll be doing. It’s called the “Adult women celebrate a 17 year old vampire they never tell their real life friends about so they gather with their internet friends to oogle said boy vampire and get drunk because that’s normal party.” Sounds like fun, right? Sounds like every day to me.

We’ve seen what the Twimoms can do with a party when left to their own devices, See: The Oprah show. If you’re here we know you don’t have a red bathrug cum red carpet in your basement or even have a shirt with a cast member’s face on it, or have dipped Team Jacob/Edward specific strawberries. We’re all “adults” here so I’ll give you step by step instructions for an LTT/LTR approved Eclipse party…

Eclipse DVD parties RULE!

Run to the nearest liquor store and stock up on booze (boxed wine for folks like Jane Trigs, cheap champagne for people like The Font, whatever’s on sale for UC), get some crackers and cheese and a chocolate bar at the TJ’s nearest you, buy whatever DVD you want, put on some sweatpants, eat the cheese and make inappropriate noises whenever a male cast member comes on screen. Fast forward through the women. Presto! Instant party!

You’re Welcome!
Themoonisdown

So what are your plans for the DVD? Throwing an LTT approved party? Going to Wally World? Opening your mailbox and taking out the DVD? Spill it!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

87 Commented


Remember when Stephenie Meyer mentioned us in the Eclipse DVD Commentary?

Dear Stephenie,

Sooooo…. this happened…

click to enlarge for massive awesomeness

Saturday, @Raze71 tweeted us this screen shot from the Eclipse commentary between you and producer Wyck Godfrey. We freaked, we thought we were being Punk’d, we freaked again, we virtually high fived, you said the word “JORTS!” then we had a 45 minute conversation about how we couldn’t believe it.

Nice Jorts, Wyck! You're down with the kids

Then the haters came to play. And as much as they tried to rain on our parade (and boy, did they try) we refused to play that game because you know what, you decided to mention JORTS and US in your commentary and not them so we win and they can SDASTFU (yea, I came up with that one in a fit of crazy emailing between UC and me. have fun figuring it out).

We get that we don’t appeal to everyone and we don’t want to. All we’ve ever wanted to do was make each other laugh. We started that way almost two years ago and we will end it by doing that or die trying. We play by our own rules and we’re unapologetic for that. But that may just be why you’ve read and mentioned us a few times. Honestly, we don’t know why you’ve read us but we are forever appreciative and actually it makes us like you even more because we think you ‘get it’ and that couldn’t make us more proud and make the buzz from our opposition nothing more than an annoying fly buzzing around us that needs to be crushed.

So uh Taylor... I hear they're called Jorts...

Now we would normally ignore these losers who believe anything they hear but they’re so wildly misinformed about us I just have to say one thing to them: WE DON’T HATE KRISTEN STEWART.

Oh and get a life.

Whew. So seriously though Stephenie you said JORTS in the commentary to Wyck Godfrey! That’s like your mom saying “fart” in church or your grandma saying MILF. It’s pretty amazing.

Thank you.
Themoonisdown

PS Have a very Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow everyone!

EVERYONE head over to LTR to read a letter that NEEDS to be read NOW!!!!

Can you believe this??? Cray cray to the max yall! I can’t wait for the DVD to come out in a few weeks. AH!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTRThe ForumTwitterThe Store

150 Commented


Open weekend post: Hosted by the unscripted Twilight actors

Dear Twilight actors,

Once Breaking Dawns 1&2 are out and a few years have passed and Summit re-releases the DVD’s into some huge boxed set can we get some extra special features. One I pray for is the outtake from when Rob pulled his groin trying to lift Kristen off the ground in Twilight and how about you make a few others up like a special featurette on Rob’s American accent couch teaching him how to say “Nachos” and “sidewalk.” Can it come with extras like a ziplock baggy of air captured in Catherine Hardwicke’s bedroom where the audition took place and how about have Kellan write an Emmett fanfic since he seems to have really thought about the backstory for Emmett that we know NOTHING about. And then as the extra extra special feature release the tapes of the Volturi doing their scenes nude. We all know Jamie Campbell Bower was telling the truth when he said they were nude for New Moon.

Stop lying and give us what we want! I’ll be more willing to fork out a couple hundred bucks in 5 years for the DVD’s I already own if these are the special features. Think about it!

Nachos!
Themoonisdown

What special features do you want on a box set of the Twilight saga?

HELP UC OUT WITH A SPECIAL FEATURE WHILE MOON IS AWAY! (Yes I just yelled!)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

29 Commented


Is Twilight a Chick Flick?

Dearr LTT-ers, Frequently we open the mail bag to bring you letters from our readers. Today’s letter is from K who argues that Twilight is a chick flick and should NOT be watched by watched or the books read by guys. Read her letter and tell us what you think. XO-Moon

dvdcover

For ladies only?

Dear UC and Moon,

Due to a recent development in my love life (thank goodness, right? I was getting a little bored with a lack of one) I think I’ve come to a realization, and that is this:  I don’t want to date a unicorn.  :o  *gasp!*  I know, right?!

We adore our beloved unicorns.  We encourage them.  We create them (to the best of our abilities).  So why on earth wouldn’t I want my new interest to become one?
Lets face it:  Twilight is a chick flick.  Movie and books both.  There’s absolutely no arguing against that.  I don’t care how many wired stunts, mirror crashing action, and buttcrack santa jokes you throw in there; it’s still one of the biggest chick flicks ever.  I’ve heard so many people try and argue this point and fight against, but truth is truth.  So without further adieu, I give you my stance.
You know it’s a chick flick when:
  • it’s a love story
  • the fan base is undeniably, predominantly female and has a “tween” rep
  • you here shrieks of glee when the title flashes across the screen
  • the lead male is frequently referred to as “beautiful” on and off screen
  • it inspires products like lip gloss and shimmer powder
  • the lead male sparkles
  • the lead female is fully clothed for over 95% of the movie.
  • there’s a prom scene and no one dies (so close bella)
  • the subjects discussed between characters include dresses, boobs, characters’ relationship status’, and the swim team’s peens.
  • the dialogue includes words and terms like “irrevocably”, “matriculate”, “masochistic”, “Debussy”, and “spidermonkey”.
  • there’s more silent, awkward turtle, moments then there is action
  • the only weapons are mind powers which do not translate visually.
  • fans constantly fight over who’s the dreamiest
  • it takes place in a forest setting and there’s no sign of elves, dwarves, or an extra-terrestrial fought by a commando who states “If it bleeds, you can kill it.”
And lets face it, as far as chick flicks go, this one is unconditionally and irrevocably one of the chick-iest of them all.  Which brings me back to why I would never date a unicorn.  Girls always talk about how they want a sensitive guy, who’s not afraid to show his emotions, or cry.  Fine, good, be sweet and adorable and cry when your puppy gets hit by a car, but for the love of all that is good and right in this world, do not run out of the room in horror when a spider is spotted and do NOT like Twilight.
Dear all future boyfriends….

 

Follow the cut to see what boyfriends should NOT do!
Continue…

178 Commented


Characters that got the shaft in the movie Vol. 1: Jasper

Jasper_Cullen

Dear Jasper –

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now since I first saw the movie and now that I’m rereading Twilight (again). I’ve come to a conclusion Jasper: I think you got royally screwed in the movie. You (as well as some others I will cover in later posts) got screwed out of some majorly needed character development and denied one of the most powerful and in my personal opinion one of the BEST scenes from the book. You know the one… if you’ve got your bibles Twilight books handy it’s on page 404, near the end after the baseball scene they’re in the garage and everyone has run off to chase after James and Victoria while Alice and Jasper take Bella to Phoenix. Bella and Jasper are alone in the garage and this exchange takes place…

Jasper and I looked at each other. He stood across the length of the entryway from me… being careful.

“You’re wrong, you know,” he said quietly.

“What?” I gasped.

I can feel what you’re feeling now — and you are worth it.”

“I’m not,” I mumbled. “If anything happens to them, it will be for nothing.”

“You’re wrong,” he repeated, smiling kindly at me.

jasperaliceAmazing, isn’t it? Calm, cool reassuring Jasper says one of the most profound ideas of the entire saga, the whole basis for why they put themselves in danger, the reasoning behind Edward’s love for her. That above all else SHE’S WORTH IT! And it was not in the movie! What were they thinking? They added in some totally necessary parts and left THIS gem out? I really can’t quite understand that. Not only was this amazing scene cut from the movie we also never really learn fully about your abilities, Jasper. It’s mentioned that you’re “special” like Edward and Alice but they never explain how or why. Instead Jackson is forced to play Jasper as some sort of Edward Scissorhands caricature with crazy eyes and a serious need for Immodium AD. When really he’s a much deeper character with very deep emotions.

I understand the limitations of film but I still think you got screwed and I can only hope that they get it right from here on out with not only your character Jasper but with a lot of other ones. And while we’re at it can you tell Stephenie Meyer once she’s through finishing Midnight Sun she can start on the Alice/Jasper story. I’m DYING simply DYING to know more! I need to read the diner scene and get all ooey gooey with some Jasper and Alice love.

Soothe me Jasper,
Themoonisdown

Now don’t jump the gun… this is volume ONE and we have plenty of other characters to talk about!

Don’t let the good times end, head over to the forum and today’s daily chat!

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