If not you, Twilight. It’s me…

(While I’m away in Kenya for 2 weeks (TWO WEEKS! AH!!!) we’ll be featuring past letters writers as well as new ones and today we have a newbie: KSiggy2010 writing a break up letter. NOOOO say it ain’t so! xo,moon)

uh ooooohhh

Dear Twilight,

We have to talk. No, please don’t cry. It’s all going to be okay. We’ve been together for a year and a half now, and it was a fun time. But I think I may be over. It’s not you, it’s me. I was young and naïve when we first got together, but now things are going to be changing. I start college in the fall and I don’t want to do the long distance thing. I’m sorry but I’m going to have to let you go. Don’t cry! If you start crying, I’ll start crying. But it won’t change anything.

Remember all the good times we’ve had. Like the time my mother *50 year old cougar* and I went to see the 100 monkeys…twice. This was back in May ’09 when he was still hott, without his catfish facial hair and side talking. That was a good time, we got to see Philadelphia and the skeezy parts of Allentown. That was my first time, the popping of my Twilight cast cherry.

My second time was better than my first; it went much smoother and was relatively painless. My mother booked two bus tickets to go into NYC to see Tim Burton’s exhibit at the MOMA. Coincidentally, Rob’s Remember Me premiere was also going on…totally didn’t plan that *wink* So I obsessively checked Twitter  to see what was going down and got my wristband and chilled till the epicness of the movie premiere began. We stood in line for hours on end, but then Rob came *twss* over in his hobo greatness, with his unwashed hair, and his two button downs. It was hard *twss* to believe that this man could be even more attractive in person, but he was. Then some chick was there with a greasy black mullelephant. She didn’t come over and there may have been some *bitchfacing* going down on my side.

I don't want you to come... to college with me...

There are so many other things that happened through our Twilight relationship. I cannot see a group of bears or wolves without yelling “They are NOT bears!” whilst pointing and jumping. That can get you some strange looks in a toy store, and maybe a special hug from the security guards. Whenever someone offers me a grape lollipop, I have to say, “Purple’s cool”. I can’t go to TGI Fridays and watch people drink an Ultimate Margarita while Van Morrison croons “Wild Nights” on April 9th and not think about, you, Twilight *this really did happen and it blew my mind*.

I cannot go into my dorm room in September with my New Moon AND Eclipse full size Edwards, pocket Edward, my photo albums, and fanfiction binders. I think it’s time we take a break. Maybe we can get together when I’m home for breaks? I’m sure my mother would be willing to entertain you. So Twilight, it’s not you, it’s me. But believe me I’ll be there cringing when you bring us Breaking Dawn.

You’ll always be in my heart,
KSiggy2010

Oh KSiggy don’t let our love die! NOOOO. I think you can have the best of both worlds, college AND Twilight. It’s all about the balance and leaving those cardboard standups at home. Oh and don’t pass up an opportunity to go out with friends, party or meet people for staying in your room and doing Twilight stuff. It will always be there! College will not! Have fun and let’s all give KSiggy2010 some college advice… can we really have the best of both worlds or will we all inevitably “grow out” of this stage?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

103 Commented


Where are they now? All our old favorites edition!

Dear LTT-ers,

Anytime I hear Lady Gaga’s song “Pokerface” I inevitably think of AmanDUH and I get sad. She was a legend in her own time and then deleted her YouTube account before we barely knew her. Well we KNEW her kitchen and her hallway with the bed sheet strung up and we DEFINITELY knew her “special” husband she made dress us as Edward in their backyard but we didn’t get to see her mature into her artistry. And that got me thinking about all our other old Twilight favorites that we loved and talked about so much… what are they doing now? Are they happy? Do they think back on us and Twilight with fond memories?

So I decided to do a little research and see what our old pals are up to.

How I’ll always think of Michael

Oregano – Michael Angarano will ALWAYS be the Young William in Almost Famous and for that I will always love him and I truly have high hopes that he will or maybe has escaped the Kristen/Robsten nonsense he was aparty too. I heard some rumors of him and Emma Roberts being an item and that would account for the frosty exchange between Rob and Emma on Leno but I don’t care enough to research this. So I’ll take the easy route… from the looks of IMDB he is busy like a bee, but not too much to pace in front of my favorite coffee shop a few weeks ago. My friends had to restrain me from asking what REALLY happened and what Cathi is REALLY like and if Nikki was REALLY involved in the whole final breakdown and if he can get me Patrick Fugit, Zooey Deschanel and Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s numbers.

Catherine Hardwicke – Besides being asked to make appearances at all TGIFriday’s grand openings in the continental US because she’s such a huge supporter of the chain restaurant our dear Jamaican vacation loving cougar is directing movies again! With Billy Burke as a character in her new period piece movie, Red Ridinghood, I wonder if she’ll make him grow a killer pornstache or walk around with a sword in one hand and a can of Vitamin R in the other. Whatever it is we know she’s already got the Lukas Haas/Amanda Seyfried audition tape from her groovy bedroom in Venice Beach on LOCKDOWN.

Sage – Formerly of super group Sage and the Dills. Ok, maybe not super group. But according to Nikki Reed herself she directed Sage’s video for a song which I’m sure I don’t care about but features Nikki’s “friend” Johnny Flynn. Why, Johnny WHY?!

AmanDUH - Oh Amanduh… where for art thou AmandUH?! You made us love you with your renditions of songs from the Twilight soundtrack, your dramatic reading of chapters from Twilight and who can forget the music video you did with your special Husband? We miss you! Where did you go? I did some light googling and found our girl is STILL at it only she runs her own fansite… HER own fansite the Amadah fansite and has like 5 youtube accounts. And I’m sad to report I think she may have left “Special Edward” and the kids in that apartment, changed her name and is now a porn star with a guido looking boyfriend. Maybe. These are my conclusions after my google research.


(if someone can figure out wtf that black line over her lip is, I’ll give you an award)
She’s also decided to honor The Runaways and obviously Kristen’s portrayal of Joan Jett with this stunning hair and makeup job. Though NOT a mullet (amateur!) she does have the pleather painted on! ALL HAIL AMANDUH! She’s back… or at least until she finds out I embedded her video here.

All my fave DILF moments, minus the orange pants

Chris Weitz – The man, the DILF, the legend. He made it alright for us to hope for something better than the Twilight movie. Under his careful guidance and sexy scarves we dared to hope for better FX, better wigs and NO spider monkeys. We got 2 of the 3. And we’re forever grateful. Chris paved the way for David Slade to take the reins and OWN Eclipse HARD. We can now only cross our fingers for Bill Condon’s vision for Breaking Dawn and thank Chris Weitz for paving the way. But what is our ol lover up to these days? He famously said he was going to retire after he finished “The Gardener” but by the looks of his IMDB he’s looking sexy as hale AND he’s linked to FOUR new projects that are “in development.” One of these is officially the best movie ever based on it’s title: “Another Bullshit Night in Suck City.” Whatever Chris Weitz ends up doing I’ll always want to give him a hug for making New Moon.

Where will the Bananager and David Slade and Xaiver Samuel end up and all our other latest favorites? Do we think anyone will end up on a future season of Celebrity Rehab? Here’s hoping not unless they have Rehab for an addiction to chain restaurant Italian food. Ahem.

Off to watch a billion AmanDUH  videos!
Themoonisdown

Who do you miss or wonder what ever happen to them? What happened to Buttcrack Santa? Has anyone ever actually been to Sage show?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

78 Commented


Eclipse Reality Index

Dear Eclipse,

My dear friends @Too_Far_Gone & @lula34 and I LOVE Gossip Girl. That means that every Tuesday, after the latest episode Monday night, we share blog posts we found and stories from the episode the night before. And, of course, lusty videos of Chuck Bass. One of our favorite weekly routines is reading The New York Mag’s Gossip Girl Reality Index where they rate the “realness” or “Fakeness” of an episode & arbitrarily assign points. The 3 of us did this for Remember Me and we’re doing it today for Eclipse. Let’s see how real Eclipse really is!

Realer than Jacob’s vivid tent fantasies that Edward obvious knows about and later uses on Bella because they were pretty damn good ideas. In yo’ face, Jake:

Edward tries to distract Bella from studying from her English final – typical horny male behavior. Plus 5

Vitamin R in the afternoon! It’s happy hour at the Swan house! Plus 3

Sex talk between father & daughter just as awkward as one would expect, even though the father is the coolest & has a rockin’ stache’ Plus 7, but “Dad, I’m a virgin” and she’s dating THAT HOT PIECE? Minus 7, because that’s just not fair.

Jacob’s Cheshire cat smile when Bella hops on the bike with him. I don’t even want to KNOW what kind of thoughts Edward overheard after that. Plus 4

Wonder why Bella has no style sense...

Renee’s white trash outfit at the beach- so Florida plus 3

Chief Black wearing a cowboy hat as a replacement headdress. SWEET. Plus 2

The “let’s sit around the campfire and tell wolf pack/3rd wife stories” scene is just as boring on screen as it is in the book. The upside? It’s the perfect time to go potty and grab a pack of peanut M&Ms. Plus 3

Rosalie THROWS the paper across the room before stalking out to the porch, remaining just in sight of everyone in the living room. Plus 5, because I’ve pulled this move at least once in every fight I’ve had in the past 6 months. A proper bitchy departure takes practice.

Rosalie’s attitude and general hatred of Bella – very realistic, possibly because Nikki actually hates Kristen in real life? Either Plus 3 for Art imitating Life, or for excellent acting on Nikki’s part.

Leah’s bitchy attitude towards Bella when she stops over to see Sam & Emily, plus 8, because the girl has to hear Jacob’s very vivid thoughts about her. And unless Leah’s a closeted lesbian…. no girl wants to hear that….

My boobs look great in yellow

Having Anna Kendrick’s Jessica be the Valedictorian of their graduating class, giving that awesome speech so that her mere screen presence could class up the joint? As real as the hair on her head. And probably only her head, because everyone else in that cast wearing a wig. (Also, we needed her presence desperately, even for only a few minutes, because Michael Sheen wasn’t in Eclipse. Sad.) Plus 23

Edward proposing with a miniature cheese grater ring (approved by Stephenie Meyer, TM) and giving Bella blue balls, all in the same night? Yep, that’s totally Eclipse. Plus 38 but minus 12 for my blue balls

Everyone at the graduation party is in cute dresses and heels… Bella shows up in a blue chambray button-up and jeans. Plus 3 for realistic costumes, Minus 1 for the chambray shirt.

Jacob tells Bella she’ll warm up faster if she’s naked. Plus 30 for the attempt

Victoria uses her boobs and other ASSets to make Riley do what she wants. How else does a woman get what she wants from a man? Plus 8.

While showing the wolves how to throw down against an army of newborn vamps, Jasper whoops the asses all of his family members. Except for Alice. Because she is badass. But she kisses him anyway. Because that is who she is and that is why we love her the most. Plus 17

Anyone spot the vampire in the 3 piece suit and wool overcoat? Riley doesn’t discriminate when it comes to making newborns! Plus 4 for anti-discrimination.

Jacob has a camo-bedspread. Plus 35, because it’s all in the details.

Points= 181

See what’s fake after the jump! Continue…

213 Commented


It’s THIS big? Handtalkers interview Stephenie Meyer!

Dear LTT-ers and Stephenie super fans,

It’s Friday again so time to roll out some more of our interview with Stephenie Meyer. We’ve told you all about “Leghitch, hunt, imprint” and we’ve even showed you how well Stephenie can perform the leg hitch and how we drooled over Xavier together. Now it’s time to hit up the never ending fountain of awesome that is the pictures from the interview. Who knew 4 hours worth of pictures of a couple people around a table could be so interesting?

Roll that beautiful bean footage…


Moon: So Stephenie, I was wondering how big the fish Charlie catches on a Saturday out with Harry Clearwater… are they this big? What about Robert Pattinson’s feet? They’re pretty large right? Tell us more about what size he’s working with…
UC: That’s why he’s always tripping, right? Size issues… down there?


Stephenie: Guys, it’s all pretty normal. Like the size of my hand here… not that big of a deal.


Twilight Series Theories: But if you stretch it out would it be the size of the bacon on my plate or the piece of melon?


Twilight Series Theories: Ok, ok… what if you smooshed it?


Twilight Source: Stephenie, what about if you REALLY get in there and jiggled it around, really shook it, would it still be that size?


Twifans: We’ve taken the liberty of drawing up a few options of what we think if could be last night in our hotel room. You don’t have to answer but if it’s smaller, cough twice and if it’s bigger, wink your left eye


Twifans: Wait, was that two winks or one?


Meghan: Guys, trust me she’s not lying I’ve seen her sketches in her notebook. It’s really this big.


Twilight Source: So we’re talking about a foot? Or two glasses of Butter Beer stacked on end? Or maybe it’s the same length as Harry’s wand?


Stephenie: Really?! I choose you all to interview me instead of major news outlets and this is what you ask about?


Moon: Alright. Point taken. So, Stephenie… we figured out the length, but what about the weight… could I hold it in this hand without assistance?
Stephenie: Oh my god! You guys… trust me. *coughs twice*

COME ON who doesn’t love a size joke?!

Happy Friday!
Themoonisdown

What were we talking about? And how big IS it? If you could ask Stephenie anything NOT Twilight related what would it be?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Legal Stuff:
All photographs are owned by Stephenie Meyer and there may be no copying or other exploitation of such photographs without the express prior written permission of Stephenie Meyer, c/o Jodi Reamer jreamer@writershouse.com
All Photos: Julie Adamson

64 Commented


Open Weekend Post: Someone proposes Eclipse-style and gets it RIGHT

Dear guy who proposed during Eclipse & those who think Twilight-themed weddings are good ideas, (<— Click that last one!)

Take note of the following story I found when trolling through The Forum from our a LTTer, Robsten4life:

“So as many of you know from twitter, boyfriend, after 7 years, finally popped the question!

I knew it was coming because about a month ago when we were in NYC we went to an antique jewelry store in soho and of course we weren’t actually intending to buy, just to look around, but we found THE ring and didn’t want to let it go. I went back this past Saturday to pick up the ring.

Boyfriend is well aware of my Twiobsession which has been in full force since Eclipse, so really it’s been an Eclipseobsession, which he likes to rag on me about. Friday night Boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and he says to me,

“Well you might as well just wear the ring after you pick it up tomorrow since I can’t think of anything romantic to say/do.”

I had previously made it clear that I didn’t want anything elaborate and didn’t want an audience. So we’re sitting on the couch and on comes a tv spot for Eclipse and I told him that if he needed inspiration he should read chapter 20 of Eclipse  as many of you know the proposal scene and Edward’s actual line is my favorite line in the whole series!

“I promise to love you forever – every single day of forever” -Edward

So this afternoon he comes out of his man cave and hands me Eclipse and says “is this the right part?” I open the book and this is what I see:

then he very simply just got down on one knee and asked me to marry him (I guess he couldn’t actually bring himself to say the line! ) It was all very sweet and simple and I loved it.

The ring is antique, from the 30′s, it’s art deco and I absolutely adore it!”

OMG, Robsten4Life!!! DID HE RUIN YOUR ECLIPSE BOOK? I would’ve been SOOOOOOOO times 1,000,000 pissed!!!!

#Priorities :)

CONGRATULATIONS from everyone at LTT!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

78 Commented


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