Influencing Stephenie: Bella’s Wedding Dress

Dear Stephenie Meyer

Last night I got home from being away for over a week. I spent a lot of time in the hospital and funeral home and cars so you can imagine what I was there for and how out of the loop I am. I didn’t know exactly how out of the loop until I was talking to my roomie last night and she asked me if I heard about you, Stephenie Meyer and THE wedding dress. And I was like WHHHAAAAATT?? Clearly, I really was out of the Twilight loop because I had NO clue what she was talking about and that hasn’t happened since like 2008. So she filled me in and told me that you would be the one choosing the wedding dress Bella would wear in the movie. And I thought well, duh… you should be, I mean this is your story and your Bella and you’re a producer after all.

That got me thinking though, what will this dress look like? From the description in Breaking Dawn it seems like some sort of ruffled, high neck, Victorian affair and not so modern. BUUUTTT with this being the movie I don’t see some Laura Ingles Wilder style dress translating well on the screen so I was hoping we could come up with a few options AND that also got us to thinking that if you occasionally, at your own admission, stop by this fair blog we thought we might be able to throw in a few ideas here and there.

Of course this got us scheming thinking (it was a lot of thinking) even more that since you’re a producer and can throw in ideas why not play with their minds a bit and see who’s REALLY committed to your vision and characterizations in Twilight. We all know Bella is kinda dowdy and not very flashy and Edward is a conservative guy so they probably wouldn’t be down for dresses like this…


This number is totally reusable on the Isle Esme honeymoon! After all the Krisbians do love Kristens legs and this is perfect showcase for them. Totally Bella! Nothing says Bella Swan getting married like a white satin romper!


Tell everyone that Bella and Edward are a couple that are being featured on MTV’s teen mom and because Edward is such a stand up, traditional guy he wants to marry Bella before Renesemee pops out so this will be the dress she wears before they are forced into a life of mediocrity, drama and being on the same channel as those sluts from Jersey.


Ok, so maybe Bella and Edward believe that sex can wait till marriage so what about trying to convince Kristen that Bella would really wear this cause she’s a woman of the world, she’s from Phoenix.

Seriously, Stephenie please please please start pranking the cast by suggesting stuff like these slutty wedding dresses or maybe tell Rob you were a huge fan of the extensions Cathi Hardi had Edward in before they settled on the bouffant hairdo. Then see if the cast tries to stick up to you and defend their characters. If Kristen doesn’t insist on a floor length khaki wedding dress with a train and royal blue (something blue!) top than you need to regulate!

But in all seriousness if Bella’s dress doesn’t turn out something like InStyle’s Twilight wedding dresses, forinstance this Monique Lhullier dress than we’re over!

Ok… ok we won’t be over but ya know… just don’t do the satin romper.
Themoonisdown

So what other topics should we start “influencing” Stephenie on? What’s your idea for Bella’s wedding dress?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

120 Commented


Everyone eventually reads Twilight, right?

Dear Twilight,

There are people out there in all of our lives who look at us strangely when they hear we stayed up for 3 days straight getting through a book about a vampire & werewolf love triangle, or that we’re going to a midnight release of a movie in costume, that we met friends online or laugh hysterically every time we pass by an Olive Garden. Not only do they look at us strangely, but they judge us. And while it’s nice to say, “They just don’t know what they’re missing out on,” I think if we were all honest we’d admit it pisses us off. How DARE they judge something they #1 don’t know anything about and #2 has been so important in each one of our lives? And furthermore, when you RUN a Twilight blog and get a chance to SIT DOWN with the Twilight creator and you STILL judge me, well, maybe that bug you found in your lunchtime salad wasn’t the grocery stores fault after all…. (okay no, I didn’t do that, but I considered it!)

So after almost 2 years of obsessing & blogging and while most people in my life have either succumbed to the pressure of my constant begging to join the obsession or judge me incessantly and have a restraining order against me, it is so nice when someone in my life finally DOES jump on board! And instead of spending my days writing anonymous hate letters to those who judge my, I can spend my days reminiscing about losing my own Twilight virginity along with my newly obsessing friend? My sister Snails was that recent person in my life.

Snails (I really call her that, by the way) knew I loved the saga. She knew our two other sisters read & loved it. She knew I ran a semi-famous Twilight blog & got to meet the author. Yet she still had no desire to crack open the book. It wasn’t until we found out the Step-Monster from Hell (aka dad’s now EX-Fiancee) was coming along with us on family vacation that she decided she needed a distraction.

A few days later, she responded to my “Hello!???? THOUGHTS????” email with this:

i haven’t actually started new moon… i will tonight. It keeps reminding me of Avatar. I think of it whenever edward and company are running in the forest, how they can run really fast, and bella on his back feeling like she’s not even moving, and how graceful they are, that always reminds me of the pandorians (?)…. and sometimes i would catch myself picturing the cullens with tails and the wide-brimmed nose. haaa. i kept having to remind myself that they look like humans. and also the fact that the vampires have such a good sense of smell and good hunters reminded me of avatar. i don’t remember a whole lot about the movie, but i do remember how graceful the pandorians were. I guess since the Cullens aren’t human, and they do so many unhuman things, my brain can’t really wrap around it, so I picture it in 3D like Avatar. So that brings me to my next question, are the movies in 3D??? Because they should be!

And I asked the most important question: “Do you LOVE Edward!?”

Yes, I love Edward minus the tail and big nose. He’s soooo dreamy. But I still love my husband. Although sometimes I got annoyed at edwards mood swings… Especially in the beginning of the book when he stared at Bella with black eyes… I hated him then, but now he’s cool. He made up for it by being awesome.

A few days later, it was obvious she was full-force into New Moon because of this text:

“Hubby & I are snuggling in bed. He is cold. I am warm. He is Edward and I am Jacob. Jacob & Edward are spooning!! Ha! He didn’t like that joke…”

Think they'll take on Leah as a Sister Wife?

And then a few days later, randomly out of nowhere:

“I can’t choose! Team Edward or Jacob? Edward or Jacob!? I actually want them all to live in a plural marriage. That’s the best option. I hope that’s how it ends. I just let the boy I nanny for sleep in so I could read a few more chapters.”

Sigh.. remember that? Neglecting little children to read more about Edward (and imagine being in a plural marriage with him & Jacob? Oh wait.. that might just be Sister Snails.)

And when it was all over, I received a text I shall cherish for all eternity:

“You were right. I loved them”

Ahh…. the best words to hear! Makes dealing with those who judge me almost worth it.

After the jump, read another story of a friend getting her retribution Continue…

144 Commented


I just don’t “get” Rob Pattinson

Today Team Seth leads us in a conversation about those who GET Rob Pattinson & those who do not:

Dear LTT,

I know we just had our anniversary last month, but I need to let you know that I’m feeling guilty. Just a little bit. It’s not about something that I’ve DONE, don’t worry, I would never, ever hurt you, but rather about something that I HAVEN’T done. And I’m not talking about the dishes–but I will finish those up, so quit nagging!  Okay, it’s best just to say it: I feel guilty that I don’t know anything about Rob and that I never go to LTR.

I know what you’re thinking, “What is Rob compared to rocks and mountains?”  I know right! Seriously! That’s what I was thinking too, but, one time when I was talking to UC on gchat, she said something about Rob and I had no clue what she was talking about. She replied, “Wait, you don’t like Rob?” and I felt SO BAD, but I couldn’t lie–not to UC!–so I softened my actual opinion by saying, “Well, he’s not my favorite.”  She replied, “Oh, I just assumed everyone who reads the blogs did.”

Record scratch.

Is there something wrong with me?

This is how I imagine a conversation between a Normal LTRer and myself might go:

TeamSeth: So, what, you… you can’t see anyone?
NormalLTRer: I can’t see anyone in this room apart from Rob. There’s… Plaid shirt. Sex hair. Salvation army clothes. Sex jaw. Cat. And then you, nothing. You don’t see Rob. That’s very frustrating.
TeamSeth: Is there something wrong with me?
NormalLTRer: See, I tell you that I can only see Rob, and you think there’s something wrong with you.

I’m so Bella in this situation! Confused guilt! I don’t Robsess. I never did. I never will. I cannot be “converted” to “the Rob“.  I am lost on all things Rob. Sure he’s hot, but so what! What is it about him that I just don’t get? That I just don’t see that everyone else seems to see?  What is so spectacular about Rob?  I thought he acted better in Harry Potter! At least we could hear him speak as if he didn’t have a retainer in his mouth. (“We have to leave Forks.”) And I DID watch Little Ashes but that was because I studied that era of Spanish literature and art. I won’t pretend I didn’t enjoy the masturbation by the radiator scene, but otherwise, Marina Gatell made that film. She was brilliant.

Now, before you blow both my freakin’ heads off, please hear me out. This is a tweed serious situation for me.

What don’t you buy? That’s how I feel.

I took the quiz- The Robsessed quiz to determine what level you are. I know I’m an outsider to LTR, so I don’t really count, but hell, I needed to know!  I’m a level 2.  TWO!  I felt ashamed. As an active member of the LTT “online book club”, shouldn’t I at least be level 3 by osmosis?  But then in my ashamed comment about it, which sparked this whole letter, I realized that I’m a level-5 Burke obsession and a level-6 Bewley/Cudmore (they come as a twin-pack for me, sorry, that’s how I met them).  So, what does that mean?  Rob’s just not my type?

I mean, some girls are into Rob, not ALL girls apparently… Though I’m surprised you even went to LTR at all.

It’s just hard–isolating–to not like Rob.  Have you ever google image searched Daniel Cudmore?! I mean, go try it right now, I’m serious. Go try it.  Yeah. Exactly. And in 1 week when you google image search him again, I promise, those same 10 pictures will pop up, just in different image sizes.  You remember when I used to post Billy Burke and Charlie Bewley pics every day?  That was me challenging myself to find a unique image of those guys every day. There are less photos of the Charlies combined than there are scandals of Rob right now (see! I really did go read LTR!)

All I’m saying is, you Rob people, you are so darn lucky! Robp0rn EVERYWHERE! New Robporn ALL the time! Lucky lucky lucky! It’s like that song should be changed to “It’s raining Rob! Hallelujah it’s raining Rob!”  Because really, I can google image search Rob and then 10 seconds later do it again and there’s NEW pictures! It’s astonishing really.

I used to be a good kid, but not anymore.

RPattz has nothing on JJacks

Well, I decided to take a long, hard look at this situation and figure out why I’m not into Rob, but am into Bewley, Cuddley, and Burke.  I had to trek all the way down memory lane back to when Eckerds was still a company and it was where I spent most of my weekly allowance on Bop magazine. I never liked JTT and hardly liked Devon Sawa*, but I was totally into Jonathan Jackson. Like hardcore. To the point that I wrote him a letter in my 10 year old bubbly scribble. I even got a response in postcard form with an obviously fake signature (which pissed me off). Each Bop magazine had usually 1 pic of Jackson, and like 5 of JTT and 3 of Sawa. So unfair! Then, as time progressed, I began to have a huge crush on Ethan Embry. Who?  Precisely. If he hadn’t starred in Can’t Hardly Wait, I’m not sure what I would’ve done to decorate my closet door.

The point is, I’ve never crushed on the popular guy. Maybe I have this sick idea that the least famous he is, the more likely I’ll be able to meet him? I don’t know. But even in middle school and high school, my sister can attest to this, the guys I picked to crush on weren’t really the cream of the crop. I mean, if you’re gonna go for it, at least pick a hot guy, right? But, no. And it wasn’t like, “Oh, he’s got an awesome personality and is so funny.” thing, I wouldn’t even KNOW the guy! I’d just assign him as “hot” in my mind and then write about him obsessively for a week in my diary. Then the next week I’d hate him and say how “butt-ugly he was anyway”. Ah, seventh grade.

So, what’s my deal?  Why can’t I just be normal and like the guy everyone else does? Why can’t I just like Rob?
And furthermore, who the hell is TomStu? Not quite Rob, but always around? Sounds like he might just be who I ought to have been crushing on all along…

With Kind Regards,
TeamSeth

*tuesdaymidnight–what’s up with Sawa these days? I know this is your specialty.

Follow-up:
I finally google image searched TomStu. Holy crap! He sort of has this Matt Smith thing going on in a few of the pics. I can’t even decide what to do now. Is it weird to have a crush on TomStu?  Do other people do this? Is it the cool thing to do?   If I’m crushing on TomStu, and he’s Rob’s bestie, does that make a Rob-crushing person my bestie? Should I even effort this at all? Is he even straight?! Is he of legal age? Is he too ‘mainstream’ for me? Maybe I’ll just dive on in… GERONIMOOOOO!!! (yes Stacey, that last reference was for you, oh, and you, Sj)

Team Seth: Is it safe to assume you’re not the biggest Edward Cullen fan? If so, is THAT maybe why you don’t get Rob?

LTT Update

The Forum is still down, but some of the Rob’s Flat regulars started a Google Group. Request to join to continue in the fun while we figure out how to fix what the Russian spies broke when they tried to steal our secrets on the creation of a successful photo- manip of Big Daddy consuming a fried fish sandwich.  Rob’s Flat Google Group

Otherwise you can find us on Twitter & on LTR where we talk about “That Rob Guy!”

168 Commented


Not Everyone Knows About Edward Cullen

We got this letter the other day

You don't know me? Then I'm gonna eat your dog

Girls,

I was in my office last week, talking about books and stuff…as you do. And there was a person in my office who had NEVER HEARD of Edward Cullen.

I want to know how this is humanly possible?!

The man (or Rob is, anyway) is everywhere (forget Rob, he’s overkill right now, just give me his frequent flyers). T-shirts, dolls (on sale in Borders, 50% off), magazines, DVD’s, newspapers, even blogs. He’s probably on a fridge magnet somewhere and pencils, too. You can’t walk down the street or turn on the television or turn on a computer without encountering Twilight/Edward/Rob in some way. How is it possible that anyone in the Western world has never heard of this character? He literally screwed up his eyebrows in confusion and said ‘who’? when the name Edward Cullen was mentioned.

Because my brain is now distorted with too much Twi-Fic (I blame you and your blog for the countless hours that I have spent reading this stuff!), too many blogs – am I too close to it to see that it maybe isn’t as everywhere as I might have thought? Am I actively seeking Twi/Edward, and therefore don’t realise that he isn’t as everywhere as I assume him to be?

This is sort of more your super sleuth department than mine – but seriously. He’d never heard of Edward Cullen. And he’s in his twenties! Is this possible, and if so, how?

Natalie

I respond, after much deliberating & research, after the jump! Continue…

6 Commented


The VILF deconstructed by Stacey and Stacey

(Today Stacey – Snowwhitedrifted or West Coast (WC) and Stacey East Coast (EC) take on the VILF’s we’d love to marry, hit it or just stare at and why they’re so alluring. – moon)

Goose and Maverick the Edward and Jasper of the 80s

Dear VILFS of Twilight (and other series),

In the eighties it was surfers and beach volleyball players. In the nineties it was athletes and firemen. The new millennium, however, boasts vampires as the most coveted object of desire for the female gender. Vampire sex appeal is at an all time high. I think this is partially due to the monster success of Twilight as well as some other factors.

EC Stacey: Wait. Are we getting serious here? The tweed kind of serious. Let me throw on these Kate Spade glasses. Alice approved, ya’ll. Hold on wearing an old David Letterman tee-shirt and Yoga pants, must change into designer…never mind. At least I got the glasses. Okay, Stacey (SWD) commence with your thoughts.

WC Stacey/ SWD: Many people claim that the vampire-ness of Twilight is insignificant and it’s totally a love story. Sure, the Cullens are like the passivist emo-hippies of the vamp world, but they still kick ass, nonetheless.

EC Stacey: Ha ha! I want them to wear tie dyed clothes and beads. Actually, do you think Carlisle and Esme got so sad after the Eclipse fight scene that they wanted to cry, but can’t. So they went back to Casa Carlisle and got all emo listening to Morrisey? Whoops! Got off track. Sexy vampire boys, yay!

Rob and Moz - My wildest fantasies realized! Thanks Fablife!

WC Stacey/ SWD: Morrisey, for the WIN, ha ha ha! I wouldn’t have liked it as much without the vampire aspect. You see, I have been a VILF shipper since I was a kid (duh, the Count (ECStacey: Grover, definitely Grover. Monster. Grr.) was my favorite Seasame Street character), so it was no wonder that Edward (and Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, James, hell even Aro) glamoured the pants off of me. I think this is true for a lot of women. When we break down the characteristics of a vampire, it’s no wonder we offer our necks (ok, and lady bits) willingly.

EC Stacey: Let me get this straight, Aro? I love the Michael Sheen, as much as everybody in the whole world. But Aro? If you said Alec, maybe. Even a creeptastic girl crush on Jane. I want to see that bottle of wine you are drinking. As expected, wine goggles. SWD: OK, note to self, wine in a box enhances wine goggles. If I were drinking “Bitch” wine maybe I’d go fake lesbian for Alice

What Rob's cheek bone structure looks like

WC Stacey/ SWD: Lets start with the fact that Vampires are HOT, well cold actually, but in the looks department they are always stunning. I think every actor born with incredible checkbones signs a deal with the devil to one day play a vampire. Seriously, you could grate cheese on Robs cheekbones (*note to someone, please make that as dirty as possible in the comments).

EC Stacey: Ahh…Rob’s cheekbones… Back on track. I don’t want to leave out the wolves/shifters for you wolfpackers. This might be hard to believe my friends, due to the fact I have a Sophie’s Choice type of love for both Twilight’s Edward and Vampire Diaries Damon. (And yes, I voted for BOTH of them in EW’s Sexy Beast poll. Don’t you judge me.) Originally, I loved the wolf. Seth Green’s OZ on Buffy the Vampire Slayer was my first true supe love. I even married his younger twin. Of course, he’s an accountant and not a rocking guitar player, but I can pretend. SWD: I married Fletch, he has no powers. Also, have you seen Alcide and Sam on True Blood? Nice. Twilight? Jacob’s a buff baby. Okay, Paul’s hot.

WC Stacey/ SWD: So yes, Vampires and Werewolves are beautiful. See exhibit A: (slide show mildly NSFW, mostly because it’s both hands embarrassing)


(moon note – the fact you made this kills me. LOVE and 1:50!)

Follow the cut for the rest of the deconstruction and to find out why we really like the bad boy VILFS
Continue…

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