Things I wish I could say

Dear Twilight,

I had every intention of writing you a letter letting you know I was a little preoccupied with last minute online Christmas shopping & then bill paying (really, Am Ex? Your due on CHRISTMAS EVE?) that I completely forgot to write you a real letter, but then I went into our inbox and read a few recent emails and decided to start a new blog series (content is tough these days, you see) since I have nothing better to do with my time like, say, go to bed, clean my house, or, hey, talk to Mr. Choice… Anyway, it’s called:

Things I wish I could say

In today’s episode, here are a few recent e-mails we/Twilight received & the things I WISH I could say back:

I just wanted you to know that even though I absolutely LOVE the twilight series I will NEVER go see any of the movies ever again. Sunday I took my 11 year old daughter and nephew to see it. My daughter ended up having a seizure during the birthing scene. It was terrifying for us and everyone in the theater! She is absolutely terrified now and doesn’t sleep. I am outraged that knowing these scenes have caused numerous people to have seizures and you still allow the movie to play in the theater. I guess money is everything. my email address is (insert crazy person email address) an x-fan Nancy*

Really, Nancy? REALLY? First of all, did you know you TEXTED that email to us with your ‘neato’ Virgin Mobile phone that seems to call texts “PXTs?” Second of all, you took your eleven year old to see a PG-13 movie? And are pissed that it wasn’t age-appropriate? And the birthing scene was SO terrifying it caused SEIZURES for multiple people? It actually terrified your daughter into a seizure? I hope after her “seizure” you took her to the Doctor who informed you that either #1: She was just a scared 11 year old who saw a movie she should have never seen or #2 She has a serious condition that has nothing to do with a birth scene from a movie. But you left out the most important thing in my email: what did your nephew think?

hi i am a huge fan of your movis and i love taylor lantner oh taylor e-mail me crazyperson@crazyperson.com or go to my website crazyperson.com can u com to my brithday  sleep over  i am 16 teen years old please com oh can u try to   find a boyfriend ………………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  <3 rachel

If you’re 16, and the future of America, I’m scared. Hold me. Please. Not because you love Twilight. I love Twilight. Not because you love Taylor Lautner. I don’t, but I get it. But because you spell “come” as “com” (well, it could be worse) and you included a link to your “website” which was NOT actually a real website. and you still have sleepovers. And spell sixteen as 16teen. Actually… on a second read.. you might be brilliant. Because of this very line “Oh can u try to find a boyfriend…….” Even SHE KNOWS Taylor’s little secret!!

Write. Another. Book please they are addicting -Darya

Okay. I. Will.

No seriously we get 1 line emails demanding Stephenie write another book all.the.time. What are people thinking?

Anyway, you know what I’M thinking! What are YOU thinking!?

Love,
Unintendedchoice

*all names & email addresses have been changed. Craziness is real

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Found in the LTT inbox….

Dear Twilight,

Not only did I get a sickness to end all sicknesses (not really, but I’m a big baby when it comes to pain or getting sick & I was pretty damn sick for about 5 days) but then I had to travel for work, so to say I’m lost when it comes to what is going on in the inter-workings of the fandom right now is an understatement (but besides the inevitable Robsten vs. Nonsten Twitter brawl & maybe a drunk tweet or two from Billy Burke, I bet I’ve missed nothing) So I’m so glad we have such a great group of readers who e-mail us (despite our now terribly embarrassing delayed response time) with stuff they come across in their daily lives.  Here is what I learned about what has happened recently in the world of Twilight:

More like “Super Gay”

Christina sent us this picture from the March 2011 issue if Cosmopolitan magazine. No- it’s not a “100 new positions to try so that your vampire husband doesn’t break your vagina” guide. Nor a “10 ways to remember your birth control when you go on your husband with your Vampire husband” list. It was titled “Superheroes We Wish Existed.” Christina lamented that this is getting slightly out of control and a little bit on the flamer side. I agree:

(Don't they mean 1/2 Edward & 1/2 Jacob?)

Twilight invades our non-Twilight Lives

I don’t watch Parks & Recreation but I heard that they were planning on getting in some good Twilight jabs in last week’s episode. They did. And I laughed:

Fan Vids Bring it all back

I love fan vids & haven’t seen a good one in so long. I was so happy to have this emailed to us this weekend! GOOD fan vids are amazing- they bring back those feelings that sometimes seem so lost about the saga. They remind me why I loved it in the first place- Edward & Bella. I know this isn’t a unanimous thought about Eclipse, but I didn’t feel like it captured the real passion between Edward & Bella. I’m not sure the movies have really portrayed the love that Stephenie writes about in the books. But do you know what does? Fan videos. And they use the same clips as the movies. It’s just something about the way they are edited together & the music chosen along with the scenes- it reminds me what the story is actually about! So TIP FOR SUMMIT- pick your favorite fan video maker (or hey- run a contest!!) and give the winner access to specific scenes in Breaking Dawn- and have them create a video FOR the fans. A promo video that WE will love! DO IT DO IT! (If this doesn’t remind you why you love/loved Twilight- you don’t have a soul. You’re like Edward. Except not as hot. Probably. Unless you are as hot. Then send a pic)

2nd hand Embarrassment fail

Lastly, I always love opening the mail (electronically) and being 2nd-hand embarrassed by one of your horrible Twi-art finds.  When this one was described to me, I couldn’t WAIT to see it! My Little Pony decorated like the Twilight book covers? What could be more embarrassing?

Turns out I’m not embarrassed & I kinda want it for my collection. What happened to me? My childhood self & adult-self worlds are colliding! These little ponies are incredible!!

What’s next? Am I going to confess to owning Twilight-painted Chuck Taylors & a Cullen Boys Track Suit?

Until next time (with hopefully some real Twilight news!)

UnintendedChoice

Have you seen anything marvelous/horrible/interesting lately? Tell me how much you loved that fan vid!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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The LTT Mailbag – A Grandma leaves me speechless

MAIL CALL!!

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s time to crack open the mailbag and see what goodies the crazies have sent us. Since we don’t have Intern Rob like LTR does to answer emails over there I guess I’ll be forced to. Instead of posting a letter from our super funny readers I’ve broken into our special “crazies” folder to bring you a little chuckle this Monday (ugh) morning…

I get that Bella is in love with Edward but still has feelings for Jacob.  Jacob is suspicious of Edward’s intentions.  Do you think Edward is hiding something more from Bella and Jacob?  I think Edward might not be everything that he says he is.
Love,
Suspicious

Edward on the weekends

Dear Suspicious,
If be not everything he says he is you mean he’s a tranny you would be right. Edward has been living half his life as a woman and performs at the he drag show nights at the Tool Shack in Port Angeles. And you know how he’s always skipping school any time it’s “sunny?” It’s not actually because he glitters, it was because he was up late watching the RuPaul’s Drag Race marathon on Oxygen while sketching new costume ideas with Alice. AAANNNDDD you know that whole glittering business? Well that’s no lie, Edward really does sparkle in the sun but it’s because he’s wearing Body Shimmer from Sephora not because of some vampiric side effects.

SO you were right, Edward really isn’t everything he says he is.
XO,
Moon

I think the 5^th book should be called “The Bleeding Rose, The final Chapter of Twilight”
From – A Reader

Dear A Reader,
I think the 5th book should be called “Midnight Sun.” Get in line.
XO,
Moon

There needs to be more action that will make you jump out of your seat, more drama, adventure, romance, more sexy characters. Does anyone know when Stephanie will be signing books and where to meet her?
Billy

Dear Billy,
Maybe you and A Reader can tell Stephenie this at her book signing for: MIDNIGHT SUN. Whenever that will be. Keep your eyes on the prize people!
XO,
Moon

Ain't no thang just reading LTT/LTR/Robsessed/Twifans/BreakingDawnmovie.org/AARP benefits site

Subject: A Grandma’s Desire
Just like all of the fans of the twilight cast My desire is to truly be able to contact them to let them know how we feel about our favorite actor or actress. And to thank Stephenie  Meyer,  for taking the time to write the novel  that sparked life into all our lives. Both women and men. I  happen  to be Team Edward. My desire is to see him in person. I’ve  been  tempted to catch the plane, come out there and share the ground  with my homeless  friend  just for the opportunity to see him, walk the runway or visit on the outside of a site  where he is working. Hoping to catch  sight of him. Sometimes the urge is so great  I’ve called  my  friend to tell  her im  on my way. I don’t  think  I would enjoy sleeping outside in the elements But  if  I knew  that I could see him , I would take the chance. I have little hope now that my friend have lost the car she was sleeping in. I was  counting on furnishing the gas and she would at least drive me around. I watched when fans put up  their tents and envied them, wishing I was there. My children and grandchildren  are embrassed   when  I  talk about Edward and my desire to see him in person. To  hear his voice, see his gorgeous hair. But I would be satisfied just to get a e-mail from him. I tried  to get to Chicago, when he was there its closer to my home. But I got sick. He was on the Oprah show. I sent him a birthday card  to the  show . Hope he got it. hope he e-mail me back, I will be waiting.
All my love,
TwilightGrandma

She's got a used tissue in here for you

Dear Twilight Grandma,
………………………………………………………..

Sorry but my mind is blown. You’ve seriously considered shacking up with your homeless friend in a CAR to stalk Rob? I’m gonna have to go ahead and say THIS is NOT NORMAL. We’ve done and said some weird stuff in our time but this ranks up there. I totally understand the allure of Edward or Rob or whoever you think he is but you’re a grandma. You should be watching reruns of Murder She Wrote, knitting weird sweaters and eating hard candies covered in pocket and tissue lint, not fantasizing about giving your homeless friend gas money in exchange for tracking down “Edward.”
WOW,
Moon

Yes, friends these are REAL emails we’ve received! We couldn’t be more happy and scared each time we log in to our emails. Feeling frisky and want to write us a letter? Have a question? Have an observation? Rereading the Saga? Want to profess your love for Stephenie/Rob/Summit Entertainment? WRITE US!

Now don’t have a case of the Mondays,
Themoonisdown

I almost gave Edward a drag name but then I thought I’d let you guys create it… So have at it in the comments!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

104 Commented

LTT is much more than UC & Moon… err or Twilight, which is what it’s mostly about…

Dear LTTers,

I like writing random, rambling, long blog post titles that mess up your phone if you try to read the letter online or stretch the screen if you use a computer. It’s fun. Especially for Friday. It’s the little things, guys!

Anyway, in keeping with the celebratory tone of our 2 year anniversary, we wanted to share a few short letters we received this week as well as some pics I’ve been hanging on to for a time such as this- submissions by YOU ALL of you & your LTT merch!

Dear Letters to Twilight,

I met my LTT Cosmic Twin!

One fine day, I was cracking up reading the LTT comments when one commenter’s opinions kept catching my attention. We had sooo much in common… in only one day of comments: a love of Twilight, a hint of snark and humor, 3 year old daughters who didn’t sleep the night before, and the same name! (Not to mention a love of Somerhalder, Skarsgard and that cute, little chain smoking monkey-Mr. Robert Pattinson!) I ended up replying to her that I though she was my LTT doppleganger… and that’s how West Coast Stacey (snowwhitedrifted) met East Coast Stacey.

We ended up being pen pals, well email pals nowadays, ’cause who uses pens? Then twitter buds and we realized we were cosmic twins. We became each other’s enablers, writing fan fics as well as a co-authoring a bunch of letters to twilight posts… and now we have a blog to discuss all the juicy goodness of this ridiculous little world we have found. This downward spiral has been one heck of a ride and I’m so glad of it! Thank you, LTT, for the magicness!

-The Staceys
(snowwhitedrifted and East Coast Stacey)

This LTT girl takes a picture with someone familiar looking before heading to feed the alpacas with the snacks she keeps in her LTT girl bag.

UC and Moon, you have helped keep the Twi-love alive. Here’s a pic of me when I went to Port Angeles and Forks this past summer with two Twi-friends, repping LTT with my favorite tote bag ever. We made total fools of ourselves, spending the extra five bucks to stay in the Twilight room at the hotel, and sporting fake wolf pack tattoos for our trip to La Push. Cause that’s Normal.
-kitkat89

The following collection features some fangirling from: Twiwind Night – ICanHandleIt (proudly wearing jorts), VoteMeIn (wearing a Tweed Serious shirt and leg hitching) & EJ

And Cledbo reads printed out fan fiction, rocking her “Fade to Sad” shirt while wearing hot red heels. That’s Normal.

These girls look like they’re in a bar that happens to decorate itself in Twi-photos. Aka a DREAM bar. Or in reality they’re just Tweed Serious at one of their homes, but shhh- I like living in a fantasy world where a bar’s walls are decorated in Edward & Jacob & Rainier Beer is the only thing on tap

KandnandB rocks the I love British Boys book while wearing her “Big in Japan” t-shirt. Ya know, just a normal Friday night

They’re not Bears!!! It’s a muscled Jacob Doll, in a public space. (And a VERY brave girl!)

I’m bothered that snowwhitedrifted’s Bothered shirt is backwards in this picture:

And Obava travels to a far off land & brings her LTT shirt along- we’re so proud! So is her son. (He’s too young to be embarrassed yet!)

These pictures make me so happy! Nothing is more fulfilling than making a bad joke with your friend Moon over instant messenger one night, posting it on a blog the next morning, seeing people’s reaction to said bad joke & then seeing the joke ON a tshirt in a bar, in a foreign land, on a bad, feeding alpacas, embarrassing your families, etc. etc. etc!

Thanks to everyone who submitted pictures recently & so long ago! And I’m sorry if I didn’t put your fake name on here- I had the files saved with your real names & figured you didn’t want those shared.

And in case you missed my comment on Wednesday, I had a horrific day at work and after my 10.5 hour work day, 2 hours driving & when I finally hit the pillow and looked at all the comments on my phone that night, I was so overwhelmed with all your love! I appreciate each & every one of you! I’m being Tweed Serious.

xoxo,
UC

(PS: If you have something from the LTT/LTR store, send us a picture- we’ll feature it eventually!!! And if you don’t own anything- DUDE! Put it on your Christmas list! And snowwhitedrifted made some new designs we’ll be unveiling any day now :) Wearing shirts about vampires & werewolves is normal: Buy some now!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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“Cliff notes” on the (irrelevant) numerous Breaking Dawn Characters

You know what I’ve thought once or 10 times since Breaking Dawn buzz has come pouring out? “I need to re-read or at least review this book so I can have some sort of clue who the H all these new characters are.” But…. that requires work. And I’m all about no work these days. Thankfully, East & West Coast Staceys saved the day & did allllll the research for me!

Dear Breaking Dawn and LTT,

Click

Oh my, those Brazil pictures…you know the ones…Bella and Edward kissing in Latin America looking all adorable. Well this post isn’t about those two, it is about how Breaking Dawn has started and the fun of Eclipse filming has started again. This time around, not only do you have the wolf pack to keep track of, but now all of the new vampires. I had noticed that many of us who comment on LTT are having a hard time keeping track of all of these newbies. This wasn’t a concern for me, it only made sense (That book is HUGE!),  until my partner in crime SnowWhiteDrifted aka West Coast Stacey admitted to me that she didn’t know who Garrett is! What! It was okay that she didn’t know the greatness of Lee Pace (a travesty), but Garrett! I write Talk Supe, with the lady! But I am here to help and school you in the new BD characters. Let’s call it :  Demon Baby University (DBU). Here is WC Stacey (SWD) and I discussing the new friends (and Jenks) of Breaking Dawn.
SWD: It’s so true, East Coast Stacey, I NEED your Cliff Notes version of the Breaking Dawn Characters. I just can’t reread this book. The second half just seemed like assigned reading from Lit class, because I just lost interest after, well, …the huge closet. That was my dream come true (once I realized the “fade to black” was really how it was going to be and I needed to find something else swoonworthy, i.e. the closet).

Garrett and Kate: Let’s start with the important one (to me). He is a patriot vampire. That is to say, he was turned during the Colonial times and is still sporting the ponytail. He is also a new romantic lead for an upcoming book about Garrett and Kate. (Okay, not really, but read this Stephenie and make it happen!)  You see his romance with Kate, was the best part of the second half of the book. (Also a very tiny part, so my imagination might have taken some creative liberties. Darn you fanfiction!) Since, I mentioned her let’s talk about Kate. She is one of Tanya’s ‘sisters’. She has an ‘electric’ personality. Seriously, she shocks people. That’s her power, which makes her cool. Unlike, her sister ‘Tanya’ who it appears to have the power of being slutty. Also, I just like the character of Kate. She seems cool, which is why Team Seth should have gotten the role and invited me to visit her on set so I could meet Lee Pace (Thanks a bunch, Condon. * note sarcasm *)
SWD: Ohhhh, they were from the Alaskan coven, I’m starting to remember (I’m totally lying. And wondering just how much wine was I drinking during my BD reading that I don’t remember a Patriot, I love 18th century dudes! Seriously, look at the $10 bill, Alexander Hamilton is hot… maybe even the original #HotAlex).

The rest of the Alaska Coven:
Tanya: We all KNOW Tanya. Attempted deflowerer of Edward. Seducer of human men. The casting of which many of us are not to wild about. I am attempting to wait and see on this one. She does look cat like.
SWD: I remember her hair description. I remember she has platinum blond hair in that cute Drew Barrymore in Scream cut, right? Or wait am I confusing her with the other one? Ugh which one is in Midnight Sun? Midnight Sun, now that (rocked) sucked! I’d rather (have crows peck out my eyes than) read the extended histories of Casius & Carlisle’s Scarf Tying techniques than the rest of  that (masterpiece) drivel.

Irina: Maggie Grace from LOST is playing this character. This is the sister who turns in the Cullens to the Volturi, because her boyfriend Laurent got ripped apart by the wolfpack. Two thoughts: 1. Wouldn’t be great if Laurent would show up in a flashback and 2. She played Ian Somerhalder’s step sister in LOST! (You knew I had to add him in here somewhere.)
SWD: (*thinks: Smolderholder’s in LOST? Yes, another pop culture phenom I missed.)Yes, we need more Laurent. I want to see more of his Pimp suits.

Eleazer: As previously noted on LTT, he’s being played by Dexter’s Ice Truck Killer. He was very creepy in that. but young looking. I always imagined him looking older and distinguished. Why? Because, Eleazer was the talent agent of the Volturi. Like their own version of Ari from Entourage, finding talented vampires. Hmm…Jeremy Piven might have been an interesting choice.
SWD: Ha ha got it, Ari= Eleazer, Aro= big budget movie franchise

Carmen: Eleazer’s lady. Liked ‘the baby’. Seems to be an Esme type character.
SWD: “Liked” as in “tried to eat”? Or she really just changed diapers and stuff?
EC: All the vampire ladies were itching to get to those diapers. Which I find odd, since I welcome others to do it for me all the time.
SWD: You mean your baby right? You’re not sportin’ the Depends are you?

Get more educated after the jump! Continue…

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