2nd Hand Embarrassment – I Kissed Your Mom, Bella Swan

Dear LTT-ers

Wow just WOW there’s so much 2nd hand Embarrassment in this video I don’t know where to start. I just want to turn it off or look away but these videos are like car crashes you just can’t stop staring in horror at the tangled mess. First off I think someone owes Katy Perry an apology for totally screwing over her song “I Kissed A Girl” cause OF COURSE they changed it to “I Kissed Your Mom” with a Jacob and Bella theme and then added in all kinds of terrible fan art.
Witness the offenses…

fanartbellabike
Yes, if you couldn’t tell this toddler on a motorbike cruising her way through what is obviously Forks, Washington is supposed to be Bella. Nothing says MILF like a bug eyed-anime eyed kid on a Little Tykes trike.

creepyPSjacob
And OF COURSE what embarrassing picture video montage even remotely featuring Jacob is complete without this super creepy totally photoshopped picture. How long has this gross pic been floating around and people are STILL using it. Nice painted on wig, dude.

And I’ve saved the best part of the video for last…

jacobfanart
I don’t know about you all but this is totally how I pictured the imprinting scene going down, complete with heart eyeballs and wolftail! Seriously??!! Come on people! Actually this might belong in Monday Funnies.

Make it stop!!

I kissed your mom and I liked it, her cougar lips invited… her hungry eyes, her quivering thighs… (wtf!)
themoonisdown

Check out the rest of our 2nd hand embarrassment

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Not alright with this New Moon Hair & Makeup Dept.

if I was one of these girls or Jackson, I'd be crying openly

if I was one of these girls or Jackson, I'd be crying openly (click to enlarge if you can handle it)

Dear New Moon Hair/Wig people-

I’ve never been more sad in my life.

This is just NOT alright. I am seriously sad and may think of boycotting you for making Jacksper look this ridiculous. His hair is poofy and NOT CUTE. What did you do wash and set it with sponge curlers ala 5th grade? I mean it must take a lot of work to take a normally great looking guy and make him look like a poodle at the Westminster Dog Show. In fact I think that’s where you must be going to get all the wigs that were in Twilight and now New Moon. Jacob’s half up, half down wig makes him look like a Native American My Little Pony. All he’s missing are the bejeweled eyes.

If this is the hair Jasper has when he kicks butt and draws blood at Bella’s birthday party someone will have to hold me in my seat because I may not be able to help myself. I need a bad ass Jasper taking a swipe at Bella and not some fancy boy with Shirley Temple hair.

I have no more to say about this. I’m going to act as if this never happened. I have my eye on you Wig wranglers!

The end.
Themoonisdown

PS girls in this picture: please do not frame this or make it your profile pic on Facebook. We need to forget this ever happened.

PPS UC, i <3 you and would never give you poodle hair if I was a hair stylist

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We may or may not be excited for New Moon

He works hard for the money... so hard for the money so you better treat him right!

He works hard for the money... so hard for the money so you better treat him right!

Caution: Extreme fangirl letter!

Dear Chris Weitz,

THIS IS WHY WE DO THIS! We blog for moments like today when we saw the ET promo videos for New Moon. Because we LOVE THIS SAGA and THIS is what it’s all about! (Believe it or not, THIS is what we blog for! Not forums, Not comments, Not haters, Not complainers but THIS!) It’s about The Characters! The Story! The Angst!

Is it possible that our fasting and prayers have worked? And that New Moon is going to meet or, gasp, SURPASS our expectations!? (Because if so, please let us know so we can pack a defibrillator to bring with us on opening night!)

Always the Jacob never the Edward

Always the Jacob never the Edward

Could we actually walk away from the theater saying less about how hot Rob was and say more things like “Remember that moment, after Edward leaves, when, in the book it’s 4 blank pages? Wasn’t what Chris did visually to represent that emptiness just perfect?”

And will this theme ring true throughout the whole film:

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.

Edward WHO?

Edward WHO?

Will we feel that pain?

And, OMG, will we actually, seriously contemplate TEAM JACOB?? Because honestly (and don’t tell Rob this) we ARE considering it. (And if we wouldn’t get thrown in jail for thinking it out loud, we’d be considering Taylor too! (we’re still thinking it.. despite the risks- did you SEE that tight thermal he was wearing? GOOD CALL CHRIS!!))

Just from those quick clips, Moon almost broke a window in her office from her freak out. She slapped her desk and yelled stuff out loud. And UC felt JUST like Glow Worm (ya know, the affectionate name we gave the craziest Twilight

Repeat it with me... he is 17... he is 17!

Repeat it with me... he is 17... he is 17!

fan we’ve ever seen. No, we won’t tell you who she is.. it’s too mean). She gasped.. she jumped.. her eyes were wide! She squeed so loud that her husband ran in to find out what was wrong.. and all she said was… JACOB!

And pure WIN during the part when Jacob told Bella he wasn’t giving up- he was wearing a pretty half-ponytail! We want to comb his hair with our “My Little Pony” combs!

This is when we can’t keep it contained- the Fangirl in both of us. There’s nothing we can do to stop it. We can try to pretend all day long that we’re too cool for freak outs.  We can write little sarcastic, snarky blogs, but at the end of the day, when it comes down to it- we’re as nerdy about it as 14 year old girls. And we don’t care anymore. We’re outting ourselves.

We’re gonna let the wild, out of control, Glow Worm-style anticipation begin! We’re gonna stop this “I may or may not like Twilight” shit… We LIKE it. We LOVE it. And That’s Normal

Cannot FREAKIN’ wait for November 20th,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

Entertainment Tonight videos that warranted this wild outburst after the cut!
Continue…

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Monday Funnies, Twilight saga in 16 frames

(In an effort to bring back Monday Funnies I’ve found some comics by Lucy Kinsley to help lighten the mood… cause let’s face it most Monday’s SUCK and who couldn’t use a few laughs to start off the week? So without further adieu…)

Dear LTT gals and guys (yes we have a few Unicorns around these parts)

Have you ever tried to explain the Twilight saga to a super cynical “it’s a story about teen vampires” person or even a friend and somewhere around “Yea he doesn’t come to school on sunny days and she’s all ‘he hates me’ and then he shows her his skin and he sparkles like diamonds in the sun light…” you think, oh crap what am I really reading here? Then this comic should make you LOL just because of the absurdity of it all… then you can tell your friend TRUST ME, JUST READ IT!!

I especially love how she NAILS Breaking Dawn and Jacob as the Werewolf!

Enjoy and God Speed Friday!
Themoonisdown

Clicky to enlarge for maximum LOL's

Clicky to enlarge for maximum LOL's

Comic by: Lucy Kinsley

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2nd Hand Embarrassed – Jacob/Renesmee

Dear Stephenie Meyer-

I’ve always been a little weirded out with the whole Jacob/Renesmee imprinting scenario, never mind how I can NEVER spell “Renesmee” correctly. But that’s a different post for another day. Back to Jacob and Renesmee… seriously though I understand it’s not like a sick-o gross pedi thing and I get that it totally adds another wrinkle to the storyline that make the future possibilities OH SO interesting but STILL.

We’ve all been there, we’ve convinced a friend to read the Twilight saga and they’re WAY into it, then they get to Breaking Dawn and you inevitably get the text late at night that says “JACOB IMPRINTED ON RENESMEE?? WTF!?” And then you have to explain yes, a 17 yr old boy is oddly “in love” with Edward and Bella’s baby.   UH YEA. I find the “I’m unexplainably drawn to love/protect/obsess/someday marry” a baby storyline super weird.com. And bordering on some Dateline NBC shiz.

So when I saw this fanmade video I knew it was gonna be some whacky stuff and it did NOT disappoint.

Please Stephenie, write the Jacob/Renesmee story so I can wash these bad memories out of my brain!

Mildly creeped out…
Themoonisdown

More thoughts after the cut Continue…

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