The New York Post focuses on the important things in their articles about Twilight Fan Fiction

Hey Girl (whatcha’ doin’…?) You’re gonna wanna catch up on the controversy of the Twi Fan fiction being published for real and then read this New York Post article before starting this Part 1 of 3 written by a few anonymous fans:

NYP- we could've told you how hot Twi Fan Fiction makes women YEARS ago #oldnews

Dear New York Post,

So I was emailed this article today. You know the one, don’t act coy. You probably think this is about the metric crap-ton of TMI you made us all wade through to get to anything relevant, and granted, sure I now know way too much about random strangers’ sex lives, and thanks for that, really, because everyone knows you can’t possibly promote explore a work of erotic fiction without stressing again and again and again and again how absolutely horny your subjects are.

No, that wasn’t gratuitous at all.

It’s just that I’m a little confused how a journalist is capable of asking women how horny a book has made them, and capable of hearing about it at length, and capable of actually publishing it, and yet said journalist somehow has a difficult time finding out that said work of fiction originated as a fanwork.

Especially when such upstanding journalists have information such as this at their disposal:

In the fall of 2009, she was just another “obsessed” “Twilight” devotee posting BDSM-themed fan fiction online.

Well, to be fair, that’s maybe not much to go on. You have an author, E.L. James, who used to be involved in fanfiction. It’s not like you could just put that into Google and—

 Oh.

Yeah so, it probably would have been kind of smart to inform your readers that those books they’re shelling out ridiculous amounts of money for is actually the former Twilight fanfiction “Master of the Universe” and can be found online anywhere, anytime, as a pretty exact carbon copy (except the characters’ names). You could have mentioned that all this “success” should really be credited to Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight fanbase, seeing as, without us, this novel would have never been published in the first place.

But no. Apparently, this is not relevant information to your reader, and I get that, I do.

Who on earth would want to read about the exploration of any of the following topics relevant to this story?

  • FanFiction and the Vanity-Publishing Industry
  • Ethics and Literature
  • IP Copyright Laws and How to Completely Ignore Their Existence
  • Offensive Misrepresentations of BDSM Lifestyles
  • Stephenie Meyer Pays Your Bills
  • How the Internet Exposes Plagiarism
  • One time E.L. James Kind of Wrote a Novel and Three Times She Didn’t Actually Bother

You know what we really want to read about!

  • How BDSM makes women like super horny and stuff.

Excellent choice there. The only thing that made this article even more empowering to the very audience you were attempting to target was:

He’s not the only man looking to capitalize on the trilogy.

“A guy friend of mine said he wanted to form a business looking for girls who have ‘just finished the book, before they cool off,’ ” says Brod. 

So… that happened. And thanks for publishing for this, especially, as we all know by now that any journalistic exploration of Twilight and girls and girls liking Twilight and girls enjoying sex or any kink at all, just isn’t complete without a couple creepy dudes being quoted as stressing their desire to capitalize on it in the skeeviest fashion imaginable.

Instead of tackling a very controversial and significant topic, you chose to emphasize women’s sexuality, and you didn’t even do that right? I wish I were more surprised, but frankly terrible journalists made females lose faith in media long before Snow E. Queen L. Icy James Dragon discovered the secret to becoming a real writer:

Step 1. Write Edward and Bella having a lot of bad sex.
Step 2. Wait until it gets popular in the Twilight community.
Step 3. ???
Step 4. Profit!

The only thing worse than seeing the media fawn over what a complete success story this truthfully badly written series has become, is that you completely fail to mention the source of the popularity, and maybe in  some cases, completely sweep it under the rug. This series isn’t successful because E.L. James is an amazing writer; I think this has been established, even in your coverage. And, news flash: it isn’t even successful because it’s got a lot of sex and offensive misrepresentations of kink.

Let’s not shit ourselves here.

This series is successful because it was introduced to an existing, flourishing audience under the false pretense of a peer to peer relationship with a community devoted to Twilight, Stephenie Meyer, and Edward and Bella—definitely not because E.L. James wrote something so magnificent that all us sex-starved women can’t help ourselves.

To be continued….
Fandom Anonymous

Oh so what do YOU think?

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