Taylor Lautner on SNL… what shall we say…

Wait, I think I see a funny skit over there...

Dear Taylor,

Now you know I love ya something fierce (most days) and think of you and Taylor Swift as my own personal Disney Prince and Princess but when the nicest thing I can say about SNL is that you really can rock a wig… that’s probably not good. Now, before I get more than my daily share of hate mail I gotta say there were a couple shining moments in your episode of SNL…

  • Your opening monologue! Showing the VMA clip where you just stood there doing nothing while Kanye trampled all over your sweeties moment was all kinds of hilarious

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.4202356&w=425&h=350&fv=]
round house kick…

  • Those pre-roll photos they show of the host before the skit. Those were HOT sauce and should be added to some museum for creepy women older than you to enjoy

Oh hey hey heeeeey!

  • The wigs. How is it that you can pull off a blond wig, a floppy McDonalds arches mid 90s wig, an emo wig and a freaking crimped and braided teenage girl wig? Does it worry you any that compared to most other teenage boys you look pretty natural in  long girly hair? And most importantly does it worry you that a TV show has access to better wigs than a movie with a multi-million dollar budget has?

Nice rack!

See what else was win, what sucked and what certain red head country star made a cameo after the cut

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New Moon: The Hits and the Misses, Moon’s review part 1

The claw is in the details

Dear New Moon, LTT-ers and anyone ever in the world involved with this,

After seeing New Moon for the third time (obviously I’m not a true fan as my viewing number is not in the teens at this point) I think I can safely start to review the film with a discerning eye. I’m finally past the freak out/totally in awe/blinded by the abs stage and ready to give this a whirl and put my thoughts on virtual paper.

I think the key phrase for New Moon is: “The devil’s in the details” and Chris Weitz must have made a deal with the devil, like Rob did, because he nails it. From the very first shot of Bella waking up next to the tattered copy of Romeo and Juliet with the cover that looks an awful lot like Voltera, I knew we were in for a great ride courtesy of someone who “got it.”

While on the whole I think New Moon is light years ahead of Twilight in terms of the overall product and as my brother (in the industry and knows a thing or two) says Twilight looks like “student film” where they cut a lot of corners by being lazy instead of creative whereas New Moon is actually a total product with a vision and a pay off. New Moon is definitely not without it’s faults, and you know us here at LTT we love a good fumble (Buttcrack Santa, Spider Monkey?) so…

Let’s examine some of the hits and misses of New Moon the movie…

This scene kills me EVERY time

Jacob/Taylor Lautner
This guy actually showed up and ACTED! He had emotions, they were complex and interesting. He emoted with his face and body and didn’t rely solely on blinking, stuttering or squinting to show how much pain you’re feeling to even be near your “la tua cantante.” Did I really just use that phrase? Apparently so. Just imagine it said in Aro/Micheal Sheen’s creepo voice. Not only did he emote well he made the audience laugh. Of the three times I’ve seen it men in the audience seem to react the best to Jacob, laughing at his jokes and generally just relating. My favorite line of his? “Don’t get me upset, this will get very ugly!” Bra-freakin-vo Taylor Lautner! Big Daddy, take this kid out for a McRib but hurry they’re only back for a limited time!

Let’s see who can run the slowest and dazzle the mostest!! AND GO!

Future Bella as a vampire/Edward sequence
The slow-mo running, the khaki Anne of Avonlea outfits, the SLOW MOTION running?! Cheese with a capitol C. I get the reason behind the slow-mo which is better than Cathi’s half assed special effects way of making them run super fast but all 3 times I’ve seen it (yes, including opening night) people laughed.

More hits and misses more biker gangs more LSD trips more awesomeness after the cut!


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Step right up to the Circus sideshow: Twilight Tattooed Freaks!

Dear Twi-hards,

Your enthusiasm, commitment and devotion to this saga continues to baffle and amaze me. Though I’m probably up there in terms of  enthusiasm, heck I blog about this EVERY day, I don’t know if my enthusiasm comes anywhere close to some fans I’ve seen. We all show our love for Twilight in different ways, passing the books on to a friend so they can become addicted (aka spreading the virus so you’re not alone!), creating your own New Moon trailer with your creepy husband while the cat wonders wtf is going on, or even getting a Twilight inspired tattoo. Now the Twi-tatt is by far the highest level of commitment out there and not for the faint of heart or SHY. I mean you’re going to be stuck with this thing for the rest of eternity and will forever be explaining why you have a tattoo of a shriveled up tulip on your boob of the face of a guy who kinda looks like Jimmy Neutron lost in the shire on your bicep.

The great thing about Twi-Tatts is that most will inevitably be some sort of embarrassing and if we’re (meaning those of us who love and make fun of the twi-dom on a daily basis) lucky; awesomely terrible! So in honor of Monday Funnies let’s take a gander at some Twi-tatts that somehow went very verrrry wrong.

The Cullen family crest- this is a big offender in my book because it’s not even official, it’s from the movie! That’d be like getting the quote “hold on tight spider monkey” or a portrait of Buttcrack Santa (my dream tatt).
Grandma’s gonna be so confused when you get married… “but honey, I thought Steve’s last name was Steverson, not Cullen. Who is this Cullen boy?”

Goes great with your Chico’s capris

Next up we have the popular quote-style tattoos where folks get their favorite passage tattooed on intimate body parts. With Stephenie Meyer being such a great writer I can see why you’d want those words around forever. Heh. Most people get the obvious stuff: “be safe” “and so the lion fell in love with the lamb” etc. If it was me I’d probably something like “I had an adrenaline rush, you can google it!” or my fave Carlisle quote: “Animal attack!” (RIP Grisham Mill Worker)

This is a classic case of I WANT IT ALL but I can’t decide so let’s just cram as much from the saga on my arms and see what happens. All we’re missing is a passage about the Spanish Influenza or a detailed description of Bella’s room.

Well if you’ve gone this far, why not a whole chapter?

Now, while I love this quote and the sentiment, it looks like it’s been etched into a T-Bone steak or a leg of lamb not exactly what I’d call romantic, unless raw red meat is your thing.

Next let’s traipse into the logo/book cover area of the Twilight tattoos… and as much as I love the covers as the next person I’m pretty sure I don’t want some chess pieces on my body… besides I can’t even play chess!
Oh looks it’s a Twilight tree… let’s crack it open and count the rings.

In case you forget “Be Safe!” Oh and don’t forget to water your flowers, they start drooping if you don’t. FYI.

And now for the ultimate… the portrait tattoo… now anyone who knows tattoos know that portraits are the most difficult and need to be done by professionals… and well I’ll let you be the judge of these next few…

I’ve always wanted a tattoo of a 12 yr old looking stuttering girl and an alien on my shoulder

And now for my favorite…
Jimmy Neutron Cullen, Hobbit from the Shire is your life now. If this was supposed to BE Robert Pattinson AS Edward Cullen than someone needs a refund. And laser removal surgery.

Now these folks are committed, there’s NO doubt about that… but what I really want to see is a Cora the waitress or a Solomon Trimble tattoo… now THAT’s devotion!

Off to get my LTT tattoo! Aka a Big Daddy Portrait!

Sources: Reader submitted pics, NewMoonMovie.org, Flickr, Google Image Search, Twilighters Anon

What is IT about Robert Pattinson? Watch us try to figure it out.
Dude, don’t let your fellow sisters in the LTT/LTR sorority down, read more and submit your Rob Porn!
As always up-to-the-minute good times and discussion over at The Forum!

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The Twilight Museum of Art

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s Monday and I couldn’t be happier to celebrate this glorious, beautiful sun shiny day! I spent all yesterday thinking about how much I couldn’t wait for Monday, my favorite day of the week, and to share with you all the awesome pieces of Twilight art I’ve been collecting… it’s like a virtual museum of all the best artists in the world on my hard drive right now!

Now sit back and enjoy this joyous Monday!


click to enlarge and enjoy the beauty!

When I look into Alice’s eyes I can really see the soul of her character… it’s almost like she’s seeing the future and the artist just happened to catch it on paper

click to enlarge and enjoy his true beauty

click to enlarge and enjoy his true beauty

I’m glad Edward’s true self has been captured for all the world to see. It was so obvious in the books that Edward was really a make up artist waiting to break free and show his love of MAC’s “Russian Red” lipstick. Sometimes it just takes a talented artist to bring a characters true self out

To continue this tour of the best art in the world take the cut!

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