All the Twilight news that’s fit to print – Unicorns and lots of BooBoo’s

Dear LTT-ers,

There comes a time every few weeks or so that we have to do a news dump because there’s simply too much news and not enough letters in the day. So here’s all the news we think you should know about but couldn’t cover.

Extra, Extra, Read all about it!
Themoonisdown

  • Our BFF Ashley Greene gets a Twitter and proceeds to lull us to sleep with tweets of her sleeping habits and stories of buying dog food. There’s something to be said about keeping the mystery, isn’t there? Love you BFF!
  • Dude, Xavier did you forget what I told you to say if Jackson invited you to a 100 Monkeys show!? Did he not think you were deaf or sick with food poisoning? In other news, HIGH FIVE for going with Ashley, maybe you’ll be the lucky SOB to finally figure out she’s a hot piece, while the rest of that numbnuts cast wonders why they don’t have a girlfriend, or why theirs smells of grease.
  • Both Melissa Rosenberg and Justin Chon dish that Eclipse will be a much “darker” film. No really? This is the book in that saga that contains the story of Jasper’s shady past, killing innumerable people, the turning and training of a newborn vampire army, the rape of Rosalie at the hands of her fiance, and fight training all culminating in arguably the saga’s most satisfying moment of conflict: the battle. So “dark,” you say? NO DUH!
Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

  • New Moon Action figures go on sale at Hot Topic. Is it just us or does Jacob look a little “special” in the face?
  • Little Jacky is photographed with a boo-boo (not the kid playing Seth) Tuesday. No one knows whether it was his hand, his head or that terrible wig that was injured. I’m hoping he broke his hand after punching out the wig department after he saw his reflection in the mirror. Jackson Rathbone-r: kicking ass and NOT taking names!
  • Little BooBoo Stewart gets his first tattoo! Awww, they grow up so fast, don’t they? How friggin cute is this kid?!

Follow the cut for more news, shirtless Kellan and Jackson the Unicorn!
Continue…

Add Comments


Holy jacked up New Moon poster, Batman

Dear New Moon movie poster designer,

I just saw the Edward/Bella version of the New Moon poster and I gotta say it’s kinda janky. So I gotta ask, was this a rush job? Gotta get something to print so Hot Topic and Walmart have shiz to sell to the tweens? That can really only be the answer because as you’ll see below I’ve broken down the poster from a designers perspective since I used to be one myself. Seriously, what’s with the size of Edward’s head, it’s like twice the size of Bella’s. I mean sure actors have big noggins but this looks either blown up way out of proportion to his body or you jacked this head from another picture and inserted it into this one because it worked better. Which is all fine and dandy but use the transform command a little more wisely next time and the rulers. You didn’t need to use a movie poster as your way of saying Rob/Edward has a huge ego! You could have left his fly down or something. Duh.

jackedupNewMoonPoster01

So since you may have copy and pasted a different head onto this body, why didn’t you just do the same with his hand? Cause as it stands he looks like he’s got “The Claw” happening, like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar. That was a comedy, this is not. Well at least I hope I’m not laughing for all the wrong reasons on November 20th.

And then lastly can we talk about doing a little research? Cause by definition “New Moon” is actually the absence of a moon or rather the inability to see one and yet there it is. In the background like some cheesy clip art you pulled from Microsoft Publisher 1995 and threw a drop shadow on.

Wasn’t Taylor lockjaw and Bella’s slutty shirt and Eddie’s van enough the first time around? I’m looking forward to what you have up your sleeve for Eclipse. Maybe a 10 foot Werewolf dismembering a newborn?

Ok so did I nerd out enough on this one? Did I lose you with all the design nerdery and most importantly am I the only one who noticed that?

Happy Sunday!
Themoonisdown

Add Comments


Storytime with Moon – Comic Con in review

Dear LTT-ers

As you all know Thursday I was able to attend the 2nd coming of Jesus, aka the New Moon panel at Comic Con and I have a little (ok, it’s quite long) story to share with you! So that means it’s story time with Moon!

Sit back relax grab your poison of choice (mine’s a diet coke as the CC folks learned) and let’s get to it!

XO
Moon

Once the news came out that there would in fact be a New Moon panel and presentation at Comic Con the California LTT/LTR gals KNEW we had to be there, come hell or high water. And trust, there was a lot of hell and a lot of high water. But finally tickets were secured and plans made for several groups of Cali gals to converge on Comic Con last Thursday…

Making up part of the LA/OC group Chelsea and I headed down to San Diego Wednesday afternoon to meet up with our SD gals to plot, plan and scheme how we would make this happen. By Wednesday morning there were already reports of 100-ish Twihards in line and by the time we reached San Diego that evening a reported 500 were now in line. So we jumped in the car with VickyB and headed down to scope out our competition…

hallhoutside
The sign pointed us towards heaven on earth

tentcity
An impromptu little tent city of Twihards set up on the outside of Hall H. Since we knew there was no point in waiting in line over night at this point and in all honesty we didn’t want to (we just wanted to be in the room not in the front row), we honked and continued on in search of food and good times

hustler
Since we were going to be seeing Rob the next day we first stopped off to get some slutty outfits for our Comic Con Preparedness Kits. No Cullen crest or Team Jacob shirts for us. It was hooker lucite heels, cootchie cutter shorts and whips that we were looking for!

Let me tell you the rest of the story… after the cut!
Continue…

Add Comments


The Inevitable New Merchandise for New Moon

Dear Twi-hards,

With the release of New Moon fast approaching (146 days!), it was only a matter of time before the machine started rolling out new merchandise for fans to buy. After all Hot Topic almost single handedly saved the economy back in February. And we really can’t be losing anymore mall stores. Where else will I find my neon green tutu’s, Mario Brothers shirts and gothic parasols?  I mean, there goes my whole wardrobe, right? But never fear we’re just now getting a glimpse of the goodies to come that might just save the entire United States economy. Fingers crossed.

shirt

WOOOOOWWW just in case you wanted to go hunting and be camouflaged but also show how much you love Twilight, we have this lovely shirt. To our country friends, this will look nice while you’re out hunting deer with Jethro and the boys and if you’re lucky enough you’ll be wearing this on the next season of Red Neck Weddings!

NMdeskcalendar
Don’t you hate it when you’re at work and just about to close the BIG deal and can’t remember what date it is? I know I do! But after I get this handy little desk calender I can look confidently at the client and say, why yes it IS exactly one month and 3 days till my life is complete and New Moon comes out October 17th! Thank God I had this calendar or we couldn’t have made this million dollar deal! Great doing business with you!

barbiedolls
So Barbie Bella and Ken Edward dolls are like the complete antithesis of Malibu Barbie and Ken. Instead of tans they have pale, sparkly skin. Instead of the pink corvette Bella has the broke down beater truck. Instead of skin bearing bikini’s and swim trunks it’s coverage from head to toe. And instead of a Dream House on the beaches of Malibu, it’s a middle class house in rainy Forks, Washington. My only question is: what about the Bob Mackie designed raincoats and the Quielute addition to the “Barbies Around the World” collection? Mattel, you totally dropped the ball on this one!

nmlipvenom
Lip Venom, guys really? I remember this stuff from like Seventeen Magazine in the 90s. It was supposed to plump up your lips to give it that “bee stung” look. The whole concept is off, first of all who wants to be stung when putting on lip gloss? And not surprisingly the product failed and went away. But now that Vampires are the hip thing, why not trot this little diddy out again but with a new spin: Plump your lips up with the venom of a vampire! Close your eyes, dream a little dream, click your heels together and say “there’s no place like Forks” and wait for the magic of the venom to turn you into an immortal. Then you and Edward can be together forever, cause we know that’s what you dream about. Seriously, we know. We watched the movie.

When are we gonna get a Jacob action figure? Or a temporary vampire bite tattoo? Or an official Charlie Swan stick on Mustache?

Would you buy any of this?
Themoonisdown

Don’t forget to vote in the Wanna Tappa Vampa (our fake sorority) and the Twi Sisterhood’s PORN OFF! EVERY VOTE COUNTS!! Yes we can!

Read our review of Rob in The Bad Mother’s Handbook at LTR
Chat about it in The Forum!

Add Comments


Pledging to LTT

Dear LTT Pledges,

The Twilight Sisterhood has been having pledge month this June & we thought of how amazing it would be if we did that here at LTT.

We’re pretty easy-going Sisters, and we only require one task from the following list of initiations to be achieved in order to be accepted into our sorority:

  • Yep, make him take off the monkey costume & run around nude with him

    Yep, make him take off the monkey costume & run around nude with him

    Streak naked at a 100Monkey’s show and get Marty, the bananager, to join you. Yell “JASPER” at the top of your lungs the entire time.

  • Eat only Twilight conversation hearts for breakfast lunch and dinner ’till you’re rushed to the hospital with sudden onset diabetes.
  • Insist that all band aids you receive while AT the hospital be Hot Topic Twilight band aids.
  • Head on over to a neighboring sorority or frat and rip a tree (roots intact) out of the ground while screaming “AS IF YOU COULD FIGHT ME OFF.”
  • Act out chapter 32 of Wide Awake fan fiction with a male friend, at a church pot luck. In a park. Against a tree. (yep, it’s that chapter)
  • Read the mind of the hottest guy at work or school & write down his thoughts in Edward’s calligraphy (And if his thought happens to be “Be Safe”- you’ll get something extra special. Like Sam Bradley’s email address)
  • Run miles around a high school wearing a gray peacoat only stopping when you see a van approaching. Stop it with your hand, even if it’s just pulling into a parking spot, safely.
  • Invite & successfully get Kristen Stewart to join you at a Nascar race where you will ALSO need to have a mullet, like she currently has, and drink Pabst Blue Ribbons until you strip off your clothes and do a ho photoshoot on Dale Jr’s hood (that’s what she said).
  • Buy a Volvo. Drive from New York to Forks, WA in 12 hours or under while making home-made mushroom ravioli (I don’t wanna hear that this is impossible to do while driving. Figure it out)
  • Kill, filet & bread a mountain lion in Harry Clearwater’s famous fish fry (fine- if you can’t find Harry’s fish fry, you can use whatever your local market sells)
Good luck and may the best pledges win!
Love your favorite sisters,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
Thanks to: Kristen, EastFriend, WestFriend & Moon, for without you I would have to stay up much later
a secret message about how rob will love you forever if you pick our name
Name our sorority: We’re serious. We want a name for our sorority. Even though it’s kinda a pretend sorority. Who cares. Name contest happening NOW. Leave your ideas in the comments. Winner gets automatic entrance into this kinda fake, but sorta real sorority. And first crack at Rob at our first frat/sorority mixer.
a secret message about how rob will love you forever if you pick our name
Introducing: Blurbs from the Forum topic Mods.
We had some weird forum issues this week. Kristin emailed and said this:
Good news is though, my whole gateway 504 issue is resolved! I was apparently riding the techno short bus…now I’m all up to speed and I even get to have recess with the normal kids! yay!
and Calliope, who apparently did not have the same “Gateway 504″ issues with the forum said this:
this is me shaking my head up and down and smiling at you and pretending to have even the slightest effing clue as to what you are talking about while i’m mentally undressing rob.
a secret message about how rob will love you forever if you pick our name
What’s going on in our world? The following:
  • Rob has a question for us over on LTR
  • The Forum is buzzing with activity. Wanna see why? Check it
  • Follow us on Twitter & help us get to 2,000 followers this weekend!
  • Lauren from Lauren’s Bite is hosting a give-away. GO WIN
  • I have a wedgie so far up my butt I’m not sure it’s ever gonna come out (not true- just seeing if anyone reads this far…..crickets….)

Add Comments


Previous Entries Next Entries

Creative Commons License


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0
United States License
.

LTT Privacy Policy



Sponsored by