Shh, we've got a secret to share… and it might involve Jacob Black

Who are you people?

Who are you people?

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Team Edward members-

I’ve got a secret that I’ve been hiding for a while. It’s not something I tell other people I usually hide it away and tell people what they want to hear cause really who wants to hear this dirty tale? No it’s not an addiction to Rob Porn and no I’m not hitting the sauce or smokin’ the mary jane, and no I haven’t turned into a crazy Pattinson Pants wearing Twihard. Nope it’s an entirely different secret all together.

But I couldn’t handle the secret anymore… I just had to share with someone else and risk ostracizing myself because I couldn’t take it anymore! So I asked UC to sit down and brace herself cause what I was about to reveal was quite heavy. And what ensued reads like two addicts discussing their secret tendencies for the bad stuff…

Moon: i picked up NM again
Moon: bella said “holy crow” in the part i read last night
Moon: im having team jacob tendencies but i think its cause i havent read about edward in forever
UC: i’ll be honest… i’m loving him these days too
UC: i dunno why
Moon: seriously, I’m so glad you said that!! I felt like an outcast!
UC: i dunno why… but we are

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

OK OK OK!!! Yes, I’m secretly loving Jacob and I can’t stop. Don’t look at me that way, I can see your disappointed eyes through this letter! So why is that? Why do we feel like we’ve betrayed Edward? And why is Jacob looking like such a possibility these days? Do we have a classic case of the wandering eye? Have we gotten a little too comfortable in our love for Edward that seeing Jacob again shines a new light on the situation? I feel like initially you’re so blinded by how lovely, and beautiful, and hot, and perfect  Edward is that Jacob just comes off like my good buddy from gym class. But now that we’ve been going steady for a while, you start to look around a little and see Jacob again and notice that he’s not only your pal but actually that amazingly hot, nice guy who might be the quarterback of the football team that you overlooked in your initial Edward-lust.

Omg, is it November yet?

Omg, is it November yet?

And I’m sure seeing Taylor at Comic Con didn’t help, nor did those picture of him with Taylor Swift, or that official picture from the set of him and Kristen in the truck, or reading the part in New Moon where he jumps into her window to tell her he’s trying to “keep his promise” or the part where Bella chooses to let him drive away after she spots Alice. So what’s a girl to do when she’s questioning her team allegiance?

Well… how about question it some more, keeping reading New Moon, count down the days till New Moon is released and OD on some Taylor and wonder if Team Edward will ever forgive me…

We’re not cheating on you Edward, we just want you to know you have some serious competition!

XO
Themoonisdown

PS I just figured out I’m almost 10 years older than Taylor. That’s just wrong and also weird that I never realized that before.

Get over to Letters to Rob to read about what UC think’s Rob is doing right now
Switch to Team Jacob in the Forum and don’t feel bad about it!

Pics from someplace I can’t remember and Lion & Lamb Love

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Where are you Nikki Reed?

Have you seen this girl?

Have you seen this girl?

Dear Nikki,

Monday when I was writing that post about Drunk emailing and how much would it cost to get a Twi star at your party, I was reviewing the list and kept wondering who I left out and then it dawned on me: I left out YOU! And so that’s why I wrote “Nikki – WHO?” Cause seriously girl where the h-word are you?! I’m kind of actually doing a Mom Moon and worrying about you and where you’ve been and how you’re doing. If I wanted to pull a real Mom Moon I’d start calling the LAPD, and area LA Hospitals to see if you’ve turned up. Cause it’s July 14th at 5am in Los Angeles, “Do you know where your Nikki Reed is?” Cause I sure as crap don’t.

So of course it got me thinking… where in the world could you be? And what are you doing? I checked IMDB and the only thing you have current is in pre-pro and that’s K-11 and we KNOW that ain’t filming right now and it might even be up in the air if you’re even still in it, especially if that whole KStew falling out rumor is true.

So then I checked to see if you have any fansites cause if anyone knows what’s up with Twi stars it’s their fans! Can I get an amen? And I find out no one’s updated in about a week. That isn’t good news. Then I hit Twitter, cause that’s all the latest and greatest and guess what all (read 2) fan twitters hadn’t updated in days either. Not even your FAKE twitter counterpart has cared enough to tweet about your fake goings on in over a week!

So it’s left me only a couple options as to where you’ve been…

  • You were driving to LAX one day, took and wrong turn and got lost in south central LA and were jumped into one of the local gangs… crips or bloods? I’d say crips cause you look better in blue than red. If this is true call us maybe we can initiate a trade off with the crips. You for Justin Chon or maybe they want someone beefier like Christian Serratos?
  • You’ve become a hermit spending all your time online at Nike.com designing more ridiculous neon high top sneakers than you know what to do with. My advice? Trash them all and get a nice pair of ballet flats.
  • This whole Oregano thing is true and you’ve chosen him over KStew. WOW if that’s true I really want the dish! Give me the gossip now! And so you two are hanging out at Cathy’s house, smoking up and worming your way into whatever movie she’s doing next. I wish I knew Cathy, I’d love to be an actress.

Take the cut to find out what Nikki’s REALLY been up to. TRUST it’s SOOO good!
Continue…

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French New Moon to be noticably sexier!

Dear Non-French speaking LTT-ers,

The trailer for New Moon in French was recently released and I’m sad to say our version pales in comparision. No, no there are no new scenes or added dialogue or anything that’s noticably different from the English language version. In fact nothing’s different beside the fact that the dialogue is in French.

Now I don’t know if this is just an American thing or what but shiz like English accents and boys who speak hot languages like French are automitcally sexier than their average no accent having male counterparts even if they’re the biggest nerds to walk the planet. Case in point: that Rob Pattinson guy.

UC and I watched the French trailer together (surprise, we do nothing alone. Not even pee. I call her on the phone on my way to the bathroom) and we have to say we’re thouroughly impressed with this French version. Imagine the time and effort it took them to not only learn French but also film the movie TWICE in English and French! And even more amazing is the fact that even though French isn’t their first language it’s delievered better than their English language version!

Ok, ok we kid… it’s Sunday and we’re extra silly on Sundays so here’s what we really said when discussing the French trailer and as you’ll see we derail at the end… as all our conversations do. Oops

moon: So what about this French version of the New Moon trailer? Thoughts?
uc: oh yes… it’s HOT. why does it sound so hot!?
moon: Jheycaaaob NOOO (thats my french voice online)
moon: its all the breathy voices and french words
moon: you know the real french dude who does edwards lines is really a fat old balding creepy French dude
uc: hahahaha seriously
uc: telling all the ladies at the bar that he’s the sexy french voice of edward cullen
moon: thats his pick up line when in actuality he looks like amanDUH’s husband
uc: YES!!!! he sooo does! it IS amanduh’s husabnd
uc: she’s banking on his success to launch her carrer
moon: she wants to be the french bella. but french bella is actually cathy hardwicke’s grandma
uc: hahahaha
uc: did you SEE the black tshirt pics moon?
uc: so freaking hot
  the Vneck!
  the ARMS!?
  a slight TAN!?
  the BUTTONS?
  oh yeah
moon: YES! the v neck
 the pants the button fly
moon: i really want to rip the buttons open
moon: wait, what were we talking about?

Enjoy French Edward!
Themoonisdown

Don’t forget our special place just for Rob goodness
The Forum

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Speculation Thursday – Moon makes the case for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: NOT together!

We're actors

We’re actors

Dear Kristen and Rob-

Last week my pal UC put on a brave face, sucked up her pride and posted the Speculation Thursday (though it was on Wednesday) post that she thought you may be together. As much as it pained both of us to see that in writing, we had to present the Pro Robsten side of the argument. But never fear, I am here with this week’s Speculation Thursday (on Thursday!) where I’m going to present the Non Robsten side! Cause I look at you two and I’m like, they CANNOT be together, the stoner and the nerd? No way.

If you’ll indulge me I’d like to treat this as a trial, and court is now in session*! The honorable Stephenie Meyer proceeding. Today we will be hearing the case of:

Robsten vs NonRobsten, in the court of public opinion

Opening statement:
Much has been said and speculated about you two over the last few weeks and now having some time to gather evidence and look at the facts I think we can be certain about a few things: Kristen and Oregano are not together and Kristen and Rob are in fact, NOT together. Snogged and hooked up? Sure! But together? No! I ask that the jury keep an open mind as we speculate our way through another Thursday.

Enter into the court room the Evidence…

 

01. The Charlie Hotel / The Morning After – UC cited this story and these pictures as her main turning point. But I have a different take on this much bally-hooed “secret goodbye photos” and “secret rendezvous hotel bungalows” nonsense… I did some research too on The Charlie and there are multiple bungalows in which bungalows also have multiple rooms! Amazing how this works, huh? It’s not uncommon for stars to get ready for awards shows in hotel rooms, Summit’s footing the bill, why not? And you’ve got the room paid for for the night, might as well come back and party after the show, right? I know where you’re going to go with this: “but Moon they were in the SAME bungalow! Ron, the underpaid dude at the front desk, told the shady paparazzo from X17 who palmed him a 50 it was true.” Riiiight. And, if I even believe that they were in the same bungalow, my research tells me that again, SURPRISE, there are bungalows with more than one room in them. I’ve stayed in rooms with guy friends, it’s totally possible. And who knows maybe she was wasted drunk from the dinner beforehand when they decided to go back and party? Maybe they smoked a bol and she passed out on that cute striped chair from the pictures of The Charlie. And then the next day her Mom came to pick up her hung over self and hug Rob for being such a good guy and looking out for poor little Kristen. And no kiss was ever photographed.

Follow the cut to hear the rest of the case!!! (Seriously do it!)
Continue…

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Sunday Morning Worship – Girls of Twilight

Dear LTT Worshipers (mostly the dudes today!) and ladies of Twilight-

In light of all the recent brouhaha over the  release of the Wolfpack official picture, the ET promo clips where we swooned hardcore over Jacob, the whole Jackson and the bat thing and well of course our main squeeze Rob we thought we’d spend this Sunday fawning over the ladies of Twilight. After all we thought it was time to throw you guys a bone for putting up with all our crazy fangirl-ness.

Really can we blame you? These ladies are HOT and deserved to be drooled over… so dear Sunday morning worshipers join with me and sing the praises of the ladies of Twilight…

rachellebluetop
Oh Rachelle how we love thee… and covet your beautiful red hair… trust me I ask for this color every time I sit down in the stylists chair. But no one can pull it off quite like you do! You’re like the classy girl everyone wanted to be in college but somehow couldn’t achieve.

nikkireedblack

Ohhh Nikki… there’s just something about you. Something just under the surface that I can never quite figure out. You seem like the girl that’s friends with all the boys and pals around with them. And I gotta love and respect that cause I’m the same way. I kinda hate to admit it but I feel like if we ever really knew each other we’d be friends cause we’re too similar not to be.

elizabethreaser
Elizabeth Reaser, we don’t talk enough about you here but you bring just that extra touch of class that this production needs. You ARE Esme and we love you for that. Oh and we totally think Rob had a thing for you at the Vanity Fair photoshoot. Seriously, watch the tapes and look at the pics. Just saying…

salute
This one’s for you Armyunicorn! A salute from KStew to you! This probably has to be one of my top 2 favorite pictures of Miss Stewart. It not only showcases her underlying beauty that she usually keeps under wraps but is also one of the most kickin’ wardrobe choices for her. THE SHOES, please! Ok, sorry I know this is for the menfolk, sorry. Look at those stems!

vintageashleyfur
Ashley! What else is there to say about our BFF but hot damn?! And we seriously don’t know what is wrong with the boys of Twilight that they haven’t snatched you up yet. Seriously! Oh and to one of our other Unicorns Jordan, this one’s for you!

Happy Sunday… as you leave please remain mindful of those who wish to stay and worship a little while longer!
Themoonisdown

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