Dear Jackson (and other Twilight cast members as a cautionary tale),
So is this the part of this whole post Twilight thing where it’s starts getting sad and awkward or is THIS a joke?
Cause seriously honey, if it isn’t I’m SO sad right now. Like maybe you were doing this for a friend or you were having fun on a weekend but I’m not sure whoever is marketing this knows that. I’m also pretty sure someone shot this on their iPhone, right? I’m shaming myself but I’m pretty sure one of those 100 Monkey’s guys (or his evil twin) is an actor in this and that makes me think Zombie Hamlet was the ultimate downfall of 100 Monkeys and now we all know who to
thank blame for that tragedy.
Was Zombie Hamlet really the shitty straw that broke the camels/100 Monkey’s back? Was even Sheila embarrassed that you had done this “favor for a friend” that she had to put her foot down and insist the band break up? I mean she’s pretty much the Yoko of the 100 Monkey’s even though like NO ONE cares and it’s sacrilegious that I even use a Beatles reference in the same breath as your old band. So maybe Zombie Hamlet has taught us that we owe Sheila a muffin basket or a thank you gift cards to Hot Topic so she can get some more Manic Panic and the Betty Page story so she can buy some more vintage knock off rock-a-billy dresses.
OMG ZOMBIE HAMLET IS A REAL THING!!! This is not a joke people, I just IMDB-ed that and it has an actual profile. JACKSON! I sure hope whatever Agent still takes your calls after Airbender has a favor left with the people at IMDB and can get your name removed from this ASAP. Oh and don’t think I didn’t see your headshot on IMDB. Really????
Jackson… remember the good times? Remember when we just wanted to not hear you talk and watch you play with you bat? Ahem. Remember when Jasper didn’t look crazy? Remember how my LTT Forum signature still has gifs of YOU (and Rob)? Let’s go back to those times… let’s go back to you not making questionable choices like Zombie Hamlet.
To do this movie or NOT to do this movie, that is the question… you should ALWAYS ask yourself.
PS Are you a dad yet??
Really people, is this a joke? Are we now in that twilight of uh… Twilight and we’re going to be seeing a lot more Zombie Hamlets from z list Twilight’s? Who’s definitely going to Netflix this so you can laugh HARD when it goes straight to DVD?