Happy 4th of July from the Twilight gang

flying-flagDear LTT readers,

The crew over at the Cullen house asked us to pass along their tips & advice to enjoy the best Independence Day possible!

(If you’re not from the US and not celebrating the holiday today, you could still take to heart these words of wisdom)

Carlisle: Practice safety while using fireworks. The 4th of July is the most dangerous holiday in the US due to misuse of fireworks. Most loss of limbs could be prevented- it is due to stupid mistakes from people not following instruction (When it’s not due to stupid mistakes, it’s usually the fault of my son, Jasper, but I don’t write that on the medical report)

Esme: If you don’t want to cook Italiano, try my favorite recipe. All the Cullens love it on special occasions. Hunt a fresh mountain lion and a fresh grizzly bear. Track them down, stalk them, pounce and then kill them. Drag them back to the family house and then drink the blood. Sprinkle with love and stir in good times.

Rosalie: When I was a human, I celebrated 4th of July every year by being crowned the Independence Queen at the Rochester, NY Independence Day fair. Of course, I never intended to become a vampire, so I don’t celebrate the holiday anymore.

Emmett: My advice is simple- get yourself a hot girl, a keg (I prefer a deer blood keg) and a raw bear burger. Grab the fam- play a lil baseball and you’re set!

Bella: I find to keep your child occupied during the day, if you have no other children for him/her to play with, it is best to invest in a dog.  In our case, we have a wolf. And while you’re at it, if your kids are playing with wolves, why not let them play in traffic too.

Edward: I’ve learned that if you have accident-prone or klutzy people in your family, it’s best to keep them away from the grill, the fireworks, the stick you use for s’mores, the diving board on the pool, the volleyball court and the local Native American reservation. (If you have a reservation near by, you’d probably be safest to lock up your loved one…) Another tip that you can learn from my mistakes is to practice safe sex. You never know if someone’s semen, though it should be venemous, is actually safe & will produce a half-vampire child. Even Alice didn’t see that one coming…

Alice: It is not okay to help yourself to seconds or grab an extra large piece of patriotic cake. I know you think you’re going to exercise tomorrow, but trust me. You won’t. You can always bet on me

Jasper: Are you usually the one who laughs at the people wearing the flag t-shirts whistling “America the Beautiful” all day long? Don’t really feel like you have a patriotic spirit? Don’t worry. This year, with my help, you will wake up with the Star Spangled Banner stuck in your head all day, which you will sing, loudly, for everyone to hear. And forget a flag t-shirt, you’re going to be inspired to collect all the flags in your neighbor’s yards & sew together your very own, custom, patriotic flag-outfit (similar to this one (UC note- don’t click unless you want to see a big girl almost naked, seriously) here.) You will feel patriotic this holiday, with my help!

Advice from UC & Moon: Feel free to make this your desktop background:

4thofjuly_LTT

And make sure to listen to this song:

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.2872875&w=425&h=350&fv=config%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.videocure.com%2Fimages%2Fvidplayer%2FRssIN3ustUw%26amp%3Bautostart%3Dfalse]

Happy 4th of July!
Love,
UC & Moon & all the Cullens

Celebrate with Rob over on LTR

Not going to a picnic today (why not!? you should’ve told me- I would have invited you over!) play in The Forum

We are both out and about all weekend, so we may not approve your comment right away if it’s in moderation. Just chillax- enjoy. Eat a hot dog, or a raw bear burger if you’d rather! XO

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It's a Twilight Father's Day

To all the Twilight daddy’s: Carlisle Cullen, Billy Black, Charlie, Harry Clearwater, Big-Daddy Lautner & Edward,

A big HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to the whole group of you from Moon & I.  We love you all so much, we couldn’t pick one fav to write to today so we’re writing to you all (just kidding, Big Daddy-Lautner, you know you’re our fav).  Actually your kids are writing to you because we have our own daddys to take care of (although ours aren’t as cool as a vampire, Native American, cop or McDonald’s spokesperson…)

Enjoy your day! Go on over to Harry’s and grill out with his famous fish fry!
<3, UC & Moon

carlisleDear Carlisle,

Edward: Thank you for saving me from the Spanish Influenza & capturing my 17 year old perfection for eternity. Thank you for your encouragement to stay strong and not kill my beloved Bella &, of course, for the rockin’ sex tips. Although next time, I’d prefer it if you’d not get so detailed on how much Esme, my mother, likes to do that there.

Rosalie: Thank you, Carlisle, for changing my darling Emmett after he was attacked by that bear.  I’ll be honest I’m not crazy about how all that shit when down with Edward.  Why the hell didn’t you prep him first and convince him to love me? Also, I’ll deep down hate you forever for turning me into a vampire in the first place. Couldn’t you have let me die? F*ck y Oh yeah, this isn’t about me. Happy Father’s day Dad…

Emmett: Thanks for my smokin’ hot girl, Rose. And for that tip on how much mom likes that there- now Rose does too!

Alice & Jasper: (UC note: Uh, we couldn’t exactly find Alice & Jasper…. seems Jasper may have recently had a conversation with you, Carlisle? Something about something somewhere…..?)

Carlisle might be the reason we have Edward & so we’re the most grateful to him, but he’s not the only daddy! See all the other letters after the jump! Continue…

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Lovin' 100Monkeys means you'll be loved in return

Dear God, please let this girl's name be Bella

Dear God, please let this girl's name be Bella

Dear girls who thought by seeing the 100Monkeys last night at The Khyber in Philly Rob will now declare his eternal love for you,

Did he? Did Rob call you this morning anxious to begin your love affair? I figured. Cuz there’s nothing that turns on an actor more than girls showing up to a co-star’s band’s show wearing Twilight T-shirts, showing off their Twilight tats, swinging their home-made Jasper handbags over their shoulders, wearing a monkey hat, carrying around a huge stuffed monkey and asking when “Jasper” is going on stage.

By bringing a Monkey to the 100Monkey's show, Rob will be so happy & make me his wife

By bringing a Monkey to the 100Monkey's show, Rob will be so happy & make me his wife

How ever will Rob chose between you all?

Last night was amazing. Big hugs to all the LTT/LTRs I met. Real recap to come this week. It’s 2:16 am and I need my beauty rest if I am going to be at my best for Rob’s call in the am, declaring his love for me since I saw a show tonight where the lead singer happened to be in two movies with him and they may or may not be friends outside of work.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

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Characters that got the shaft in the movie Vol. 1: Jasper

Jasper_Cullen

Dear Jasper -

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now since I first saw the movie and now that I’m rereading Twilight (again). I’ve come to a conclusion Jasper: I think you got royally screwed in the movie. You (as well as some others I will cover in later posts) got screwed out of some majorly needed character development and denied one of the most powerful and in my personal opinion one of the BEST scenes from the book. You know the one… if you’ve got your bibles Twilight books handy it’s on page 404, near the end after the baseball scene they’re in the garage and everyone has run off to chase after James and Victoria while Alice and Jasper take Bella to Phoenix. Bella and Jasper are alone in the garage and this exchange takes place…

Jasper and I looked at each other. He stood across the length of the entryway from me… being careful.

“You’re wrong, you know,” he said quietly.

“What?” I gasped.

I can feel what you’re feeling now — and you are worth it.”

“I’m not,” I mumbled. “If anything happens to them, it will be for nothing.”

“You’re wrong,” he repeated, smiling kindly at me.

jasperaliceAmazing, isn’t it? Calm, cool reassuring Jasper says one of the most profound ideas of the entire saga, the whole basis for why they put themselves in danger, the reasoning behind Edward’s love for her. That above all else SHE’S WORTH IT! And it was not in the movie! What were they thinking? They added in some totally necessary parts and left THIS gem out? I really can’t quite understand that. Not only was this amazing scene cut from the movie we also never really learn fully about your abilities, Jasper. It’s mentioned that you’re “special” like Edward and Alice but they never explain how or why. Instead Jackson is forced to play Jasper as some sort of Edward Scissorhands caricature with crazy eyes and a serious need for Immodium AD. When really he’s a much deeper character with very deep emotions.

I understand the limitations of film but I still think you got screwed and I can only hope that they get it right from here on out with not only your character Jasper but with a lot of other ones. And while we’re at it can you tell Stephenie Meyer once she’s through finishing Midnight Sun she can start on the Alice/Jasper story. I’m DYING simply DYING to know more! I need to read the diner scene and get all ooey gooey with some Jasper and Alice love.

Soothe me Jasper,
Themoonisdown

Now don’t jump the gun… this is volume ONE and we have plenty of other characters to talk about!

Don’t let the good times end, head over to the forum and today’s daily chat!

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A birthday party with the Cullens

Dear Moon,

Tonight, the Cullen family cordially invites you over to their home to celebrate your birthday.  I know you don’t like surprises, so I snooped around to see what gifts the family was going to surprise you with and I have some advice:

carlisleesmeCarlisle is going to let you get any medical procedure at 10% off (Tues-Fri. only) although he is willing to “change you” for free. He also offered to introduce you to his son….

Esme promises to hug you often, but more gentle than any other member of the family. And if you were to hit if off with that son that Carlisle mentioned, she is offering free advice on being intimate with a vampire…

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edwardEdward promises to lend you his jacket for the evening as well as hitch your leg over his hip.

If that’s not good enough, you can take a spin in his volvo- I hear the seats go all the way back, if you know what I’m saying. (This is where Esme’s advice will come in handy!) Remember to take your birth control pill!

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_rosalie_haleRosalie has graciously offered to stay out of your way for most of the evening. She also has promised to keep her jealousy of you under wraps.

And that pesky little girl who follows Edward around? Bella something…? Well, Rose promises to be a fake lesbian with her for the night so you and Edward have some alone time (Wait.. is the fake lesbian theme in the Twilight Saga at all? Cuz the lines between twi-reality & our blog-reality are blurring…)

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emmettcullenBear hugs are Emmett’s specialty, and he loves giving them out. Watch out though- he might get a little frisky and try to turn them into “special hugs.”

After your done with his hugs, ask him to read you his favorite Bible story- the one about Samson.  He can’t get enough of Bible characters with superhuman strength!

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Alice-Cullen-twilight-movie-2185809-800-600Besides Edward, Alice is going to be the best thing about your birthday party! Not only will Alice tell you whether or not you’ll need that ‘intimacy with a vampire’ advice from Esme, but she’ll let you know what other presents Edward is surprising you with (ya know, just so you know how much you need to thank him)

Not sure what to wear tonight? No prob! Alice will be at your house 1 hour early with 2 bags full of high-end designer options. Plus she’ll do your hair & your make-up…..! You’re gonna look so smokin’ at this party that Rosalie won’t stick by her promise to keep her jealousy in check- plus Emmett & Jasper are gonna be begging Edward for details on your two…. (no pressure…)

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JasperHaleUh, Jasper won’t be there. He isn’t invited to birthday parties anymore…. the last one didn’t go so well…

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Enjoy your night! Happy birthday! Remember.. I’m the first to know all hook-up with Edward details!

XO,
UnintendedChoice

PS: See what Rob & The Quad did for Moon’s big day over at Letters To Rob

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