Monday Funnies: It's Monday, I'm at work and I'd rather be reading Twilight. FML

(We’re gonna play a little game… every time I tell you you’re going to hit the button in this link when I tell you to and then proceed… NOW don’t hit it YET until I say so… alright aaaaand GO…)

Dear LTT-er’s-

It’s once again  Monday (hit it!), and the debauchery of the weekend is now a distant memory (except that hickey) (hit it!) and instead of being curled up in bed reading Twilight or out with your friends wildin’ out or getting your drunk on in the Friday Night Crunk thread at the forum, we’re at work (hit it!). So in lieu of crying into your spreadsheets or that 3rd cup of coffee, let’s take a trip around the internet and laugh our faces off together.

Now you KNOW Twilight is getting big when entries on two of my favorite sites: F*ck My Life and Texts From Last Night start popping up and mention the saga. For the uninitiated, F My Life (FML) is a daily dose of short anecdotes based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with “Today” and end with “FML”. When my friend sent me this one I KNEW I had to share…

click to maximum LOL's

click to maximum LOL's

(Hit the button!)

Now my newest favorite website is Textsfromlastnight.com and I just happened to catch a few today that you have to see. TFLN is a site where people submit texts messages they’ve received or sent after a particularly awesome or terrible night!

clicky for maximum LOL's

clicky for maximum LOL's

(Hit it!)

Who hasn’t sat around wondering things like this on occasion? Why didn’t the Cullens use their powers for good like killing Bin Laden (hit it!), or to help save the polar bears from extinction (hit it!), or heck, how come the Cullens couldn’t stop Sparks from never being produced again (hit it!)?! On these occasions I may or may not have been drunk.

clicky for maximum LOL's

clicky for maximum LOL's

(hit it!)

Capt Crunch donuts AND Jasper Hale? COME ON! Where and how do I get both of these delivered to my office right now? Oh wait… one’s a fictional character (hit it!).

Now I dare you to get through a day without wanting to use the button after your boss tells you you need to come in early tomorrow or finding out you’re up for a yearly review but because of the economy, all raises have been suspended (hit it!)

Now back to work kids! (hit it!)
Themoonisdown

PS While you’re in the forum today don’t forget to check out the video topic where the lovely Jena is going to be bringing us the very best in moving images! I saw a sneak peek of todays and I highly suggest you keep the button handy!

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Jackson and the bat… need I say more?

Dear Jackson-

Now that the DVD is out I spent a good 30 minutes this weekend watching and re-watching that bit in the baseball scene where you’re up to bat and you do that cool bat flippy trick (technical term). I even sat there with it in slow mo cause it was totally hot. Then I noticed NReed in the background of your shot trying to do the same thing. And I wanted to yell at her “Stop it BIOTCH, you’re being distracting, this is Jackson’s moment stop ef-ing around!” But she didn’t listen.


(try not to wear this out toooo much)

I don’t know what it is about the scene that makes it so hot… must be something about knowing how to handle a bat…ahem… or maybe it takes me back to those high school days when I would sit in the stands eating sunflower seeds gossiping and crushing hard on the baseball team. And maybe a particular player named Hank who would later come to ask me out and I would tell him I couldn’t go out because it was my birthday! (I’m also dumb). But that is neither here nor there. I was young and stupid, don’t judge! Who knows what it is about that bat scene. But whatever it is… keep doing it Jackson!

Oh and I can’t wait for the Bella birthday scene in New Moon. Bite Kristen… HARD!

You can handle my uh… bat… uh anyday. Yea…
Themoonisdown

PS after the cut a gratuitous amount of jasper/jackson gifs to really help speed Tuesday along

PPS HUGE thanks to Twitter gals: dreamrevelry, MsJBell, tasha0529, starsfall, Twilight_Series and tabs07 for helping me find these goodies!

PPSS meant to add this in before but if you are creatively inclined please head over to Twilight Tuesday where this week’s challenge is who else?? Mr. Jasper. Twilight Tuesday

Continue…

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A Tribute to Alice Cullen

Dear Alice,

Many months ago Moon & I pushed the little heart on YouTube to “favorite” this video tribute to you. I just watched it again tonight and got goosebumps because it’s a great tribute set to a great song:

The girl who created the video apologized for using another girl most of the time b/c there isn’t much out there with Ashley Green (which is soon to change!)

I thought I’d name today “Alice Cullen Day” and throw out all the reasons why, next to Edward, you’re my favorite character in the Twilight Saga. (Well, also after Mrs. Cope, but duh, that goes without saying)

  • Because you can’t remember your human life, yet you seem the most compassionate to human feelings and emotions
  • Because of your love for Jasper- how you waited for him, how you knew he was coming! I can only imagine how hard it was to ignore those visions of your first, ahem, time together for all those years
  • Because you are a true, committed friend
  • Because of your connection with your brother, Edward.
  • Because you saw Bella coming and knew Edward would love her and you were right, so you’re smart which is another reason I love you
  • Because you knew that you’d be bff’s w/ Bella someday
  • Because you get to rip off James’ head in the movie, which is awesome since he’s the reason you’re a vamp in the first place and it was a brilliant move on Catherine Hardwicke’s part- one that Stephenie Meyer should’ve thought of!
  • Because the girl they picked to play you in the movie is Ashley Greene and she embodies you and IS you and dresses the cutest and is sweet and humble and we’re bff’s now and she’d probably be real creeped out if she ever read this, but Hi Ash! I’m normal, I promise! Let’s go shopping!
  • You’re the one who shows up in New Moon and rescues us from almost ending up with that dog
  • Because you have a great fashion sense and attempt to help Bella at any cost, any time which is a huge task b/c she dresses so fugly. Member that sweater Edward describes in Midnight Sun? Ugh!
  • Because you’re the most huggable marble-skinned vampire out there even more than Edward. Of course, he usually prefers my ‘special hugs.’
  • Because you gave Bella a huge closet which, ps, she only pretended to ‘play in for hours’
  • You come back in Breaking Dawn and I cry. The end

Hugs (and ps- can you tell me when I’m moving to California… it’d really help me with my summer plans…),

UnintendedChoice

What did I forget? I know there are many more reasons. Why do YOU love, Alice Cullen?

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One picture, two takes: Jacksper's edition

IIIiiiii'm throwing my arms around jacksper... i mean paris

Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me!

Take One:

Dear Jacksper-

It’s awesome to see that you’ve taken up a part time job as an Elvis impersonator to fill all your down time while filming New Moon.

So tell me, do the grandma’s swoon when you sing “Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Love” or perhaps they cry when you croon “Fools Rush In?”

But what I really want to see if you in a sequined jumpsuit doing “A Little Less Conversation” with KStew, NReed and Rachelle as your back up singers. That would blow that 100 Monkeys nonsense out of the water! Trust me.

Watch out Vegas, there’s a new star in town!

A little more bite, a little less bark!
Themoonisdown

Maria! I just met a guy in the Marine's named Maria!

Maria! I just met a guy in the Marines named Maria!

Take Two

Dear Jackson,

I’m trying to put my finger on the vibe I’m getting from your hair, and I’m a little confused. I’m feeling like you’re either going for the “Hi! I’m Jacksper Rathbone, and I look like a skunk” look or are secretly part of the gay Marine core.

Oh, I know what it is!  You’ve been feeling left out that Cam & Rob were asked to do that Vanity Fair “West Side Story” shoot last Spring that you are trying to convince the VF editors that you look the part, as well.  With hair like that, I bet you have killer dance moves, right?

Lovin’ the locks,
UnintendedChoice

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