Taylor Lautner at a hockey game in 4 takes…

Dear Taylor-

I had a great weekend, saw some friends, went to some house parties, got a fathers day gift (don’t forget Big Daddy Lautner this Sunday!) and wondered what you were up to now that New Moon wrapped principle photography… and lucky me Just Jared found you at a Detroit Red Wings hockey game! I totally forgot you were from the North because who else watches hockey around here? You and Big Daddy Lautner (my other name for Poppa Filet o Fish) did not disappoint with your AMAZING facial expressions during that game that were all caught on film for folks like UC and I to enjoy… and enjoy them we did!

Taylor: OH DUDE DAD!! That cougar behind me just grabbed my balls in the hall and I liked it!!
Big Daddy: Isn’t that a Katy Perry song?
Taylor: Um Yea, something like that, I don’t know Dad but she pushed me into the guys bathroom and told me she’d “make me a man” for Rob’s phone number, can you believe it?! I was like get in line sister!
Big Daddy: Hmmmph… kids these days… freakin 6 pack abs and mystic tans are wasted on the youth… I wonder if they have a McDee’s in this arena. Taylor go get me a McFlurry!

Taylor: Daaaadd… I just remembered Selena broke up with me. I’m really sad… do you have a kleenex?
Big Daddy: Uh, I got this leftover napkin from Wendy’s, will that do?
Taylor: sniff… sniff… yeaaaa but who will I walk in the rain with now? What about the umbrella I bought? Who will I give chaste sweet hugs to on the sidewalk in front of the papparazzi?
Big Daddy: Consider it a blessing she dumped you now Son. She’s a Disney girl, it would have taken 2 years to get to first base and then it would have ended in sorrow after the inevitable dirty webcam pics surfaced. Do you want some cotton candy?

Follow the cut to see if Big Daddy tackles a Dippin Dots vender…

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2nd Hand Embarrassment – I Kissed Your Mom, Bella Swan

Dear LTT-ers

Wow just WOW there’s so much 2nd hand Embarrassment in this video I don’t know where to start. I just want to turn it off or look away but these videos are like car crashes you just can’t stop staring in horror at the tangled mess. First off I think someone owes Katy Perry an apology for totally screwing over her song “I Kissed A Girl” cause OF COURSE they changed it to “I Kissed Your Mom” with a Jacob and Bella theme and then added in all kinds of terrible fan art.
Witness the offenses…

Yes, if you couldn’t tell this toddler on a motorbike cruising her way through what is obviously Forks, Washington is supposed to be Bella. Nothing says MILF like a bug eyed-anime eyed kid on a Little Tykes trike.

And OF COURSE what embarrassing picture video montage even remotely featuring Jacob is complete without this super creepy totally photoshopped picture. How long has this gross pic been floating around and people are STILL using it. Nice painted on wig, dude.

And I’ve saved the best part of the video for last…

I don’t know about you all but this is totally how I pictured the imprinting scene going down, complete with heart eyeballs and wolftail! Seriously??!! Come on people! Actually this might belong in Monday Funnies.

Make it stop!!

I kissed your mom and I liked it, her cougar lips invited… her hungry eyes, her quivering thighs… (wtf!)

Check out the rest of our 2nd hand embarrassment

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And the winner is…

Thanks to Wal-mart for this cool shizz

Thanks to Wal-mart for this cool shizz

Dear everyone who entered our most recent contest,

We randomly picked one of our readers who left a comment with a song that reminded her of Twilight, and a Twilight Party-Pack, courtesy of Wal-mart, is on its way to her as we speak.

Congratulations to: Briar Rose whose comment appeared on LTR

Her comment was: “My nomination is Obsession by Animotion. I will now go take a cold shower. . . ”

Congrats, Briar Rose! 

We had so much fun reading all the songs that remind you of Twi (or Rob- there were tons of those too!) and there was a definite pattern of songs or artists that kept popping up as suggestions:

  • “Strange & Beautiful” Aqualung
  • “Love Story” by Taylor Swift
  • “Thinking of You” by Katy Perry
  • “Almost Love” A Fine Frenzy
  • All songs EVER by Muse!
  • “Sex on Fire” Kings of Leon (I wonder why….!) 

We picked the winner 100% randomly and not by our favorite suggestion, but here were some of our favorites:

  • Closer Kings of Leon
  • My Body is a Cage The Arcade Fire
  • Creep Radiohead (cuz you always need a song that Thom Yorke wrote about masterbating)
  • I will follow you in the Dark Death Cab for Cutie (This is inscribed in the inside of UC’s hubby’s wedding band)
  • Blood Bank Bon Iver (UC’s suggestion)
  • Breathe Me Sia (rumored to be a great choice for New Moon)
  • No one’s gonna love you Band of Horses

We’re gonna leave you with that last song, just because we feel like it and we run the blog, so we’re the boss(es). You’ll love it. 

Thanks again to EVERYONE who entered! And congrats to Briar Rose! XOXO
Love, Us

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