Breaking News!!

Breaking News LTT-ers,

Kellan wore a shirt to work out at the beach!


Which should be noted for two reasons. 1. This has gotta be like the first time ever. 2. And probably the last time ever because it is balls hot in LA right now. He probably fainted after this picture was taken.

Also, in Breaking News Taylor Lautner loves Solomon Trimble and that other Native American dude who got fired after Twilight that he carries around a picture of them in every movie he does… witness:


Awwww he carries a flame for the OGW the original wolfpack…


I like that I live in a world where Taylor Lautner, international movie star and heart throb carries around a picture of him in an awful wig, that one guy and Solomon in a horse blanket coat. It’s like the only soldier who made it through a battle carrying around his fallen comrades dog tags in remembrance.

Sadly, Taylor Lautner and the props people of Abduction don’t live in the same world. And THAT is a sadness.

BUUUTTT We ALL live in a world when you google image search “Solomon Trimble” a ton of the top images are from LTT. SUCCESS!!!!

Breaking News…. I need a life,
Themoonisdown

Srsly, did anyone else think that when they saw this still from Abduction? Also, can we pass a law making it illegal for Kellan to be wearing a shirt within 500 feet of a body of water of a 24 Hour Fitness??

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6 Commented


Twilight stuff happens while you’re busy having fun!

Wedgie's happened while I was gone

Dear LTT,

A lot of shiz has happened in the like 4 weeks since I checked in on Twilight. Well, let’s be honest I saw two Twi related news items in my FB feed whilst I was busy spreading good will and Robsten cheer in Kenya. One was a picture of Rob holding a surfboard with his sideways toupee hairdo and the other was a picture of Kristen who clearly used a cranium sized bump-it and a bike pump to achieve this kind of volume on the cover of a magazine. So I take it Rob won an award and Kristen was on a magazine cover. But what REALLY happened while I was gone?

I took to the Twilight news blogs (BreakingDawnMovie.org, of course) to see what I missed…

  • Rob picks up groceries in shower shoes while Sam Bradley picks a wedgie. God, I (haven’t) missed so much. (Thx Lili for the tip and awful visual).
    .

G'Day Big Daddy! Let's throw another filet o fish on the barbie!

  • Taylor went to Australia to promote his High School Bourne Identity movie a month before it premieres on September 22. But I think the real news here is that Big Daddy is alive and well and went with him to Australia probably to see the Kangaroos and Koala’s and whether the latest restaurant in the Olive Garden family has opened yet. He’s their (faux) celebrity ribbon cutter and taste tester on ALL OG’s (hahaha how did I not see that Olive Garden’s initials are OG before this?) locations.
    .
  • Taylor ALSO began tweeting and started a Formspring which is basically just an excuse for us to ask him more about Big Daddy and if Taylor’s love of leather jackets comes from his fascination with leather daddies. True story. I really did ask that. He didn’t answer. Jerk.
    .
  • In other Twitter news, Nikki Reeed started an accunt (*edit* typo and it stays!). Ohhhh Nikki… Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. I’m counting the days till ome crazy over zealous Robstener’s drive you from the social network with AWFUL tweets like Joe Jonas’s crazy fans did with Ashley Greene. *Sigh*
    .

Get these mother effing Somali Pirates out of my mother effing Arena!

  • Kellan is in some direct-to-DVD shiz with Samuel BAMF Jackson called Arena. I know nothing about this other than the dvd cover shows Kellan in a leather jacket (leather daddy?!) fighting a somali pirate with an axe. NETFLIX this someone and report back.
    .
  • While I was away I received an email from a legit concert promoter telling me 100 Monkeys were playing the El Rey (again) and tickets were on sale. Am I the crazy person? Do real, actual, live human beings like this music and it’s not just an excuse to stare at  Jackson in a weird hat and fantasize it’s really Jasper and they’re Alice living out a real life fan fic scenario? Cause really I’m starting to question reality.
    .
  • Summit announced that Breaking Dawn Part 1: Regrettable Sexy Times (that’s really the tagline) will premiere 5 minutes from my house at Nokia Theater on November 14th. UC and I immediately began preparing our Red Carpet questions and dresses (Bella’s Replica Wedding Dress from Alfred Angelo OF COURSE) because we WILL be there. Oh yes, we WILL be there. This is your heads up Summit, hope you’ve added us to your “press” list. Anything we would ask will be a billion times better, more informative and enjoyable than that lady from access Hollywood or some other “fan sites” (yea I said it!) Just ask Stephenie Meyer! Forever and always our trump card.
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  • You know you’ve become one of those married/engaged people when you do shiz like this. Sorry Nikki Reed but NO.

Oh Rupert! LA loves you too

 

And with that… I think I may be caught up minus UC and I breaking down those new stills they released from Breaking Dawn Pt 1: Planned Parenthood Was Right! (The real tag line).

So happy to be back and I have some Twilight stories to share from Kenya another day.

Love to you all and mucho love-o to UC for holding down the fort while I was gone.

It’s Moon Bitches,
Themoonisdown

I know a ton of crap happend while I was gone that can’t be fit on BDmovie.org so what did I miss? Besides you guys, duh!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

100 Commented


The exact moment NONE of these things happened

Dear LTT-ers,

You know those moments you have an epiphany? It’s the exact moment you realize something that changes everything. Well I think we’ve caught some of our fave (or the one’s who showed their faces this week) cast members having epiphanies…

This is the exact moment Dakota realized her career was being eclipsed by her sister Elle’s…

Who needs Tom Cruise on speed dial when you used starred on a movie directed by JJ Abrams and produced by Spielberg? Suddenly that on screen kissy face time with Kristen Stewart doesn’t seem like a big deal when your sister is out taking over Hollywood.
.
This is the exact moment Kellan knew he was on time to teach Sunday School on his local church

This week he’s going to teach them about Noah on the Flannelgram board. The kids love when he teaches because he does the “voices.” You should hear Noah’s wife.
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This was the exact moment Elizabeth Reaser realized her five head was best covered up with a side swooped bang

We agree.
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This was the exact moment Jackson saw his reflection in the mirror behind that girls head

And thought “WELCOME TO RATHERBONIA!!!!” ok ok maybe he thought: “Daaaaayyyyuuum playa. I look GOOD!”
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This was the exact moment the Holy Trinity realized they forgot to include “final approval on all movie images” to their contracts.

More on this gem later…
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We’ve all had those moments, haven’t we? Only ours haven’t been immortalized on a calendar for all over 2012.

Glad I don’t have the paparazzi following me,
Themoonisdown

Is anyone going to buy this calendar or is it actually the cover for the BD Halloween costumes we’ll be able to buy in October? Do you want Kellan teaching your children from a Flannel gram board? YES!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

78 Commented


Friday Funny, I mean Friday Sad, Kellan Lutz’ Flop at the Box Office…

Dear Kellan Lutz,

Uh oh. You haven’t had the best week, have you? Not only did your limited-release (meaning 1 theater near your mom’s house plus DVD) movie, “Love, Wedding, Marriage” only make 1.4 million, but it currently has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. ZERO PERCENT.

I mean I saw the trailer:

(please don’t be surprised that there is a comment on this video from xXtwlight4evaXx who says “i want mandy moore and shane west to do another movie together!!! A walk to remember was amazing<3″)

Things I do: Cheat on the real Chuck Bass & star in bad movies

While I love great films, I’m not really a movie snob. I love me a good romantic chick flick (hello I’m a Twilight blogger). But this DOES look pretty bad- I mean Jessica Szohr is in it (yuck), Mandy Moore hasn’t been good since “A Walk to Remember” and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t actually good then & I was just blinded by love for Shane West. And you playing a grown man in love is….. well, let’s just say you may still need a few years before that’s believable. I don’t care that you have an 8-pack. Which is obviously why you were hired.

But again, it doesn’t look like it deserves 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. I mean, I MIGHT watch it on a long plane ride after taking a nap, reading a book & when the battery runs out on my iPad. I could possibly turn it on when it’s free On Demand and I’m sick on the couch. I might even click a link that says “Download Love and Marriage for free & win an Ipad” if the mood is right.

It definitely couldn’t deserve this review (could it?)

“If there is a special hell for film critics, it probably has movies like “Love, Wedding, Marriage” on continuous rotation.”

And taking pictures of Anthony Weiner apologizing & captioning them with quotes from reviewers about your movie is just mean (but pretty damn funny via buzzfeed)

Kellan, Kellan.. if only you had come to Moon or I before signing on to this movie. We would have warned you that out of the 16 films of Mandy Moore’s on Rotten Tomatoes, only 2 have gotten reviews over 50%. And that a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 0% means your movies is worse than: Battlefield Earth, Freddy Got Fingered, and Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (as told to us by EW Popwatch in a review attempting to be positive about Mandy Moore despite her horrible films (don’t worry- they didn’t mention you!))

And now you’re going to have to be nominated or even WIN a Razzie award and while that’s really good publicity, that shizz never leaves you! As if it’s not hard enough for you with all your muscles and Abercrombie background, the Twilight connection- that lacrosse movie with Ash Greene etc. to be taken seriously, this is just gonna make it all that harder.

Listen to me, Kellan. I don’t care how much Jane Seymour (Mandy’s mother in Love, Wedding, Marriage) pays wants you as her boy toy, don’t pick any more projects that drag down all the amazing work you did with the Twilight saga. Oh wait.

Kellan's big moment: Waving a knife while cooking Italiano

Always here to help,
UnintendedChoice

Do you ever feel really bad when a Twi cast member we love so much has a major flop of a movie like this one? 0% is HORRIBLE! Is this Kellan’s “100 Monkeys” moment? (Except that moment of Jackson’s doesn’t’ seem to be passing…) Will YOU see the movie? (assuming you live in the same town as his mom) Can you believe Ryan Adams married Mandy Moore? Can you tell I’m happy it’s FRIDAY FRIDAY

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

I failed & forgot to thank James for the heads-up on this amazing story!!

69 Commented


Shiz happens: I catch up on Twilight stuff

Dear LTTers,

Dudes, So much happened while I was away… I was off having tea with the Queen and Clare (they have tea together every Tuesday. DUH), trying to rescue the lost squirrel in TomStu’s beard, trying to figure out which dumb picture Jackson would tweet of himself next and then the second I got back Ron Ron and Tay Tay decided to make out on national tv… so really I’m just now catching up. This is what I found out happened while I was away…

  • Kristen Stewart ‘s facial paralysis was miraculously healed and she is now able to use her smiling muscles. Miracles happen folks! In our time! See: nearly every picture from the last week.
  • Jackson filmed a movie in the state that birthed me called Cowgirls and Angels. So this is either a FanFic turned film or it’s a p0rn, right?

I dare you not to

  • I’m not ashamed to say that I Googled the Cullen’s address 420 Woodcroft Ave Forks, WA (420, heh) and can report back that some vampire trickery is afoot because Google says to try again later because it’s having trouble loading it. UH HUH!!!! RIGHT! WHAT aren’t they telling us?!!?! I need door-to-door directions to the Cullen’s stat! We’re onto you Cullens!

JACKson of hearts… GETS IT??!! GET IT?!

  • Jackson got beat up by a pack of wild monkeys while I was gone. They were pissed off he was disgracing the sacred a name of the monkey species with his bands music. They also thought him holding a “JACK” of hearts cards was super cheese ball. So they showed him who’s boss

Some Shiz Never Changes:

Kellan runs around the city of Los Angeles topless

Awwww Kellan thanks for making me feel like I didn’t miss too much and it was a pleasant surprise to come back and see Kristen at least acting like she was enjoying herself a bit more. And yes, I did have tea with the Queen and Clare… in totally unrelated news my mom and sister-in-law have asked me to stop calling them The Queen and Clare. Party poopers.

Moon is back ALLLRRIIIGHT! (sung to the tune of Backstreet’s Back)
Themoonisdown

Are you happy I’m back? I’m happy to be back… and it’s nice to see all the fun comments and new commenters we got from the break down of the trailer. Welcome! What else happened whilst I was gone? Has anyone seen Jackson “perform” recently… should I stop being so harsh? No. Ok.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

152 Commented


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