Open Post: Love Letter to Jackson Rathbone, her new #1!

(Oh Jackson you’re always getting the love even when we dog you! Lieutenant Twilight writes you a letter today while we’ve Gone Fishin’. Tuck it between your banjo-lin and the trimmings from your catfish facial hair to read when times are tough. xo, moon)

Ladies Love Cool J

Dear Jackson,

I love you!

Whew… Glad I got that out of the way.  You see, most people in the twi-fandom have been cast under some sort of spell by Rob.  I never was.  I never understood the draw, ok well I UNDERSTAND it, I just remain unaffected.  You see, for about 11 years I have always had the same #1 celeb crush.  That’s dedication my friend.  And now, you’ve won me over and… well you’re my #1! I don’t know when it happened and I don’t know how I am supposed to let HIM know.  I mean, he’s been there from my tween years! However, after staring at you and hearing what you’d like to dress up as, I at least know WHY it happened!  You see the previous winner of my top 3 was the Johnny Depp.  I was committed to his sexiness from a very early age and continued on until I was introduced to you.

Ranks higher than Johnny Depp?!

You have similar features and want to dress up like characters he has already played.  You play “music” and have terrible tattoos.  It’s like you’re a younger version of him, only you have something that appeals to me more, and that is your awkward sense of humor and outgoing personality.  Unlike my Mr. Depp, who is shy and reserved.  Therefore, you’ve become my #1 man.  My list now reads #1 Jackson Rathbone, #2 Johnny Depp, and #3 Scarlett Johansson (nope, not a lez, but ScarJo is too pretty for me to deny my crush).  So lately I’ve been trying to scheme my way into meeting you and getting in your pants…  I’ve considered a 100 Monkeys show, but alas there are none in driving distance.  I’ve thought briefly about flying to LA to go to a show, but then my conscience kicked in and said that was too extreme.  But is it? I mean I could meet you and never really fall in love or give special hugs because I have a fantastic husband who actually owns a Stetson and Spurs (cuz he really is in the Cavalry! I know… I’m a lucky girl!!)  So I shall continue to swoon over you from a distance and die a little inside if ever you should develop an actual relationship with someone.   Because you have overcome Johnny Depp on my list and he was a multiple winner of “Sexiest Man Alive” and maintained a #1 position in my heart for 11 years!  I hope beyond hope that you can do the same!

Playing Dress up with my husband,

DUDE a hat AND spurs… forget Jackson let’s see pics of Lt. Twilight’s hubs! So what is it about Jackson? Besides Rob Jacky gets the next highest number of letters in our inbox…higher than Taylor even. Whats up with that? Is it the side talking? The weird band? Is it because I love to call him Jacky?

Today is the day- Moon returns home!! I am SO ready! I only wish I could give her a big hug. We’ll talk to you Monday- ready to jump back INTO it!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTRThe ForumTwitterThe Store

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The one where Cathy the Cougar gets a love letter

Moon & I bet on what New Moon would make domestically its first weekend. I guessed low hoping I’d win by default because Moon guessed too high, but she schooled me. She guessed 140.1 million and it brought in 142.8 million. Amazing. I wish she’d be right when I ask her to guess Rob’s jitterbug phone number. My punishment for losing? Love letter to the Cougar:


Got my hair cut at the SuperCuts next to the TGIFridays

Dear Cathy the Cougar,

Every time I write that- Cathy the Cougar- I think of Tony the Tiger. And me and Tony had some good times when I was growing up- well, until I realized that if I kept inhaling multiple bowls of him every day, I’d end up with hips like my Great Aunt Jane. I haven’t seen Tony in a few years….That’s pretty radical.

So I’m supposed to be writing you a love letter, but this is quite the difficult task because for the past few months we’ve called you all sorts of special names we made up just for you and said some things some would consider not so nice. We’re honest girls, though, and I’m not here to apologize for what we felt had to be said. In order to get me into the mindset of “Cathy the Cougar love,” I asked around on Twitter to see what others would say to you if they had the chance. Some would thank you for foreseeing the potential in Taylor’s abs, therefore boosting the economy in Georgia. There’s mixed feelings on the brutal slaughter of yet another one of Charlie’s friends. While on one hand we love the introduction of Buttcrack Santa into the story (for all the obvious reasons such as those little bottles, the song about kitties and the image forever imprinted in our minds of an old, creepy man’s buttcrack hanging out while driving around in one of those rape vans, wearing a santa hat), we hate that he had to be killed off. Such a lovable character gone- forever…Many twitterers were thankful you did such a lousy job with Twilight because it really makes Chris Wetiz’ work, which might otherwise be considered sub-par, really stand out as a beautiful work of art.  Most regard your casting Kristen as Bella as your biggest feat, but only because she fought for the casting of Rob Pattinson. Awesome Continue…

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