Letters to Twilight in 10 words or less

Dear LTT-ers,

Just the other day I was talking to UC about how I wished I could just post two word letters or even three (go for the gold Moon!) because sometimes less is more especially when you see shiz like this:

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Dear Rob and Kristen,

Be less predictable.

Love your pal,

So I decided to summarize the following Twi-news, pictures and what have you in 10 words of less… can I do it and still be semi funny? Will you love me when I fail miserably?

Let’s see shall we?

Your faithful servant,

Take the cut to see if I can do it!

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For Kristen Stewart, a guide to keeping men happy

Dear Kristen,

On the day we finally declare peace in the Rob fandom by linking arms and uniting in one voice to declare “We are the Rob, We are the Fandom,” you go and stir the shit. Of course you would. Kinda makes me like you a bit too- ain’t nothing like rattling a hornets nest with the news that Micheal Arangano aka Oregano might actually be in Vancouver. Yup, the same Vancouver that you and the rest of the Eclipse cast is in (oh and that dude you’ve been seen with- Rob Whateverson- happens to be there too.) I kind of really want you to be seen one day with Oregano doing that lovely-dovey shiz like you all did in April and then the next day been seen all double O style with Rob because then you would be a Lady Pimp, Man Killer, and I would be forced into maybe, quite possibly, LOVING YOUR FACE. If you were stringing both of these boys along, making them fly to other countries, hide under hoods, buy you dinner, comb out your mullet and then get the H out of bed once you were finished with them, I would give you the biggest high five ever. EVER. Just the thought of it makes me smile and want to yell “Girl Power!” (Spice up your life!).

So since we have no real confirmation as to validity of this other than the ALWAYS valid Splash News *ahem* I’m going to speculate that it’s totally true and Oregano really is up there in Vancouver and the reason you didn’t go to the cast dinner last weekend was because it was Oregano’s day and not Rob’s, so like any good Lady Pimp you sent Rob along to the dinner to be watched over by your frenemie Nikki Reed while you, or should I say while Oregano, attended to your “needs.” I’m so kinda proud! Since you are 19, however, I have a feeling you’ve just recently tapped into your Lady Pimp Man Killer essence so you’re new at this and might be in need of a few tips from some seasoned sluts professionals. So out of the goodness of my heart, and as a sign of goodwill and Rob-peace, I’ve put together a little guide for you with the help of some pals:

Follow the cut to see the rules!

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Twilosophy of the fandom – REAL Twilight fan?

REAL fan?!

REAL fan?!

Dear LTTers/Twilosophy Majors,

For quite some time now we’ve been reading emails, viewing other sites posts, receiving comments, and talking between us about what it is to be a “REAL fan.” We’ve been told by countless people that because of what we post we are not “Real fans”  and we’ve read on many other fansites and blogs and been on email chains toting the tenants of a “REAL fan” And apparently we (and many of you) are not “Real fans” because  being a ‘REAL fan” means something quite different to us than them. To certain folks, being a fan, means always agreeing with the powers that be, always saying something nice or non-divisive, loving everything about the saga or movies, opposing any sort of speculation or the posting of any possible rumors and god forbid: posting a picture taken by a paparazzo! The horror! But we beg to differ (of course!) because we definitely do all the above so-called no-no’s but we also love this saga like McAdams loved Gosling (RIP). And who’s to decide the level of someone else’s fandom? Can we really base our love for something on these outward displays of devotion?

  • does kissing butt and blindly accepting everything make you a “real fan”
  • does bringing up objections and differing opinions make you any less of a fan?
  • Does it make us less of a fan of the actors or books by posting a paparazzi picture?
  • When we write something in jest about an actor or character does that make us mean spirited?

I still read every little dumb post, read every article and buy every magazine (well the ones with the good pics!), own TWO full sets of the saga, own a Pocket Edward, co-write two blogs about Twilight and Rob, talk incessantly about the stories, have recommended the books to countless people and yet I’m not a “REAL fan?”

Because I’m a word nerd I looked up the word “fan” and here’s what we get…

Fan –noun
an enthusiastic devotee, follower, or admirer of a sport, pastime, celebrity, etc.
1885–90, Americanism; short for fanatic

supporter, enthusiast, ardent admirer, booster, addict

Not a fan!

Not a fan!

Ok, so I’m pretty sure we could be called enthusiastic devotees and ardent admirers and most definitely ADDICTS! So what does it all mean? UC and I have sat around dwelling on this topic for months now and we hope that it comes across in the right way. Not as a pat on the back for ourselves but as validation to the other countless fans, YOU GUYS, who are just like us, think it’s alright to do all those things listed above and still be a fan! That’s why we started a blog- not just for the hell of starting a blog- but to be different. To say something interesting about the Saga we love. To BE those true fans who say “I love this so much I’m not afraid to admit that you suck in that moment” To say – no- you did it wrong. Because by doing that makes our happiness and excitement that much more genuine.

You know those friends or boyfriends when you ask “does this make me look fat?” or “What do you think of this dress?” automatically answer “YES?” While it’s nice to hear a compliment, in the end I’m going to trust the person who told me I looked like “a stuffed sausage in spanx” for advice over the “You look like Heidi Klum” person any day, because I know they’re being honest and want the best for me. And I only look like Heidi Klum on weekends after all.

Yes, frequently

Yes, frequently

On the same tip, when someone writes a review in the New York Times- they’re honest (and yes, I’m comparing us to the New York Times, go with it for the sake of the lecture!) They don’t say what they think the publishing house wants them to say. They don’t take the authors feelings into consideration. They are truly honest- and I think it’s important for people to have their own opinions. And equally as important: we need to leave room for other people’s opinions who differ from our own! it’s like “they” say: variety is the spice of life, differences make the world go round, never turn down a free filet-o-fish or whatever it is “they” say.  So that’s what we will do and continue to do. Write honest, while humorous, looks at saga and movies we love so much while being open for differing opinions, LOVING the good and calling out the bad.

a REAL fan,

So what say you? Do you feel like there are signs for true fandom? Have you been judged as a fan either way?

Don’t miss out on some Rob goodies at Letters to Rob
Real fans love the forum!

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This Cosmic Love – Edward and Bella

Dear Edward and Bella,

Sometimes words can adequately explain why your love story is so great. So words like cosmic seem like the only thing that can come near to explaining something so big, so strong and all encompassing. When Calli sent this video over I knew somehow someone had tapped into just a little once of truth regarding you two. The video features the song “Cosmic Love” by Florence and the Machine and I really can’t think of a better way to state the good, the bad and the lovely about you two. I was so intrigued by the term cosmic that I wanted to see the full extent of the term and here’s what good ol Merriam Webster had to say on the subject:

1 a
: of or relating to the cosmos, the extraterrestrial vastness, or the universe in contrast to the earth alone b : of, relating to, or concerned with abstract spiritual or metaphysical ideas
2 : characterized by greatness especially in extent, intensity, or comprehensiveness

Yea, I think that about sums it up…

PS big thanks to the lovely, radical, funny Calli

What words would you use to describe Bella and Edward?

Follow the cut to read the lyrics

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Shh, we've got a secret to share… and it might involve Jacob Black

Who are you people?

Who are you people?

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Team Edward members-

I’ve got a secret that I’ve been hiding for a while. It’s not something I tell other people I usually hide it away and tell people what they want to hear cause really who wants to hear this dirty tale? No it’s not an addiction to Rob Porn and no I’m not hitting the sauce or smokin’ the mary jane, and no I haven’t turned into a crazy Pattinson Pants wearing Twihard. Nope it’s an entirely different secret all together.

But I couldn’t handle the secret anymore… I just had to share with someone else and risk ostracizing myself because I couldn’t take it anymore! So I asked UC to sit down and brace herself cause what I was about to reveal was quite heavy. And what ensued reads like two addicts discussing their secret tendencies for the bad stuff…

Moon: i picked up NM again
Moon: bella said “holy crow” in the part i read last night
Moon: im having team jacob tendencies but i think its cause i havent read about edward in forever
UC: i’ll be honest… i’m loving him these days too
UC: i dunno why
Moon: seriously, I’m so glad you said that!! I felt like an outcast!
UC: i dunno why… but we are

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

OK OK OK!!! Yes, I’m secretly loving Jacob and I can’t stop. Don’t look at me that way, I can see your disappointed eyes through this letter! So why is that? Why do we feel like we’ve betrayed Edward? And why is Jacob looking like such a possibility these days? Do we have a classic case of the wandering eye? Have we gotten a little too comfortable in our love for Edward that seeing Jacob again shines a new light on the situation? I feel like initially you’re so blinded by how lovely, and beautiful, and hot, and perfect  Edward is that Jacob just comes off like my good buddy from gym class. But now that we’ve been going steady for a while, you start to look around a little and see Jacob again and notice that he’s not only your pal but actually that amazingly hot, nice guy who might be the quarterback of the football team that you overlooked in your initial Edward-lust.

Omg, is it November yet?

Omg, is it November yet?

And I’m sure seeing Taylor at Comic Con didn’t help, nor did those picture of him with Taylor Swift, or that official picture from the set of him and Kristen in the truck, or reading the part in New Moon where he jumps into her window to tell her he’s trying to “keep his promise” or the part where Bella chooses to let him drive away after she spots Alice. So what’s a girl to do when she’s questioning her team allegiance?

Well… how about question it some more, keeping reading New Moon, count down the days till New Moon is released and OD on some Taylor and wonder if Team Edward will ever forgive me…

We’re not cheating on you Edward, we just want you to know you have some serious competition!


PS I just figured out I’m almost 10 years older than Taylor. That’s just wrong and also weird that I never realized that before.

Get over to Letters to Rob to read about what UC think’s Rob is doing right now
Switch to Team Jacob in the Forum and don’t feel bad about it!

Pics from someplace I can’t remember and Lion & Lamb Love

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