Friday Funny, I mean Friday Sad, Kellan Lutz’ Flop at the Box Office…

Dear Kellan Lutz,

Uh oh. You haven’t had the best week, have you? Not only did your limited-release (meaning 1 theater near your mom’s house plus DVD) movie, “Love, Wedding, Marriage” only make 1.4 million, but it currently has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. ZERO PERCENT.

I mean I saw the trailer:

(please don’t be surprised that there is a comment on this video from xXtwlight4evaXx who says “i want mandy moore and shane west to do another movie together!!! A walk to remember was amazing<3″)

Things I do: Cheat on the real Chuck Bass & star in bad movies

While I love great films, I’m not really a movie snob. I love me a good romantic chick flick (hello I’m a Twilight blogger). But this DOES look pretty bad- I mean Jessica Szohr is in it (yuck), Mandy Moore hasn’t been good since “A Walk to Remember” and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t actually good then & I was just blinded by love for Shane West. And you playing a grown man in love is….. well, let’s just say you may still need a few years before that’s believable. I don’t care that you have an 8-pack. Which is obviously why you were hired.

But again, it doesn’t look like it deserves 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. I mean, I MIGHT watch it on a long plane ride after taking a nap, reading a book & when the battery runs out on my iPad. I could possibly turn it on when it’s free On Demand and I’m sick on the couch. I might even click a link that says “Download Love and Marriage for free & win an Ipad” if the mood is right.

It definitely couldn’t deserve this review (could it?)

“If there is a special hell for film critics, it probably has movies like “Love, Wedding, Marriage” on continuous rotation.”

And taking pictures of Anthony Weiner apologizing & captioning them with quotes from reviewers about your movie is just mean (but pretty damn funny via buzzfeed)

Kellan, Kellan.. if only you had come to Moon or I before signing on to this movie. We would have warned you that out of the 16 films of Mandy Moore’s on Rotten Tomatoes, only 2 have gotten reviews over 50%. And that a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 0% means your movies is worse than: Battlefield Earth, Freddy Got Fingered, and Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (as told to us by EW Popwatch in a review attempting to be positive about Mandy Moore despite her horrible films (don’t worry- they didn’t mention you!))

And now you’re going to have to be nominated or even WIN a Razzie award and while that’s really good publicity, that shizz never leaves you! As if it’s not hard enough for you with all your muscles and Abercrombie background, the Twilight connection- that lacrosse movie with Ash Greene etc. to be taken seriously, this is just gonna make it all that harder.

Listen to me, Kellan. I don’t care how much Jane Seymour (Mandy’s mother in Love, Wedding, Marriage) pays wants you as her boy toy, don’t pick any more projects that drag down all the amazing work you did with the Twilight saga. Oh wait.

Kellan's big moment: Waving a knife while cooking Italiano

Always here to help,
UnintendedChoice

Do you ever feel really bad when a Twi cast member we love so much has a major flop of a movie like this one? 0% is HORRIBLE! Is this Kellan’s “100 Monkeys” moment? (Except that moment of Jackson’s doesn’t’ seem to be passing…) Will YOU see the movie? (assuming you live in the same town as his mom) Can you believe Ryan Adams married Mandy Moore? Can you tell I’m happy it’s FRIDAY FRIDAY

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

I failed & forgot to thank James for the heads-up on this amazing story!!

69 Commented


One Year. It's been a long time coming! Celebrate our year in the Twilight fandom!

Oh hello outtake of Moon & UC in a disney forest!

Dear UnintendedChoice (I used your full fake name cause I’m serious. I’m also wearing a pair of Tweed jorts),

A year ago today (trust me, I counted) we started this “secret blog” which now a year later isn’t such a secret anymore, not to the thousands of visitors we get or the hundreds of commenters who comment on every post and not even to most people in my real life now. In fact more often than not I’m now introduced to people I don’t know with “Hi X, this is Moon* she runs a “famous” Twilight blog!” Uh, well, wham, bam, thank you ma’m. Not such a secret anymore I dare say!

Remember our very first layout EVER?!

People ask me why I don’t talk more about the blogs in my real life and it would be easy to say it’s embarrassing I write a blog every day about Twilight and Rob but truthfully I can’t be embarrassed anymore about a blog that’s become part of the fandom in a real and lasting way. I can’t be embarrassed that people have met their soul mates and friends and long lost bff’s because we write about Twilight. I can’t be embarrassed that things we’ve created: words, phrases, characters, fake names have become part of the lexicon of the Twilight/Rob fandom.  And I definitely can’t be embarrassed that because I write this blog I have found a new lease on life and created a deep and lasting friendship with one of the most wonderful people God ever created. You are a God send UC. Baby Jesus and Rob himself created you just for me in their plaid heaven in the sky.

May the source be with you!

Some people know a little bit of my back story that led up to creating this with you but for those who don’t I worked for an entertainment company for multiple years and worked my way up through the ranks to a position that had all the responsibility of a middle woman and none of the perks of an upper level executive. I regularly contemplated crashing my german made car into the free way underpass on the way to work every morning. Every Sunday night (or really just any day ending in Y) I would wake up with panic attacks that would leave me paralyzed in my bed. I would come home from work and go straight to bed at 7Pm until I had to get up and do it all again the next day. To say all of these things were unhealthy would be an understatement.

And then I found Twilight (cue choir of Angels) or rather it found me.

Follow the cut to read the rest and to see some special shout outs, music, and hear the story of our first post!
Continue…

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