Mike Newton Appreciation Day

We received another fan letter:

Dear brilliant girls who run LTT, [UC note: okay maybe I took a creative liberty here]

It was brought to my attention that Michael Welch was quoted talking about his fans and saying,

“I get to be a part of the cultural phenomenon, but there are no riots breaking out over me.”

This breaks my heart. Poor Mike Newton doesn’t have a riot of fans after him. Is it because he’s less handsome than Rob? Let’s be frank, Newton is the reason we all love Twilight, right?

What would have been the movie without the “Arizona! How are you liking the rain girl?” or “You’re alive!”. Everyone always talk about Team Edward or Team Jacob, but what about Team Newton?

Love,
Morns

Dear Morns,

You’re right. Mike Newton IS the  reason we love Twilight. Where would we be without his white boy-dorky goodness? I’ll tell you where- no where. That’s where.

By the power invested in me as the co-owner of a blog where we make fun of Twilight stuff cause we love it so much, I hereby declare today “Mike Newton Appreciation Day.”

mikenewton

(Feel free to use this image on T-shirts, pins & edible underwear)

Let’s FINALLY give this boy some of the love he deserves. Not many guys would be willing to support a charity for BOOBS. But Mike isn’t afraid to say “I like boobs, so I don’t want anymore women to lose theirs” (okay so that was Michael Welch- who cares? Newton? Welch? Same guy!) Plus being THAT stereotypical guy who never gets the girl he wants is hard (that’s what she said), not to mention losing her to a sparkly vampire (even though, Mike, come on- Jessica is ten times hotter than Bella).

Dear Mike,

If I’m ever lucky enough to sit by you, I’m gonna talk to you.*

Love,
UnintendedChoice

After the jump, Morn shares some Mike Newton love to help us APPRECIATE his white boy, dorky goodness today! Continue…

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Twi-Dirt: The interactive Sleepy Saturday Edition

Dear Twilight Fans around the globe,

On this sleepy Saturday (it is currently Friday as I’m writing this, but I’m anticipating a sleepy Saturday) we bring you another round of Twi-dirt- our semi-occasionally-not very often word vomit of Twilight-related news. Today we thought we’d spice it up & instead of our usual hilarious sentence with a link to the news we are going to be more interactive. (We don’t feel there is enough interaction on our two sites- the 800-1,000 daily comments on LTR posts aren’t enough for us) All of today’s dirt can be found (with one teeny exception) within today’s post. This will ensure you don’t have to leave our site, ever.  What else is there to do on a sleepy Saturday anyway?

Enjoy! Happy Sleepy Satuday!

Love,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

  • “Twilight’s kinda a big deal” and this parody BLEW OUR MINDS!
    a
  • This one is not for children because it’s too hilarious and children shouldn’t be surrounded by hilarious things:
    a
    [vodpod id=Groupvideo.2317404&w=425&h=350&fv=]

The mindblowing continues after the cut…

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To Michael Oregano:

michael-arangano

cute little italian spice

Dear Michael Arangano,

Hey. I know I haven’t been the nicest to you in the past, so I’m writing to apologize. Plus you’re kinda cute in this picture, and that’s the first time I’ve thought that. So good job.

Anyway, I’ve been feeling kinda bad for you with all the tweens of the world hoping for a KStew + RPattz hook-up and all. That’s really gotta suck, especially when you’re competing with this guy. 

edward

this guy is hotter than you, just sayin'

So, I wanna let you know I’m on your side. I’m really, really hoping you and Kristen pull through all the drama and the (at least) two more Twilight-saga  movies she’s gotta do and stay in love ‘n stuff. And I’m not just saying that b/c I’m selfish and want her to keep her grimey little hands off of Rob.  Well, I’m 90% saying that b/c I don’t want her touching Rob, but 10% of me just doesn’t want to see true love fail, ya know?

I know what you’re asking. Why now, UnintendedChoice? Why all the love when all this time you’ve made fun of me for how I look, for the fact that I was in Seabiscuit and called me Michael Oregano? It’s a fair question because I didn’t think this day would come, but I kind of got a glimpse of how you feel on a daily basis with all this Kris/Rob shizzat when I saw this picture last night: 

robert_pattinson_and_kristen_stewart_in_bed

they were just playing 'sleep-over' no, she was helping him wax his chest, no, they were in alaska in the wilderness and he took off her shirt to save her life...

Those are some CRAZY fans with CRAZY photoshopping skillz. (Source) and I’ll be honest, for a split second I thought it was real (and his hair is SHORT, so you know it was recent) until I realized Perez posted that pic of his face last week.

So, I feel awful for you (and for me- how do you think I feel seeing Rob in bed with a ho beautiful young woman?) and wanted to let you know I’m on Team Michael Oregano (it’s a cute name, I’m not stopping, take what you can get) Oh- and yesterday I randomly came across Robert/Kristen fan fiction (yep, not Edward/Bella fan fiction, but a love story about ROBERT AND KRISTEN) No, I will not post the link because it’s too 2nd hand embarassing (well, it’s 90% b/c it’s 2nd hand embarassing and 10% because I’m embarassed that I read all 9 chapters at work.)

Also, I wanted to let you know that apparently Kristen is preggers, although I think it’s probably Michael Welch’s baby. You know he and Kristen were playing “Bella decides to stay human and has a boring life with Mike Newton” in her trailer.

please inform your gf that her hand looks like a man's hand

please inform your gf that her hand looks like a man's hand

K bye,
UnintendedChoice

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