What to do between now and November

Forever… till November!

Dear Twihards,

We still have 56 days till the big dance aka when Breaking Dawn Pt 2 comes out and seriously, thats a long time. Like almost 2 months. What are we supposed to do? Well, have no fear I’ve come up with this short list of stuff for you to do in the mean time.

- Start running suicides to prepare for the running of the Twihards. Aka when they hand out wrist bands for tent city before the premiere.

- Begin your Twilight memories quilt to bring with you to tent city / the midnight screening. Gather up those old (ugly) tshirts from hot topic. That shirt you ripped off Charley bewley at that last twicon. The sam bradly tshirt you drunkenly bought at a concert one night and inevitably never wore. You get the idea.

- Go to the Twilight marathon. Wear you wolf costume or your Bella’s wedding dress. Act out every scene and annoy the movie goers around you.

It totally DOESN’T look like this

- Finish that oatmeal cableknit sweater you started back when you first read Twilight. We have it on good authority that someone who’s names rhymes with “Smedward” will be there wearing a sleeveless one.

- Prepare your most embarrassing questions for the Breaking Dawn Con in LA.  Extra points if they mention “Jacob shirtless,” someone’s boyfriend being english, a mini cooper, or how someone’s love is unbroken. Extra extra points if the trinity actually shows up.

- Reread Midnight Sun. Remember when that was a thing?

- Write your own ending to Midnight Sun. Oh waaaait.

I’m going with the cable knit sweater option. Come quick November 16! COME.QUICK.
Moon

What are you doing in the meantime? Are you coming to LA for the premiere?

41 Commented


First clip from LTT interview with Stephenie Meyer

Dear People who want to hear Moon’s cute laugh & UC’s man voice,

We have your first opportunity. Thanks to Kallie from TwilightSeriesTheories, we have our first clip from the big interview with Stephenie!

Here you will hear a ton of laughing, (the cutest voice is Moon), a voice you THINK is probably the one dude who was with us (Matty from TwilightSource) but is, in fact, me & then Stephenie, confirming what we all hoped- Midnight Sun is NOT being worked on and has NO immediate plans to be published. And that is just fine because seriously what I read was AWFUL and it would just be a waste of her time to work on & I bet the only person who would buy it was her agent & that’s only b/c she got a free copy. Her MOM won’t even buy it.*

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

As you can tell, it’s hard to hear what is going on. Stephenie can be clearly heard but the rest probably sounds jumbled. (Psst- Twifans was there with us too!)  It was so laid-back & relaxed that we all just chatted & added thoughts and asked follow-up questions…. it was great!!!!

Hope you enjoy!

UC & Moon

*Wondering why I’m being so mean? You clearly didn’t read LTT yesterday

Oh- PS, this is our 2nd letter for today… Read the 1st one here

57 Commented


Breaking it Down: Meeting the Meyer, special hugs and SLOW CLAPS!

Dear LTT-ers,

Up until now it’s all seemed like a a dream. We really didn’t meet Stephenie and she really didn’t answer our questions, and we’ve just imagined all of this… but I think it’s now finally starting to sink in. At least now we’re starting to remember more and more of what happened. We even started breaking down some of the questions we asked Stephenie last Thursday and her answers (FINALLY!)…

Pretty much exactly what I looked like

Slow Clap or The Fraser Clap?
UC
: I keep thinking of things that happened on Friday and then wondering if I’m making them up because or if it was for real. Like… when she told us she reads LTT every day- was that in a hushed tone like she was telling us a secret (or she was embarrassed) or does everything sound hushed when you’re so beet red after a Best-selling author tells you SHE reads what YOU write?
Moon: i dont know, i couldnt hear anything after i totally embarrassed myself with my semi-tard/brenden fraser clap (REMIX!) when she said she read us every day. i was 2nd embarrassed for myself
UC: you clapped? did you give us a slow clap & I missed it?
Moon: i did some sort of weird hand clap, grab i remember
UC: haha… i’m picturing you like Lumiere from Beauty & the Beast, how he shakes hands from side to side.
Moon: yea maybe i stood up (higher) and gave us a slow clap… then slowly everyone else got up and clapped because if we learned anything from the 80s, you cant resist a slow clap!
UC: right- no one knew what happened. It didn’t matter. When a slow clap starts, you don’t question- you just join in
Moon: you slowly stand and stop eating your muffin (twss) and you clap

*Begins Slow Clap*

UC: OR maybe it was  like Michael sheen when he claps his hands together when he says “Ah Beller is alive and well”
Moon: i defs quoted that when we talked about what a rockstar micheal sheen was
UC: haha… Beller is alive & well, Stephenie Meyer reads LTT *Slow Clap*
Moon: and then someone got their head and arms ripped off but i blocked that out. i went and got a slice of melon and a piece of bacon instead.
UC: there was BACON? were we at the same event?
Moon: you have to bring a sacrifice to lay at her feet when you meet. it’s just the rules
UC: i have no recollection of you sitting next to me eating a disgusting pig
Moon: yes there was bacon!!
a YUMMY pig
UC: oh dang- I vaguely remember an omelet bar too
Moon: bacon is a “gift from the gods” like jacob in new moon! TWI NERD QUOTE OF THE DAY! WINNER!
UC
: but my 1/2 a strawberry seemed much more appetizing. Dude I’m a VEGETARIAN like the Cullens. That’s nasty
Moon: if thats the case im hanging out with the bad vamps!
UC: You get Bree & Fred.
Moon: ef that vegetarian nonsense. BACON is where it’s at
UC: I’ll take Edward
Moon: AND they have riley aka xaiver

Yea, we want to special hug him too

The one where Stephenie might want to special hug Xavier
UC
: oh yes- let’s discuss that… how Stephenie is a major fan of Xavier and his hotness
Moon: duuuuude arent we all?! but she seemed like a special fan… who wants to give him special hugs… get in line BIOTCH!
UC: right- I’d say there was a special place in her heart for Xavier
Moon: she talked about his casting tape right?? and how she gave killing off riley a 2nd thought after seeing xavier
UC: I saw it in her eyes- I mean. I saw it bounced off your hair, which was in my view of her eyes MAD FACE yes- I think so. I have no idea. Did we make that up? Did this interview actually happen?
Moon: hey we’re besties, we gotta sit next to each other. I can’t help it if Stephenie Meyer wants to sit next to me at brunch!
UC: she said he sent in an audition tape to the casting lady and she nEVER looks at videos through the way Xavier sent it through- but she did… ? Therefore, I’m pretty sure Stephenie was hinting that everyone who is anyone should bombard the casting agent with videos- guaranteed placement

Forgive us Stephenie, we have sinned... impure thoughts... about Edward Cullen (your new wallpaper!)

The one where we get all Biblical
Moon: so anyhoo because we were fashionably (read: frantically trying to find the room) late there were only 2 seats left and where were those?!
UC: and I, being the lovelier of the two, let you sit next to Stephenie. I took one for the team (mostly I’m just gonna use this for when we meet Rob. I’m on his lap, bitch)
Moon: please bitch i raced around to get that one
UC: i know.. you shoved me pretty hard. i have a big bruise
Moon: the elbow to your throat knocked you out for a few minutes but you came back around when i pulled out the Rob smelling salts (GQ pictures I keep handy just got moments like this) BUT can we just talk about how we sat at the RIGHT hand of stephenie. it’s biblical
UC: SO Biblical!
Moon: the right hand of the father or mother superior as it were we’re freaking John!
Moon: i wont guess which one of the fansites was judas ;)

Follow the cut for our EPIC first question!
Continue…

243 Commented


And even MORE Imma contest entries!

Dear Imma contest entrants and LTT-ers,

I know what you’re thinking “Wow, UC & Moon are SO lazy. They took advantage of the “Imma enter a Twilight contest contest” entries & have now posted them THREE days in a row as an excuse for a break from blogging.” And you would be right. We did this. Because bloggers are people too. And sometimes we get busy & need a break. Plus we’re lazy.

Since there were SO many good entries and since only two special folks could win AND since  we just happened to create fake categories that just happen to fit perfectly with some of the entries we’ve created fake prizes to show you just how much we love you. Cause we care. Sometimes.

Time for the funny…

Best entry featuring an American more popular in Germany than his home country

Kendall – You win the complete series of Baywatch on DVD and a private performance of “Hooked on a Feeling” by the Hoff himself! Lucky.

Best entry featuring an infomercial host who’s now in jail


JodieO – you win a free palm reading session with Jackson. He may not really be able to read palms but he definitely see’s a 100 Monkeys concert in your future

Follow the cut to see more entries!
Continue…

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The Internet Has Spoken: Twilight is Lame

Dear people who don’t live in a Twilight bubble (aka normal people, most people in the universe & people I should spend more time with),

Sometimes when I see/hear/think of things in the Twilight world that you are also seeing/hearing/experiencing without being in the Twilight bubble yourself, I get really 2nd-hand embarrassed. Like, it’s one thing for ME to go to see a band play who’s lead singer is the baby mama of the 2nd-cousin of the father of the dude who plays Jacob’s sister Rebecca’s husband and see a crazed fan with a Twilight-themed tattoo and her fake lesbian life partner holding all 4 books plus a print-out of Midnight Sun for the the lead singer to sign, but for “normal” people to see that? Or even KNOW it exists? I apologize on behalf of the fandom.

I recently came across this website that has a ‘guide’ for all things Twilight called, “The Internet has spoken: Twilight is lame.” I read what they posted; I laughed along with them, and then I covered my face in 2nd-hand embarrassment because THEY think WE ALL are crazy for liking Twilight and are ALL crazy fans. And now I’m sure ALL FOUR of their readers probably agree with them. So I’m gonna do what any respectable 2nd-hand embarrassed person would do- share the embarrassment with all of MY readers so that we can, once again, thank the Twilight god (Buttcrack Santa, of course, turned into a god after his ascension into heaven) that we can proudly exclaim about all our Twilight actions: “That’s Normal.” (All our actions except attending that 100Monkey’s show. That was not normal! )

Enjoy today’s Monday Funnies after the jump! Continue…

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