#RIPTwilight: The End is (far too) near

Dear LTT,

I hope you’ve been following along with our weekend via Twitter or Facebook. Let’s just say we got to meet THIS girl:

 

Oh yes. That’s Nutty Madam in the flesh (video to come!)

Just a quick run-down of today’s events. The red carpet starts at 4:30 pm PST, which means my heels go on around 2pm PST and I’ll start complaining about my feet hurting at 2:10 pm. The sun goes down at 4:52 pm tomorrow which means I’ll be complaining about being cold around 4:48 pm. We’ll be yelling at Mike Welch to stop cock-blocking Rob from the carpet around 7:25 pm PST.

To follow along with the shenanigans, please please please follow us on Twitter: @letter2twilight. That’s where we’ll be the most up-to-date! Facebook will be the close second for LTT craziness.

And you can WATCH the premiere (and hopefully catch a glimpse of us and our EPIC SURPRISE) starting at 4:30 pm PST via yahoo movies! (if the stream doesn’t show below go to: http://movies.yahoo.com/twilight)

We cannot wait to share stories & tales from a #RIPTwilight weekend to remember in the days to come! Wish you were all here to join in a big LTT group hug

xoxo,
UC & Moon

PS: Check back EARLY tomorrow am (12 ET/9 PST tonight) for a preview of Moon’s review of Breaking Dawn Part 2 (with NO spoilers!)

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New Moon premiering in Knoxville, TN

Knoxville1Dear City of Knoxville, TN,

Are you ready? Do you think you can handle the swarm of girls that will be lining up at your doors weeks in advance? Are your Motel 6′s all paid up on their electric bills so they can Keep the lights on for everyone rolling into town? Do you even have any idea what the hell I’m talking about? Oh. Let me start over. Apparently New Moon is premiering in your town. Are you prepared?

I know the article only mentions the movie showing early for a charity event, but already plans are set in motion. Blogs have commented on how odd the choice of Knoxville is (no offense) over Los Angeles but have praised the cast for going somewhere a little less flashy. Airline’s customer service lines have been busy all week with Twihards trying to change their November flights from LAX to, uh, KNOX (?), fighting with the customer service rep over the $200 change flight fee but deciding in the end that “it’s worth it” to see Robert Pattinson, up close and personal, in the deep south.

I, for one, understand completely why the execs at Summit decided to whisk the cast from sunny LA to the Redneck Riviera. Knoxville offers the cast the following advantages for their site seeing tour: Mullets, Wife Beaters, Bluegrass, RC Colas and Moon Pies, Lee Press-On Nails, Fanny Packs, and Chevy Pick-up Trucks with gun racks and rebel flag bumper stickers, versus the following disadvantages of what is sure to be seen in LA: Hipster man bangs, flannel or plaid pearl snap shirts, dj’s who mash up pop music and oldies, vegan food, minx, murses & Toyota Prius’. Are you prepared with Knoxville’s finest rednecks to greet ‘dem fellers from dat der big ocean in da west?

Note to Solomon: reliving the 'best moment of your life' (pic with Kstew) will not be happening again this year

Note to Solomon: reliving the 'best moment of your life' (pic with Kstew) will not be happening again this year

On second thought, how well are your Wal-Mart’s stocked with tissues? Because when the news breaks that the premiere isn’t actually in Knoxville but the movie is just showing a few days early to raise a lot of money for a good cause, the devastating cries from Twihards in their New Moon t-shirts, Pattinson pants & Wolfpack tiny backpacks will be heard from downtown Knoxville all the way to Paris, Texas. Heck, once everyone finds out that instead of their beloved Edward, Bella & Jacob, Summit sent Gill Birmingham, Christian Serratos & a random wolf to represent the event, I wouldn’t even be surprised if there’s a riot amongst the city of tents painted with murals of shirtless Edward.  I bet that once a bus rolls up in front of the theatre the rioters will calm for a moment thinking that Sam Bradley has come to serenade the crowd with soulful tunes, but when they find out it’s just Solomon Trimble on the greyhound crashing the show, the riots will begin again. Are you prepared?

Perhaps you should reissue a statement in your newspaper clarifying that when you say “Although confirmation of the Knoxville premiere of the movie is set” you actually mean a Knoxville premiere (aka first time showing in Knoxville) and not the New Moon premiere that is being whispered all over the web.  That way, you can save your police force the trouble of calming down the riots that are sure to begin when Solomon Trimble shows up as the “star” for the event. You don’t want your city experiencing the 2nd-hand embarrassment of Twihard-girl-on-twihard-girl mud wrestling, winner being the one who gets to ask Solomon to autograph her left breast, if you don’t have to.

Bring home some moonpies for me,
UnintendedChoice

PS: before you southerners call me a “damn yank” and get mad at my poking fun of Knoxville, all those references came from EastFriend, who is a southern girl born & raised. Get mad at her. Just don’t tell her you love UT. Then she’ll be mad at you.

Did you see this posted places and think people were silly for assuming that the actual premiere would be moved to Knoxville like we did?

The Forum is a great place to discuss football rivalries
LTR is a great place to discuss Rob. Actually, anywhere is a great place to discuss Rob, sigh…

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