Jimmy Fallon is SUCH a Twilight fanboy!

Nouget-about-it!

Dear Jimmy Fallon,

First off I heart your show! If anyone had to take the late night spot of my beloved Conan, I’m glad its you. While your hair doesn’t stand up to the fabulous red heights of CoCo’s beautiful soft serve ice cream cone of a hairdo, your humor does. I cant tell you how many times me and my friends yell out “BOTHERED” on a daily basis or “hungerectomy” (when you get your hunger removed, naturally) or “snacklish” (I learned my first word in Snacklish: it’s BOTHERED!) and beg everyone we know to visit Robertisbothered.com just so they can participate in the awesomeness of “pumpkins are dumb fat squashes!” Now, we originally thought you were jumping on the Twilight/Rob bandwagon because it’s the (sorta, if you’re a major nerd like us) hip thing right now and heck, if we’re all honest anything Twilight will get you mad viewers.

But I was so wrong.

but really what's it like being with EDWARD CULLEN?! Does he really sparkle?

You didn’t make Robertisbothered.com or have Taylor and Kristen on your show just because you wanted viewers. You did it cause you’re SUCH A FANBOY!!! It’s alright to admit it, I watched your interviews with both Kristen and Taylor and I could see it in your eyes. You had the look of a Twimom who’d been standing in line at a Hot Topic for 10 days just to get the new Jacob doll or to get your DVD signed by Bob the Electrician #3 on the film. Trust me, I’m a seasoned professional Twilight outer, I can see this stuff a mile away.  So when you started acting all nervous and dorky (more than usual) around Kristen I knew you had it BAD. You talked about the good stuff like Bon Iver (though KStew didn’t know the backstory) and you had her throw footballs at plates (aka what the UC & Moon’s talk show would consist of) I just wished you had freaked her and Taylor out with some super creepo detailed fan questions such as:

  • “So have you thought about how you’re going to act out a half human, half vampire baby is eating its way out of your uterus?
  • Seriously, fade to black?! Don’t you agree Kristen, Stephenie Meyer is such a cock block there?!
  • Taylor, you’re gonna imprint on a newborn baby, don’t you find it funny that after protecting you for the last year, Chris Hansen is gonna be chasing after YOU now?! Cause I’m dying thinking of the irony here.
  • So what’s Buttcrack Santa really like!? SPILL!

Read the rest and watch some videos of awesomeness after the cut

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Monday Funnies AND Stuff Guys say about Twilight: other stuff mutemathguy says

Dear LTT-ers -

Another Monday is upon us and I’m in the middle of a Twilight comic/funny stuff drought, so I’ve decided to bring you a hybrid Monday Funnies and Stuff Guys say about Twilight, featuring one of our most prolific Twilight thinkers: mutemathguy. It’ll always surprise me the stuff that guys will think and say about Twilight, and I think that’s one of the reasons we love our resident Unicorns so much- they bring such a different perspective on our favorite books and movie!

So in an effort to stave off the Monday blues… here’s another round of Stuff Guys say about Twilight with our pal mutemathguy.

One day out of nowhere I receive this message…

mutemathguy: it would have been funner if their last names were “Acula”
themoonisdown: acula?
mutemathguy: then that Dad would be Dr. Acula… you know…..like on scrubs?
SILENCE… time lapse of a few moments
mutemathguy: DRACULA?
mutemathguy: do you want me to draw this out with crayons?
themoonisdown: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
themoonisdown: no i havent watched scrubs ;)

Another day…

mutemathguy: kristen stewart is a retard
mutemathguy: i was watching an interview
themoonisdown: which one??
mutemathguy: i have no idea
themoonisdown: letterman was probably her low point
mutemathguy: hahaha
mutemathguy: ok i’m watching it now
mutemathguy: oh my god
mutemathguy: shes high as hell
themoonisdown: HAHAHAHA, the part about driving from london to russia!?
themoonisdown: dear god, shes so awkward to watch. it’s like watching yourself being interviewed in jr high
mutemathguy: yea
Watching another video apparently…
mutemathguy: the dude is english
themoonisdown: are you watching kristen? or rob now?
mutemathguy: rob
mutemathguy: man, those two are a whiskey cocaine bomb waiting to go off

Just say no to drugs kids! Even if today’s particularly heinous!
XO
themoonisdown

PS A HUUUUGE HUUUGGGEEE THANK YOU for all the birthday well wishes, pics, videos, funny comments, and to Summit for sending Rob back to LA on Saturday to be at my party. I couldn’t ask for sweeter sentiments or nicer folks to read our blog. I wish I knew you all in real life so I could give you a huge (fake lesbian) smooch and a hug… but I can’t, so just imagine me hugging the computer screen and smiling like an idiot. XO!

UC – thank you for organizing the best blog posts and birthday wishes. I wish we could have celebrated together. Just keep chanting it: “next year! next year!” You are truly the best and I couldn’t ask for a better bloggy partner in crime. No one else can bring the funny like you. XO

The Quad- thank you for helping create the raddest blog post ever ABOUT ME! Everyone should have the chance to hear their pals tell them all the things they like about you. I may or may not have printed that out and made it into a tshirt to wear on bad days. Oh and where do I send your bribe payments? SPECIAL HUGS!

Watch the Kristen Stewart Letterman interview for a laugh… or at least a few cringe-worth momets to start your week off right!
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