Hey Twilight, Let me introduce you to these things called cell phones!

Even this thing would have worked

Dear Twilight,

Don’t you think a lot of the mishaps in the Twilight books and films could have been circumvented if these people had cell phones? I mean the books came out in 2006, I’m pretty sure most of us at least had some sort of cheesy flip phone or one of those nokia bricks still. Couldn’t the Cullens with infinite resources, enough to procure a car that wasn’t even in production, spring for the family plan at AT&T?

The Cullen's or Robert Pattinson in 30 years?

Is it just because they’re so old? It’s like my grandparents who leave the house and forget their cell phone and then wonder why no one calls… it’s because we did call but your phone was at home sitting next to the phone ON THE WALL!!! I gotta believe that old vampires who are super into cars and flying around and whatnot would be all about technology… I mean they can’t even sleep what else would you do at 3am besides vacillate between Fruit Ninja and Instagram?

What ever happened to this phone?! Did she get a replacement?

If Charlie put Bella on his family plan and gave the girl a cell he probably could have gotten ahold of her one of the fifty times she ran away and left a note. Sure you don’t have to answer it but you can trace that shit! And what girl in her right mind in 2011 (or 2006ish) is gonna leave home with the celly? Nevermind you might miss a call from EDWARD the hottest dude alive who likes you, who’s going to be driving late at night on slick roads in Forks with crazies chasing you and not have a cell? That’s just common SAFE sense.

This moment = in the top 3 dumbest things Edward ever did

Also what if (movie) Edward hasn’t been a dumbass and crushed his phone before flying off to get himself killed by the Volturi, maybe Bella could have gotten ahold of him and been like “dude, you just got punk’d by Jacob, I’m not dead, don’t do anything stupid like try to commit Vampire suicide. Now get back to Forks and do me cause it’s pretty clear you love me hard.” That’s totally what she’d say. We could have totally saved all those carbon emissions they burned off flying to Italy then stealing a gas guzzling car, letting it idle and then ditching it? This isn’t even a safety or stupidity issue, now it’s a GREEN issue! Capt. Planet would be so disappointed.

Yo Bella, shit's about to go down!

Or imagine if Alice and Jasper had a cell while they were off traipsing through South America looking for Nahuel (did I even spell that right? Sometimes I forget he exists). The could have called once they found him and said don’t do anything stupid we found some proof that Renesmee isn’t an abomination unto the Volturi and we can sorta prove it and maybe people won’t die. But no, we have to convene the UN of vampires and have a non showdown in the Cullen’s backyard all because no one could commit to a two year contract with a mobile carrier of their choice. D-U-M-B.

Can you hear me now??

Srsly, is it things like that make you crazy when you read the books or even watch the movies? This is like another level version of the blue shirt/khaki shirt for me. I mean I GET IT why they’re not really used but COME ON!

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65 Commented

A love hate relationship with Summit

I’m back from vacation- Moon is now in Switzerland for a few days- her last stop before returning HOME to ME (well, back to L.A. but only 2,500 miles from me) but I’m still on this little “blog break” mostly because I can’t really function until Moon is home to discuss THIS with me OMG! Don’t worry- I found a REALLY OLD letter submitted last year (see I really do hang on to them all!) that I should have posted. Oh plus a video- so don’t miss that below!

Dear Summit,

I have a love-hate relationship with you. I’m getting worried that it is going to turn into a hate-hate relationship sooner rather than later. Why is this so, you ask? Is it because you replaced my beloved Victoria with Opie’s daughter for New Moon? Could it be all those rumors, once circulating but now thankfully resolved, that it might happen again with Emmett and Alice? Eh, maybe. I think my real problem with our relationship is that you aren’t enough of a tease (I know, I know, stick with me here).

Think back with me to pre-November 2008. I was a senior in college and psyched out of my mind to be going to a midnight premiere in my little college town for Twilight. Fast forward to pre-November 2009. The small little college town theater was now showcasing New Moon on all 12 of its screens, tickets were available two weeks before the midnight show, and Nordstrom had an entire clothing line devoted to this phenom. What happened in that one year span of time? Oh, right. You sold out to that dirty little tramp we all like to call: mainstream media.

Just when I thought I might be able to keep a nerdy little obsession between myself and a few close friends, you blew the lid of my secret like Big Daddy losing the brown paper bag he was using to try to hide his Filet-o-Fish from Taylor in. The only thing I can think of to bring on the sudden onslaught of fans is the fact that you refused to heed our advice and wear your purity ring at all times. Because of this, I’m pretty sure I saw half of New Moon & Eclipse before they were out. What is that about? I understand your need to “sell tickets”, but come on! Seriously? That 10 second teaser of Edward and Bella kissing was enough to keep me drooling for more! And now, it seems, you are about to do that very same thing to me with Breaking Dawn. It started out small. Just a trailer here and there. A still shot from the set. A tweet from our resident little person. But now that everyone’s starting to run the promotion gamut, it seems like there is something new to watch every time I log in to LTT. That is just not cool. I know there are those out there who are probably going to disagree with me and give me crap for this, but I really just want to experience that cinematic magic that is slowly but surely being choked to death by the desire to make money. Believe me, I understand the desire to make and/or have money (anyone else jobless out there? Holla!), but could you, just once, think about those of us who want a little surprise in our lives and not give us 50 trailers, 500 interviews, and 1000 set stills to choose from? I’ve already seen every trailer, clip, still shot, and interview out there and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be good with those till November. So, please, for the sake of all that is good and right in the world, save a me a little somethin’ somethin’ to look forward to (TWSS). Thank you. *steps down off soapbox*


Oh Sarah…. I know how you feel. I’ve had the rants, myself & am doing my best to say “pure” even though Summit & the rest of the Media CLEARLY doesn’t want me to. I need SOMETHING to look forward to in November- I want my Breaking Dawn experience to be like my first Twilight viewing- SO new!!!

But until then…. I’ll watch fan-made videos because we all know they are so much better than anything the professionals release!!

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46 Commented

Friday Funnies! Chris Weitz likes the best videos. EVER!

Dear LTT-ers,

I don’t know about you all but today is a big day… it is Good Friday for those who celebrate and it is also the LA stop on the Railroad Revival Tour so I am busy celebrating, remembering, singing and eating Five Guys (the restaurant, pervs). BUUTTT I thought we should take a second to have a laugh courtesy of Chris Weitz and his Twitter. At some point (who knows when) he tweeted a link to his favorite funny Twilight video. It just happens to come from The Onion so you KNOW it’s gonna be gooood.

Sit back for a minute enjoy this and have a wonderful Holiday weekend.

Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation’s Capitol To Spare Life Of ‘Twilight’ Author

Worse than when Sam phased and slashed his beloved Emily in the face” and the terroist in a Twilight tshirt?! Someone’s a HIGH-larious fan at the Onion. It’s so much win that I can’t even quote all my favorite parts… It’s like they wire tapped a Twihard event, or just copied word for word Twibloggers posts from the nets.

Happy Holiday Weekend to Everyone! TGIF!

Source: The Onion

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store


41 Commented

Only Taylor Should’ve Played Jacob: Guess the wolf’s outta the bag

One thing I love about LTT-friend Team Seth is that she doesn’t “get” Rob Pattinson. She reminds me that the fandom is SO varied and not everyone thinks every single Twilight actor is God’s gift to the us & the world! Today she leads us in an appreciation of Taylor Lautner:

Taylor's got committment

Dear Taylor,

First off, major high five! Second, I know that we here on LTT sometimes, oftentimes, make fun of you for silly things like meat patties and catching grapes while doing back flips, but honestly we’re all behind you. It’s a matter of you being underage when we first got to know you, then you were smoking hot and we all felt dirty, like when your friend’s little brother turns 17 and it’s suddenly like “Wow, where did he come from?” Like Jeremy in Vampire Diaries, except that Bonnie isn’t over 18. Anyway, you can understand that I’m sure. Chris Hansen is creepy, you know. Plus, I know that we tend to talk more about your dad and how much we want to have sit downs with him over bread sticks and unlimited soup and salad lunch, and we don’t really want you there. I know that’s a little rude. But we stood by you through Swiftner! We accepted you after seeing Shark Boy and Lava Girl with our 7 year olds. And on a personal note, I HATE the Red Wings, but I’m willing to accept that you’re a fan due to where you’re from. That’s fine. I get it, really I do. (Go Canucks!)

But, I want to just get down to it and say, you’re the only one of the trilogy who really put your all into the role. And bravo for that! I’m so tired of people defending Rob for his mediocre efforts at becoming Sparta. This is Sparta. But you nailed it! You put in the effort. You ate meat patties and put in the gym time to get an 12-pak washboard ab set. You bulked up. You tried, and you kept it up. You respect C-Dubs’ wishes and followed through. Which is a truly classy and professional thing to do. You wore jorts in British Columbia other than in July heat waves. With rain pouring down on you. You committed. Rob did NOT commit. And I’m done, I am so done with these women who say that he has a Spartacus body in New Moon. He does not. He actually looks totally creepy. Like wtforks is this?

Sure there’s no pot belly, nor does he look like a topless Billy Burke (sorry, Billy, still love you!) But he’s gray and completely lacking pectorals and arm muscles. Seriously, where are his pecs? He looks like a fourteen year old! And I’m not knocking on Rob’s hotness, just his lack of commitment to the role.

No one's gonna argue about THIS

Sure, call him the HHH, ladies. Do what you must. I’ll agree, this is hot, and of course his NM shirtless moment is EONS ahead of this (shudder!). But the role commitment is just not there. Not like you, Taylor. And since there’s an entire site dedicated to letters to Rob and his hobo chic awesomeness (or whatever), I want you to know that you and your efforts are appreciated.

I know you’re not doubting your mad skills given the amount of big girl panties that have been thrown in your face. But honestly, Taylor, I think you’re the only one who nailed it. You ARE Jacob. I can’t imagine anyone but you as Jake… maybe put you on stilts, but other than that…and that’s just a technicality. And you and I both know that I’m not Team Jacob, that I don’t think Jacob and Bella should be together, and that I don’t lust after you in bed at night (that’s reserved for David Tennant and Ian Smolderholder).

"I want to thank Disney... for teaching me to smile & speak like a robot..."

But I respect you. Maybe you’re not “world’s best actor”, but that’s fine. You’re young and Disney channel groomed, and having worked at Disney myself for a few years, I know what that’s about. I get it. I understand your overtly PC and vague responses, your extremely bright smile, and your uncomfortableness with answering questions in a creative way. I totally understand, because I’ve been through that training too. It’s fine. And I don’t care if you come out in a year or so, or if you’re actually straight. I just don’t care, because you nailed it as Jacob. And I really think here on LTT we overlook that.

Not only did you commit physically to the role, you also worked with the ebb and flow of Jacob’s emotions. You made the switch when the wig came off. Jacob transformed from a sweet little Native American boy into a man. A man who wouldn’t accept that Bella didn’t appreciate him or recognize her feelings for him. That she was too caught up in her memory of Mr. Gray Marble Sparklepeen who LEFT HER for no real reason (that he happened to mention at the time) to even take notice of the fact that she was more or less gonna make out with you like 20 different times. Kind of ridiculous, right? Anyway, you as an actor took that energy, that longing to be human again and that werewolf rage, and you made it real. Believable. I applaud you. So, when we discussed who should’ve played Bella, I felt we ought to mention the fact that only YOU should’ve played Jacob.

Just friends

But I’ll close with this, Taylor. If you can pull off the relationship I envisioned between Jake and Nessie when reading the books, which was quite tasteful and sweet, then I think you might deserve a Best Supporting for that, and NOT at the MTV Awards, but at some real awards show. If anyone is trained and ready to field all the underage sexy times interview questions involving the supposed toddler love, it’s you, Taylor. You’ll laugh, look down, then back up with a serious face and say something along the lines of,

“Well, actually Jacob’s just imprinted on her. Imprinting doesn’t mean you have romantic feelings for the person, just that you understand her exact needs. It’s kind of like an intuition. So, if Renesme, say, wants to play My Little Ponies, Jacob will anticipate this need. It’s nothing romantic, it’s like he’s her awesome babysitter who totally gets her. As she grows up and her needs change, he will anticipate this too. So ultimately they will most likely end up together, but that’s in the far future.”

Then interviewer will then ask, “So, Edward might be Jacob’s father-in-law, is that going to be weird given the past between you guys?” and you will say, “No, I mean, isn’t that what every father wants for his daughter–a husband who will treat her exceptionally well and always love her and provide her with what she wants?” I have full faith in you, kid. So, keep on keepin’ on! And just think, your meat patty days are quickly coming to a close!

With high regards,

Team Seth

What do you think? Is Taylor going to do us proud with his portrayal of Jacob? Will Chris Hansen be on stand-by, waiting for his moment to knock on Taylor’s trailer door?

Contest Update: Moon & I haven’t had time to talk ALL WEEKEND LONG so we haven’t picked a winner from last week’s contest yet! We will pick shortly & announce the winner soon! THANKS to everyone who has entered. The entries we’ve read so far are amazing & it’s hard to choose a favorite!

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198 Commented

It’s the small things – scenes in Twilight

(our lil UC is sicko so bear with me while I double post in her absence)

Dear Twilight movie franchise (yes, all of you),

The other night at the Iron & Wine concert I had a moment. I won’t even say I was a fan long before the song was in Twi but WHATEVER, I HAD A MOMENT. Sam Beam sang “Flightless Bird” mostly a capella as his encore and I’d be lying if I wasn’t mentally whisked away to that gazebo at the prom with Bella and Edward dancing under the twinkling lights. Of all the song and scene pairing I think that is by far the one I link together the most and really just one of my favorite scenes. And (of course) that got me to thinking what about my other favorite scenes. What will I smile and think about long after all the movies have been released and we’ve been put out to the blogging pasture?

I kinda think it’s gonna be more about the little moments to me… Bella’s feet on Edward’s feet in the prom scene or maybe…

After being confronted by a curious Bella about his eye color and wondering whether he got contacts, Edward awkardly mumbles and turns around to leave down the hallway. Way to totally draw attention to it dude! But then we wouldn’t have the arms holding the jacket or the BACK in that tshirt. Yes, this is a great moment.

Not in the book but definitely one of my faves little moments in Eclipse features Edward bro-ing up with Jacob after the kiss and Papa Swan having to step in.

From UC’s sick bed she tells me that this is one of her faves…

Jacob and Bella’s “it’s not a lifestyle choice” walk on First Beach at La Push. Jacob (Taylor) looks about 20 years older thus making us not feel so bad for crushing him as much as we do.

There are about a billion little moments in the Twilight movies that make me smile, make me laugh and make me sigh. Can’t it just be November already and the wait will be over so we can begin finding our new favorite little moments in Breaking Dawn? Ugh, the unfairness of it all.

Ohhh and before we go I have one more favorite little moment…… follow the cut


230 Commented

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