French New Moon to be noticably sexier!

Dear Non-French speaking LTT-ers,

The trailer for New Moon in French was recently released and I’m sad to say our version pales in comparision. No, no there are no new scenes or added dialogue or anything that’s noticably different from the English language version. In fact nothing’s different beside the fact that the dialogue is in French.

Now I don’t know if this is just an American thing or what but shiz like English accents and boys who speak hot languages like French are automitcally sexier than their average no accent having male counterparts even if they’re the biggest nerds to walk the planet. Case in point: that Rob Pattinson guy.

UC and I watched the French trailer together (surprise, we do nothing alone. Not even pee. I call her on the phone on my way to the bathroom) and we have to say we’re thouroughly impressed with this French version. Imagine the time and effort it took them to not only learn French but also film the movie TWICE in English and French! And even more amazing is the fact that even though French isn’t their first language it’s delievered better than their English language version!

Ok, ok we kid… it’s Sunday and we’re extra silly on Sundays so here’s what we really said when discussing the French trailer and as you’ll see we derail at the end… as all our conversations do. Oops

moon: So what about this French version of the New Moon trailer? Thoughts?
uc: oh yes… it’s HOT. why does it sound so hot!?
moon: Jheycaaaob NOOO (thats my french voice online)
moon: its all the breathy voices and french words
moon: you know the real french dude who does edwards lines is really a fat old balding creepy French dude
uc: hahahaha seriously
uc: telling all the ladies at the bar that he’s the sexy french voice of edward cullen
moon: thats his pick up line when in actuality he looks like amanDUH’s husband
uc: YES!!!! he sooo does! it IS amanduh’s husabnd
uc: she’s banking on his success to launch her carrer
moon: she wants to be the french bella. but french bella is actually cathy hardwicke’s grandma
uc: hahahaha
uc: did you SEE the black tshirt pics moon?
uc: so freaking hot
  the Vneck!
  the ARMS!?
  a slight TAN!?
  the BUTTONS?
  oh yeah
moon: YES! the v neck
 the pants the button fly
moon: i really want to rip the buttons open
moon: wait, what were we talking about?

Enjoy French Edward!
Themoonisdown

Don’t forget our special place just for Rob goodness
The Forum

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The Inevitable New Merchandise for New Moon

Dear Twi-hards,

With the release of New Moon fast approaching (146 days!), it was only a matter of time before the machine started rolling out new merchandise for fans to buy. After all Hot Topic almost single handedly saved the economy back in February. And we really can’t be losing anymore mall stores. Where else will I find my neon green tutu’s, Mario Brothers shirts and gothic parasols?  I mean, there goes my whole wardrobe, right? But never fear we’re just now getting a glimpse of the goodies to come that might just save the entire United States economy. Fingers crossed.

shirt

WOOOOOWWW just in case you wanted to go hunting and be camouflaged but also show how much you love Twilight, we have this lovely shirt. To our country friends, this will look nice while you’re out hunting deer with Jethro and the boys and if you’re lucky enough you’ll be wearing this on the next season of Red Neck Weddings!

NMdeskcalendar
Don’t you hate it when you’re at work and just about to close the BIG deal and can’t remember what date it is? I know I do! But after I get this handy little desk calender I can look confidently at the client and say, why yes it IS exactly one month and 3 days till my life is complete and New Moon comes out October 17th! Thank God I had this calendar or we couldn’t have made this million dollar deal! Great doing business with you!

barbiedolls
So Barbie Bella and Ken Edward dolls are like the complete antithesis of Malibu Barbie and Ken. Instead of tans they have pale, sparkly skin. Instead of the pink corvette Bella has the broke down beater truck. Instead of skin bearing bikini’s and swim trunks it’s coverage from head to toe. And instead of a Dream House on the beaches of Malibu, it’s a middle class house in rainy Forks, Washington. My only question is: what about the Bob Mackie designed raincoats and the Quielute addition to the “Barbies Around the World” collection? Mattel, you totally dropped the ball on this one!

nmlipvenom
Lip Venom, guys really? I remember this stuff from like Seventeen Magazine in the 90s. It was supposed to plump up your lips to give it that “bee stung” look. The whole concept is off, first of all who wants to be stung when putting on lip gloss? And not surprisingly the product failed and went away. But now that Vampires are the hip thing, why not trot this little diddy out again but with a new spin: Plump your lips up with the venom of a vampire! Close your eyes, dream a little dream, click your heels together and say “there’s no place like Forks” and wait for the magic of the venom to turn you into an immortal. Then you and Edward can be together forever, cause we know that’s what you dream about. Seriously, we know. We watched the movie.

When are we gonna get a Jacob action figure? Or a temporary vampire bite tattoo? Or an official Charlie Swan stick on Mustache?

Would you buy any of this?
Themoonisdown

Don’t forget to vote in the Wanna Tappa Vampa (our fake sorority) and the Twi Sisterhood’s PORN OFF! EVERY VOTE COUNTS!! Yes we can!

Read our review of Rob in The Bad Mother’s Handbook at LTR
Chat about it in The Forum!

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Instead of a New Moon, Cam Gigandet has a Five Star Day

You ripped me apart and burned the pieces... I gotta say, I'm kinda hurt

You ripped me apart and burned the pieces... I gotta say, I'm kinda hurt

Dear Cam-

Since the MTV movie awards Sunday night I haven’t been able to get your out of my head. From the black peacoat slash waistcoat thing to the black ass kicking boots and the way you stared longingly at Robert Pattinson during the Best Fight Award acceptance speech, I knew I had to forgive you. I mean you are Kevin Volchok from The OC after all, the crazy cokey face creepo surfer who befriended Marissa only to later kill her by ramming your car into Ryan’s in an attempt to “convince her to talk to you!” Smart move dudes. I’ll never get how Ryan thought that would end well and decided to keep speeding up to lose you only to be pushed over the cliff. But alas it was The OC and you were Volchok and Ryan was Ryan Atwood and if he thought punching someone in the face at a mother/daughter fashion show or driving a car over a cliff was a good idea, than he did it.  But I guess that’s a letter for our fake site Letterstotheoc.com. Instead, I’m going to call a truce with you Cam. That’s right, I no longer think you’re a crazed maniac who keyed the Cohen’s car or the awful vampire who steals a video camera from Bella’s house and fake kidnaps her mom. You’re Cam, sensitive muscles for hire.

Would Volchok wear a coat like this?! Heck would ROB?! He's looking like a waiter at TGIFridays and I stepped off the runway. Forgive me!

Would Volchok wear a coat like this?! Heck would ROB?! He's looking like a waiter at TGIFridays and I stepped off the runway. Forgive me!

Why the change of heart, you ask? Well I think there may be a softer gentler side of Cam that we haven’t seen yet but we’re about to. Recently I saw the trailer for a movie called Five Star Day which features you as Jake, the guy who after having the crappiest day in his life, sets out to disprove astrology and I quote:

Astrology: a propaganda campaign of bullshit

Real talk! But I guess somewhere along the way you meet people like Jena Malone (in a serious pixie hairdo) who change your outlook on life for the better and all to a killer soundtrack. Seriously, you know me and movie soundtracks.

So dear Cam can we call it a truce? Can we let bygones be bygones and murderous surfer dudes be murderous surfer dudes? Let’s move past all that trying to kill Bella and fight Edward stuff! I mean originally I heard you were supposed to play Emmett and if that’s the case than I would have been writing this a long time ago but I guess you won’t be around for anymore Twilight movies, so I’ll have to settle for seeing you elsewhere like in Five Star Day and on my DVD collection of The OC.

Welcome to the Olympic Peninsula, Bitch! (that’s the last OC reference I SWEAR!)
Themoonisdown

Check out the trailer for Five Star Day…

go to the Website: fivestarday.com
subscribe on YouTube

Oh and PS if you didn’t get all those OC references where have you been living?! Go get the DVDs NOW! That show and our love of Adam Brody is one of the things that brought UC and I together.

-Don’t forget about UC’s trip to NYC this weekend, read her plans at LTR
-Are you in LA and wanna hang with ME and some of your other LTT/LTR favorites at the Sam Bradley show?? Check the forum Meetup section!
-Oh and why don’t you be a good pal and clicky on our brand spanking new ad up there for Bella’s jacket!

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