Happy extended Christmas vacay!!

Dear LTT-ers,

So we’re all still recovering from the holidays, I’m spending time with a sick family member and UC is digging her way out of a snowstorm/blizzard whatever you east coasters call them, I don’t know. So we will be in and out this week posting here and there but wanted to give you a heads up and leave some discussion tidbits from the twidom to ponder….

  • Stephenie Meyer celebrated her 21st birthday (you’re welcome) on Christmas Eve by either listening to every Muse album front to back or ordering Pancho to give her a hand massage. Or both.


So when does it stop becoming an “outtake” and we all just acknowledge this dude has maybe 4 bad pictures to his name? The jerk.

Hope your Christmas was fan-damn-tabulous and you’re enjoying the down time with family and friends… we’ll be coming back atcha with some end of the year stuff this week and of course we’re on it if anything late breaking happens (Taylor grows a couple inches).

Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

Sooooo discuss… any fantbulous Christmas stories or deals you got the day after to share?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTRThe ForumTwitterThe Store

50 Commented


News Dump, All the Twilight news fit to print: Breaking Dawn and it’s newbies

Just one of the 9823489234 photoshoots this girls been in. Clearly, Alice chose this tophat

Dear LTT-ers

Remember when we started talking about the newbies and the cat and the Ice Truck Killer who were cast in Breaking Dawn? Well, there’s like a butt ton more and we can’t even be bothered with learning them all until they’re seen out with one of the holy trinity at a 100 Monkeys concert and they’re caught in a lurid embrace with a LOD fan club member. BUUTTT there’s a lot of news out about them right now so it’s time for a round of a News Dumo, where we round up all the news they’re in and bring it to you here in one place… with our LTT spin of course!

  • Who hired an escape convict to play a wolfpack member? Hide yo children.
  • Is this dude hot? I can’t figure it out… yes…. no???? yes??? Maybe in that boy in your 10th grade homeroom kind of way? Also wtf does Peter do? Man, I need to brush up on my Breaking Dawn trivia.
  • Remember when Rob had a mullet in that made for TV movie “Ring of Nibelungs?” Why do I get the feeling she was an extra?
  • The fact that this photo was taken like minutes from my house makes me want to punch someone. Thanks for the warning David Slade.
  • Rob and Kristen are gonna have fake sex in Brazil. Start planning your South American vacations now, Robsteners!!! (if you just added Brazil to your travel website alerts after reading this, you’re on “The List”)
  • Ok, he’s not a newbie but we can always use some Robert Pattinson, with a director talking about some school holiday we don’t understand, in our lives

So which of these newbies should we care about enough to start following? Which Vamp witnesses have a big part in the story? And should we start rereading Breaking Dawn together?

Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

99 Commented


Breaking it down: McAdams loves Sheen and some other Twilight news

Dear LTT-ers,

Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams are an item. I KNOW! And then Tinsel tweeted Gil. Right? And then we told some jokes. And then we broke it down… SURPRISE. So if you haven’t been over to LTR today then let me be the first to tell you this is a double break down day! We hit Rob and now we’re hitting half the cast of Twilight over here… enjoy!

Moon: DUDE we need to talk about micheal sheen with rachel mcadams cause….DAAAAMN SON!!
UC
: YES let’s break THAT shizz down!
Moon
: ok theres a video i watched last night and im treying to find it
UC
: sex vid?
Moon
: hahaha dont we wish
UC
: haha… ONLY if it’s her and The Gos
Moon
: that would blow the robsten magicness out of the water… but whatever theres the proof… can we talk about how he SCORED! i mean hellllooooo rachel mcadams and it says he was with kate beckinsale before this! DUDE
UC
: I KNOW.. what is UP with Michael!? Magical British PeeN? Wait WELSH… he’s WELSH
Moon
: magic WELSH peen who knew?? so im think rachel is a HUGE closet twihard, right?
UC
: oh HUGE
Moon
: and shes just using micheal for either a chance at being in breaking dawn or a chance at getting closer to rob
UC
: its’ what she talks about with michael (and Kate’s) daughter Lily it’s the ONLY reasonable explanation. or to steal something from Lily’s collection
Moon
: thats their bonding time, breaking down breaking dawn with an 11 yr old
UC
: she has Mike’s cape, signed by Stephenie
Moon
: do you think she makes micheal wear his long aro wig when they have sexy times? cause she likes the OLD vamps?
UC
: Yes She does that move from the Notebook and he pulls off her panty hose then she pulls his hair
UC:
clearly I’ve read a fic….Say IT OUTLOUD she yells in a passionate moment, then he does-

BELLER IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

UC: BELLER IS ALIVE!
Moon: BELLER IS ALIVE!
Moon:
Jinx!! this is our next fic we write we only do real life fics
UC
: please write a mini one for tomorrow
Moon
: cause we’re twisted… hhahaha NO

The one where we talk about the Notebook
Moon:
if this is a secret plot to get into breaking dawn, who does she want to be????
UC
: Tanya is taken… and that’s who I’d guess
Moon
: Renesmee??? she has to be team jacob she heard they were using CGI stuff so why not?
UC
: Right she’s got a young innocent face
Moon
: then her and jacob can be all notebook noah and allie in the ocean at first beach

UC: yes- Jake can get a canoe out on the ocean. And it’s the Pacific northwest- it’s bound to rain

Ruff ruff!

Moon: right and he’s like i just want to show you one thing… and it’s a ton of werewolves swimming in the ocean since he couldnt get geese
UC
: doing the doggie paddle
Moon
: i hope BooBoo can swim
UC
: hahah i just heard krazy kidd saying that in my head
BOW BOW
Moon
: hahahabobo hahahaa

Follow the cut for the rest of our break down
Continue…

1 Commented


Breaking it Down: JoeAshley??

Dear UC & Moon,

I have been a fan of your blogs for almost two years now. You ladies are AMAZING!!! Although, I hate to admit, I am a total fan fail. I don’t comment on posts, I tried to join the forum but that only lasted 3 days (Fuck Me Fridays should come with a warning label-but I did manage to score Buttcrack Santa status in those few short days), and I have only emailed you twice during our relationship together (if I remember correctly, I actually admitted to you I sexually harassed my boss…please don’t talk to his lawyer if he calls). But I credit you with so much in my real life – I found a place where I could go to escape when I needed to take a break from RL, by reading (lurking) your sites I found the strength and courage to make a HUGE move this year professionally and personally, and you have ALWAYS allowed me to start each and every day with a smile (well until you pulled that “we are only posting 3 or 4 times a week shizz). In my eyes, everything you ladies do is FABULOUS and you are Blog Goddesses!!!

Until now…..

I am disappointed in you. There I’ve said it. I feel like the little girl who has held her daddy up on a pedestal and then at the age of 13 attends a junior high Alcohol and Drug Awareness program only to come away with the realization that daddy is always in a good mood for a reason.

Allow me to explain. I feel as though you have missed an opportunity to break-it down. I have totally been cheated of a breaking it down post!!! Perhaps, Rob’s shenanigans have had you overwhelmed and busy (Road Trip, London, and the beard-yep he’s been a busy boy *insert sarcasm link here*). Well, since you ladies have had your hands full and completely overlooked the most important news in the TwiFandom since Nikki caught a VD from Paris (I know it is true because you ladies would never spread untrue or disparaging remarks about Lady Reed- yep *insert sarcasm link* again), I will take over and break it down myself cause my daddy always told me if you want something done you have to do it yourself. Yep, he said this every time my mom came home from the grocery store without a case of Michelob.

Breaking It Down (kinda) – JoeAshley

A JoBro couldn’t possibly know how to handle this!!!

I had heard rumblings of Ashley Green being wooed by Joe Jonas (seriously?). Like so many others I dismissed this as just another Perez Hilton ecstasy induced delusion.

Then a picture was released of the two of them actually together. I decided this definitely needed further investigation so I immediately went the experts – LTT. If there was any truth to these nasty rumors about Ashley, the fab duo of UC and Moon would surely have a post about it. NOTHING. So I dismissed this as just a business luncheon between Ms. Green and Mr. Jonas to discuss their upcoming movie “Camp Rock 7” in which Ashley will be starring as the camp counselor in charge of body paintings.

 

Then a week later yet another pic was posted of Ashley attending a JoBro concert?? This from the same girl who attended the Kings of Leon concert??? I was so confused and out of sorts that I again sought the wisdom of the pros at LTT. And once again…NADA. So I rationalized – she was just in town with nothing/no one better to do so she decided attending would be a good way to build a great working relation with her soon-to-be costar.

Just when I thought this whole thing was over and done and the day glow paint on my daughter’s homemade “Camp Rock 7″ tee was dry (don’t judge-those HotTopic shirts are expensive and I’m a single mom on a budget), THE KISS HAPPENED (I mean it kinda looked like a kiss). I thought to myself that this could NOT be happening! I mean this is the same girl that played Tonsil Hockey with CHASE “EFF ME HARD” CRAWFORD and apparently came[out] on top. Now she is sharing chaste pecks with Joe “Eyebrow” Jonas? These things just don’t exist…not in my world.

And again, I went to LTT expecting a complete, honest, and accurate breakdown of the events. SILENCE!!! Once again the goddesses had let me down by not breaking down. And again I was forced to come up with my own convoluted excuse of what was going on with our girl Ashley. I decided that Ashley is so smoking hot that she was going to prove that she can nail anyone anywhere (cause that’s what I would do if I were her). She wanted to be the one to strip Joe of that purity ring. She was going to deflower this 22 year old virgin and then wear a t-shirt saying “Yeah I tapped that”.

Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more in this the Joashley saga, something appeared like a gift from the paparazzi gods (since the goddesses from LTT weren’t delivering the goods). With this one picture, the explanation I had so long been searching for (and did I mention, unable to find on LTT??) was revealed to me…..

Ashley, my Ashley, has crossed over to the dark side….she has been brainwashed by Disney. In her new Disney contract, it states they will employ any means necessary to clean up her image. Thus, implementing project “Extreme Makeover-Slutty Image Edition”. Purity ring wearing, non-manscaping, boyfriend? Check. Disney Starlet BFF? Check, Check.

Ash…is that you baby???

So there you have it. Cause I know EVERYONE is anxiously awaiting the scoop (yeah another *insert sarcasm button* required). Even Jackson is so confused he doesn’t know rather to wind his butt or scratch his watch….

Ash…is that you baby???

Whew…I’m glad that is finally done! So I forgive you this time, UC and Moon. I know I shouldn’t expect you to be in all places at all times. I shouldn’t hold you on the pedestal that I do….after all there is a WHOLE LOTTA booze down here to share. I love you guys!!!!!

TicketGirl

To TicketGirl, all our precious LTT readers, Ashley, Joe Jonas & Miley Cyrus: We need to ask your forgiveness. We forgot the cardinal rule of breaking-it-down blogging: Never ever EVER let an opportunity go by when you could make fun of the hook-ups between Twilight stars & Disney virgins. We have no excuse. We know there isn’t much we can say to make it better. We just hope you forgive us so we can move forward. We vow to never make that mistake again. In fact, we’re going to start praying for a Kellan & Demi Lovato hook up. Or Kellan and that boy from Sonny with a Chance- we’ll take either.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

1 Commented


News on Breaking Dawn Production aka NO news on Breaking Dawn Production!

Dear Twilight and well, Breaking Dawn I suppose…

Today two posts came out referencing news behind the production of Breaking Dawn. While a few months ago we all thought making BD was a foregone conclusion and Summit was just waiting for New Moon to shatter box office records to make it official it’s been almost a month and a half since New Moon’s release and still no announcement. Since news on the twi front has been about as sparse as smiles at a KStew photoshoot, so any sort of news to come out will indefinitely make waves. But after reading both posts from the bitchtastic Ted C and a dude in his mom’s basement in North East Philly we learn… exactly… NOTHING. Why yes, it’s like a Robsten rumor… a lot of drama, a lot of words, a lot of retweets, a lot of “maybe’s” but no actual substance or truth. Someone at the LA Times spoke with producer Wyck Godrey and got this bit of totally evasive information regarding the splitting of BD into two films  “…If it’s not organic, I don’t think it will be done, and if it is, it will be…” Wow, heavy.

Breaking Dawn = tons more creepy images made by fans!

So we still don’t know if it will be made into two films (please say yes), whether Summit will hire geneticists to create a human vampire hybrid in their lair of doom (aka studio offices in Santa Monica) to play Renesmee, whether Taylor Lautner will in fact act out imprinting on a newborn baby, if Nikki Reed and KStew can patch up their differences long enough to play convincing as frenemies on screen, will Jacob and Leah spend 3/4ths of the movie running around the perimeter of the Cullen’s house “on patrol” thus reenacting the most boring parts of BD, will there be a behind the scene documentary on the making of Isle Esme which features all the “fade to black” scenes they cut out?

Sooooo many questions and ZERO answers.

Find out what we DO know about Breaking Dawn after the jump
Continue…

240 Commented


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