Nikki Reed invites me to write a story with her

Let's write a TOTALLY FICTIONAL story together!!

Dear Nikki Reed,

When you (or Seventeen Magazine, whatever… pesky details!) invited me to write a story with you I just KNEW I had to… I mean we all know I’m no stranger to writing FanFic.*** Not to toot my own horn but I think we all remember the Palatial Pad fic rather well. The rules state that we would write alternating chapters with you writing the first one and back and forth from there. After reading your first chapter I knew EXACTLY where this was headed, I MEAN COME OOOONNNN!!! This is essentially your ALLEGED life story circa Twilight and New Moon. So trust me when I say… I GOT THIS!

Ok, so everyone go read Nikki’s Chapter first…

A lexicon for your reading…
He = Rob Pattinson
Friends = cast mates
School = film set / real life
Lunch Room = the fabled hotel room jam sessions in Portland

… I knew I loved him, and that’s all that mattered. Sure I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the world, but he always said he liked me for that very reason, so I felt content with that. Most of the time that is. One time, I gathered the courage to sing a song in front of him in the lunch room (I had always loved singing), and he laughed and said “…that’s what’s so great about you; even though you aren’t a good singer, you’re not afraid to try.” That’s a compliment right?

This stuff is SO awkward to look at now

My Chapter-
As his words sunk in I hit him back with “That’s what’s so great about you Rob, even though you aren’t very charming, you’re not afraid to mumble your way to the top.” It had seemed mean spirited at the time especially when the entire lunch room laughed along with him including my best friend Christine. But that’s not how your bestie is supposed to treat you, right? After all she became homecoming queen because her boyfriend knew the principal who counted the ballots because of ME, she was my aunt! Christine never would have known her if not for me. What was also perplexing was Christine’s sudden interest in my secret boyfriend while she had her own and knew how much I was in love with him even though we had decided to keep it private. Oh, she was good at playing the innocent role luring him in with blinking doe eyes and stumbling over her words around him… or anyone really.

One day he finally noticed her. I could tell because he tried to use his charms and tell her stories and she quickly fell for it and all our class mates began to whisper and asked me questions… What was going on?

Oh Christine!

I couldn’t take it anymore I had to let her know this wasn’t alright. So one day while she was delivering her speech on equal rights for all couples and the legalization of pot in speech class, I’d had enough. Sure, I caused a scene and made our teachers and fellow classmates uncomfortable and it definitely alienated him because I was no longer alright with their facade of privacy. It was time I finally shouted it from the rooftops… or at least my desk. Everyone knows!

Oh, Nikki I can’t wait to see where you take this next chapter. And no, I really don’t think you care about this crap anymore cause you’re happily married and writing songs and being nice to us sites/blogs at the premiere but I defs think you should have gone with a different storyline because this just gives the crazies ammo against you and we all know they don’t need more.

Until the next chapter.. to be continued!
Themoonisdown

PS You can actually enter this contest! Someone go do it and WIN!!

**I have NEVER written fanfic… unless it was for this blog. Though I totally enjoyed every minute***
*** I didn’t ****
****I did.

Source: Seventeen Mag via JodieO

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Breaking Dawn Red Carpet: Behind the Scenes

REMINDER: There are 4 auto-play video ads that play sometimes throughout the day. Find them & Mute them (hit the volume button) They will stay muted. Two on the side (or directly below this post) and two all the way at the bottom!

Dear Twilight,

While Moon was busy holding the golden mic & being felt up by a D-lister Red Carpet guest (yes that happened. No, she won’t let me tell you who in fear that one day he’ll be an A-lister and somehow desirable), I was in the “other” corner of the carpet, holding down the LTT fort & getting the Behind the Scenes scoop. This basically means I got to wonder FIRST why the likes of Heather Locklear & Seth Green were there. (Still wondering)

I'm told she's a Kardashian relative

By the time the red carpet attendees got down by me, they had gone through two rows of fans, all the photographers & then the International press. The spot was where they relaxed before going into “major” press interviews. And by “major” I, of course, mean that one 16 year old Kardashian half-sister who was filling in for Ryan Seacrest. The spot is also where the handlers & dates of the celebs congregated while the interviews were being conducted. It was also like a C-list celeb meat market. Everyone was hugging everyone & I can only assume they all knew each other because once they were bad guys or murder victims on the same CSI episode. If I knew who half the people were it would have been fascinating.

Highlights:

• Getting my picture with the most important celeb on the carpet

• When the crowd thinned a bit, I decided to have a snack. Since I snack like a 3 year old, I pulled a sandwich bag filled with Goldfish crackers out of my Chanel bag. And proceeded to do what I do every time I eat Goldfish crackers. Drop them. If you’re wondering if an orange baked cracker blends in on a dark black carpet, the answer is no.

• Finding out that a certain cast member of a certain movie couldn’t pay his rent last month

• Seeing Nikki Reed run away from International Press to give her husband, Paul, a big hug, before running back for more interviews. It was adorable. So adorable I thought it deserved a piano ballad:

• When Jackson came over, the person to my left got a picture with him and so did the person to my right. When he looked at me wondering if I was going to ask for a picture too, I just smiled and contemplated giving him a high-five or asking to stroke his velvet suit.

• Seeing first-hand how little moments that happen can change into these big, fabricated or exaggerated stories. There is this rumor floating around that Kristen and her publicist got in a fight on the carpet & she RIPPED the sharpie out of her publicists hand and ran over to her adoring fans. I caught that moment on film & if talking means fighting & taking a marker your publicist is handing you is RIPPING it from her hands, then yes, that’s exactly what happened:

Sadlights

• No Big Daddy in sight

• Rob didn’t fall in love with me when he was mere inches from my face. I think he saw the goldfish crackers stuck in my teeth

• Taylor gave the International press a thumbs up instead of me

• Kristen didn’t throw anything in my face. Neither did a crazed Krisbian on an initiation mission. I was even wearing my “Kristen-hater” Sign* Sigh.. there’s always next year

• It was sooo cold. Not just California-cold, but winter jacket cold. And my short lace dress (and no tights) was NOT keeping the warmth in.

• I left that night still holding the grenade I was gonna throw at Bruno Mars. I never saw him come down the carpet.

It was incredible night- one I could go on about for hours & hours, but I’ll just leave you with this montage of the random, the weird, the great & the pretty: The REAL Red Carpet:

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Yep- just noticed a misspelling in the above video. Too late to care. Oh well! It’ll be a contest. First person to spot the mistake gets a fake prize —-> a photoshoot in Carlisle’s Breaking Dawn wig. Lucky you.

*This is false. I left my sign at home**
**Also false. It’s at my office ***
***Do you get it now? We don’t have a Kristen-hater sign****
****It’s a Build board we took out on the 101. Too bad Nokia line is off the 110*****
*****I could go all day….******
******In case you’re new: All of that is false.

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The Hale’s (or the Cullen’s) do Southern Europe

Dear LTT-ers,

Seriously, this European tour has been like the best thing Summit has ever done… I mean besides financing and making the films… and bringing us Robert Pattinson… and Butt Crack Santa and that film 50/50 but BESIDES that this tour has been the best thing to happen to Twilight. We’ve gotten mid 90s goatee Rob, not so blind items, swirly boob dresses, pictures from late nights at bars and all kinds of good stuff. And now we get Nikki and Jackson in southern Europe bringing us all the best of the b-list Cullen (or Hale as it were) siblings! I can’t lie, I’d even listen to a song by 100 Monkeys right now, I’m so excited at the prospect of this. Ok, maybe not that.
.

Jackson: Nikki, you are looking smoking hot tonight and I’m not saying that just because my six shooter is smoking in my holster
Nikki: I know, I’ve had to fight off some girl called “Moon” who kept trying to steal my shoes and dress. Crazy bitch. So what the HALE is up with your outfit?
Jackson: I was super lucky that Rome had a Wild West Costume Rental Shop to replace the clothes the airline lost. I can’t imagine walking down the carpet in something John Wayne wouldn’t approve of. Amazing, right?
Nikki: Amazing’s probably not the word I’d use…
Jackson: Yea, more sexy totally.
.

So my guesses for what Nikki Reed’s tattoo says are: “I Got There First,” “Original Nonsten,” and “My dad’s old girlfriend was the director of the 1st movie, I was the one to get him cast.” Ok, so that last one probably isn’t it. But ya know. Close enough.
.
.

Sadly, it looks as though Jackson’s partial facial paralysis is back. He really should look into getting that checked out. Oh and YEEEfreakingHAW.
.
..

How many snakes and Saloon owners had to die in order for Jackson to wear clothes in Italy and Madrid? Where is Peta on this guy?

During the Rome Q&A we got this gem:

Rathbone recalled, “I remember the first time we met, we were at the airport heading to the film’s set. I had my beloved guitar and the agent at check-in did not want me to carry it on the plane, but for me it was really important. Nikki was there and convinced them let me carry it aboard [the aircraft]. From day one, Nikki was on my side.”

Looking at Jackson during the tender and heartfelt moment, Nikki said, “You are wonderful,” to which Jackson replied, “You are a beautiful person.”

Nikki didn’t have the heart to tell him she regretted that decision after she asked him to play her a few songs from his “cool, new band he just started with some of his smoking buddies.” Memories guys, that’s all we’re gonna have left in a year.

So thank you Breaking Dawn press tour and Summit for putting this on. This is helping make the next 19ish days whiz by! And really next time can we put a limit on Jackson’s snake skin items to one? Thanks.

Ciao and Adios and stuff,
Themoonisdown

Are we loving the folks they’re sending out to do this press tour? Have any of our readers seen the cast at these events or out and about?

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40 Commented

Shiz happens: I catch up on Twilight stuff

Dear LTTers,

Dudes, So much happened while I was away… I was off having tea with the Queen and Clare (they have tea together every Tuesday. DUH), trying to rescue the lost squirrel in TomStu’s beard, trying to figure out which dumb picture Jackson would tweet of himself next and then the second I got back Ron Ron and Tay Tay decided to make out on national tv… so really I’m just now catching up. This is what I found out happened while I was away…

Make way from the Divas

• Big Daddy turned into a Diva. When UC emailed me the news I sent her back this sentence “I love him even more.”

• Nikki Reed is engaged to that dude who wears bolo ties on American Idol. Not the weird country singing kid with the head lean. The other one. Cafepress weeps at the loss of revenue from the LTT Fake Lesbian’s design

• Kristen Stewart ‘s facial paralysis was miraculously healed and she is now able to use her smiling muscles. Miracles happen folks! In our time! See: nearly every picture from the last week.

• Jackson filmed a movie in the state that birthed me called Cowgirls and Angels. So this is either a FanFic turned film or it’s a p0rn, right?

I dare you not to

• I’m not ashamed to say that I Googled the Cullen’s address 420 Woodcroft Ave Forks, WA (420, heh) and can report back that some vampire trickery is afoot because Google says to try again later because it’s having trouble loading it. UH HUH!!!! RIGHT! WHAT aren’t they telling us?!!?! I need door-to-door directions to the Cullen’s stat! We’re onto you Cullens!

• Some Twinerd (REAL LIFE PROFESSIONAL) Wedding Planner over analyzes Bella and Edward’s wedding invitation. Yes, over analyzes the fake wedding invitation to a fictional couples wedding. Leave NO stone unturned people!! We have a lot of time to fill till November.

JACKson of hearts... GETS IT??!! GET IT?!

• Jackson got beat up by a pack of wild monkeys while I was gone. They were pissed off he was disgracing the sacred a name of the monkey species with his bands music. They also thought him holding a “JACK” of hearts cards was super cheese ball. So they showed him who’s boss

• So I guess Kristen and I were in London at the same time… awkward… probably more awkward when she showed up to Clare and Dick’s house when we were having tea (I had a lot of tea there).

• Spoke too soon, found something more awkward.

Some Shiz Never Changes:

Kellan runs around the city of Los Angeles topless

Awwww Kellan thanks for making me feel like I didn’t miss too much and it was a pleasant surprise to come back and see Kristen at least acting like she was enjoying herself a bit more. And yes, I did have tea with the Queen and Clare… in totally unrelated news my mom and sister-in-law have asked me to stop calling them The Queen and Clare. Party poopers.

Moon is back ALLLRRIIIGHT! (sung to the tune of Backstreet’s Back)
Themoonisdown

Are you happy I’m back? I’m happy to be back… and it’s nice to see all the fun comments and new commenters we got from the break down of the trailer. Welcome! What else happened whilst I was gone? Has anyone seen Jackson “perform” recently… should I stop being so harsh? No. Ok.

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150 Commented

Stop the presses: some mini letters to some Twilight people

Land of no cameras!

Dear Baton Rouge,

OMG stop the presses and hand me my heart meds because apparently there IS one person in Baton Rouge with a camera!!!!! I know this is shocking for you all too since no one’s seen an outsider since the town was established hundreds of years ago and so of course new fangeled technology like a camera must be frightening. But come here, I’ll hold you while we get over our surprise and shock and fear.

Sure it may be Jackson Rathbone with a fan near a See’s Candy Store but STILL it is SOMETHING! This gives me hope for your city and that maybe this little fan moment is a turning point. Maybe Jackson and his weird hat and Jasper-esque jacket (you are not on set Jacky!) broke down the walls for everyone to start snapping those shutters and maybe we’ll just be in a deluge of pictures till they leave… Or maybe I’m entranced by Jackson’s awkward facial expression in this picture and Vancouver and their paps will wipe the floor with your silly town.

xoxo,
Moon

PS I still love you Baton Rouge, but hire some girl scouts with cameras or out of work mall Santas to take some pictures.

Who's ready for some premarrital counseling?!

Dear Kellan,

OK, SOMEONE call up Beyonce cause someone put a ring on it! Fess up Kellan, was it AnnaLynn? Was she tired of dodging in and out of that shady no-tell motel in Studio City or did you finally throw the ultimatum down: If she didn’t watch the entire McGee & Me series with you, it was done-zo, am I right?

No? It’s for a new film you’re in? Damn….
xoxo,
Moon

Dear Nikki and Kristen,

WAIT HOLD THE PHONE, someone grab my meds (again) are the fake lesbians back on?!!!!

You, Nikki Reed were quoted in something called Zink, talking about going to a party…
“I went with Kristen [Stewart, her Twilight co-star], who happens to be, like, my best friend now…”

BFF's again, forever, whatever

Wait, squeeze me one second. Happens to be your best friend now? Operative word being “NOW.” Did we bury the hatchet ladies? Is this why the Fake Lesbian section in the LTT merch store mysteriously sold out? I gotta say I’m happy for you gals and for the fodder you HOPEFULLY will give us: sharing clothes, fights over ugly Nike’s, hand-in-hand jaunts through Vancouver, shopping trips where Taylor holds you purses while you’re in the dressing room! Or will it be smoothies and working out like you and Elizabeth Reaser in Vancouver during Eclipse filming, now? And this brings up another question, “What about Elizabeth?!” This is a bittersweet happiness. I am glad you two love birds are back together again.

xoxo,
Moon

As you can see there’s been some surprising news in the Twidom. What’s the best? A actual picture from Baton Rouge, Kellan with a ring or the FL’s back together again or whatever they are…

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71 Commented