I might be a little paranoid. My Facebook quote has said for awhile:
Sometimes I go into a store, and try to be as casual as possible… but I just have this major fear that… they know…
I do! I fear that when I’m browsing the books at Target, not even LOOKING for Twi-stuff, everyone STARES at me when my eye catches the black cover of one of the books. When I’m in line at the checkout counter at the grocery store, and I casually pick up the latest Cosmo mag to see if they’re still trying to convince people that guys like hot/cold “down there” (they don’t…) and I notice a teeny tiny pic of Rob, I feel like people hear my heart skip a beat and STARE. I’m paranoid. Clearly
A friend recently wrote on my facebook wall, “UC! I haven’t talked to you in forever. I’m reading the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer (you know they’re a new fan when they give you too much info as if you wouldn’t know what series they were talking about) and my husband told me about your blog! I LOVE it!” Okay #1) How the H does your husband know about my little secret blog? #2) NOT ON MY FACEBOOK WALL! I know I act all uber open & passionate about Twilight on LTT & LTR, but I do not talk about it in person. It kills me not to correct someone when they call him “Robert Patterson” or say the series takes place in “Forks, Oregon,” but I don’t do it. I’m smoothe, I’m cool… I’m not outing myself for Twilight.
Recently Moon & I received an e-mail from a wonderful LTT/LTR reader named “K.” It said:
You found me on facebook!? What?! I kinda felt like you guys do when people randomly mention your blog to you and you panic that people know. I don’t mind reading hilarious blogs and sharing hot, goofy, or hilarious pics and other such things to people I’ve never met but share the same infatuation, but I need to salvage my dignity and reputation as a sane human being by pretending I don’t know what people are talking about when they mention sparkling men or naughty dumpster fantasies.
I’m the kind of person, that when asked if I’ve read/like Twilight, I respond, “yeah, I read the books a while ago (also last week) and thought they were pretty good.” Minor downplaying, you know, just so I’m still credible in the eyes of the rest of the human race.
Anyways, so I’m sure you can imagine my momentary dilemma when I got this friend request: to-be-friend or not-to-be-friend. As tempting as it was, I just had to click ignore.
So, I guess this is just my letter to you, apologizing for being that kid in high school who would myspace all weekend but pretend they’ve never seen you before come math class monday morning.
Anywho, I love you both though I’ll never publicly admit it. <3 K
We weren’t hurt! I would never be friends with us on Facebook if I wasn’t actually us. (Actually, neither one of us ARE friends with LTT on facebook… ha!)
So, I’ve been thinking about why I won’t “out” myself and really confess to my “real” world how big of a fan I am. Besides the obvious reasons of the crazy fan-girl lusty moments I have over Robert Pattinson, I think it’s because Twilight isn’t “okay” for adults to like. Don’t get me wrong- WE think it’s ‘okay’ because we GET IT. But I’d say the majority of people judge it as young adult/teenage-nonsense/MTV garbage. We’ve all read the interviews with Stephenie- she never set out to write Young Adult fiction…. I’m gonna argue that I don’t think she did write young adult fiction. I just think that’s the genre her publisher put her in.
Crap. Darn that Little brown bear. Or little Bear Brown… Whatever… Darn Steph’s publishing company for making me live a secret life. And while I’m ‘darning’ people (yes, I say darning, please love it), Darn Robert Pattinson for being so damn hot and making me get so lusty online that I have to hide in this virtual bubble where I spent the majority of my time. So much time that often when I come out of my bubble into the ‘real’ world I answer people by saying “That’s Normal,” introducing myself as “UC,” referring so often to my friend “Moon” in Los Angeles that I joke people must think we’re becoming “fake lesbians.” Yes, I get strange looks.
Maybe it’s not such a crazy idea to think that people are staring at me….Maybe I’m not as normal as I think…..
Nah, “That’s Normal”
So what is it? Why do most of us hide our obsession from our ‘real’ lives!?
Tags: , cosmopolitan magazine, dumpster, embarassing, facebook, Fan Letters, fantasies, forks, Los Angeles, MTV, New Moon, obsesssions, paranoid, paranoids, Rob, Robert Patterson, Robert Pattinson, Step, Stephenie Meyer, teen, tween, Twilight, Twilight Fans, vampires, virtual bubble