Oh Twilight Virgins.. How I’ve missed thee..

Twilight VirginsDear Twilight sluts,

I had a conversation recently with an old pal who is a TWILIGHT VIRGIN!!! It’s been so long since I popped MY cherry & popped the cherries of everyone close to me that it was refreshing to talk with a virgin again. And SHE brought it up! We got started by talking about our weekend plans & I mentioned I would be asking a question to a vampire at the moviefone event

So many questions

Perdy: So ur going to talk to Edward and Jacob and the girl too?

UC: hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha…oh i love Twilight virgins…which you are!!

Perdy: Ps I think I would be on team Jacob because I can’t deny the goodness of him without a shirt

UC: no- they won’t be there- they don’t do events like this.. it’s another vampire & a wolf

Perdy: And my brother in law’s name is Jacob so I have to consider that too

UC: haha… If you read the books, you’d be Team Edward!! Some end up Team Jacob.. but… not most!

Perdy: Like will Dakota Fanning be there? I like her a lot.

UC: Um not she WON’T be there either!

Perdy: No no I’m pretty sure its Team Jacob I’m on. But I maybe will read the books. Maybe I’m different teams on the book and movie. And there is no doubt I’m a TV “Twilight Virgin” I’ve only seen the first two movies, once each….And sometimes I have to ask my husband questions during the movie and he gets annoyed

UC: What questions do you have?

Perdy: Oh gosh. I don’t even remember….. Probably stupid questions like – vampires can’t live in the light, right?

UC: Twilight vamps can- except they SPARKLE- like diamonds

Perdy: And “I thought the vampires and werewolf’s killed each other?”. “Are the vampires and wolves friends?”And “why don’t the werewolves like vampires”

UC: no- the wolves EXIST to kill vampires

Perdy: And “why does she have those attacks”

UC: they only turn into wolves when vampires are around! What attacks? Ohh!? You mean in new moon? Haha! (Her sleep number bed was on the wrong number!) No- She loved Edward! And he left!

Perdy: And “why doesn’t he want to bite her”

UC: Edward? He does Her blood is like a drug to him. Wow. I’m SO lame.

Perdy: See I told you they were dumb questions – this is why my hubby gets annoyed

UC: And I just quoted twilight. They’re not lame questions. They’re great!

Perdy: “Why isn’t her father more involved in her life” “Where is her mother?”

UC: Florida- married to Phil. And Charlie loves her- but he’s been alone all this time., and he just really loves to fish

Perdy: “Why can’t she make more friends at school”

UC: in the book she’s SUPER popular- it’s weird. because she wasn’t popular in AZ. but she’s a loner, like Charlie.

Perdy: And praytell – “Why does she not use a tanning bed” She would look worlds better. And Edward….buddy….make a decision….love her or leave her because you are driving me nuts when you say you leaving and come back around – what a friggin tease! No wonder the girl is confused

UC: I know. That’s a big issue. HOWEVER.. It’s important .. for where they go in Eclipse (next movie) and the last book. He needs to leave her to know how much he loves her . and how he’ll never ever leave her again

Perdy: And for Jacob…”does it hurt to become a wolf?”

UC: No- he just feels out of control. Do you know why he’se always shirtless?

Perdy: And really – how big are the wolves because sometimes they look like huge monsters and sometimes just oversized dogs?

UC: They’re huge- like 6 ft tall- remember, They’re NOT bears

Perdy: If I had that body I’d be shirtless all the time too….

UC: Well, it’s because when they turn into wolves- their clothes break. SO.. they wear a little cord around their ankle where they tie their jorts so that they don’t rip their pants. And then they just don’t wear shirts. PLUS they are 110 degrees. So they’re hot

Perdy: I thought something like if he gets too hot he turns into a wolf or something

UC: No he’s just usually 108-110 degrees. OMG I’m a loser (and also AWESOME for knowing all this!)

Perdy: Yes if I’m ever on who wants to be a millionaire I got the “wolf temperature” question in the bag now!

More, after the jump! Continue…

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