As much as I’d like a lil’ hanky panky I don’t want breaking dawn porn!!

Dear Breaking Dawn,

My friend Adrienne sent me this from Robsessed. And my first thought was “ewww” (And I don’t mean from the picture to the right)

Fade to Sad

Well, maybe a lil' fade to sad is okay...

Then I realized… for a girl who cries BREAKING HEADBOARDS 2011 (well, I haven’t cried that yet but plan to starting today) & covers herself in feathers & blood for Halloween (no I don’t) that’s an odd thing to think isn’t it? And I realize that while I really want some hanky panky, I don’t want Breaking Dawn porn!! I know I know…. after all this time of saying it BETTER be good and it BETTER be hot, and calling Stephenie the master at “Fading to sad,” now I’m saying it better not be TOO hot? Is it possible for me to be satisfied with (Breaking Dawn) sex!?

But hear me out: I’m going to see Breaking Dawn in the theater- not in the privacy of my home (or beach) where I read the book. I’m going to be sitting with hundreds of people, many of whom I’ll be annoyed at because of how long I had to hear them yammer on about how hot “Jacob the wolf” is in line.  I’ll most likely be holding Moon’s hand & sitting with Mr. Choice on my other side. The sex scene(s) can’t be TOO hot. Cuz I’ll be holding Moon’s hand, in the presence of Mr. Choice, in a room full of people in public. And that’s just awkward. I guess the NON-”fade to sad” sex scene I wanted for the BOOK might not translate as well to the screen. (ESPECIALLY when every Robstener in the room will be groaning in pleasure as all their Robsten fantasies are realized (read LTR today for some of those very fantasies!))

So what DO I want? What WOULD be appropriate? What advice CAN I give way too late in the game?

Here are some good sex scenes to model after that come to mind after three years of thought no thought at all.

Somebody else made this. I did not. I wish

The Notebook

Ignoring the fact (as hard as it is) that it’s a RYAN GOSLING sex scene for a minute, let me tell you why this is so beautiful. There’s passion. There’s angst. There’s LOVE and well… Ryan Gosling.

But fill in those words & substitute Ryan for Rob & it could work for Breaking Dawn too!

And we already know that Rob & Kristen are going to win the “Best Kiss” award like Ryan & Rachel did (sniff- RIP their relationship)

Little Red Riding Hood

Dammit, Cathi Hardi! You got something right! The sex scene in this movie was HOT. Hot enough to almost make me want to see it again.

I said almost. Not that I would.

And since I TOTALLY just tried to find images for the next sex-scene idea by googling “Romeo & Juliet Kate & Leo Sex Scene” we’re going to talk about two of my FAVORITES of all time starring Leo:

Couldn't find anything sexier than this, but DANG remember this!? I feel 14 all over again

Romeo and Juliet

I get gooey inside when I think about this movie- probably because it was my first movie sex-scene- or the first scene I remember seeing, anyway. Not only was I so obsessed with Leo I used to cry at night (why? I still don’t understand teenage hormones to this day) but DUDE. He DIES in the end. After a sex scene where you could see Claire Dane’s boob if you slowed down the movie enough. Which I used to do. Just cause.

Speaking of Leo dying:

The Titanic

The Titanic was what… a few months after Romeo & Juliet? My Leo obsession was full-on strong & then he had to go & teach me that sex not only didn’t just happen after getting married when you were a teen but could happen right before a major tragedy, was really sweaty and OH SO HOT!

This is still one of the hottest sex scenes of all time to me.

And, in fact, they’re not so “hot” in the traditional sense. I mean…. There’s a little nudity in a few of them. A teeny bit of moaning, but nothing too awkward to watch with a room full of wolf-lovers. But they’re HOT and PASSIONATE without being too porn-ish or cheesy.

So Breaking Dawn, if you listen to me this late in the game while you’re still editing & splicing & cutting things up… make it like one of the above sex scenes. Pretty Please?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What do you think? Is Breaking Dawn’s scene gonna make us sad? Will it please the Robsteners? Too much? Any other GREAT sex scenes you wouldn’t mind it mirroring?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Images from Tumblr

72 Commented


Living Single in a Twilight Kind of World!

Dear LTT-er’s

On the heels of last weeks super successful Hardball:  Is Kristen Stewart pregnant? post, I’ve decided to tackle another subject close to my heart: Living single in a Twilight/Rob kind of world! Yup, free feel to sing that to the tune of the Living Single theme song. I feel like a good portion of our audience are mature adult women in relationships and I wanted to give a platform to the other side of the equation. What is is like to be a single adult lady and like a YA novel about Vampires? How has obsessing over Rob and other Twi stars affected their relationships and pursuit of life and boys? And most of all how in the crap will we meet Rob and have him fall madly in love with us? Cause after all that’s a possibility when you’re single!

So again I’ve gathered a panel of the brightest, smartest raddest ladies from the LTT/LTR family to participate in a Sex and the City style round table discussion (aka chat). Just imagine us in the coffee shop with our most awesomest shoes (you’ll see those, don’t worry!) sipping cocktails and dishing the dirt on everything from boys to friends to Twitter to Jonathan Brandis. Yup, we hit it all.

Welcome to Part One (yes we had to break it up there was so much good stuff!) of Living Single in a Twilight Kind of World *cue music*

Heels and a High Life that's the way Moon rolls

Moon: So ladies, just so you can introduce yourselves and let all those good viewers out there know who you are, I’ll start this how i start all my creepy online chats… A/S/L?
Moon: 26/female/los angeles… oh and send us tweetpics of your fabulous shoes while we chat…
Brooke: 29-F-Philly
chelsea: 24/F/Orange County
Calli: 25/f/Philly
janetrigs: 55/M/texas
aramisette: 28/F/Boston
janetrigs: Okay nooo
Brooke: oh Janet
janetrigs: 31/F/DC
freya: 34/Albuquerque
Brooke: Freya, you a man? didn’t want to tell us?
Moon: pre op?
janetrigs: She must totally be a man
freya: Sorry, 24/ALL WOMAN/Albuquerque
Moon: trannies living in a rob world!
freya: Dang–I just took my age down by ten years!
janetrigs: Trannies in Rob world seems NORMAL
chelsea: Pre or Post-op?

Freya likes booty with her heels

Single and Ready to Mingle?
Calli
: i’m drinking disarono on the rocks
Brooke: That’s normal!
Moon: so are we all single or in some sort of relationship?
Calli: and i’ve got rootbeer vodka on the backburner
Moon: calli is classy. i want to be calli when i grow up
janetrigs: Rootbeer vodka!!
freya: Single.
Calli: single
aramisette: single
Brooke: Single
janetrigs: single, of course
chelsea: I prfer Unencumbered to single..
freya: “Unencumbered”–LOL
Moon: foot loose and fancy free!
aramisette: unencumbered is better. shows u don’t need a man
janetrigs: Well I’s divorced
janetrigs: Is that diff from single, I like to think NOOOO
Brooke: Janey has a wusband
Calli: i’m going to go with “suffering from limited options
aramisette: u choose to be this way
janetrigs: Wasbands suck just so you know. But no kids thank the lord
Moon: couldnt match up to rob?
janetrigs: No one can Moon
janetrigs: No one is ever gonna match up to rob, that’s why I go for the drunk ones, closest to him I think
Moon: HAHAHA amen we’re getting there

Follow the cut to learn more about cover stories, batteries and which Rob is our favorite
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She’s at it again! AmanDAH the TwiMom video vixen!

Dear LTT/LTR-ers,

Remember last weekend when I brought you my newest favorite fan video creator? Well she’s at it again and we’ve decided to give her a nickname because she’s too amazing NOT to have one. This lovely gal shall now be called AmandDAH the Twimom Video Vixen, cause yes, this woman is a mom! And she’s not only creating vids of her version of the New Moon trailer with her special hubster but is writing, singing and recording her own songs inspired by Twilight! Oh yes, hang on to your butts cause this is gonna blow that trailer out of the water!

Let’s start out with her upbeat diddy titled “My Vampire”

I keep worrying that her shirt may fall off through this whole video… makes it hard to concentrate on the amazing lyrics…

Starting over
in a new school forks high
eyes on me
dont like the attention

then i spot him out
staring me down
looking mean
looking pale and handsome

hes not a man hes a vampire

Alrighty now let’s slow it down with her next smash hit titled “Beautiful Vampire”

Now if I was the director of a Twilight porno spoof: Bella Does Forks, this is the song I would pick for the soundtrack…

pale white skin
ice cold chill
sheild of mine
vampire eyes
fast
blink of an eye

thirst of my wine

hes beautiful
beautiful vampire

Seriously guys, I really can’t wait to see what AmanDAH comes up with next cause I couldn’t write this stuff… she’s the biggest Twilight fan who’s never read Twilight!

Happy Saturday!
Themoonisdown

LTR
The Forum

Follow the cut for a very special announcement about the Porn-off between us and the Twi Sisterhood
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