Young love is Taylor-made

Dear Taylors,

Awwww, ain’t young love grand?! It’s not even spring and we get to enjoy a little bit of love blossoming in the fall as we watch you two meet up all over the country. I’m going to write each of you a letter and you can figure out which one is to who…


PS Can we come up with a better couple name that Tay-tay or Taylor squared for you guys? Those just don’t have the right ring to them

Dear Taylor,

Don’t screw this up!!! If it’s true and you are playing the hanky panky at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel with Taylor than you’re a lucky SOB cause this girl is 19, you are 17 and in boy/girls maturity levels that’s a lot. And besides that, she’s a young musician who not only plays an instrument but also writes her own music! This girls got it going on, and has the songs to prove it. Which you can learn a lot from, by the way! If we know anything about Taylor we know she likes Romeo and Juliet, love stories, flowers, screen doors slamming, Tim McGraw, castles, tear drops, glitter,  that stupid old pick up truck, burning shit, white horses, hates cheer captains and loves being fearless. Oh and she hates the JoBros. But who doesn’t?

So seriously don’t screw this up cause you KNOW Taylor will turn your relationship in her next number one album if you break her heart! And don’t think we won’t know who’s she’s referring to when she sings about “that stupid dog.”  I will also warn you know that Big Daddy told me he’s getting ready to sit you down and have “the talk” with you! So if Big Daddy asks to take you to McDee’s for some “one-on-one time” he’s not refering to private time with a certain fried fish sammy, he’s talking about emabarassing birds and the bees, this is where babies come from, true love waits, keep it in your pants shiz! Prepare yourself! And tape it, so we can listen later cause it will be epically 2nd hand embarrassing! Oh and if Kanye gets any funny ideas at this years Grammy’s you better come prepared to throw down. I’m talking “don’t get me upset” Jacob style throw down.

Ok now go send this girls some flowers and do a back flip for her while you recite a poem you wrote called “Taylor + Taylor, we can make it not a failure” So, clearly you’ll help you with your writing skills (and mine).

It’s a love story Taylor, just say yes!

PS If something happens and you have to break up with her don’t do it via phone like that loser Jonas Brother did. You’re a classy fellow have the balls and do that ish in person!

Follow the cut to see my letter to the other Taylor! And some other goodies…

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For Kristen Stewart, a guide to keeping men happy

Dear Kristen,

On the day we finally declare peace in the Rob fandom by linking arms and uniting in one voice to declare “We are the Rob, We are the Fandom,” you go and stir the shit. Of course you would. Kinda makes me like you a bit too- ain’t nothing like rattling a hornets nest with the news that Micheal Arangano aka Oregano might actually be in Vancouver. Yup, the same Vancouver that you and the rest of the Eclipse cast is in (oh and that dude you’ve been seen with- Rob Whateverson- happens to be there too.) I kind of really want you to be seen one day with Oregano doing that lovely-dovey shiz like you all did in April and then the next day been seen all double O style with Rob because then you would be a Lady Pimp, Man Killer, and I would be forced into maybe, quite possibly, LOVING YOUR FACE. If you were stringing both of these boys along, making them fly to other countries, hide under hoods, buy you dinner, comb out your mullet and then get the H out of bed once you were finished with them, I would give you the biggest high five ever. EVER. Just the thought of it makes me smile and want to yell “Girl Power!” (Spice up your life!).

So since we have no real confirmation as to validity of this other than the ALWAYS valid Splash News *ahem* I’m going to speculate that it’s totally true and Oregano really is up there in Vancouver and the reason you didn’t go to the cast dinner last weekend was because it was Oregano’s day and not Rob’s, so like any good Lady Pimp you sent Rob along to the dinner to be watched over by your frenemie Nikki Reed while you, or should I say while Oregano, attended to your “needs.” I’m so kinda proud! Since you are 19, however, I have a feeling you’ve just recently tapped into your Lady Pimp Man Killer essence so you’re new at this and might be in need of a few tips from some seasoned sluts professionals. So out of the goodness of my heart, and as a sign of goodwill and Rob-peace, I’ve put together a little guide for you with the help of some pals:

Follow the cut to see the rules!

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This Cosmic Love – Edward and Bella

Dear Edward and Bella,

Sometimes words can adequately explain why your love story is so great. So words like cosmic seem like the only thing that can come near to explaining something so big, so strong and all encompassing. When Calli sent this video over I knew somehow someone had tapped into just a little once of truth regarding you two. The video features the song “Cosmic Love” by Florence and the Machine and I really can’t think of a better way to state the good, the bad and the lovely about you two. I was so intrigued by the term cosmic that I wanted to see the full extent of the term and here’s what good ol Merriam Webster had to say on the subject:

1 a
: of or relating to the cosmos, the extraterrestrial vastness, or the universe in contrast to the earth alone b : of, relating to, or concerned with abstract spiritual or metaphysical ideas
2 : characterized by greatness especially in extent, intensity, or comprehensiveness

Yea, I think that about sums it up…

PS big thanks to the lovely, radical, funny Calli

What words would you use to describe Bella and Edward?

Follow the cut to read the lyrics

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Rob and Kristen spotted in Hollywood, the story

*in light of all that’s happened over the last 24hrs, make your own assumptions, look at the pics, and take everything with a grain of salt and decide if it really matters to you. We’re still fans of the books and movies and that’s what matters!*

kristinrobbobbylongLTTwmDear LTT-ers, gossip hounds, lookie loos, Robstens and Nonstens-

Here’s my story as it appears partially on Radar Online.

First you must know that we are mostly “don’t get a crapsten,” around here. We’ve presented both sides of the Robsten vs Nonsten side and have left it up to you to decide. And once again in light of what’s happened we take that stance again. So without further adieu here are the deets as it happened.

Last night fellow fan and pal Ashley and I went out to the Hotel Cafe to catch the Bobby Long show cause well he has amazing music and ya never know there’s always a chance! We roll up to the venue grab some prime standing location next to the front of the stage near the front door emergency exit. So we’re cooking along, beverages in hand, meet the lovely Emmelouwhoo and settle in to enjoy Bobby’s music. A few songs in around 10PM we hear someone pounding on that front exit and a few of us glance over there in time to see Marcus Foster walked in followed by Rob Pattinson in that unmistakable black beanie (and apparently Kristen who we didn’t see till later) and don’t catch anything else cause I turn around to confirm with Emmeloowhoo and Ashley that I was not in fact having Bella style visions of Rob flashing in my head. And they can confirm that it was indeed Rob in the flesh. We saw him for about all of a second as they made a quick step to the right of the door behind a very small curtain. At this point I was looking for my Comic Con preparedness kit because we all needed a paper bag for hyperventilating because I was standing one person away from this curtain.

A few songs pass and we notice that the crowd wasn’t freaking out, so we surmised that it was either because this is LA and most folks hardly get star struck after living here a few years or in fact they really did sneak in almost undetected. Now as much as I will rep for LA, judging by our own silent freak outs, I don’t think most of them would have stayed that nonchalant had they known Rob was maybe a foot or two away from them.

It was nearing the end of the set and a few songs at the end Bobby glances over to that little curtained off area and a little look of recognition passes and he smiles and give them the nod. At this point we knew Bobby was ending his set so we made the executive decision to divide and conquer and head for the front. It was pretty obvious he wouldn’t leave through the crowd of people and that he would head straight back out that front exit.

Ashley and I headed for the front and hung out against the wall. It was us, a valet dude, a hobo and two German chicks. No paparazzi, no nothing. Then things started happened. The door opened and Marcus rushed out right into the street and hailed a cab. At this point we knew he was headed out. Marcus gets the cab (about 1030) as close as he can which is probably about 20 feet or less from where we were standing and they would definitely have to walk in front of us. Then Marcus walks back to the door, and out comes Rob!! Yes, I saw Rob Pattinson and he walked in front of me. If I had reached out my hand I would have touched him. He walked half bent over (like in the photo) and booked it for the cab. NO bodyguards! We had a few seconds to look at him and then shocker of shockers right behind him by a few feet walks Kristen Stewart! At that point we are both shocked because we did not see her walk in. She walks fast by us doing that patented KStew hair thing and awkward walk to follow Rob and Marcus out to the cab. Marcus jumps into the cab first, followed by Rob who half flies in and then Kristen jumps in and they speed off crouching down. Because I am half shocked I get one pic of them jumping into the cab and one of the cab speeding away towards Sunset. Sorry for the shizzy quality but I didn’t want to use the flash and it is from my blackberry. As much as I would love to scoop it with a better picture, that’s really not my style and I thought a lot about even posting that one (ask the gals who went with me).

Now that is the whole story. Take from it what you want, make your own assumptions but mine are as follows…

  • Rob, Kristen and Marcus came to see Marcus and Rob’s friend Bobby play a show
  • There was NO touchy-feel-y business happening from what we saw of them leaving or from behind the curtain. I feel as though if they had been doing anything behind that curtain the very immature girls next to us would have flipped out and we would have seen something through the flimsy curtain
  • That curtain area is less than the size of my arms outstretched. Any shenanigans could be because of that and if Rob and Kristen were touching than Rob was definitely SPOONING Marcus too as it is TINY!
  • They left somewhat separately. A known paparazzi trick is to walk far enough apart so they can’t be shot together, but there were no paparazzi
  • Rob practically ran from the door to the cab leaving Kristen to shuffle to the cab by herself
  • He gets in the cab first, doesn’t touch her or allow her to jump in first. If they were together I would think he’d wait for her and allow her to get in. Who knows though
  • Both of them being together in public at all could point to the fact either they’re together or just don’t care
  • A good portion of that small audience did not see this or know anything went down as evidenced by the fact no one was talking about it after the show minus a small group (us and the hobo!)

Our small group thinks they’re either JUST friends (meh) or totally friends with benefits but don’t lean towards any official couple status. Again proof = truth and this is just a picture of them getting into a cab with Marcus after seeing a friend play.

So there ya have it… are they together? Are they not? Does it make a difference to you? What say you?!

take the cut to see another picture and video from the show…

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Living Single in a Twilight Kind of World!

Dear LTT-er’s

On the heels of last weeks super successful Hardball:  Is Kristen Stewart pregnant? post, I’ve decided to tackle another subject close to my heart: Living single in a Twilight/Rob kind of world! Yup, free feel to sing that to the tune of the Living Single theme song. I feel like a good portion of our audience are mature adult women in relationships and I wanted to give a platform to the other side of the equation. What is is like to be a single adult lady and like a YA novel about Vampires? How has obsessing over Rob and other Twi stars affected their relationships and pursuit of life and boys? And most of all how in the crap will we meet Rob and have him fall madly in love with us? Cause after all that’s a possibility when you’re single!

So again I’ve gathered a panel of the brightest, smartest raddest ladies from the LTT/LTR family to participate in a Sex and the City style round table discussion (aka chat). Just imagine us in the coffee shop with our most awesomest shoes (you’ll see those, don’t worry!) sipping cocktails and dishing the dirt on everything from boys to friends to Twitter to Jonathan Brandis. Yup, we hit it all.

Welcome to Part One (yes we had to break it up there was so much good stuff!) of Living Single in a Twilight Kind of World *cue music*

Heels and a High Life that's the way Moon rolls

Moon: So ladies, just so you can introduce yourselves and let all those good viewers out there know who you are, I’ll start this how i start all my creepy online chats… A/S/L?
Moon: 26/female/los angeles… oh and send us tweetpics of your fabulous shoes while we chat…
Brooke: 29-F-Philly
chelsea: 24/F/Orange County
Calli: 25/f/Philly
janetrigs: 55/M/texas
aramisette: 28/F/Boston
janetrigs: Okay nooo
Brooke: oh Janet
janetrigs: 31/F/DC
freya: 34/Albuquerque
Brooke: Freya, you a man? didn’t want to tell us?
Moon: pre op?
janetrigs: She must totally be a man
freya: Sorry, 24/ALL WOMAN/Albuquerque
Moon: trannies living in a rob world!
freya: Dang–I just took my age down by ten years!
janetrigs: Trannies in Rob world seems NORMAL
chelsea: Pre or Post-op?

Freya likes booty with her heels

Single and Ready to Mingle?
: i’m drinking disarono on the rocks
Brooke: That’s normal!
Moon: so are we all single or in some sort of relationship?
Calli: and i’ve got rootbeer vodka on the backburner
Moon: calli is classy. i want to be calli when i grow up
janetrigs: Rootbeer vodka!!
freya: Single.
Calli: single
aramisette: single
Brooke: Single
janetrigs: single, of course
chelsea: I prfer Unencumbered to single..
freya: “Unencumbered”–LOL
Moon: foot loose and fancy free!
aramisette: unencumbered is better. shows u don’t need a man
janetrigs: Well I’s divorced
janetrigs: Is that diff from single, I like to think NOOOO
Brooke: Janey has a wusband
Calli: i’m going to go with “suffering from limited options
aramisette: u choose to be this way
janetrigs: Wasbands suck just so you know. But no kids thank the lord
Moon: couldnt match up to rob?
janetrigs: No one can Moon
janetrigs: No one is ever gonna match up to rob, that’s why I go for the drunk ones, closest to him I think
Moon: HAHAHA amen we’re getting there

Follow the cut to learn more about cover stories, batteries and which Rob is our favorite

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