Twitter Blows Up with Shocking US Weekly Cover

Dear Kristen,

You can imagine my surprise, shock and confusion when I came across this picture from US Weekly on twitter last night:

;

What is your bestie Katy Perry doing with the womanizer John Mayer?!? Isn’t Taylor Swift a good friend of Katy’s? Didn’t she hear her song?

Thank goodness UC texted me last night to get online so I could see this. I would hate to see Katy get her heart broken again.

Staying strong and still believing in the magicness,

Brooke

AN OFFICIAL LTT STATEMENT WILL ARRIVE SHORTLY. AND BY OFFICIAL WE MEAN FUNNY.

7 Commented


My Book Edward is hotter than the Movie Edward

Please refer to LTR for all the excuses why Moon & I didn’t write this LTT today!

Dear LTT-ers,

UC and I were emailing the other day (for those of you who don’t remember, we met at college in real life, lost track of each other when she transferred, and reconnected on LTT—and believe it or not, most of our emailing is NOT about Twilight), and she suggested I give you all my take on something Twilight- related that is a little outside-of-the-norm here on LTT:

When I read the Twilight books, I never picture Rob as Edward. In fact, book-Edward—my book-Edward, anyway—is WAY hotter than Rob.

You don't think I look like EDWARD!??

I know, how can that be, right?

Don’t hate me, but I have to admit, I don’t find Rob all that attractive. In fact, I think I am one of the few women who is Team Edward all the way, but thinks that Taylor Lautner is drool-worthy—even if he is way too young for me and I’m very happily married—and Rob Pattinson is just so-so.

I was actually surprised to find that I thought Rob was more attractive after I saw an interview of him— when he wasn’t trying to project his version of who Edward is. I thought his British accent dreamy, his self-deprecating sense of humor endearing, and thought that he would have been one of those guys I wanted to be best friends with in high school…and might have even crushed on once or twice. But he’s just not Edward Cullen.

By way of an explanation that will make sense to all of you who are already thinking I’m crazy, please realize that I read A LOT. Before my daughter was born, I easily made it through three of four books a week at times. Now I make it through only one or two, but that’s still way above the norm. And when I read, I’m usually creating a whole movie in my head.

So since I’ve envisioned this whole alternate reality in vivid detail, when books are made into movies, I go in with low expectations. The directors, actors, casting people, etc. never do things entirely the way I would have, and someone or something is almost always off for me in a way that makes me prefer my own version so much more. (No one has ever cast Mr. Wickham, Mr. Darcy, or Elizabeth Bennet to my satisfaction and don’t get me started on the ways in which the Harry Potter movies mutilated the Harry-
Voldemort face-offs in Goblet of Fire and Deathly Hallows Part 2). There are the times when something is just perfect—Blake Lively as Bridget Vreeland/America Ferrara as Carmen Lowell (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants), Judi Dench as Lady Catherine, Rosamund Pike as Jane Bennet, Winona Ryder as Jo March with Christian Bale (swoon!) as Teddy Lawrence—but those are the exceptions for me.

He had (some of) us at Ray-Bans

When I read Twilight and it captured my obsessive tendencies in a way few series do, I knew that I would find the movies a disaster. There was just no way that I was going to find any mere human actor to measure up to the perfect vampire of Stephenie Meyer’s creation that I had brought to life in my head.

When I saw Rob (both in pictures before-hand and then in the first movie), some of my disappointment had to do with looks, but most of it was something else. Book-Edward is just a bit lighter than Rob’s depiction of Edward—yes, he’s conflicted, depressed, constantly repressing his appetites (carnal and otherwise), but he’s not so constantly brooding. He makes jokes—he laughs with Bella and Alice—he has mood swings that would make a 13-year-old girl get whiplash. And there’s just a bit of arrogance to him
that I didn’t catch in Rob’s portrayal most of the time—but the sexy type of arrogance (not the oh-my- gosh-shut-up-I-want-to-kill-you kind). And somehow, I don’t get the sense that Rob is a hidden turn-of-the-20th-century gentleman. I can picture my book Edward in coat tails, longish hair, and a white gloves (a la Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic), but I can’t quite make that mental picture of Rob compute with sex appeal.

The main reason I’m not a Rob-hater (and I’m not, I promise), is that I don’t know who I’d cast instead. I liked Stephenie’s pick (Henry Cavill in the event you can’t remember back that far and don’t have a weird memory for minutiae like I do). Three of my favorite oh-goodness-he’s-so-hot actors are Dean Cain, a younger Christian Bale, and Tom Welling (yeah, I have a Superman fetish, let’s move on). But the first two are way too old and Tom Welling is just nothing like Edward… he’ll always be Clark Kent,
anyway. I think if you had to back me into a corner, I might go for Ian Somerhalder (I’ve never watched Vampire Diaries and am basing this on my love of him from the WB’s summer show Young Americans that almost no one has ever heard of and his days as Boone of Lost) Matt Czuchry, or Justin Hartley. But any of them would have to dye his hair a dark reddish-brown with a few blonde highlights—not that dirty blonde color they’ve dyed Rob’s hair for the movies. And I’m not sure any of the three of them would really capture the essence of the character in my head. I think my perfect vampire is just like any author’s character—an impossible, wish-fulfillment figment of imagination.

So what do you think? Am I crazy, or is your book-Edward different than Rob too? Let the debating (and hating, probably!) begin.

Love,
The Plane Friend

When The Plane Friend told me her feelings about Rob as Edward I assured her she would NOT get hate (then took it back because I’ve been hated for much, much less). But I know that while this topic is NOT allowed on LTR, many LTT readers do not have the love for Rob that some of us do! So today let’s hear from YOU! Who would YOU have liked to have seen cast as Edward?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

93 Commented


What (should have) happened in the Twilight world in 2010

Dear Twilight,

Since it’s that time of year when we start to wrap up 2010 and think about 2011, I was thinking about recapping the past year of Twilight. But then I thought to myself, “Wow… how incredibly boring, UC. Anyone who is a reader of LTT knows exactly what happened in the world of Twilight in 2010 and exactly when it happened (and probably what they were wearing at the time).” So I thought, why don’t I recap what should have happened in 2010? We’re all about the fanatical fantasy here at LTT, so why stop now? I give you: Twilight in 2010: What should have happened!

The 100 Monkeys broke up. As a result the Goodwill received an onslaught of “Monkey bags,” and past concert goers stopped fleeing to their Doctors complaining of ‘bleeding ears”

Kellan came out of the closet. Then went to Christian Gay camp & learned how to resist the urge. Then was caught at the Eco-lodge with a man. Coincidentally it was his counselor from Christian Gay camp.

Swiftner became a bigger celeb couple than Robsten. A Karate video was produced to a country music soundtrack, selling more than Justin Bieber’s latest album. A pre-teen war ensued. A lot of Jonas Brothers sleeping bags were destroyed. I think. Do tweens still like the JoBros?

BigDaddy realized that the Olive Garden is much better when UC & Moon are there to share his breadsticks. TWSS.

Midnight Sun was finished and as a result, for a full 12 hours, not a woman over the age of 10 was seen in public.

The media & public realized Robsten are a really boring couple (Is it “Robsten are?” or “Robsten is”? Is this in the dictionary somewhere? “How do you properly formulate a sentence using the plural form of Robsten?” Does anyone know? Do you think Summit knows? Do you think they have a guy in their office just to grammatically correct all the “Robsten” sentences they write? Most importantly, how does the CEO address Robsten when he makes photo-shopped manips of the two of them to send to his wife on humpday?

“TwiPorn” and “RobPorn” went back to their original meanings: Pictures of Twilight male characters doing chores around the house. Much more boring, much more safe for work, plus you feel better about yourself after seeing Peter Fach vacuuming instead of opening an email attachment to see Kellan holding a huge scholong with the caption “Bite this.”

Catherine Hardwicke made a movie that looked nothing like Twilight

DILF mustard pants chris weitz

These pants will be EVERYWHERE this spring

Chris Weitz showed up in public again to introduce his men’s fashion line called “DILF,” featuring a limited edition mustard-colored pant

Rob’s head was not photo-shopped onto the bodies of any men who also do gay porn.

Stephenie called Pancho “Nacho” in public. Coincidentally they were eating Mexican at the time.

Someone finally admitted visiting Forks is actually kinda boring.

Ashley Greene hooked up with Ian Somerhalder reminding us that what she does best is sleep with men we could never get and bringing more pretty into our lives & giving us (more) excuses to write about Ian.

I mean, is it just me or was 2010 a pretty boring year for the cast? We had a little Swiftner. I think Nikki Reed probably slept with a douche bag. Kellan hooked up with Anna-Lynne again. Jackson fell in love with me, the Twilight Superfan, in Philadelphia & Boo-Boo Stewart’s voice dropped 3 whole notes, but I think that’s it. No one even cares about Ashley & Joe Jonas. Catherine barely tried to remind us that she created Robsten. For as much shit as he talked on Twi before he got the Eclipse directing gig, David Slade turned out to be really boring. Solomon Trimble’s life is kinda too sad to even make fun of anymore, and Chris Hansen and Boo-Boo Stewart jokes just aren’t as funny as they were with Taylor Lautner. Come on Twilight in 2011, you BETTER give us SOMETHING good!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What did I miss? What else (should have) happened in the world of Twilight in 2010!?

Oh- We don’t want to forget to tell you, starting January 3rd the Biggest Loser challenge on the Forum (renamed “Resolutionary Challenge 2011″) is kicking off: Make sure you join everyone if you’re looking for fun, encouragement & healthy living in 2011!!! Resolutionary Challenge 2011

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

53 Commented


Oh where, oh where is a new LTT….?

Dear LTT,

(Sing the letter title to the tune of “Oh where oh where has my Little Dog Gone”)

As you can see we don’t have a new letter today. I think Moon’s internet broke last night at work and at home. I told her I thought Armageddon hit Los Angeles because of all the sin. And of course by “sin” I mean that one time when Kellan & Anna-Lynn hit up a Motor  Lodge in Studio City. And once when Olive Garden ran out of breadsticks & Big Daddy called in Taylor to karate chop the chef. (Chef= guy making $6.00/hour to heat stuff up in the oven). And also the cardinal sin of Rob Pattinson being in LA last weekend while Moon was not.

Yes, this is why Moon’s internet broke. And this is why there is no LTT today. Blame it on the motor lodge/breadstick guy/Rob Pattinson. Oh, and Summit. Because that’s just what we do here at LTT.

Love,

UC & Moon

12 Commented


Harry Potter Vs. Twilight

This is spoiler free, but I can’t promise the comments are

Dear Harry & Edward (love me through that),

Damn you auto correct!

Yep. This is what we’re discussing today. The whole world is talking Harry Potter, so I’m using my Twilight blog to do that as well. Deal with it. I’m a “Harry Potter-Coma” having just seen the movie a few hours ago and I can’t get Ron and his BROAD SHOULDERS out of my head. I also love the irony that when I typed “RON IS SO HOT” in a text to someone on my iPhone, it auto-corrected that to “ROB IS SO HOT.” Apparently when I talk about Rob Pattinson, my phone wants me to call him Ron, but when Ron Weasley is the topic of conversation, the phone thinks he should be called “Rob.” Sigh… technology… All that to say, I love Rob & Ron and I don’t care what you call either- I still love them both.

Best Halloween ever

First on the agenda is how badly I wanted to wear my Hermione cape from Halloween a few years ago and my Harry Potter glasses to the movie, but we were rushing out the door & I couldn’t find them. (But my bff’s husband did show up to the movie wearing a “New Moon” baseball cap he stole from my “Box-o-crap” from Stephenie Meyer, cocked to the side. He’s 36 years old. And walked out after the movie, exclaiming loudly “That was good, but it’s no New Moon.” Jerk) And it got me thinking… why am I comfortable showing up to a Sunday matinee of Harry Potter dressed as a high school “logical” witch (loved that line) but would NEVER dress up like Bella and go see a Twilight film? Is it that I’m too invested in this fandom? I know “too much” (cue vampire killing scene)? And I fear that by showing a little Twilight spirit in the movie theater I’d be compared to That #1 Twilight fan who’s clearly on “The List?” I’ve seen too many Twi-crazies in my day & know better? But there are Harry Potter crazies too. Like this guy. In fact, Harry Potter crazies are probably weirder than Twi-crazies because of the magic-aspect. And their crazy fans tend to be boys who dress up like boy wizards. Weird. What if there is a LTHP (Letters to Harry Potter)-like site out there right now that makes fun of crazy Harry Potter fans like we do with Twi-fans? What if I had dressed up like Hermione & ended up on their site starring under the post “2nd-hand embarrassing grown Harry Potter fans?” I WOULDN’T CARE! I’d welcome that title. Seriously. I’d be proud. I’d tell my friends, I’d post a copy in the elevator of my building, I’d include it in my Christmas letter! Is that because I know deep down that despite being a huge fan, I’m not a crazy Harry Potter fan? And if so, does my lack of desire to dress in anything that connects me to the crazies of the Twilight fandom mean that I know, deep down, I really am a crazy Twi-fan? So many questions…. so little time. I need a time-turner. Hermione is so lucky.

As Mr. Choice & I were driving home, he mentioned that he thinks the story J.K. Rowling created was one of the best of the past 1,000 years. (Why the past 1,000 years and not the past 100? I have no idea. But I think it has something to do with the flask of whiskey he suck into the theater) And I agreed. The story is incredible. And he’s only seen the movies. That’s impressive and means the movies do a lot to pay tribute to the greatness of J.K. Rowling’s words. And so I told him that makes me even more convinced that Stephenie Meyer’s story is the sole reason for the success of the Twilight saga. After he was done rolling his eyes because I, once again, brought Twilight into something non-Twilight, he said, “Well, duh, it’s her story.” But no.. hear me out: He loves Harry Potter a TON and will never read the books. I know a lot of people like that. I cannot name one person who really enjoyed the Twilight saga movies and then didn’t read the books. I can name a LOT of people who didn’t read the books and also did not enjoy the movies. It’s possible for someone to see a Twilight movie & get interested in the story. But it isn’t until after they read the whole world Stephenie created that they are really entranced by Bella & Edward. I think the movie might wet their appetite & then the books seal the deal. And let’s be honest, the movies aren’t that great. I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again (unless there’s a sex scene like in The Notebook- should I even bother subliminally entering that into my letters? The scene was already shot- any room in the budget for re-shoots if I keep begging!?) So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that a lot of people are turned off by the movies & never give the books a chance. And despite the so-so films, Twilight has been one of the most wildly successful book series & sagas of recent memory. That is all due to one Miss- err Mrs. Stephenie Meyer. She created this story where WE feel like we’re Bella. We connect to her because it could have been our teenaged-selves! Everything is full of angst when you’re a teenager! And I think that’s hard to translate to the movie screen- maybe even harder than apparating in the middle of a wand fight or flushing someone down the toilet. Okay, maybe that’s hard too, but you know what I’m saying…..

Team Edward, we have competition. And she's rich

And speaking of comparing “Twilight vs. Harry Potter” (as I’ve called today’s letter) WHY IS ANYONE DOING THAT!? There is NO comparison. They are SO completely different! Sure, we can compare box office numbers: Last year New Moon opened this same weekend with almost 20 million more in revenue. WIN for Twilight. We can compare book sales: J.K. Rowling has sold more than 400 million. Stephenie has only sold 100 million plus. WIN for HP. We can compare how we feel after seeing each movie: During Eclipse I shed a few tears & felt gooey in my insides for “Ron.” During Harry Potter yesterday I cried like 4 times and felt gooey for “Rob.” It’s a tie. Why do people feel the need to compare & contrast two successful franchises? Can’t they both just be successful & yet completely different? Does one have to be “better” than the other? I write a Twilight blog, not a Harry Potter blog, does that mean I decided Twilight was better? I LOVE Harry Potter. I LOVE Twilight. Don’t make me choose between them!! That’s like saying choose between Rob Pattinson & Ryan Gosling. Why do I have to choose? I’ll take them both! You can find similar traits the guys share- or similar themes or qualities of the movies & books and then decide what excels in certain categories, but overall, they are what they are: Twilight has emerged as the best vampire series. Harry Potter is the best for the boy Wizards of the world. Oh, and don’t forget Hunger Games- that’s the best story of societal downfall & oppression of people. And Lords of the Rings wins for religious themes! And sometimes when you want a good cry, you just want to crack open a Nicolas Sparks book and watch him kill off your favorite character. Dammit- let me love what I love!!

That felt good. I like Harry Potter vs. Twilight days.
In conclusion, this video rules if you haven’t seen it yet. If you have, watch again. Pay attention to the last part. Twilight & Harry Potter just can’t escape each other:

Riddikulus,
UnintendedChoice

What do you think the fascination of comparing Harry Potter & Twilight stems from? Can we blame it on Rob Pattinson aka Cedric Diggory? Would YOU Dress up to go see either movie?

FYI: If you discuss a spoiler, make sure to mark it  SPOILER nice & big & leave a few blank lines in the comments so no one gets spoiled!!!

Oh & don’t forget that UNTIL TOMORROW it’s the Friends & Family sale at Cafe Press! That means you can save $10 on orders of $50+ (use code: Friend10). Have an LTT/LTR friend you’ve made and wanna share the love? Or maybe your desk just really needs that Fake Lesbians coffee mug sitting on it to stir up controversy at work… this is the time to do it! Get your shop on at the LTT/LTR Cafe Press Store NOW!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

103 Commented


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