Rob’s New Fragrance!

Smells like… how do you say… ah yes, SEXY.

Hey Guys!

Rob is the new spokeswhore (TM Dlisted) for Dior Men’s Fragrances. I know, right??!?! I guess people think he smells like stuff other than stale cheetos and the inside of a second hand clothing shop. Shocking. So clearly, Rob needed a way to pay for his new pad since he dumped the old love nest (too many memories. And stains). So enter Christian Dior and their office full of Robsessed ladies and here we are: Robert Pattinson face of Men’s Dior Fragrances.

So I got to thinking if Rob’s the new face of these fragrances, what would they smell like? Well, have no fear people I’m here and I have a warped creative imagination!

Dior Italiano – It smells like a pizza rolled up and stuffed in a sweaty men’s Italian leather shoe, that’s been worn through a dirty puddle behind Ye Rustic Inn.

Dior Angeleno – It smells like an old gym sock worn to a PF Chang’s Rock N Roll Marathon after a trip to the dog park where it accidentally stepped in dog poop.

Dior Robbe – It smells like an ’86 BMW full of greasy old In-N-Out bags on fire in the number 4 lane on the 405 North.

Dior Unbroken – It smells like adolescent tears drying on a copy of “Forever” by Judy Blume loaned out from the public library.

In light of the recent Brad Pitt Chanel Fragrance commercials there is one thing for sure: I CAN’T WAIT to see the commercials/print ads Rob’ll do for Dior. We need Rob talking about scents, and men, and life and love and he has to use the word “essence” a lot. We’d also like him to look super hot. Come on Dior DON’T LET US DOWN!!!

Smell ya later!
Moon

 

8 Commented


Ye Rustic Inn and Denim Cut Offs and Public Reconciliation

Yes, those are icicle Christmas lights! Klassy!

Dear Rob and Kristen,

So we’re 30 days out from the last movie and you two decided to get back together. Sure you’re not even living together which pretty much tells us everything we need to know about this reunion. I do want to say, however, that I appreciate that you choose Ye Rustic Inn for your first (totally not staged) reunion in public for so many reasons.

First off Ye Rustic is about a block from my first apt in LA and was the site of so many dumb crazy nights. Second the Rustic is a dirty greasy shit hole with a loud ass juke box and gross carpet and old dudes. I appreciate that you chose this dump to show the world your rekindled love because really what could better represent your relationship at this point them a greasy dump? Yup, nothing.

Palace of love!

I spent about 2 minutes wondering if you ordered a basket of their wings and if you got beer or a crappy mixed drink. And is Kristen 21 yet? When did that happen and how did I forget? Also Did you sit in one of those circular booths and feed quarters into the joke box so that the entire AC/DC discography would play? And then later did you stumble across the street to play darts at (the equally fabulous shit hole) The Drawing Room and complete the journey from sober paparazzi outing to totally shit faced illusion of love?

I’m only sad I wasn’t there to see the looks on the faces of the regulars as they sat on their bar stools and gave you the side eye. But I’m glad you included a famous local dive in your tour de love you’ve had over the last few days. I’m sure they’re gonna get a ton of business in a few weeks! BMC (before Mini Cooper) you guys were hardly seen out together so many times in one week but not now! But I guess with 30 days left… ain’t no time to lose!

Forgot something?

Also lunch out the next day? You two are working this public reconciliation thing hard! Nice try yall! Oh and KStew? Button your freaking pants up. It might have been hot the past few days here in LA, but this isn’t MTV Spring Break 1995 and you don’t have one of those sun/dolphin tattoos circling your belly button. Thanks.

Off to get some wings!
Moon

24 Commented


Kristen has her “Eat, Pray, Love” moment *sigh*

Look it says “Follow your bliss” next to a picture of Deepak Chopra!

Dear Kristen-

You are far too young to be having an “Eat, Pray, Love” moment right now. I get that you’ve had it pretty rough the last few weeks (though probably not totally undeserved) but “finding your truth” is best left to the girls my age who’ve worked in LA for about 5 years and realized they’re NOT going to meet Robert Pattinson by being Agent X’s 2nd assistant in charge of his coffee and dry cleaning and then they take off for Thailand for 2 months and burn every career bridge in the quest to “follow their bliss.”

The news about you not even READING Eat, Pray, Love but that after WATCHING Eat, Pray, Love with Julie Roberts you became interested in Gandhi and his writings which it totally weird to me because I really don’t remember Gandhi even being mentioned in that movie. And furthermore, if you’re getting off on Gandhi let’s remember he was a Hindu and they believer in the power of Karmic retribution and you might REALLY want to think about what you’ve put out there and what you might get back.

Oregano?

Instead of posting up in the “Spirituality” section of Barnes and Noble and creating a “Vision Board” with pictures of Jodi Foster and puppy dogs and Emily the Strange stickers in your quest to “visualize” your future maybe you should just own up to getting caught and then go watch something like “Friday Night Lights” and cry and think about how much you can learn from a real woman like Tami Taylor and not from Julia Roberts’s character who uses and abuses.

So Rupert Sanders may have “found his true north” in a mini cooper but giiiiirrll there’s more to life than a rerun of Eat, Pray, Love on Starz at 2 in the morning. I believe in you!

Namaste!
Themoonisdown

PS Kristen, it’s really shitty that the holy trinity won’t be at the final fan convention. Like REALLY. Way to screw that up.

Source: Radar (take it with a grain of salt, y’all!)

37 Commented


A little Penny Lane wisdom

“I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.” – Penny Lane

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Dear Twilight Fans,

I think Penny Lane said it best when she shared this bit of wisdom with William and I’ve tried to apply it to many things in life especially stuff like bands and music and obsessions like Twilight. Remember that this was once FUN! Find that place again,  take Penny’s words to heart and remember why you’re in this thing: the friends you’ve met, the films you’ve seen, the fun times you’ve had and above all the story Stephenie Meyer gave us.

XOXO,
Moon

12 Commented


Remember that whole Robsten thing? Well…

Dear LTT-ers,

If you were not on Twitter late yesterday (west coast time) than you might have missed ALLLLL this:


Kristen Cheats on Rob! – US Weekly

Kristen Stewart cheats on Robert Pattinson with married director -People

Kristen Stewart “Made a Mistake” and feels “Awful” for cheating on Robert Pattinson – Gossip Cop

uhhhh… YIKES!

So when my phone started blowing up with texts from far and wide asking what was going on/what was happening/WHYGODWHY/Why should she do that and UC texting unintelligible things like ZOMGROmKirstncheeteosjhasisdj!!!!!jn!_!! I knew Twitter would be a mess and MAN did it not disappoint. We’re talking a 2009 era explosion among the fandom. I saw people who hadn’t tweeted in years come out of the wood work to weigh in, Nutty Madam was confounded, the fandom Glitterati came out in force to share their thoughts!

To say it was/is spectacular is an understatement. We hadn’t seen this much creativity and hilarity in months. Thank you fandom Gods for seeing to it that we got Christmas in July and that I wasn’t half way across the world when it happened. Since the story is still developing and since we couldn’t let you miss out on a single moment, we’re going to be bringing you all the best from Twitter and around the nets all day. Stay tuned here for a the best of the best in Krupbert-Robsten-gate.

Moon & UC

Updates:

Always the voice of reason and my blogging idol Micheal K from Dlisted has A LOT (of awesome things) to say about this

Every Twihard Just Melted Into a Puddle of Sparkly Misery – Dlisted

PS Michael we beat you to the Nutty Madam response. BEHOLD the twitter convo:



Now Nutty Madam is an elegant lady who is refraining from a reaction video (sadly) because she supports Twi and all it’s endeavors but just think about the possibilities and what might have been… :)

More as the story develops… (I think that’s the first and only time we’ll ever say that)

Tweets we Love (authors are anonymous)

She was careless. Her popularity will plummet. She has jeopardized sequels to SWATH & put BD at risk. No studio will want her. And with a director? Oh god.

Cuz when someone cheats in Hollywood it usually does completely ruin their career:

The spectulation about “the pictures”

so i am not in the crazy robsten forever and she woudl NEVER..but the ones standing..way too tall to be her, unless
she has heels on

AND WE KNOW SHE HATES HEELS!

These things we know to be true:

somewhere out there, michael angarano is having a pretty good day.

@joshuahorowitz sir, you know you secretly in the corner whisphering, “yes” because you think you have a chance with him. Don’t play

Follow us on @letter2twilight on Twitter (or just look at our page if you’re not a member!) for the latest…. There’s too much goodness to keep posting & I realllyyyyy have to work!

37 Commented


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