Breaking Dawn is trying to sell us something else

Dear Breaking Dawn Promo stuff,

Sometimes I get the feeling you are trying to sell me more than just the movie. Like when I look at the promo pictures it feels like there’s really an underlying message or brand I’m being sold. It’s as if the Summit Marketing team got together to come up with some ideas for “brand partnerships” to create “film and corporate synergy.” Yea, I’m pretty sure the word “synergy” was used a lot… So when I saw this latest batch of promo headshots from Breaking Dawn I knew I had to be onto something…
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Poor dude who plays Caius, with every movie he loks progressively more and more like Fabio. They might as well just give him a tub of butter to hold while he’s sitting behind Aro in the Voltera, Italy scenes and help make some extra money with product placement.

Charley Bewley is like one faux hawk and guy liner fueled make up and hair session away from his own Ed Hardy ad campaign. Poor guy, it’s not like he wants a rhinestrone tiger havng sex with a Koi fish on his chest, give the guy a break folks.
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Carlisle’s not just the president, he’s also a member!

Dude, Carlisle is already winning the race for worst wig in Breaking Dawn and we haven’t even seen the film yet. YIKES.
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Sure, most of Kellan’s life has been spent looking like an outtake from International Male Catalogue but we don’t need the official promo shots reminding everyone! Though I’m pretty sure Emmett did some Internantional Male Modeling in the 80s, I don’t want to see his mesh shirt collection any times soon.

(For a good time google image search “International Male Catalogue”)
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Why does Edward ALWAYS end up looking like an Insurance salesmen/Real Estate broker/Weatherman/Boringest Person In the World??? How is it possible to make Robert Pattinson look like the dad across the street? Stop trying so hard Wardrobe Dept! We know he’s 107 years old, we’re supposed to be tricking the dumb Forks, WA townspeople not making a neon sign pointing to this guy saying “This guy could be your great grandpa not your son’s classmate!”
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Sorry Alice… Sorry Twimoms but COME ON! Though I feel this latest incarnation of Alice’s hair is probably closeted to how Stephenie describes it, it still looks like she should be loading up orange slices and Capri Suns into the mini van.
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While Emmett was busy modeling for International Male in the 80s, Jasper deciding to make some extra dough moonlighting at the local Chippendale’s club. Doing that face the entire time. Just that face, some cuffs and a g string. All night long. Try not to laugh. When Chippendale’s went belly up because of a Bachlorette party done awry Jasper made the move to modeling heinous man jewelry for Hot Topic. They already have replica Bella saint bracelets, the wedding ring and Alice’s velvet choker (!!!) why not take the next step and offer the small male contingency who loves Twilight some Jasper jewelry? I know what I’m getting The Font and White Yorkie for Christmas! Terrible  jewelry!!!

Am I the only one who feels this way about some of these promo’s? Maybe I should be hired by Summit to oversee Brand Synergy! Clearly, I have a knack for what’s happening.

Off to Chipendales!
Themoonisdown

Why do they always look so crazy? Do you guys feel the same way?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

25 Commented


Breaking Dawn Pt 1 Soundtrack – Let’s Discuss

November 8th!

Dear LTT-ers,

So it’s become a bit of a tradition (1, 2) for us to delve into the Twilight soundtrack after they’re announced because well, we love music… and I work in it. What isn’t to like about tearing apart the track listing and artists and see what we can learn about the film from it… aka make wild guesses and assumptions.

At first glance I’m intrigued this is definitely NOT the same vibe as New Moon and Eclipse with it’s “indie” (vom, I hate that word) esque sensibilities and thoughtful inclusions… this is almost more in the vein of the first Twi soundtrack minus the mid 90s vibe of Collective Soul etc. *shudder* I think the thing we need to remember going into this is that music in film is meant to enhance a mood or feeling in a scene and to help tell the story without being a total distraction (and come in under budget).

So we’re back at it again with the Chop Shop crew at the helm with Bill Condon so let’s see what they’ve brought us…

1.  The Joy Formidable – Endtapes
This is one I was excited to see because I’ve been listening to their album The Big Roar for the last year. Though they’re not my end all be all, I’m glad they were included because they’re the type of artist I would expect on a Twilight Sountrack. I’m assuming this will be some type of upbeat scene with driving or running or maybe when Bella gets out of the car at the gas station at the beginning of BD. Ya know, if we’re being literal.

Listen:

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2.  Angus & Julia Stone – Love Will Take You
Lovely little brother and sister duo on Nettwerk another lovely little label. Their music has been on a bunch of  CW shows and Greys Anatomy so this isn’t a big surprise of a pick… but they’re kinda snoozeville to me. They seem like one of those bands that was put together for the sole purpose of inclusion on soundtracks and tv shows: innocuous, girl with a baby voice, sounds nice in the background, easy to clear, that sorta thing. I’m sure they’re nice folks and all but Zzzzzzzzzz. I see this in some sort of chill scene maybe the morning after! Heh heh!
Listen:

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3.  Bruno Mars – It Will Rain
Ok, so I don’t hate it like UC hates it… she says she can’t even listen to it all the way through. It’s not awful… I wouldn’t kick it out of bed but I’m not ready to spoon with it either.

Some thoughts to settle the crowd down a little: All other lead singles (Twi excluded) haven’t even been featured IN the movie, only over the credits. SO if you hate it THAT much you can just run out before the credits roll. It’s probably a move to get more radio play for the soundtrack and in turn more moola. It’s not like Death Cab and Muse were being played 40 times during Ryan Seacrest’s morning show, so who better to choose as the single than the dude who’s basically PRINTING cash based off his publishing on his songwriting and chart topping songs this last year.

If it’s included in an actual scene, this feels like first dance or dance with Jacob material to me. Vulture is calling it Twilight’s version of “Kiss From a Rose,” I’m also feeling Robin Hood’s “Everything I do, I do it for you” or The Three Muskateers “All for Love.” All of these were massive radio hits which goes back to my theory on why this is the single: CASH. Der. Too bad they couldn’t get Bryan Adams, Sting and Rod Stewart to reunite one more time to create the BD song. I know my mom would have been pumped.

Listen to the actual song! Or buy it on itunes

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This is SO long we need a cut! Follow the jump for ALL 15 tracks!
Continue…

46 Commented


Breaking Down the Breaking Dawn Trailer! Rageward, Breeds and Awkwardness!

Dear Breaking Dawn and Bill Condon and Stephenie and LTT-ers,

OMG!!! I just got so excited, apparently it took a well timed and well cut trailer to get me back in this game but I’m here baby and we’re ready to break this Breaking Dawn trailer down!

So put me in coach and LET’S DO THIS! (sorry,wrong movie)…

The One Where They Can NEVER Get It Right…
Moon
: myelloooo runaways and eclipse are on tv right no. fyi
UC: orgasm. kristen gasm
Moon: oh nakey jakey….. ok anyway! so lets do this
UC: okay LET’s and i’m druhnk like runk! so sorry in advnace
Moon: ok go… AH it goes so quick in the beginning!
UC: is it suposed to sound like crap ? and just be FLASHES of images?
Moon: fun note/trivia: there is ALWAYS a beach/water in the opening shot
UC: ALWAYS

We look awful!

Moon: ok freeze it at :11 we HAVE to talk about carlisle’s awful hair. i mean WTF is going on?
UC: it’s falling out” early on-set vampire baldness?
Moon: even the ice truck killer behind him wants to kill that wig
UC: it’s fake HAHAHAHAH forgot about him
Moon: its like HOW do they ef up the hair EVERY TIME???!!! EVERY.TIME.
UC: EVERY TIME. the wig people must be OLD
Moon: like im pretty sure jasper has had diff hair color and style EVERY time
UC: yeah- NOT consistent with the book
Moon: alice looks like a soccer mom with a van
UC: hahahahahahhaahahaahah and Emmett looks like a Ken doll. Rosalie looks… the best! & Esme looks the same
Moon: i mean its supposed to be short and spikey not “i just cut orange slices for the soccer game” short

Bella: "FML!"

UC: and then there are the playboy bunnies behind them. Where’s Hef?
Moon: aawwwwwww, the girls next door showed up for the big day! aka the bitch edward ran off to in midnight sun
UC: Are they the denalis?
UC: They’re hot
Moon: yea the girls next door are the denali’s
UC: no wonder Bella was jealous
Moon: for realzzzzzz. thats like miss january, feburary and march coming to your wedding

I feel ill....

The One Where Cedric Got The Flu
UC: Are the girls, Alice, Rosealie and Esme not IN the wedding?
UC: I don’t know how I feel about this.. did that not happen in the book?
Moon: i guess not… i read it once, remember?
UC: haha okay

Moon: ok so we can see sleeves on the dress
UC: Besides looking like she stayed up for an all-nighter learning her “better for worse” lines.. Kristen looks GORGEOUS. Rob… ugh….
Moon: right kristen looks great. rob looks like cedric. the hair is SO awful
UC: Cedric with the flu. SO awful
Moon: like i said on twitter a few days ago HOW in the world do you make rob look bad??!! its like a summitt super power or something
UC: Yeah they are the ONLY ones. them at that photographer who shot Rob as a

I've still got that Snapple Cap

pre-teen in his boxers. they are the only ones
Moon: if they wanted him to look gross they could have just let him wear what he wore to set that day, or whatever he’s currently wearing in london RIGHT NOW
UC:
exactly
Moon:“as long as we both shall live” HALF SMILE. the edwad half smile!!! finally some stuff from the books
UC: FINALL Y. they remember we liked those first

Follow the jump because things get awkward, weird, inappropriate and everything else you’d expect from us
Continue…

184 Commented


Twilight stuff happens while you’re busy having fun!

Wedgie's happened while I was gone

Dear LTT,

A lot of shiz has happened in the like 4 weeks since I checked in on Twilight. Well, let’s be honest I saw two Twi related news items in my FB feed whilst I was busy spreading good will and Robsten cheer in Kenya. One was a picture of Rob holding a surfboard with his sideways toupee hairdo and the other was a picture of Kristen who clearly used a cranium sized bump-it and a bike pump to achieve this kind of volume on the cover of a magazine. So I take it Rob won an award and Kristen was on a magazine cover. But what REALLY happened while I was gone?

I took to the Twilight news blogs (BreakingDawnMovie.org, of course) to see what I missed…

  • Rob picks up groceries in shower shoes while Sam Bradley picks a wedgie. God, I (haven’t) missed so much. (Thx Lili for the tip and awful visual).
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G'Day Big Daddy! Let's throw another filet o fish on the barbie!

  • Taylor went to Australia to promote his High School Bourne Identity movie a month before it premieres on September 22. But I think the real news here is that Big Daddy is alive and well and went with him to Australia probably to see the Kangaroos and Koala’s and whether the latest restaurant in the Olive Garden family has opened yet. He’s their (faux) celebrity ribbon cutter and taste tester on ALL OG’s (hahaha how did I not see that Olive Garden’s initials are OG before this?) locations.
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  • Taylor ALSO began tweeting and started a Formspring which is basically just an excuse for us to ask him more about Big Daddy and if Taylor’s love of leather jackets comes from his fascination with leather daddies. True story. I really did ask that. He didn’t answer. Jerk.
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  • In other Twitter news, Nikki Reeed started an accunt (*edit* typo and it stays!). Ohhhh Nikki… Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. I’m counting the days till ome crazy over zealous Robstener’s drive you from the social network with AWFUL tweets like Joe Jonas’s crazy fans did with Ashley Greene. *Sigh*
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Get these mother effing Somali Pirates out of my mother effing Arena!

  • Kellan is in some direct-to-DVD shiz with Samuel BAMF Jackson called Arena. I know nothing about this other than the dvd cover shows Kellan in a leather jacket (leather daddy?!) fighting a somali pirate with an axe. NETFLIX this someone and report back.
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  • While I was away I received an email from a legit concert promoter telling me 100 Monkeys were playing the El Rey (again) and tickets were on sale. Am I the crazy person? Do real, actual, live human beings like this music and it’s not just an excuse to stare at  Jackson in a weird hat and fantasize it’s really Jasper and they’re Alice living out a real life fan fic scenario? Cause really I’m starting to question reality.
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  • Summit announced that Breaking Dawn Part 1: Regrettable Sexy Times (that’s really the tagline) will premiere 5 minutes from my house at Nokia Theater on November 14th. UC and I immediately began preparing our Red Carpet questions and dresses (Bella’s Replica Wedding Dress from Alfred Angelo OF COURSE) because we WILL be there. Oh yes, we WILL be there. This is your heads up Summit, hope you’ve added us to your “press” list. Anything we would ask will be a billion times better, more informative and enjoyable than that lady from access Hollywood or some other “fan sites” (yea I said it!) Just ask Stephenie Meyer! Forever and always our trump card.
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  • You know you’ve become one of those married/engaged people when you do shiz like this. Sorry Nikki Reed but NO.

Oh Rupert! LA loves you too

 

And with that… I think I may be caught up minus UC and I breaking down those new stills they released from Breaking Dawn Pt 1: Planned Parenthood Was Right! (The real tag line).

So happy to be back and I have some Twilight stories to share from Kenya another day.

Love to you all and mucho love-o to UC for holding down the fort while I was gone.

It’s Moon Bitches,
Themoonisdown

I know a ton of crap happend while I was gone that can’t be fit on BDmovie.org so what did I miss? Besides you guys, duh!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

100 Commented


Story time with Moon – Comic Con 2011

Dear LTT-ers,

A lovely story time with moon will be here once I’ve had time to upload my photos and find videos and finish this left over breaking dawn muffin that booboo served to me this morning. More on all of this later… After I sleep. And find my camera.

Your reporter in the field,
Moon

Dear Breaking Dawn,

It’s been one year since my last big Twilight related event and two years since my last Comic Con, so when you were going to be at this year’s Con I knew I had to be there… Here’s the story…


After one missed train and two missed trolleys, I finally made it down to “Tent City” sometime after midnight the night before the panel. Can I first interrupt and say they need a new name for “Tent City” as that is what they house prisoners in where I grew up (Arizona). New name needed stat!

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While waiting for Hall H to open we took in some of the world’s finest people watching…

This guy was confused… it’s a Wolfpack not a pack of sintars friend! PS The back of this costume had little wheels (sorry to spoil the magic) that scratched across the ground when he walked and sounded like Ringwraiths from Lord of the Rings or nails on a chalk board or a pack of screaming wild she-beast Twilight fans… I guess it was good preparation for what we would encounter later in Hall H


Yup, Comic Con is a place where blue mohawks and Team Edward can coexist much to the chagrin of all the haters
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We ran our arses back to the line because Summit trotted out the 2nd stringer cast members to serve us breakfast and sign autographs

And don’t worry I wasn’t above shoving my LTT Sigg bottle in her way so she would sign it… right next to the outline of Robsten! HA Jokes! The only thing I regret is not bringing the Fake Lesbians design. Fail.
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I think I saw just about every major Twi site owner in line including these two lovelies from His Golden Eyes and The Twilight Lexicon
I decided to creep them out by tweeting them a picture of themselves blogging and tweeting from the line. Don’t mind me, I’m just stalking you…
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And because there is nothing else to do in line but entertainin yourself by people watching becuse you have to save your cell battery and it’s hours till they open the doors I started seeking out the best fan shirts I could find. And wouldn’t you know it they were right around me. aka I’m lazy.
Trust me, click to enlarge, enjoy and laugh your arse off… or maybe set at your desktop background
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About a billion light years (hey, it is Comic Con after all!) later they finally decided it was time to start the annual running the of the bulls Twilight fans. I don’t have any pictures after this because it got a little fuzzy, all I remember was yelling, no running, poor CC volunteers, elbows in my back and Olympic style speed walking.

Hall H – meaning heaven… HALE… hillbillies… hipsters… green Hornets… horny ladies… yup, I think we fiured out what H stands for.
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Having been forewarned by UC and other tweeters that Rob had a “mohawk” we tentatively waited to see what that looked like and then finally we laid eyes on him…

This is essentially the same face we had upon seeing Rob’s shrunken toupee-askew hairdon’t WTF?! I mean it’s one thing to think it’s cool and rock the shit out of it, but it’s another to sit sidways the whole panel so we can’t see the weirdness head on.
O.
Once the screaming died down it was off to the races…


Right off the bat Rob threw his fetish girls a shout out with this water bottle pose…
..

Not to be out done he then went for this pose…

Knowing their audience and their love for dark, grainy, photoshop enhanced, are-they, aren’t-they, I lost my contact can you find it with your tongue in my mouth pictures, they threw a bone to the Robsteners with the occasional stolen whispered nothings between questions… or pretty much anytime Taylor or some rando was talking
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Yea, having a faux pregnancy for a film made my boobs this big!! I’d call it sympathy hormones. Yes, please ask me more questions about pregnancy, audience when I am but a 21 year old girl who has never been pregnant, I only play one in a movie… GREAT QUESTIONS.

Srsly people?!

After an aptly time question from a dude for Rob and Taylor asking how it was to work with a lot of hot women these lovely ladies came out to help liven it up which was good because my latte had worn off and I could’t do one more “What was your favorite part of filming” or “Kristen, how did your personal experiences affect how you played a pregnant Bella?” Absurd.

Then these ladies came up and Nikki Reed made it hella awkward by acting super cagey when asked whether the cast would stay in contact after the movies were over. AWKWARD!!!

Wanna watch the whole thing?

Be our guest! Have fun deciding which question was the most cringe-worthy!
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We were also treated to 2 clips from the movie that I can’t seem to find online an I’m SUPER surprised they weren’t up like 2 seconds after they played in Hall H. Well done Summit, scaring the SHIIIZZZ outta everyone.


I really hope this whole sheer shirt/black bra look catches on as the next KStew fashion statement that Twi fans pick up. Anything’s gotta be better than the shirt knot. PLEASE Kristen fans let’s make this new look happen.

More to come here!

Once all that Twilight hub bub was over and once we drowned our frazzled nerves in a few gallons of Diet Coke we headed over to the exhibit hall and wouldn’t you know it we saw an Alpaca!


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Why, yes I did walk around San Diego unashamedly drinking from the Edward the Insurance salesman Breaking Dawn swag cup. Ain’t no thang.

Be Back with more later!
Themoonisdown

Have you seen all the Comic Con pics and Q&A yet? DUDE where are the links to the clips from BD they showed??!!!

Photos by: Me (duh), VixinCali, BrookeLockart, and a ton of others by the end of this…

Announcement from UC after the Jump Continue…

55 Commented


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