Breaking it down: Preparing for the wedding and butchering meat

Dear LTT-ers,

There are some new stills from Breaking Dawn out, so you KNOW we were all over those like a Twifan on an Edward pillow. So here we go…
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You're so frugal Alice! You got both our shoes at the BOGO sale at Payless!

The one with THE Shoes
Moon: so it looks like most of these are like wedding planning type pics
UC: i don’t care WHAT designer they are.. they’re hideous
and so are Alice’s
Moon: clearly alice has already been at work because now bella’s wearing skin tight jeans and a pleather jacket from forever 21
 UC: right.. Good job Alice.. we’re getting her there
Moon: the shoes look vintage or just a bit worn
UC: just an odd heel. (bellas)
Moon: like alice took esme’s vintage original early 1900s wedding shoes and added some rhinestone appliqués from michaels to the top
Moon: bellas shoes are like the classier version of when people make their own wedding flip flops, only alice probably used swarovski on those shoes.
UC: I think Bella is saying “I get what you’re saying, Al.. the rhinestones are nice and all, but I really don’t understand why I can’t wear my smelly ol’ Chucks… No one will be able to SEE under my dress anyway.. and anything bad smelling on me just smells good to Edward anyway- so it doesn’st matter that they smell like I’ve warm them while damp since 10th grade”
Moon: do you think bella has to lie down to zip those jeans up? cause daaaamn gina
UC: THose are jeans? I thought that was body paint
 Moon: same diff… twilight brand jeans/jeggings/body paint coming to a hot topic near you. SYNERGY!
Moon:  look at alice’s hair line in the back, so is that a weird shadow or did the wig not fit right and they had to photoshop her REAL hair out???
UC:  hahahah you’re right.. WORST shadow.. or photoshopped hair.  I just.. don’t get Alice’s outfit… BLACK tights? alice would for sure be wearing tights with some sort of design on them and not that soccer mom “top” that covers birthing hips
Moon: i think its more the witchy-librarian shoes she wearing for me… sale at the Port Angeles Kohls yall!
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Belllaaa!! I just met a girl named BELLLAA!!

The with the musical!
Moon: do you think bella took edward to the “bad” part of town (graffiti!) to threaten him with his life if he shoved cake in her face?? cause i would/will SO do that. shes like if theres any cake near my face you will be the 108 yr old vampire virgin
UC: Yes. I also think they could have possibly gone to a dinner theater where they were performing West Side Story & their lucky numbers were pulled to come on stage & dance with the performers.

Does this mean we have to suck the blood of the Jets?

Moon: DUDE so weird how theres a big twilight/west side story connection
UC: what there is?
Moon: how many times have we mentioned it? and its been in that Rob photoshoot
UC: hahaha you’re right
 Moon: bella is going her best “in america” and edward is 100% antone
UC: So true!
Moon: even wearing the same outfit!!!
<—— Look!! —–
UC: hahahahah
Moon: make that belt bella’s wearing red and BOOM
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Follow the jump cause we keep going and it’s Friday and you want a laugh! Duh.
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Nikki Reed gets some ink and we wonder what it could be…

R-o-s-e... I mean R-o-s-a... dang it I can't even spell it right!

Dear Nikki,

Word on the street (courtesy of your picture or tip to the rags) is that you got matching tattoos with your brother last week. Of course my mind started racing, thinking about what your tattoo could be… a name, a saying, a memorial piece commemorating your fake lesbianship gone wrong with Kristen. So of course I hit the emails to see what my pals thought it could be. Because what else is there to wonder about then your new tattoo and the endless possibilities of laughs there could be? Witness the resulting email train as we try to deduce what the tattoo could be…

@moon – nikki reed got a tattoo… your guesses for what the tattoos says or is… AND GO!

@brookelockart- my gut says it’s the shocker symbol and below it reads “Two in the Pink – One in the Stink.” All in cursive cause that’s classy

@calliopeblabs - it matches her brothers correct? therefore i’m going to guess it says “legalize it… sibling lovin’” OR “its ok in KY” i’ve no idea what sort of relationship nikki reed has with her brother. however… it wouldn’t surprise me. i mean, where exactly do you go after rob?

@pinkfluffgirl – Obviously, a bleeding heart and then  KSTEW 4EVA ….OR F U Rob….
“But I loved her first” is most likely. In Curly Cue font. Because that’s lipstick lesbian-y

@too_far_gone “he was mine, you skanky bitch”

@pinkfluffgirl - maybe “I BLEW HIM FIRST” would be more apropos

@moon – my guess? a withering loquat tree with the phrase “what could have been” underneath it?

RIP KS + NR + RP + MA
2008 – 2009 1/2

@brookelockart – What if they went his and her cholo and chola tatts?? Tattooed tears? She does look like she’d cutabitch.

@UC – “I FKD ROB” but that’s just what i’d get

@veryemerald – I’d go with tick marks like when you are counting by 5′s and the fifth line goes across the first four. Probably be easier to keep track of all the men she has been and will continue to sleep with to try and get that “Rob” feeling back. and when people ask she can make something up like “oh its just the number of time I’ve prayed with Kellan”…

@obird - One of two things: “Get a Bitch or be a Bitch” OR my favorite “Boobs in the Shoes”

@brookelockart – “CONFIRMED WITHOUT WORDS”

@tiffanized - It’s easier to guess what it’s NOT. Like it’s definitely not “Natural Blonde” or “True Love Waits”. My official guess is . . . a portrait of Catherine Hardwicke, since she obviously sold her soul to C-Hard in order to be cast as the most beautiful female vampire in Twilight.

@moon – tested and approved: hepatitis free!

Then the big guns started coming out… and by big guns obviously I mean bored girls with photoshop…

@obird – “I got your loquats right here”…..of course across her chest.

@proselyte3 – Pfft…it obviously states:   ‘I am relevant’
or maybe this…

DING DING DING!!! I think we have a winner! The perfect combination of bitchiness, anger and wistfulness all wrapped up into a little memento you’ll have forever, Nikki. If this is really it, we may never know… or we may just have to wait a few weeks till it heals and can be seen perfectly by the paparazzi lenses.

Call us if you want to reveal it exclusively on LTT!
Themoonisdown

So what’s your guess? What is Nikki Reed’s tattoo? A saying, an image, a dolphin jumping through a rainbow hoop with Rob riding on it’s back? Weigh in on your guess in the comments

BIG THANKS to the funny ladies who made me laugh enough to post this email! I’ve got an appointment to get a tattoo of you guys on my bicep right next to my Stephenie Meyer autograph tattoo! Follow these ladies: @proselyte3, @obird, @tiffanized, @brookelockart, @veryemerald, @too_far_gone, @pinkfluffgirl, @calliopeblabs

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

355 Commented


Appreciation Sunday: Nikki Reed

Dear Nikki Reed,

No, it’s not April Fool’s day and YES, we mean YOU Nikki Reed. We are going to be appreciating you this Sunday for our reoccurring post Appreciation Sunday. I know you’re probably pretty surprised but we do have a lot to be appreciative about when it comes to you… so let’s get started shall we?

We appreciate…

Your body
While some of the gals in Twilight have the bodies of 13 year old boys giiirrrrrrl you got some curves in all the right places. I can’t lie I was super jelly of your booty in that vampire baseball uniform. Thanks for keeping it real for the rest of us and all I can say is: You better WORK girl.
c
Paris Latsis
I think I speak for all woman kind when I thank you for falling on this grenade. Poor poor Paris spent an unfortunate amount of time with a one Miss Paris Hilton and for that well, he’s considered unclean and probably lacking a little in the mental facilities BUT he did find you and you both seem to be happy and while he has looked like a member of Color Me Bad in the past, he IS a greek shipping heir so I gotta hand it to you boyfriend who owns yachts that sail around GREECE ain’t too shabby. Well played my dear.

Find out what else we appreciate about Nikki Reed after the jump
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Twilight at the Scream 09 Awards – a mind f*ck

This one's for the werewolves!!

This one's for the werewolves!!

Dear LTT-ers and people who like scary movies and watch stuff like the Scream Awards-

Ashley, Chelsea and I had the pleasure of attending the Scream awards last night at the Greek Theater wherein Twilight was nominated for like 8 bajillion awards and wherein apparently EVERY celeb feels like showing up to check out the freaks n geeks. Mostly freaks. And wherein we dressed up like Twilight characters. Yup.

Here’s our story…

Being the freaks we are and because we had to (audience members come in costume) we went for authentic Twilight, New Moon Costumes. Like seriously we analyzed each characters outfits and pulled together costumes down to the minute details. Here we are as Alice, Rosalie and Victoria (as seen in New Moon)

Alice, Victoria and Rosalie giving our best bitch face

Alice, Victoria and Rosalie giving our best bitch face

Ok, maybe we're not so mean!

Ok, maybe we're not so mean!

Follow the cut to hear the rest of our Scream Awards experience and to hear ALL about the new NM footage!
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New Level of dedication: Twilight Flow Chart

Dear Twilight,

Yesterday, UC and I were having a discussion about the Wolfpack ladies. UC kept confusing Tinsel Korey with Julia Jones and I was kept confusing Julia Jones with January Jones who she most certainly isn’t and it became clear: We needed a flow cart to remember all these new folks and how they’re all connected in the Twilight world. So I set out to create a master flow chart and as the day wore on (and on) and I remembered more and more connections and it become more of a circle flow chart, cause just like Rafiki tells us: it’s the circle of life and it moves us all.

And what came out looks a lot like a grade school project… next up book reports and a diorama of Bella’s room in a shoe box.

Yea, this is what you do with your spare time when you’re a Twilight blogger.

Twilight Dork of the Day Award Recipient/Life Time Achievement Nominee,
Themoonisdown

Enjoy this cause it took for darn near ever. Oh and click on it to open in a new window, cause it’s HUGE!

Clicky to enlarge and be amazed at my time wasting!

Clicky to enlarge and be amazed at my time wasting!

Um yea! If I missed anything TOO BAD! hahaha

Go enjoy a letter to Rob that rules!
Talk about this level or nerdiness in the forum!

Take the cut to see a special treat
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