A Harry Potter fan comes to the dark side. And likes it!

(hello lovelies! I am in the midst of moving to a new place so while I’m packing away all my valuable Twilight merchandise, double bubble wrapping the signed Saga and tucking Action Figure Edward into my handbag for the ride over, I’m going to let WickedRed take the reigns today and tell us about her secret friends with benefits relationship with Twilight while being a hardcore Potter fan. Enjoy and light a candle for me that our movers will not lose my jorts and Jacob tshirt! xo- moon)

Sshhh it'll be our little secret...

Dear Twilight,

I don’t know how much longer we can get away with doing this.

It’s only a matter of time before someone discovers the truth and then it’s all downhill from there! I’ll be marked as a traitor! My friends will disown me! Worst of all, he’ll never forgive me.

I’m talking about Harry, of course. Harry Potter.

I know. I KNOW! Stop judging me! You knew his world was part of the deal when you got involved! …I know you two are very different novels and I’m just as sick of the comparisons as you are, okay? But sadly there are enough idiots in the media that think to compare you to Harry simply because you’re both phenomenally popular fantasy novels. It’s caused a rivalry between you two that’s worse than vampires and Death Eaters… I mean, Dumbledore’s Army and the Volturi…. Fuck it. You get the point!

That’s why I’ve got to keep our relationship a secret, you see.

Coventions, huh? Which costume did you wear?

I met Harry and his friends before I was old and wise enough to fill in the S. Meyer’s blanks on Isle Esme. We grew up together. I started looking at his fan sites. Then I started working on a fan site for one of the cast members. I made a network of friends. I traveled to premieres and conventions. CONVENTIONS! I interviewed the cast and crew. It was clear that Harry Potter was the only one of me.

And then, years later, you came along.

Honestly, you had a bad reputation. A BAD reputation. But my best friend, who wasn’t involved with my other escapades and loves you, insisted that I give you a try. I was intrigued. One quick reading through wasn’t really cheating if no one found out, right?

But it wasn’t just a quick read through. It was a serious, this-could-cause-an-obsession connection. It was love. If I were a fan of any other series, it wouldn’t be a problem, but it is. People think I can just tell my hardcore Potter family that I like both series and they’ll accept that. I think these are the same people who still believe that somewhere far far away, unicorns are dancing under an everlasting rainbow high up in the sky. The world is in the midst of a cloaks-on-jorts war, people! Get in step!

Uh, cause these fans have much room to talk!

I’ve noticed it’s pretty much a one-way street, Twilight. Your family lets Harry be, mostly. If you weren’t natural enemies, your crowd might even like him.  If you weren’t stealing his thunder and getting endless comparisons, Harry’s crowd might even like… no, not even then. To be a major part of Harry’s family, hating on you (and your crowd) is practically a requirement. I must admit that I did it myself for quite some time before giving you a chance.

So I read your books without telling anyone. I actually HID them when Potter friends visited. I watched your movies with an alibi prepared (I’ve seen Toy Story 3 like six times!) I claim that all knowledge of the books and films are secondhand, because my mother is a big fan. That’s acceptable, because my mother also watches daytime soap operas.

I’ve tried to divide my obsession time equally between you. I even considered starting a blog called “Letters To Potter” before I realized that I’m not a hack who likes to rip people off.. and I’m really not that funny.

Here’s the problem with this situation: Remember that annoying, confused Bella that you just want to facepunch all through Eclipse? I am her. She is me. Dammit, I’m THAT girl.

It all begins with a choice...

The truth is, Harry Potter will always be my Edward Cullen. The irony of that sentence kills us all. But you, Twilight, you’re my Jacob. Yes, I’m using your plot line to justify that shortcomings in our relationship right now. Sorry.

What I mean to say is this– just because I didn’t fall in love with you first doesn’t mean I want to keep you by my side forever.

Maybe someday they’ll all find out under some crazy circumstance. When that time comes, let them say what they might. I’ve heard it all before! They just don’t understand our love.

In the meantime, will you keep being my sweet literary piece of ass on the side?

Right then. See you tomorrow!

Your Secret Lover,

Oh WickedRed, we love you and your secret love affair with the Twi. Can’t we all just get along though, Twi fans and HP fans, because it seems like the line is blurred A LOT. UC is a HUGE Potter fan, Stephenie herself is a HUGE potter fan and I’ve heard the 1st book (ok, ok sorry I know!) But can’t the Potterheads just live and let live? What say you readers? Are you an HP fan? Can we really get along?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

174 Commented

Remember when we met Stephenie Meyer?!

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Remember that time you invited us and some other folks to come meet you, hang out for 4 hours, eat bacon, and talk about Twilight? Yea, well we were beginning to think it was all a crazy dream we had after eating some bad mushroom ravioli from the Olive Garden (Big Daddy’s birthday celebration!), kinda like when you had the dream about Bella and Edward in the meadow that spawned Twilight. Only as it turns out after opening our inbox and finding the following pictures it really DID happen after all!

Looking back at these pictures we can finally remembered what really happened…

Witness our last moment of dignity before I would tard/Brenden Fraser clap and UC would talk about her life being complete after a Wolfpack member mentioned “jorts” in an interview. Because, well our life would be complete if that happened. Oh and eating at the Olive Garden with Big Daddy. This isn’t too much to ask, is it?

Series Theories: Letters to what? Who let those girls in?
Twifans: We should definitely call security…

What Jodie, you’re a closet Gil Birmingham fan too? You’re SO right, Gil circa the Diana Ross video could definitely give Taylor Lautner a run for his money!

Lipgloss check… yup, still on.

UC: What do you think she’s thinking here?
Moon: She’s totes thinking if she cuts this interview 15 minutes early she still has time to run to the Water for Elephants set and beat traffic, dontcha think?
UC: Wait, I think she heard us…
Moon: but can we talk about how much the waiter looks like Mr. Molina? I bet the omlette bar has “the golden onion” as an ingredient!
UC: No, seriously she heard us. She just kicked me under the table with her cowboy boot.
Moon: that’s one long leg…

Caught in the act! Too busy breaking the Stephenie Meyer interview down Vanity Fair style WHILE in the interview to listen to whatever mind blowing Twilosophical thing you’re explaining about Edward at this exact moment.

Follow the cut to see the most epicness of all time. Trust me.

96 Commented

One Year. It's been a long time coming! Celebrate our year in the Twilight fandom!

Oh hello outtake of Moon & UC in a disney forest!

Dear UnintendedChoice (I used your full fake name cause I’m serious. I’m also wearing a pair of Tweed jorts),

A year ago today (trust me, I counted) we started this “secret blog” which now a year later isn’t such a secret anymore, not to the thousands of visitors we get or the hundreds of commenters who comment on every post and not even to most people in my real life now. In fact more often than not I’m now introduced to people I don’t know with “Hi X, this is Moon* she runs a “famous” Twilight blog!” Uh, well, wham, bam, thank you ma’m. Not such a secret anymore I dare say!

Remember our very first layout EVER?!

People ask me why I don’t talk more about the blogs in my real life and it would be easy to say it’s embarrassing I write a blog every day about Twilight and Rob but truthfully I can’t be embarrassed anymore about a blog that’s become part of the fandom in a real and lasting way. I can’t be embarrassed that people have met their soul mates and friends and long lost bff’s because we write about Twilight. I can’t be embarrassed that things we’ve created: words, phrases, characters, fake names have become part of the lexicon of the Twilight/Rob fandom.  And I definitely can’t be embarrassed that because I write this blog I have found a new lease on life and created a deep and lasting friendship with one of the most wonderful people God ever created. You are a God send UC. Baby Jesus and Rob himself created you just for me in their plaid heaven in the sky.

May the source be with you!

Some people know a little bit of my back story that led up to creating this with you but for those who don’t I worked for an entertainment company for multiple years and worked my way up through the ranks to a position that had all the responsibility of a middle woman and none of the perks of an upper level executive. I regularly contemplated crashing my german made car into the free way underpass on the way to work every morning. Every Sunday night (or really just any day ending in Y) I would wake up with panic attacks that would leave me paralyzed in my bed. I would come home from work and go straight to bed at 7Pm until I had to get up and do it all again the next day. To say all of these things were unhealthy would be an understatement.

And then I found Twilight (cue choir of Angels) or rather it found me.

Follow the cut to read the rest and to see some special shout outs, music, and hear the story of our first post!

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New Moon Premiere – UC and Moon see cast, crew and Dick!

Dear New Moon,

We came (ahem), we sorta saw, we maybe conquered!

Since we didn’t camp out like the faithful Twihard fans we knew it would be a crap shoot showing up to the premiere in Westwood with a gaggle of girls, but UC needed to at least get a glimpse of Rob to make sure this last year wasn’t just a crazy psycho dream and these people that we talk about every day actually existed and since this we be my um.. forth time seeing Rob I was more than happe to give it a go! So we hauled booty over to where the entire fandom seemed to be converging. On our way we heard both KOL’s Sex on Fire and Miley Cyrus’ Party In the USA and knew it was an omen for good things ahead. Once we parked and headed towards the madness we saw Mr. Kaleb Nation aka The Twilight Guy headed in search of more glitter paint or maybe it was a restroom but we flagged him down and finally met someone we had been Twitter stalking for the last month. Another omen.

After that we pushed our way up to the barricade and ended up right across the street from the theater and the end of platform where the radio DJ guy was interviewing everyone as they showed up. We were also conveniently located next to at least two sets of crazy protesters. Why they thought the NM premiere was the optimal place for their protest posters and high pitched screaming, I’ll never know.

So here’s pretty much what happened…

We showed up to the premiere…

Look who was happy to see us!

Ok… ok… just kidding! I mean they were happy to see us they just didn’t know it.

Some lovely gal took our picture… right as a news van drove by and cut out the theater in the back ground! Thanks.

We were surrounded by crazy, loud, cool, and some totally awful fans…

obviously Rosalie Cullen got lost and ended up near the theater with her red wig

Robsten lives… in this 12yr olds heart

Follow the cut for a TON of pictures and video and crazy protesters and hot Rob and us!

347 Commented

For Kristen Stewart, a guide to keeping men happy

Dear Kristen,

On the day we finally declare peace in the Rob fandom by linking arms and uniting in one voice to declare “We are the Rob, We are the Fandom,” you go and stir the shit. Of course you would. Kinda makes me like you a bit too- ain’t nothing like rattling a hornets nest with the news that Micheal Arangano aka Oregano might actually be in Vancouver. Yup, the same Vancouver that you and the rest of the Eclipse cast is in (oh and that dude you’ve been seen with- Rob Whateverson- happens to be there too.) I kind of really want you to be seen one day with Oregano doing that lovely-dovey shiz like you all did in April and then the next day been seen all double O style with Rob because then you would be a Lady Pimp, Man Killer, and I would be forced into maybe, quite possibly, LOVING YOUR FACE. If you were stringing both of these boys along, making them fly to other countries, hide under hoods, buy you dinner, comb out your mullet and then get the H out of bed once you were finished with them, I would give you the biggest high five ever. EVER. Just the thought of it makes me smile and want to yell “Girl Power!” (Spice up your life!).

So since we have no real confirmation as to validity of this other than the ALWAYS valid Splash News *ahem* I’m going to speculate that it’s totally true and Oregano really is up there in Vancouver and the reason you didn’t go to the cast dinner last weekend was because it was Oregano’s day and not Rob’s, so like any good Lady Pimp you sent Rob along to the dinner to be watched over by your frenemie Nikki Reed while you, or should I say while Oregano, attended to your “needs.” I’m so kinda proud! Since you are 19, however, I have a feeling you’ve just recently tapped into your Lady Pimp Man Killer essence so you’re new at this and might be in need of a few tips from some seasoned sluts professionals. So out of the goodness of my heart, and as a sign of goodwill and Rob-peace, I’ve put together a little guide for you with the help of some pals:

Follow the cut to see the rules!

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