Questions for Stephenie – Vampire Sex

I'm sure glad we soundproofed this place... didn't we?

Dear Stephenie,

So last week when we broke down the new stills from Breaking Dawn Pt 1 (yea, that’s a really long name) we got to thinking seriously about some stuff and really there’s no one else who can answer this better than you can… So to refresh your memory here is the extended conversation that led to our questions…

Moon: DUDE can you imagine living in that house??? this brings up a LOT of questions!!
UC: NO… SO many questions
is it time for another round of “Dear Stephenie: we have a couple questions”
Moon: i mean they have vampiric hearing… so did they soundproof each room? or are they that old they just don’t care. like when your grandpa farts and could care less cause he’s 90

Sure, call us prudes, but do you really want your FAMILY hearing every little noise you make in the throes of passion? Or even working out? “What’s that I hear Jasper?” “Oh, it’s just Rosalie on the treadmill…” or IS IT? So did they soundproof the rooms, are they are on opposite sides of the house? Why don’t they all have their own little cottages like Edward and Bella get?

Shhh, no one will ever hear this

Can you imagine the real estate listing if they ever decided to sell that place? “This beautiful 5 bedroom 4 bath comes complete with it’s own cottage on the acreage, modern architecture, brand new gourmet kitchen (perfect for cooking Italiano), 10 car garage and oddly enough each room is completely soundproofed! It’s the darndest thing!”

This also begs the question WHY in the world did Bella want to be human for this? I mean besides the obvious “being human” and whatever wouldn’t she be HELLA scared of what he could do? And then if that’s the case she should definitely want to be a vampire for that… cause um ya know!

Kinda makes me want to be a vampire… so tell us, in your mind did you even go here Stephenie, or are we just the creeps with too much time on our hands?

We want to know!

PS bed-breaking sex her first time… is that really safe? For her… ya know.

So tell us, what do YOU guys think? Would you be embarrassed or who cares? What burning questions do you have for SMeyer?

Images from, TwilightPoison

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Speculation Thursday – Moon makes the case for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: NOT together!

We're actors

We’re actors

Dear Kristen and Rob-

Last week my pal UC put on a brave face, sucked up her pride and posted the Speculation Thursday (though it was on Wednesday) post that she thought you may be together. As much as it pained both of us to see that in writing, we had to present the Pro Robsten side of the argument. But never fear, I am here with this week’s Speculation Thursday (on Thursday!) where I’m going to present the Non Robsten side! Cause I look at you two and I’m like, they CANNOT be together, the stoner and the nerd? No way.

If you’ll indulge me I’d like to treat this as a trial, and court is now in session*! The honorable Stephenie Meyer proceeding. Today we will be hearing the case of:

Robsten vs NonRobsten, in the court of public opinion

Opening statement:
Much has been said and speculated about you two over the last few weeks and now having some time to gather evidence and look at the facts I think we can be certain about a few things: Kristen and Oregano are not together and Kristen and Rob are in fact, NOT together. Snogged and hooked up? Sure! But together? No! I ask that the jury keep an open mind as we speculate our way through another Thursday.

Enter into the court room the Evidence…


01. The Charlie Hotel / The Morning After – UC cited this story and these pictures as her main turning point. But I have a different take on this much bally-hooed “secret goodbye photos” and “secret rendezvous hotel bungalows” nonsense… I did some research too on The Charlie and there are multiple bungalows in which bungalows also have multiple rooms! Amazing how this works, huh? It’s not uncommon for stars to get ready for awards shows in hotel rooms, Summit’s footing the bill, why not? And you’ve got the room paid for for the night, might as well come back and party after the show, right? I know where you’re going to go with this: “but Moon they were in the SAME bungalow! Ron, the underpaid dude at the front desk, told the shady paparazzo from X17 who palmed him a 50 it was true.” Riiiight. And, if I even believe that they were in the same bungalow, my research tells me that again, SURPRISE, there are bungalows with more than one room in them. I’ve stayed in rooms with guy friends, it’s totally possible. And who knows maybe she was wasted drunk from the dinner beforehand when they decided to go back and party? Maybe they smoked a bol and she passed out on that cute striped chair from the pictures of The Charlie. And then the next day her Mom came to pick up her hung over self and hug Rob for being such a good guy and looking out for poor little Kristen. And no kiss was ever photographed.

Follow the cut to hear the rest of the case!!! (Seriously do it!)

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Okay.. we gotta discuss it.. it's time

Meet me in room 618 at 11:43pm. Bring the cheap wine

Meet me in room 618 at 11:43pm. Bring the cheap wine

Dear those in denial,

I’m 99.7% certain that Rob and Kristen hooked up while filming, despite the whole Michael Oregano situation.

I recently informed a dear friend of my opinion on the matter and she responded:

“Yes. Dude…I said it all along…from that very first Larry Carroll vid… “there were TWO nights that were…productive…” He probably had wine in his room…and offered her 17 year old ass some…which she took, of course. And smoked the night away. (Figuratively and literally.)”
This topic is of so much utter importance that I decided to bring in my reinforcements and “break it down vanity-fair style” (see this post if you don’t know what the H I’m talking about). I know many of you don’t want to believe me. You want to continue thinking Rob & Kristen were nothing more than close friends and that Kristen stayed true to Michael. If you are one of those in denial, you will hate the following conversation because we are going to PROVE it to you. Feel free to offer your rebuttle in the comments, but just so you know, you’re wrong. XOXO UnintendedChoice

Last Tango in Paris

UC: can we talk about the PROOF that we know that rob & kristen hooked up? They watched that MOVIE….
Moon: I’m gonna play devils advocate and say NO. she seems like a total prude who’s WAY too into NReed and her BF
Friend #1: wrong- they’ve done it.
UC: how do you watch (what’s the movie again?) and not have sex after it and JOKE about mirroring your characters after it
Friend #1: LAST TANGO IN PARIS. No-strings attached sex…. they watched that shizzzzz…. and she was 17…. and he hit it. but then they will deny it ’til the death, ’cause she was underage.
UC: and i’m confident Michael knows. she told him. she was so upset at herself. and he forgave her. they worked through it
Moon: they watched last tango in paris?
UC: YES. Omg, Friend #1, she hasn’t seen the interview
Moon: god how old are they?
Friend #1: of course. ’cause he got a freebie out of it, too. GIRL…. ok, you have to watch THE interview that first came out last year….
UC: THAT’s the interview that makes us KNOW they did it
Friend #1: april of last year. it’s the PROOF!
UC: it’s SOOO obvious. MTV. They’re SO flirty
Moon: link please
(literally 3 seconds later b/c Friend #1 is awesome like that)

UC: there it is proof
Friend #2: OK, I missed a lot because of the phone call. BUT, I must say… Rob and Kris most DEF hooked up. I am positive of it
Friend #1: yay Friend #2! she agrees! she has seen the interview, clearly.
Moon: dude is this the one where she scrapes that crap out of his mouth?! sick
Friend #1: yes.
Moon: hey im just being devils advocate
Friend #1: “bonding.” is when they talk about it.
Moon: THATS it?! That’s what you base this off???
Friend #1: have you SEEN last tango in paris, moon? there is no reason those 2 would’ve been watching that if they didn’t have ulterior motives.

Be further convinced after the jump


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