The Twilight Games

Two Bad Ass Bitches of Fiction. Well, sorta

Dear Twilight,

This past weekend I read an article in the Sunday paper about the chick who plays Katniss and the guy who plays Peeta in The Hunger Games (yes, yes, they have real, actual names, I know, Jennifer something and um, someone… sorry, I’m writing this over lunch because I have ZERO time so I’m not going to look it up) as they were here at the Mall of America causing a hullabaloo with the masses. In the article, there was this emphasis on how huge, no, HUGE The Hunger Games was and the movie already is, especially since it hasn’t even hit theaters yet.

It got me thinking… Shouldn’t Stephenie Meyers, at the very least, get some sort of credit / recognition/ nod for jump starting this series into success? I honestly don’t think that The Hunger Games would be quite the ginormous thing it is without her recommendation of the books starting right when The Hunger Games first came out.

I hear your gasps. Your “boos” your “hisses” and your “nays” (yep, we have those who go old school and still prefer to show their disagreement with nay saying).

But think about it; how did you find out about The Hunger Games? I’m guessing that the large majority of you found out about and/or read The Hunger Games because of Twilight in some way, shape or form. Right?

Katniss. Shooting Beller & Edward

Personally, I asked for The Hunger Games as a gift with the blind recommendation from Stephenie on her site (then thought I was crazy to own a book by blind recommendation after I read the coverlet… and again when I read the first few pages). Of course I did pick the book back up months later, forcing myself to give it “the old college try” (since I did already own it and all) and found, not much further into it, I was hooked. But there was probably no way, without SM’s glowing, “I couldn’t put this book down, I even brought it with me out to eat so I could keep reading”* recommendation, that I would have been sitting here, stoked about the movie (finally) coming out since I read the first book shortly after it first came out.

I am by no means saying that The Hunger Games wouldn’t have been popular. It probably would have ended up pretty big anyway. But this epic cultural phenomenon that it is before the first movie is even out? I really don’t think so. At least not yet. Without Stephenie, I think the books/movies probably would have grown like Twilight did after its first movie came about… organically.

I mean, I personally am responsible for about 20 people first hearing about The Hunger Games from me and either borrowing the book(s) from me or buying them themselves and/or for their kids. And I know that many of them have recommended them to others. All because Stephenie said she couldn’t put the book down.

So, if no one else has given Stephenie a nod for this, I will; look what you helped spawn Stephenie!

What do you think? Do you agree? Is Twilight/Stephenie responsible for you getting hooked on The Hunger Games? How about other things? Percy Jackson? Volvos? Little bottles? Jorts? Purple bedding?

TeamJacobEdward

*This is a paraphrase from memory and not a direct quote from Stephenie Meyer

I loved this letter. And thought it was QUITE TIMELY as The Hunger Games is now OUT World-wide (right? Y’all have it over across the big pond?) I didn’t read HG after reading about it on Stephenie’s website (but I remember seeing it) but it WAS through a recommendation from a friend I met right here on LTT. So Thank you, Stephenie! You owe me $11.50 if the movie sucks tonight.

After the jump, another quick Twilight-Hunger Games thought! Continue…

67 Commented


Twilosophy – Emmett & Rosalie – just the muscle of the Cullen Family or so much more?

Dear Twilight,

I’ve been thinking… on the heels of the whole cell phone post I’ve been going back to the basics of Twilight… some Twilight origins posts if you will. So today we pose the question: do Emmett and Rosalie feel worthless since they have no special powers like the others? Edward can read minds, Alice can see the future, Jasper can change and effect moods, Bella has the crazy mind shield thing, Carlisle has a super vampire resistance to blood and well Esme… she’s married to him so she’s ok.

Hey guys, does anyone need their car fixed? Or maybe a log moved?

But what about poor Rosalie and Emmett… are they just the muscle of the Cullen family? Hauling logs before the wedding. Chasing after James. Keeping the cars maintained and installing stereos. Basically Emmett and Rosalie are the ex Best Buy employees the Cullens agreed to let live with them just because they’re handy around the house. Maybe this is why Rosalie is really so sully… after all these years she’s tired of the rest of the Cullens reading her mind or predicting her future or just plain out doing her. It really has nothing to do with the fact that Carlisle made her into a vampire when she was dying… and really talk about ungrateful.

Imagine if Em and Rose ever showed up in Voltera… Aro would be like “wait, who are you guys? Oh the Cullen’s hired help…. Yea well good luck with whatever… we don’t have any openings right now but we’ll keep you in mind.” Ya know the old don’t call us we’ll call you routine.

Let me get my wig on straight first THEN I'll tell you what I think

I posed the question to a few friends as we sat around talking with New Moon playing in the background… cause that’s something we do on a Sunday afternoon in LA. Right. One friend said isn’t Rosalie’s power being really beautiful? Um, while I’m sure that statement is more loaded and requires a totally different post that I can tackle today, I’m going to go with a NO. Her beauty has never gotten them out of a jam (or into one) the way say Alice’s power to see the future has. But maybe it’s her ability to be both lioness/mama bear while being vulnerable and able to tell the truth? If anyone’s the first to speak the truth, it’s Rosalie Hale. You wanna know if Rosalie thinks this whole Bella as Edward’s girlfriend is a good idea? Rosalie’s gonna tell you. You pondering major life decisions like whether to become a vampire or stay a fragile, killable human? Rosalie’s gonna tell you. You wanna know why your boyfriend’s “sister” resents your presence in her family? Rosalie’s gonna tell you.

Don't worry Edward, Emmett got this!

Then we talked about how Emmett was super strong but that’s not really a super power because they’re vampires, they’re all really strong. One friend also pointed out that Emmett is such a dope he probably doesn’t even know he’s not super special like Edward or Alice. But what about his courage? Is Emmett the reverse cowardly lion of the Cullen’s? It seems like anytime the shit goes down, Emmett is the first to jump in the mix and really that’s pretty invaluable in the grand scheme of life. Tracker going after Bella? Emmett’s got this. Werewolves out to attack the Cullen’s? Emmett’s got this. Carlisle needs to go feed before Bella gives birth and the Werewvoles need distracting? Emmett’s got this. Victoria on the lose and needs hunting down? Emmett’s got this. Bella needs to test her newborn vampy strengths? Emmett’s got this.

So really, I guess those ARE their super powers… they may not be as obvious as the rest of the Cullen’s but when a situation is gettin’ REAL real I want Emmett and Rosalie there… who else could reluctantly rub up on a tree in your jacket and make it look sexy?

We got this!
Themoonisdown

Have you ever thought about that? Did SMeyer just run out of ideas for Emmett and Rosalie or was it all part of the plan?

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Friday Funnies

Oh hey! A friendly reminder. Hate auto-playing ads? Hit the “volume” button to mute them once & for all! You’re welcome xx

Dear Twilight,

I was doing a little new years cleaning in our email inbox, hoping there was something interesting to share and, well, there was! In fact a few things. I never know how to categorize the random things that we receive that deserve to be shared but aren’t really “enough” to demand an entire blog post. But today it came to me: Friday Funnies. Yep, it’s JUST like Monday Fridays, except on Friday. Brilliant, right?

First up, a note (one of many we received this holiday season!) for Stephenie Meyer. Important to note, it’s from a girl:

Its the most buitful time of the year

Lights fill the streets spreading so much cheer

I should be playing in the winter snow

But I’mma be under the mistletoe

-Justin Bieber

Someone wants to be a fake lesbian with Stephenie (someone ELSE, I mean)

Sister Penguin shared this hilarious Facebook mocking with us:

Twi-mocking on Facebook

Remember when THIS was a thing:

Dear Stephenie,
I’ve totally forgotten about Midnight Sun. You could release it today and I wouldn’t care. Probably wouldn’t read it anyway. So over it. I never google it anymore to see if it’s been released and somehow I missed it. I’ve given up. My google finally broke anyway. So now would be the perfect time for it not to be written.

Sincerely,
Not going to read it so please don’t bother

P.S. Please don’t be offended. It just wasn’t meant to be.

“Twilight Artist” painted the stuff in the Cullen House

twilight-artist-gregory-kingAnd sadly (for us. happy for him) it’s not 2nd-hand embarrassing. My real life artist friend sent me something that the “Twilight” artist, Gregory King, emailed:

I have had an unusual thing come my way recently that I’m excited to share with you. Many of you may know already, but several paintings of mine were recently rented by the company behind “Twilight”, the crazy worldwide hit film saga, to be used as set decoration in their “Cullen House” location (where the vampire family lives). Yep, pretty wild. Set decorator David Schlesinger contacted me in late 2010 about it, and I worked with him to select nine pieces in total, which were hung throughout the house.
Now that’s pretty cool- and major exposure for the artists, but does that SURPRISE YOU? Set directors get NEW art for the walls in their movies? I mean.. I just assumed they went to Home Goods or something & picked out something cheap for the walls! All this time I could’ve been perfecting my artist skills & hung my masterpieces next to ROB.

And lastly, because my Christmas Tree is still up (looking sad & dry) and I just can’t say good-bye to the Holidays yet, Reasons Edward Cullen is like Santa

edward-claus-the-movie2

This is an OLDIE (From 2009) but goodie that was sent to us this Holiday season by LTT friend Bethany. Don’t miss the entire thing, but here are my favorite reasons why Edward Cullen is like Santa Claus:

4.) They both like deer.

11.) Or any one of the eleventy thousand Twilight Moms in North America, any number of whom, you just know, have Edward stockings hung by the chimney with care, right next to the cookies for Santa, who, did I mention? Sneaks into houses at night.

And I know I KNOW! There’s going to be a Twilight  MUSICAL.  Do you know how badly I wish I wasn’t going to be in Orlando (I could stop right there..) and missing the showing? We are still working on the perfect way to share our feelings about this new musical

Happy Funny Friday!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What are you doing New Years Eve this weekend? (Speaking of NYE- are you ‘shipping Zooey & “Joe” as much as I am?)

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114 Commented


Hey guys: GET OVER IT!

Yay let's talk about Twilight

Dear George Takei and everyone else who likes to hate on Twilight,

CC: Person who runs Reasoning with Vampires
Every late night chat show joke writer
“TRUE” Sci Fi fans
Half of Comic Con’s attendees
Disgruntled boyfriends and husbands
Friends who don’t “get it”
.

GET OVER IT.

First, I know this is for fun and jokes and I’m sure you, George probably didn’t write this and you’re just reading lines that someone who’s never read Twilight and has probably never seen it either wrote but has an axe to grind because they’re writing lines for a “George Takei brokering star peace” video and not sitting back counting money from their best selling novels and films. It’s not this video that bugs me, this is just essentially the straw that broke the camel’s back because you perpetuate all the things misinformed people say about Twilight. Be it angry nerds at Comic Con, joke writers on shows, dumb friends I have, whatever. Cause here’s the thing… IT DOESN’T MATTER! No one in the Twilight fandom is trying to shift the axis of the Sci Fi/Fantasy/Nerd world you all hold so dear. No one is trying to say Twilight is Shakespeare for a new generation. No one is trying to say every little nuance or idiosyncrasy in Twilight makes sense and fits within the cannon and lexicon of the genre. Cause ya know what? It doesn’t matter because why? Because it is fantasy it’s all a story someone made up!

Fantasy is a genre of fiction that commonly uses magic and other supernatural phenomena as a primary element of plottheme, or setting. Many works within the genre take place in imaginary worlds where magic is common. (via Wikipedia)

By definition this shit doesn’t have to conform to your preconceived notion of what fantasy or SciFi is and isn’t because, guess what – IT ISN’T REAL!!!

We all have our things that are weird, it doesn’t have to make sense but we like it and it’s ours. Surely you George like some weird shit, you were on STAR TREK for goodness sake. There was an episode with Tribbles and your uniforms had RICK RACK on them. And person running the Reasoning with Vampires Tumblr where you mind numbingly point out the grammatical errors in Twilight, you need to find a new way to spend your time. And yea, I realize the absurdity of someone who writes a Twilight blog telling you that, but at least I acknowledge my absurdity and have fun with it. Instead of dissecting Twilight down to it’s dangling participles and adverb misusage you should go out and write your own best selling book series, sell the film rights and then we can talk ad nauseum about the usage of “irrevocably.” Also, please dissect my awful usage of grammar, spelling and punctuation while you read this, that will make all my AP English teachers, the 32 I got on the ACT, and all the college lit and english classes I tested out of VERY happy.

Jokes!

To all chat show joke writers, bloggers and any “real” critic who’s written a review about Twilight or friends who post on Facebook. Your jokes are OLD. At this point they aren’t in High School anymore, Edward is not her BOYFRIEND, no one has FANGS. CATCH UP! Sure there’s some “moping” but what good story didn’t ever have moments of introspection, self doubt or flat out angst? Besides all the good jokes are about their vampire baby and her future boyfriend now, duh. And yes, we know they sparkle in sunlight. It’s a thing, we KNOW. If you’re gonna make fun of Twilight at least try actually reading the books or watching the movies to get some new material instead of recycling someone else’s bits from 2008.

Seriously, I don't care

Comic Con attendees – We’re all there waiting around to listen to panels about nerdy shit, no one is more cool or less cool than anyone at Comic Con, that’s the great thing about it! I don’t give you shit for waiting in line to talk to the guy who inked an issue of the Superman comic 50 years ago or the fact you’re wearing a realistic Centaur costume that has movable parts in public, so don’t give me shit for hitting up the Twilight panel before I go watch the upcoming footage from Spiderman. Oh and guess what, I like Twilight. I also like Star Wars, Comic Books that have been turned into films (and you’ve had a LOT of bad ones), costumes, Lord of the Rings, Walking Dead, Dexter, True Blood, Star Trek (the original version with YOU, George Takei), Harry Potter and graphic novels. Yes, us Twilight fans (and the human race) can like multiple things at once, THAT YOU LIKE TOO. SHOCKING.

I choose both

Back to you George and this “…there are no great stories, characters or profound life lessons to be had in Twilight…” Ok, I’m down for some jokes, poking fun, and having a good time but when you come at it like that? I don’t think so. Clearly, you haven’t read the books so you just don’t know. But because you don’t know doesn’t mean you can flat out say there are no profound life lessons, characters or stories. Just by the fact we’re talking about this, this blog exists and you made that video, means it’s a great story. It’s captured the imaginations and lives of millions of people who have bought the books and lined up for the movies. We get emails daily about how lives have been changed because of Twilight. We’re two examples right here along with countless others who have shared their stories. As for great characters you’ve obviously never met the flawed Edward Cullen or the selfless Jacob Black or the tragic Leah Clearwater and for that I just feel sad for you. That leaves us with profound truths. If loyalty to family and friends, courage to go against something you don’t believe in and love above all else aren’t profound truths then I don’t know what they taught you in literature and philosophy class.

Statler & Waldorf

Going back, I get that this video is a joke and you and everyone else are just saying this stuff for a little air time in the hopes of remaining culturally relevant. I get that. My issue is that you perpetuate the dumb jokes, misinformed opinions and the stereotype that Twilight fans are dumb and this story has no merit. Sure, I poke fun at Twilight all the time but at the heart of it I am a fan and I know that under the funny stuff ARE great stories, characters and profound truths. I do want the best for the series, I also want some of the weird stuff to be changed on screen to make it “work” better, but do I hang my life, hobbies and sanity on it? NO! The little things are what make this FUN! And THAT’S what I think some of you are missing from your lives, a little fun. Shit is NOT THAT SERIOUS. We all don’t have to like the same stuff, we all don’t get to “get it” but at least be interesting, do your research and get new material. Your jokes and critiques are TIRED. And plus… there’s always the reboot.

Live long and prosper,
Themoonisdown

PS to the Anne Rice’s and Stephen King’s of the world… we get it you are also best selling authors and have something to say… conveniently when a camera is on or when you’re writing a column but whatever. This applies to you too, go write some more amazing novels and stop worrying about what other people are doing or how they’re writing.

Are you as over IT as I am? I mean sure go ahead make jokes but at least come up with something we haven’t heard that is halfway true, am I right??

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196 Commented


Take out your party hats, it’s LTT’s 3rd Anniversary!

There are no videos in the post, so you can just mute your computer today! HOORAY!

Dear Unintendedchoice, Themoonisdown and LTTers,

Never trust a girl with crazy eyes, nor let her blog

I know what you must be thinking: who let Brookelockart get control of the blog? After deciding that I wanted to throw a surprise blog party, I spent the last two weeks cracking passwords (hint: has to do with Robsten, magicness and Bella’s birthday). So folks, spike your coffee and raise a glass to three fabulous years of laughter, tears and images that will never leave you (two words: Snail Penis).

As part of the anniversary surprise, I reached out to regulars and some old time friends who jumped at the chance to reminisce about our favorite LTT posts (I may have also promised some punch and pie.)

Please introduce yourselves and when did you start reading LTT/LTR?

Read_or_sleep: Summer 2009
Cazza: March 2009
PlaneFriend: Reading Since: About 5 seconds after this post. When I saw Stephenie was going to have fansites interview her, I decided to go looking at the fansites. All the others I just glanced at, read a page or two, and never went back to again. Within days, I was reading most of the LTT backlogs…realized I knew UC a few weeks later, started writing for y’all occasionally, and the rest in history.
Stacey: March 2010
LonestarKendall: March 2009
Rachel B, formerly GriffsSayWhat: Winter 2009
Alice_NaA  – Bella_NaA : A  long long time ago, when palatial pads and hot pocket fortresses where yet to be built, Summit was not to blame, TomStu still shaved, Bobbygee shared his wisdom, AmanDUH  was working her living room corners, the Pattinson pants were in style, and Oregano was not just an Italian herb.
superhumanmoron: January 2009
MrsKowski: I’ve been reading since March of 2009. The post that started it all for me was the “This is how you found us? Vol. 2”  it was linked on NewMoonMovie.org – my world has not been the same since I made the decision to click on that link.
Snowwhitedrifted: January 2010
Janetrigs: February 2009
Allryans: April 2009, actually since THIS post.
Operarose: August 2009
TeamSeth: September 16, 2009

Well, I guess this is what happens with an open ended question. For the record, I’ve been reading since March 2009.

We know that LTT gave laugh lines to Stephenie Meyer, what posts made you screen spray your drink while reading?

worse when it comes out your nose

PlaneFriend: I laughed so hard while reading this post that I flatout cried, no joke. I mean, Barbies in lingerie? Blacking out a Barbie’s girl parts? Flipping hilarious.
Stacey: This is an old one, but one of the first that I read that made me laugh so hard that it woke up the baby I was nursing at 2 A.M and made him start crying. So while that won’t help me win mother of the year, that post did bring some fun at actually being awake at 2 A.M.
Rachel B: I really loved seeing all the funny stuff people thought up for this contest, even though I was not creative enough to think of anything!  And, at the time the “imma let you finish” was ALL the rage!!
Bella_NaA: Oooh, the Imma-contest. Endless fun we had with that one. There were some really, REALLY good entries, including the one that Gil Birmingham ended up tweeting about!
Mrskowski: I think a memorable screen spray post was the “Ok …we gotta discuss it …it’s time” post – can you believe I’d never seen Last Tango in Paris before this post? …I could have probably answered this same question with any LTT Mailbag post or any My Twilight Confessions post as well – I die at all of them.
SWD: Breaking dawn Barbies
Janetrigs: The epic Calliope (@CalliopeBlabs) , UC and Moon Break Down of the New Moon trailer and we learned that Tweed is indeed Serious.
Operarose: Any of the posts with responses to letters LTT received from Twi fans who thought to the cast or Stephenie. I love the equal parts biting sarcasm, snark and sometimes sweetness involved in UC & Moon’s responses to the rather confused fans. Example

Cry Baby

Those certainly bring back lots of memories, also some inappropriate laughing at work. On the flip side, which post made you cry more than Eric Yorkie in New Moon?

Read_or_sleep: I have nothing coming up from memory.  Obviously I am a cruel, heartless person.
PlaneFriend: This post because I want to read a Leah sequel THAT badly. Truly, I have a ridiculous affinity for Leah. I want to get inside her head. I want to see her puke over the pedophile Jake-Nessie imprinting. I want her to fall for someone other than Sam!
Lonestarkendall: Just another example of how Twi brought us LTT/LTRs together across the country, supporting one another and making us laugh.
Alice_NaA: Don’t remember the exact post, but at the time of our twidiction high, every post reminding us that the twilight-period will come to an end, made us sad.
Bella_NaA: And now, every post that reminds us how LTT has become so much more than a funny blog about Twilight but also a place where we have made new friends!
SHM: I can’t think of one in particular.  Usually the ones that talk about all the friendships made through LTT.  And we all sing “Friends are Friends Forever”.
MrsKowski: it’s a toss up between “Twilight Moments that have shaped us” and about Leghitch2010
SWD: Well, this one was emotional for me, because I did the shirts. It’s AWESOME to see them on you all!!
Janetrigs: Freya describes how we all feel, in that LTR/LTT has brought us all together as friends.
Operarose: MidnightCyn’s story. Probably one of the most unforgettable stories I’ve ever read, anywhere, period. I was so inspired that Twilight helped distract her from a difficult time in her life.
TeamSeth: Same post as above.  This is one of the first posts I read, and I thought every Thursday was a tear jerker (due to post title). Luckily that wasn’t the case, but this will always be the most teardrops are fallin’ down my cheek post and same goes for its comments. But what makes it even more tear-jerker to look back on is that Cyndi DID go see New Moon, even though she didn’t think it was a possibility.

Continue…

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