Twilosophy: Charlie & Renee – a parenting cop out?

Dear Twilosophy Majors,

My good pal nopaperkg has just recently begun reading Breaking Dawn and on our road trip back from the holiday break she turned on her copy of the Breaking Dawn audiobook. While the audiobook version is a whole ‘nother post for a different day suffice it to say it got me thinking again about the saga through new eyes. Something about hearing a woman imitating a man’s voice or maybe hearing the only book in the saga I’ve read once being dramatically read to me gave it new life. And it brought up some of my old questions I had that started back in the Twilight book. We listened to the chapter of Breaking Dawn where Charlie sees Bella for the first time since she’s been changed into a Vampire. He tells Bella that the less he knows the better. And so that got me to thinking…

Is Charlie’s (and for that matter Renee’s) parenting style a cop out? Now obviously, I’m not a parent, and who knows if I ever will be one, but I know from having a couple of really good parents of my own that none of this shiz Bella tries to pull would NEVER have flown. The “less I know, the better” would NOT have happened in my house. Especially if I supposedly came down with some tropical disease on my honeymoon that required me to go to the center of disease control. RIGHT. My mom would have beat me to the center before I ever got there. And the whole Renesmee is our maybe daughter/maybe niece who grows at an unnatural rate and has a betrothed that is a werewolf on the side. Nope, don’t want to know anything about it, TMI! YEA RIGHT.

Hey baby, I'll maybe see you in 2 years when you graduate. Oh wait, I won't.

Let’s take it back to New Moon. Had my boyfriend dumped me and left me in the woods which would lead me into a downward depression spiral my mom would have been on the first plane out. Especially if months went by where I became a zombie with night terrors and a penchant for dangerous after school activities. Is Charlie not sharing the whole truth with Renee? Is she too busy in Jacksonville with Phil the minor league baseball player to care about her child who is hurting?

Read more Twilosophy after the jump

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Holy jacked up New Moon poster, Batman

Dear New Moon movie poster designer,

I just saw the Edward/Bella version of the New Moon poster and I gotta say it’s kinda janky. So I gotta ask, was this a rush job? Gotta get something to print so Hot Topic and Walmart have shiz to sell to the tweens? That can really only be the answer because as you’ll see below I’ve broken down the poster from a designers perspective since I used to be one myself. Seriously, what’s with the size of Edward’s head, it’s like twice the size of Bella’s. I mean sure actors have big noggins but this looks either blown up way out of proportion to his body or you jacked this head from another picture and inserted it into this one because it worked better. Which is all fine and dandy but use the transform command a little more wisely next time and the rulers. You didn’t need to use a movie poster as your way of saying Rob/Edward has a huge ego! You could have left his fly down or something. Duh.


So since you may have copy and pasted a different head onto this body, why didn’t you just do the same with his hand? Cause as it stands he looks like he’s got “The Claw” happening, like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar. That was a comedy, this is not. Well at least I hope I’m not laughing for all the wrong reasons on November 20th.

And then lastly can we talk about doing a little research? Cause by definition “New Moon” is actually the absence of a moon or rather the inability to see one and yet there it is. In the background like some cheesy clip art you pulled from Microsoft Publisher 1995 and threw a drop shadow on.

Wasn’t Taylor lockjaw and Bella’s slutty shirt and Eddie’s van enough the first time around? I’m looking forward to what you have up your sleeve for Eclipse. Maybe a 10 foot Werewolf dismembering a newborn?

Ok so did I nerd out enough on this one? Did I lose you with all the design nerdery and most importantly am I the only one who noticed that?

Happy Sunday!

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Twilight video time with Jena – Edwards Lullaby

*Hey LTT-ers, This Saturday’s video’s will be hosted by none other than Jena our very own video mod from the forum! She finds, creates and posts all the best so we’ve asked her to bring some of that goodness over here for you! Enjoy! Moon&UC*

Dear Twilighters,
Weekends are about relaxing, spending quality time with those you love, doing something fun, or curling up and watching your favorite
movie.  Which is why I bring you the latest in Twilight Theater.
I’m about to provide you, FINALLY, with the true lyrics to Edward’s lullaby to Bella. Get verklempt ya’ll!

But seriously, what would Edward’s famous Bella’s Lullaby lyrics really be?
We’d love to your compositions and read your lyrical inspiration.
A proud commentator in MST3K,
Thanks to JodieO and her facebook page for the vid*** alert!
(***video is in representation to the MST3K days (Mystery Science Theater 3000)

Head over to LTR to see some smokin’ Rob vids!
Want more Jena? Go to the forum and make some new pals!

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