Letters to Twilight in 10 words or less

Dear LTT-ers,

Just the other day I was talking to UC about how I wished I could just post two word letters or even three (go for the gold Moon!) because sometimes less is more especially when you see shiz like this:

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Dear Rob and Kristen,

Be less predictable.

Love your pal,
moon

So I decided to summarize the following Twi-news, pictures and what have you in 10 words of less… can I do it and still be semi funny? Will you love me when I fail miserably?

Let’s see shall we?

Your faithful servant,
Moon

Take the cut to see if I can do it!
Continue…

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Shh, we've got a secret to share… and it might involve Jacob Black

Who are you people?

Who are you people?

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Team Edward members-

I’ve got a secret that I’ve been hiding for a while. It’s not something I tell other people I usually hide it away and tell people what they want to hear cause really who wants to hear this dirty tale? No it’s not an addiction to Rob Porn and no I’m not hitting the sauce or smokin’ the mary jane, and no I haven’t turned into a crazy Pattinson Pants wearing Twihard. Nope it’s an entirely different secret all together.

But I couldn’t handle the secret anymore… I just had to share with someone else and risk ostracizing myself because I couldn’t take it anymore! So I asked UC to sit down and brace herself cause what I was about to reveal was quite heavy. And what ensued reads like two addicts discussing their secret tendencies for the bad stuff…

Moon: i picked up NM again
Moon: bella said “holy crow” in the part i read last night
Moon: im having team jacob tendencies but i think its cause i havent read about edward in forever
UC: i’ll be honest… i’m loving him these days too
UC: i dunno why
Moon: seriously, I’m so glad you said that!! I felt like an outcast!
UC: i dunno why… but we are

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

OK OK OK!!! Yes, I’m secretly loving Jacob and I can’t stop. Don’t look at me that way, I can see your disappointed eyes through this letter! So why is that? Why do we feel like we’ve betrayed Edward? And why is Jacob looking like such a possibility these days? Do we have a classic case of the wandering eye? Have we gotten a little too comfortable in our love for Edward that seeing Jacob again shines a new light on the situation? I feel like initially you’re so blinded by how lovely, and beautiful, and hot, and perfect  Edward is that Jacob just comes off like my good buddy from gym class. But now that we’ve been going steady for a while, you start to look around a little and see Jacob again and notice that he’s not only your pal but actually that amazingly hot, nice guy who might be the quarterback of the football team that you overlooked in your initial Edward-lust.

Omg, is it November yet?

Omg, is it November yet?

And I’m sure seeing Taylor at Comic Con didn’t help, nor did those picture of him with Taylor Swift, or that official picture from the set of him and Kristen in the truck, or reading the part in New Moon where he jumps into her window to tell her he’s trying to “keep his promise” or the part where Bella chooses to let him drive away after she spots Alice. So what’s a girl to do when she’s questioning her team allegiance?

Well… how about question it some more, keeping reading New Moon, count down the days till New Moon is released and OD on some Taylor and wonder if Team Edward will ever forgive me…

We’re not cheating on you Edward, we just want you to know you have some serious competition!

XO
Themoonisdown

PS I just figured out I’m almost 10 years older than Taylor. That’s just wrong and also weird that I never realized that before.

Get over to Letters to Rob to read about what UC think’s Rob is doing right now
Switch to Team Jacob in the Forum and don’t feel bad about it!

Pics from someplace I can’t remember and Lion & Lamb Love

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Your laughs are directly proportional to your tears with these Monday Twilight Funnies

Dear LTT-ers,

Welcome back to hell after a nice long holiday weekend, at least for our fellow US friends, and for everyone else well, just welcome back. So are you like me and you have work piled up on your desk that you put off last week cause you were “busy with other projects?” When what really happened is you were in a Robert Pattinson fueled daze from OD-ing on all the pics and videos from the set of Remember Me and just couldn’t pull it together long enough to do that report or create that power point presentation for your super important meeting? Yea, me too. Well I’ve got the perfect compromise… need to look like you’re busy catching up, but really want to peruse the interwebs for what happened in the Rob/Twi world over the weekend? I present you with some Twilight themed graphs and diagrams courtesy of Graphjam.com. Keep these open in a separate tab while you check all the usual Twi site suspects this morning and when the boss walks by you can click back over here and he’ll think you’re hard at work with only the bottom line in mind when it’s really Rob’s bottom that’s on your mind (Hit it! remember that one?!).

people-hate-twilighgraph
Obviously this graph was made after they saw one of three things:
1. Attending (by mistake) a 100 Monkeys, Sam Bradley, or other random Twi-affiliated band’s concert (Canvas tote bags, Monkey hats, Goth Maria Von Trapp, anyone?!)
2. The Pattinson Pants lady in her natural habitat (a Twi-conference in line to meet Gil Birmingham)
3. Getting in the middle of a heated Team Edward vs Team Jacob debate after accidentally standing in the New Moon midnight showing line

cultfollowinggraph
I think some of us (especially the OG fans pre 2008) can testify to this one. The more popular the saga gets because of the movie the less they want to be apart of the fandom. The crazy stalkers, the cheapening of the storyline, the lame merchandise, the pop cultural saturation. We just have to keep our eyes on the prize and remember the reason we love Twilight is because of the story. Stay strong yall! Don’t let the CAS get ya down!

bookswith
We’ve all been there, trying to explain to your skeptical friend why Edward and the other vampires SPARKLE in the sunlight. But they’re vampires, they’re not supposed to go in the sun anyway! Ok, ok it’s a FANTASY just go with it!

Oh crap here comes your boss! Minimize MINIMIZE!!

Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

See what UC’s up to over there with Rob
Commiserate with other folks in the daily chat thread over at the Forum!

43 Commented


A Halloween Surprise

Dear Edward,

When Halloween rolled around last October, my husband informed me he would be dressing up like you. At first I thought he was joking, but it turned out he was serious. It was something I secretly desired and being the great catch he is, he actually went through with it.

married-life-3671

I'm gonna guess that "Edward" got some lovin' that night!

I was afraid no one would recognize him, so I sported a “Team Edward” tee just in case.

We weren’t prepared for the reaction we would get while trick-or-treating with family.

We had moms whisper in coy voices, “I know who you are,” with an oh so subtle wink. Their husbands looked confused asking, “I don’t get it, who is he? He’s wearing normal clothes?”

aOne cougar almost pounced on him chanting, “Oh yeah, Oh yeah baby.” (She was like, 45)

edwardhalloween

Fangirls follow him wherever he goes

But the best reaction came from teenage girls. One group of girls SCREAMED, yes, SCREAMED when they saw my love dressed up like you (my other love, coincidentally)

It was as if he WAS you by their response. They followed him around, they giggled when he took pictures with them. Some were even dressed as Bella and Alice.

We got such a good response that he volunteered to dress up like you again for the premiere. {Okay, maybe I forced him too} He endured cat calls all night and photo sessions with numerous twi-hards. He kept saying he looked stupid, like he had an eye disease because who wears sunglasses at night? But he looked hott. Super hott. Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who thought this because the group of grown women sitting next to us kept hitting on him.

So thank you Edward (and of course to Rob for giving Edward his “look”), for being such an appropriate muse.

Love, Malia

maliahubby

Coming soon "LetterstoMaliashusband.com"

19 Commented


Move over Rob, I'll take Kellan

Robert Patti-who?

Robert Pattin-who?

Dear Kellan,

So, I’ve met you 3 times and I’ll stand in line for days to meet you 3 more times. I don’t get the whole hype on Rob. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the guy is amazingly gorgeous, but you are one of the sweetest people I have ever met. Is it totally crazy to think that someone’s kind personality can make them cuter than a so-called RPattz?

a

People out there need to realize that just because you don’t have greasy hair and a British accent doesn’t make you any less attractive. Oh, and I’m sorry, but I don’t think Rob’s body even compares to the one that you’ve got.

a

I’m all about Team Edward, but when it comes to the actors that play the characters in the book, it’s Team Kellan for me.

Someone needs to get that boy some oil blotting sheets pronto. He's start to grease up like Robbie

Someone needs to get this boy some oil blotting sheets pronto. He's starting to grease up like Robbie

Xoxo,
Joleena

a

*about TIME someone gave Kellan some love!

Interested in joining Kellan’s Bible study? Yeah, we are too

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