And the "Twi Dork of the Day" Award goes to…

Dear Twilight lovers,

I have to apologize. I really goofed up. I’m really nervous to admit this and I hope you forgive me.  Go easy on me okay? It’s been a long week and I accidentally clicked on the snail & dragon penis Moon posted Friday 3 times, so I’m a bit fragile. And plus with the news of Hughbert- Rob possibly being in love with a handsome Australian man- this is just the icing on the cake.  I was bound to mess up. You can’t be perfect for forever. And you have to admit I’ve been pretty damn near perfect since we met. Okay, I’m stalling…

I forgot about Bella & Edward’s anniversary. (cowering in fear) I KNOW- what kind of Twilight blogger am I? I should be ashamed of myself. I missed a perfectly good oportunity to give a “Twi Dork of the Day” award out to whoever remembered that fact.

Thanks to TwiCrack Addict for reminding me and being the winner of our VERY FIRST Twi-dork award! This means nothing except you have bragging rights. You can make people respect you more by saying “I was a Twi-Dork on Letters to Twilight- listen to me dammit!” (To be fair, Moon gets Twi-Dork of the day awards quite often from me when she pulls names like “Kiowa” (the wolf) outta thin air & the date when Rob signed on to Twilight)

Am I forgiven? Perhaps you’ll forgive me after I leave you with some anniversary images.  And my opinion on them, of course.

  • They are very well done
  • They are also very 2nd-hand embarrassing. Cuz it’s really Rob & Kristen. Not Bella & Edward. And they’re just kids, fooling around in a hotel room while Rob learns where the “little man in the boat” is.
  • But they should also hang on to the images. In case he learns where the little man is… and they one day tie the knot…

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anniversary

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There’s a debate going on about which anniversary this is. Is it 5 years? Just 1? Or 3? I’m really worked up about it. I really need to know. Just kidding. I don’t give a crap. Happy Anniversary Edward & Bella- I hope you feast on a big ass giraffe or elephant or something on an anniversary safari trip to Africa….I’m sorry I missed the actual day of your anniversary- I could’ve had Moon photoshop something brilliant in your honor- like you taking a elephant ride through Kenya and then after you’re done, chowing down on the very same elephant.

Forgive me friends…. I have… sinned,
UnintendedChoice

Celebrate on The Forum
Tell Rob Congrats on the wedding annivesary for the character he plays over on LTR

Annversary Banner by Everglow- who could technically get a Twi-Dork award of the day from Twicrack since they were the ones that reminded them of the anniversary! Pass on the Twi-Dork love!

3rd image: ivabella via FanPop

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A Twilight-themed Wedding

bella engagement ringDear UC & Moon,

I am writing to ask for your advice. I have recently gotten engaged & I was reading Eclipse & noticed Stephenie’s description of Bella’s Ring. My ring sounds almost identical! It was my fiancee’s grandmothers. I can’t believe the similarities between Bells & myself.  I met my fiancee when I was 17 and we fell in love very quickly.  Some would say we were a little obsessed with each other.  Well, after a few months, my now fiancee left me.  Yes- just like when Edward left Bella. It was basically a huge misunderstanding, but I was depressed for months. I lost 4 pounds and barely slept. After 2 months we got back together and have been together ever since! Isn’t that crazy?! Just like Bella & Edward! His name is Stu. I call him my Stuward. Anyway, when I realized the ring was just like Bella’s, it got me thinking- why don’t I have a Twilight-themed wedding!? Could you or your readers help me come up with ideas?

Love,
Twi-Bride to Be

Dear Twi-Bride to be,

YES! We love planning parties- planning a wedding can’t be that much different. And we LOVE Twilight, so combining a wedding with Twilight is a Win Win idea all around! This is so up our alley. We have 10 suggestions for you and some pictures that will hopefully provide inspiration!

  1. bella-s-wedding-twilight-series-6053356-500-343The Books: First of all, we definitely recommend bringing Eclipse & Breaking Dawn with you whenever you meet with vendors for your wedding- especially for those very important dress shopping trips. You should make sure to always be thinking with your “Cullen eyes”- think about everything the way that Alice, Bella or Edward would…. (probably focus on the Alice part- Bella Eyes might take you to David’s Bridal! Oh the horror!)
  2. Glitter: Don’t forget to adorn yourself in glitter. You need to be a sparkling beauty for all your guests. If The Stuward is a unique guy (and it sounds like he is) he might want to adorn himself in glitter as well.  For added effect, why don’t you have his chest exposed slightly- just have the buttons done half-way and have his jacket open.  If you have the extra money, dim the lights in the room & have a spotlight shine directly on his chest (that way the audience will really see him sparkle)
  3. Bridesmaid flowers: Instead of flowers, your bridesmaids should carry red, satin ribbons. If you’re at a loss for the perfect bridesmaid accessory, why don’t you fashion a mask out of the eclipse ribbon? The girls can hold it up to their eyes when they feel it’s appropriate
  4. Music: Walk down the aisle to something from the Twilight soundtrack.  It depends on what you’re like. If you want a party atmosphere, we suggest Perry Farrell’s “Go all the way.” If you’d like something more somber, maybe walk down to “Clair de Lune.” That’s probably a good choice as it’s pretty unique and probably hasnt’ been done in many weddings. If you want my honest opinion, I’d suggest walking down to “Never Think” by Robert Pattinson.  How beautiful would it be to walk toward your Stuward hearing the guy who played Edward sing a song? I have chills thinking of the moment…
  5. the-cullen-wedding-1368485a94The Vows: I know it’s trendy to write your own vows these days, but wouldn’t it be even trendier to have Edward & Bella write them for you? (Or… Stephenie Meyer?) Why don’t you try using only quotes from the 4 books (The Stuward could include some from Midnight Sun, if he wishes). Here is a quick example:To my darling Twi-Bride to be: Trust me. You look…sexy. Your number was up the first time I met you. I hope you enjoy dissapointment. It makes me…anxious… to be away from you. Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you? Look after my heart — I’ve left it with you. And the sound of your heart. It’s the most significant sound in my world. Tell me what you want, and you can have it. All of my best nights have happened since I met you. You love me more than I deserve.
  6. The Centerpieces: We think your centerpieces could incorporate a little bit of everything from the book series. Might we suggest bringing a little bit of Isle Esme to your reception hall? How about starting with a replica of a headboard (if you want to really get crazy- crack it!) glue on some feathers, add an apple or two, place a few chess pieces strategically in the center & top it off with some of the ribbons your bridesmaids will be carrying- you’ll represent the books but also have something sensual for you and your Stuward to enjoy.
  7. ruffledtulipsFlowers: The only flower you should use is the ruffled tulip- like the one on the front of New Moon. You could even give them out as your gifts- with a little card attached that says:”The lion fell in love with the lamb. But then he left the lamb for a little while, but then he came back and now the lion and lamb are married. Thank you for sharing in our joy”
  8. The garter: After The Stuward removes the garter from your leg, when he’s walking around, hands in the air doing a celebratory dance, he should yell “I AM Spider Monkey.” It can be your little secret sign to each other about the monkey-business that will happen later that evening.
  9. Blood: Obviously you can’t serve cups of blood at your reception (although that would be cool!) but you can pretend that you are! Dye everything red- use red wine, dye the water red, serve Bloody Marys & red jello shots. Spill red spots all over the white tableclothes – Ooh dip the edge of your dress in red dye!
  10. IsleEsme-1The Honeymoon: I assume you’re saving your virtue for your wedding night, as Bella & Edward did, so that’s taken care of. Have you been searching for french lingere? You know that’s the only kind Alice would approve of.  Just a few honeymoon tips from a gal who’s already experienced her Isle Esme: Use lines in the Twilight series’ as dirty talk.  We already mentioned “Spider Monkey” above, but that comes in handy quite often. You have no idea what it does to a guy when he hears “Spider Monkey” roll off your tounge. Another good one is “My Monkey Man.” (especially appropriate when he shows you his banana for the first time)  When you’re ready to see your Stuward in the buff, demand to see his “Buttcrack Santa.” He’ll get a laugh out of it and it will ease the tension.  You could even get him a little Santa hat and have him wear that (and only that) for your first time!
Please please PLEASE send us pictures so that we can see what it turned out like! (We’d especially like to see The Stuward in that Santa hat!) Good luck & Congratulations!
you are an idiot if you mirror yoru wedding after twilight
Love,
UC & Moon
don’t be an idiot
Don’t ever do this for your wedding. Don’t ever ever ever ever ever mirror your wedding after a book about vampires. Ever. If you do decide not to take our advice, use the following art board for inspiration:

and use this:
AND NOTHING ELSE: Do not google “twilight-themed wedding inspiration” DON’T DO IT! You will regret it….
i heart rob
Have a question for your Aunties Moon & UC? Email it to us at letterstotwilight@gmail.com & we would be happy to answer it and maybe even feature you as a post!
rob hearts me back
Today is the last day! Send us in your Twi-Porn for our Porn-off with The Twilight Sisterhood!

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