Dear The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (breathe),

We’ve all read the book (this is your queue to leave if you haven’t read the book & don’t know how the saga ends– there will be spoilers. ALSO a Harry Potter spoiler. I know, random.) and we know it ends happily for all involved– especially us fans. Most authors don’t actually give us what we want and keep families and friendships and lovers intact, but Stephenie Meyer said “Screw Shakespeare and that tragic ending stuff. Move over JK Rowling and your need to kill off beloved characters. This book is ending HAPPILY.” And it did. And I was happy. SUCCESS STEPHENIE.

Okay, okay– Romeo and Juliet wouldn’t BE R&J had they not died tragically. And after that many years and that many characters, with many loved characters dying previously, we should’ve seen that one coming in Harry Potter. And sure maybe Breaking Dawn would have more critical acclaim had some key characters been killed in an EPIC battle at the end, but screw critics! I wanted to walk away from that story remembering Bella & Edward’s love, that kid they had that kinda grew on me, and Alice & Jasper, Emmett & Rose & Carlisle & Esme all living happily together– enjoying Thanksgiving dinner with Charlie & Sue & Jake cutting up Renesmee’s deer hyde for her and even Leah stopping over for dessert with her new hunky beau from a neighboring tribe. I WANTED TO FANTASIZE ABOUT THAT. And I did. 


HEY! I’ve never been to a Thanksgiving gathering that looked like this….

WHAT is this!? A FIGHT scene? I don’t remember people running towards each other at the end of the book– unless of course they are running into each other’s arms to embrace & apologize for all the hate they had moments prior. This better be the tryouts for some vampire/wolf sporting event. They better not be messing with my perfect fantasy ending of a big wolf-vampire-half human holiday gathering.

So what is Beller doing here? Why is she running?

Leah doesn’t get to call Chris Hansen. I get to be the one to call!

Is she just running into Edward’s arms? Has it been more than 30 minutes since they looked at each other? Is she running to tell Jacob that Chris Hansen is on his way? Did she found out how hot Nahuel is & is running to warn Jacob he might actually have to worry before one of the wolves jokes around that he has lost Renesmee to an Amazonian?

And where is Edward rushing off to here?

oh $h!t! I just realized I forgot to put on deodorant today!

It can’t possible towards the Volturi because that wouldn’t end well. Did he hear a snack on the other side of the woods? Is he concerned about Beller’s vicious appetite & that she can’t even resist the last lone mother deer left in the woods and whose death would mean her fawn would be the an orphaned Bambi? Did Emmett tell him about a new sex move to try with Bella in their private cabin?

Because the’re not running for any sort of battle, that’s for damn sure.


Let’s get Twilosophical for a quick sec:

What do you think about the ending? Are you concerned with what you saw here in the trailer? Are you afraid that the screenwriter & Bill Condon’s creative representation of the book is going to add some sort of battle that was never meant to be there? Do you think they’d actually kill someone just to give movie goers (who haven’t read the book) some excitement at the end?

I really am glad no one dies in the books. And I don’t know what all the running & battle set up really means, but I don’t think it means a Vampire/Wolf war breaks out and blood is shed. However… I can see how they might consider killing someone off in the movie for artistic sake. And I think the ending might be slightly different than in the book. And I’m okay with that.

And I have to admit….while I wouldn’t have been okay with it at all, I can see how literarily it would have made sense to have someone or some people die at the end of the book. But that’s a different letter coming soon ” WHO STEHPHENIE COULD HAVE KILLED OFF.” You might be surprised what we think…… Dun Dun Dunnn

Oh hey– have you been following our newest venture: That’s Normal?  We’re on Tumblr for now. Please read a recent confession I made during a chat with an internet support rep. Plus Like us on Facebook & Follow us on Twitter!

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