As much as I’d like a lil’ hanky panky I don’t want breaking dawn porn!!

Dear Breaking Dawn,

My friend Adrienne sent me this from Robsessed. And my first thought was “ewww” (And I don’t mean from the picture to the right)

Fade to Sad

Well, maybe a lil' fade to sad is okay...

Then I realized… for a girl who cries BREAKING HEADBOARDS 2011 (well, I haven’t cried that yet but plan to starting today) & covers herself in feathers & blood for Halloween (no I don’t) that’s an odd thing to think isn’t it? And I realize that while I really want some hanky panky, I don’t want Breaking Dawn porn!! I know I know…. after all this time of saying it BETTER be good and it BETTER be hot, and calling Stephenie the master at “Fading to sad,” now I’m saying it better not be TOO hot? Is it possible for me to be satisfied with (Breaking Dawn) sex!?

But hear me out: I’m going to see Breaking Dawn in the theater- not in the privacy of my home (or beach) where I read the book. I’m going to be sitting with hundreds of people, many of whom I’ll be annoyed at because of how long I had to hear them yammer on about how hot “Jacob the wolf” is in line.  I’ll most likely be holding Moon’s hand & sitting with Mr. Choice on my other side. The sex scene(s) can’t be TOO hot. Cuz I’ll be holding Moon’s hand, in the presence of Mr. Choice, in a room full of people in public. And that’s just awkward. I guess the NON-“fade to sad” sex scene I wanted for the BOOK might not translate as well to the screen. (ESPECIALLY when every Robstener in the room will be groaning in pleasure as all their Robsten fantasies are realized (read LTR today for some of those very fantasies!))

So what DO I want? What WOULD be appropriate? What advice CAN I give way too late in the game?

Here are some good sex scenes to model after that come to mind after three years of thought no thought at all.

Somebody else made this. I did not. I wish

The Notebook

Ignoring the fact (as hard as it is) that it’s a RYAN GOSLING sex scene for a minute, let me tell you why this is so beautiful. There’s passion. There’s angst. There’s LOVE and well… Ryan Gosling.

But fill in those words & substitute Ryan for Rob & it could work for Breaking Dawn too!

And we already know that Rob & Kristen are going to win the “Best Kiss” award like Ryan & Rachel did (sniff- RIP their relationship)

Little Red Riding Hood

Dammit, Cathi Hardi! You got something right! The sex scene in this movie was HOT. Hot enough to almost make me want to see it again.

I said almost. Not that I would.

And since I TOTALLY just tried to find images for the next sex-scene idea by googling “Romeo & Juliet Kate & Leo Sex Scene” we’re going to talk about two of my FAVORITES of all time starring Leo:

Couldn't find anything sexier than this, but DANG remember this!? I feel 14 all over again

Romeo and Juliet

I get gooey inside when I think about this movie- probably because it was my first movie sex-scene- or the first scene I remember seeing, anyway. Not only was I so obsessed with Leo I used to cry at night (why? I still don’t understand teenage hormones to this day) but DUDE. He DIES in the end. After a sex scene where you could see Claire Dane’s boob if you slowed down the movie enough. Which I used to do. Just cause.

Speaking of Leo dying:

The Titanic

The Titanic was what… a few months after Romeo & Juliet? My Leo obsession was full-on strong & then he had to go & teach me that sex not only didn’t just happen after getting married when you were a teen but could happen right before a major tragedy, was really sweaty and OH SO HOT!

This is still one of the hottest sex scenes of all time to me.

And, in fact, they’re not so “hot” in the traditional sense. I mean…. There’s a little nudity in a few of them. A teeny bit of moaning, but nothing too awkward to watch with a room full of wolf-lovers. But they’re HOT and PASSIONATE without being too porn-ish or cheesy.

So Breaking Dawn, if you listen to me this late in the game while you’re still editing & splicing & cutting things up… make it like one of the above sex scenes. Pretty Please?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What do you think? Is Breaking Dawn’s scene gonna make us sad? Will it please the Robsteners? Too much? Any other GREAT sex scenes you wouldn’t mind it mirroring?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Images from Tumblr

72 Commented


Breaking it down: McAdams loves Sheen and some other Twilight news

Dear LTT-ers,

Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams are an item. I KNOW! And then Tinsel tweeted Gil. Right? And then we told some jokes. And then we broke it down… SURPRISE. So if you haven’t been over to LTR today then let me be the first to tell you this is a double break down day! We hit Rob and now we’re hitting half the cast of Twilight over here… enjoy!

Moon: DUDE we need to talk about micheal sheen with rachel mcadams cause….DAAAAMN SON!!
UC
: YES let’s break THAT shizz down!
Moon
: ok theres a video i watched last night and im treying to find it
UC
: sex vid?
Moon
: hahaha dont we wish
UC
: haha… ONLY if it’s her and The Gos
Moon
: that would blow the robsten magicness out of the water… but whatever theres the proof… can we talk about how he SCORED! i mean hellllooooo rachel mcadams and it says he was with kate beckinsale before this! DUDE
UC
: I KNOW.. what is UP with Michael!? Magical British PeeN? Wait WELSH… he’s WELSH
Moon
: magic WELSH peen who knew?? so im think rachel is a HUGE closet twihard, right?
UC
: oh HUGE
Moon
: and shes just using micheal for either a chance at being in breaking dawn or a chance at getting closer to rob
UC
: its’ what she talks about with michael (and Kate’s) daughter Lily it’s the ONLY reasonable explanation. or to steal something from Lily’s collection
Moon
: thats their bonding time, breaking down breaking dawn with an 11 yr old
UC
: she has Mike’s cape, signed by Stephenie
Moon
: do you think she makes micheal wear his long aro wig when they have sexy times? cause she likes the OLD vamps?
UC
: Yes She does that move from the Notebook and he pulls off her panty hose then she pulls his hair
UC:
clearly I’ve read a fic….Say IT OUTLOUD she yells in a passionate moment, then he does-

BELLER IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

UC: BELLER IS ALIVE!
Moon: BELLER IS ALIVE!
Moon:
Jinx!! this is our next fic we write we only do real life fics
UC
: please write a mini one for tomorrow
Moon
: cause we’re twisted… hhahaha NO

The one where we talk about the Notebook
Moon:
if this is a secret plot to get into breaking dawn, who does she want to be????
UC
: Tanya is taken… and that’s who I’d guess
Moon
: Renesmee??? she has to be team jacob she heard they were using CGI stuff so why not?
UC
: Right she’s got a young innocent face
Moon
: then her and jacob can be all notebook noah and allie in the ocean at first beach

UC: yes- Jake can get a canoe out on the ocean. And it’s the Pacific northwest- it’s bound to rain

Ruff ruff!

Moon: right and he’s like i just want to show you one thing… and it’s a ton of werewolves swimming in the ocean since he couldnt get geese
UC
: doing the doggie paddle
Moon
: i hope BooBoo can swim
UC
: hahah i just heard krazy kidd saying that in my head
BOW BOW
Moon
: hahahabobo hahahaa

Follow the cut for the rest of our break down
Continue…

1 Commented


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