JD Pardo – We’ll do shot with you any day. If we can find an open bar.

Dear JD,

Remember when– we had no idea who you were last week? And even when you told us who you played we barely remembered? And then we were downright shocked when you said Nahuel was 150 years old. As if the Jacob imprinting on baby Renesmee wasn’t weird enough, this is another level. Cause CLEARLY SMeyer sets the end Of Breaking Dawn up with a new love triangle, Renesmee, Jacob and Nahuel. We’re on to you Stephenie. Also we desperately need to read Breaking Dawn again, this is crazy and we’ve forgotten some key plot points apparently.

ANYWAY.Can we also can tell you about how UC was talking with Calliopeblabs yesterday about you  and how you’re “the male renesmee” and she looked at UC, shocked and said “What? there’s a MALE renesmee?” Yea. So clearly you AND Nahuel have a lot of ground to cover in the whole character awareness department between now and November. But we’re pretty sure the loin clothe will make up for that. Trust me, we know this audience.

Cause this is normal

We have to say you might be one of our new favorite Twilight people (hahaha yes, you’re considered that now) because you stopped being polite and started getting REAL. No we weren’t on the Real World but you talked to us about stuff besides character development and the movie and blahblahblaaahblah. Important stuff like your favorite LA bars, what non-Tom Hanks movies are your favorite, why we should defs take those free archery lessons and how it’s hard out there for a Gucci model. OH WAIT. No.

After the night mercifully ended without those shots UC kept trying to push on us we went home to do some Google stalking research.

Things we found out about you -

The photos on your IMDB really don’t do you justice, whoever chose those should be fired and replaced be us. We would love to add “IMDB Picture Choosers” (technical term) to our business cards (under Vampire bloggers, Ryan Gosling enthusiasts, Froyo specialists and Gin taste testers, natch).

Witness:

The Gucci days?? We hope.

From your audition from the OC??

May we suggest one of these:

I might also suggest sending you for some new headshots. We know a great photographer who would shot you in the forest (aka Griffith Park) wearing cocktail dresses reading Twilight magazine. Not that we would have ANY personal first hand experience with this, but it’s just a hunch. Let us know, we’ll hook it up!

Yup, just as normal

So in our research we also found out you were on the OC, our most favorite show of all time as “Tattooed surfer / Tattooed Guy.” Clearly, a character almost as awesome as Seth Cohen. ALMOST. This also puts you in the special Twilight/The OC club along with Jackson Rathbone and Cam Gigandet. Nice work.
The most exciting thing though is that you’re going to be the “bow and arrow guy” (official character name according to us) on the new NBC/JJ Abrams show Revolution. No joke we were super pumped before we even knew you and know we’re even more excited cause we sorta talked to you one night and you’re IN the show with a Mr. Billy Burke. Can you get him to drunk Tweet again? That was always a good time. ANYWAY. Check it y’all!

Yup. You’re the Katniss of the new JJ Abrams show, congrats! And congrats on getting a semi nice letter from us, obvi we sorta think you’re cool.

Can’t wait to see Nahuel in November!

Shots!
Moon & UC

PS We already checked the Mega Bus schedule. See you in Wilmington.

18 Commented


Go see Cam in 5 Star Day! Now out!

Dear LTT-ers,

Remember when I finally decided to forgive Cam

I'm sorry I tried to kill Bella and fake abducted her mom and killed Marissa. Now go see my new film! Oh and Jena's sorry for being a bitch to Julia Roberts

Gigandet aka James for killing Marissa in the OC and being a dirty hippie vampire in Twilight? It’s pretty freakin’ hilarious if I do say so myself. Probably because of all the OC references. But anyway… I forgave him because he’s in a movie called 5 Star Day which is near and dear to the LTT family and more specifically the Moon family! Good news yall it is making it way to theaters this weekand you can see it!
Good news folks you can actually take your boyfriend/husband/dad/gay friend to this one! Equal opportunity film making and not just swoon-y vampires. We get it dudes.

So what’s this movie about you ask? Well here’s a little synopsis:

Four People. One Horoscope. Infinite Possibilities. Jake Gibson’s (Cam Gigandet) horoscope forecasts a perfect Five Star Day the morning of his birthday. Little does he realize that what’s foretold to be a flawless day, unfolds to be far less than stellar when Jake’s world is turned upside down as all that could go wrong…does. Determined that Astrology has no legitimacy, Jake embarks on a journe…y to test the theory of Astrology by finding the three people born the same time and place as himself – Sarah Reynolds (Jena Malone), Yvette Montgomery (Brooklyn Sudano) and Wesley Henderson (Max Hartman). The journey quickly uproots Jake from the small college town of Berkeley, California to downtown Chicago where he sets out to find and interview Sarah, Yvette and Wesley to see if their birthdays proved to be as disappointing as his own. Jake’s pursuit in finding his three Astrological matches (or Zodiac twins) will not only test his convictions, but validate how life’s unexpected twists of fate can deliver much more than the anticipated. The unforeseen takes Jake from the Windy City, to the boardwalk of New Jersey’s Atlantic City, to the bustling streets of New York. What Jake learns along the way is an important lesson about life, love, fate and destiny that will unexpectedly change his life forever.

Watch the trailer

Ok, I know you’re convinced here’s where you can see it starting TOMORROW!

(click to enlarge)

Not in a city 5 Star Day is screening? Well have no fear, this is 2011 and this ish is on VOD everywhere On-Demand, i-Tunes, YouTube ’24hour’ instant rental, and more starting on 11/4. So now you can watch from the comfort of your own PJ’s.

Find out more here:

Like 5 Star Day on Facebook and find screenings
Official Website for more info

Now go forth and complete the cycle of forgiveness by seeing this flick. We can all finally heal from all our Cam Gigandet inflicted wounds. RIP Marissa and James!

Hoping YOU have a 5 Star Day! (hur hur hur)
Themoonisdown

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

14 Commented


Appreciation Sunday: Nikki Reed

Dear Nikki Reed,

No, it’s not April Fool’s day and YES, we mean YOU Nikki Reed. We are going to be appreciating you this Sunday for our reoccurring post Appreciation Sunday. I know you’re probably pretty surprised but we do have a lot to be appreciative about when it comes to you… so let’s get started shall we?

We appreciate…

Your body
While some of the gals in Twilight have the bodies of 13 year old boys giiirrrrrrl you got some curves in all the right places. I can’t lie I was super jelly of your booty in that vampire baseball uniform. Thanks for keeping it real for the rest of us and all I can say is: You better WORK girl.
c
Paris Latsis
I think I speak for all woman kind when I thank you for falling on this grenade. Poor poor Paris spent an unfortunate amount of time with a one Miss Paris Hilton and for that well, he’s considered unclean and probably lacking a little in the mental facilities BUT he did find you and you both seem to be happy and while he has looked like a member of Color Me Bad in the past, he IS a greek shipping heir so I gotta hand it to you boyfriend who owns yachts that sail around GREECE ain’t too shabby. Well played my dear.

Find out what else we appreciate about Nikki Reed after the jump
Continue…

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Breaking down my Twilight memories

Dear Twilight,

Wow… you have really changed my life. I’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting this week since it’s our anniversary week, and I’ve been thinking back to a year ago at the start of it all. Moon & I are extremely bummed that we can’t locate that very first chat we had on 12/8/08 when we decided to start the blogs, but in my searching for that first conversation, I’ve come across a gem. Way back on 11/25/2008, Moon was going through her first read of the Twilight saga, and I was SO excited to finally have a friend to discuss the series with! I laughed re-reading this conversation, realizing how far we’ve come, how much we’ve changed and yet, how little has really changed! I’m gonna stop talking about it and instead, I’m gonna break down one of the first conversations Moon & I ever had about Twilight… vanity fair style!

My “Break down” is italicized between the lines of conversation and it’s green. Green is (what?) GOOD

Someday will cover our faces with that ribbon...

Losing Moon’s virginity

UC: oh miss Moon HI! did you read my blog yet? My review on Twilight the movie? because I forgot you didn’t finish book 3… *spoiler alert*
Book 3? Really UC? No one calls it that. It’s Eclipse
Moon: Thats where I just clicked on! About to read it!
UC: NOOO Stop! Until you finish the series…. I don’t want to give it away!!!
Moon: But I’m halfway through Eclipse? Don’t read it?
UC: Don’t- just because I give away my favorite part!! A part you’ll love
It involves the guy who runs around in jorts warming up the heart-breaker in a tent while the cold one looks on!
Moon: Oh man! I can’t wait. I didn’t read any last nite because I wanted to save it for the plane tonight!!
What? Moon? Is that you? The one who has been tempted to read my blog posts before they post in the morning and has been known to sneak in fanfic at opportune times- like during work or while at church? You WAITED for Eclipse!?
UC: oh yay! Good Idea
You sound 12, UC, saying “Yay” like that. Plus that’s not a good idea
UC: I forgot how good Eclipse was! I think I might read the last 1/2 again before I start Breaking Dawn :) I’m such a loser/really awesome
The phrase you’re looking for is “That’s Normal”
Moon: TOTALLY awesome.
Welcome to the 80s
Moon: yea I’m LOVING Eclipse- might be favorite
It stays your favorite
Moon: Then I’ll probably get Breaking Dawn this week sometime
You’ll try, but every store will be out of it. So you’ll look hopelessly for a week

The one where we prophecize

UC: How long will you be at home with your parents? Until Sunday?
Moon: Monday I come back- decided to make a vacay out of it
UC: nice!!
Moon: stalk stephenie meyer
UC: Oh yay! She lives there, I forgot!
Oh UC… next thing you’ll tell me you don’t know Rob Pattinson’s middle name.
Moon: It’s so sad but I’m so hoping for some odd reason I see her
That hope never dies
Moon: I’ve regressed to age 14 and I’m ok with it
That’s (still) Normal
UC: haha I would want to see her too! And I know what you mean I’m seriously going crazy. I’m only listening to the soundtrack and I keep repeating songs
You’ll do that for another 6 months. You’ll never play that Perry Ferrell song you thought you’d learn to like ever again
Moon: Dude the soundtrack is killing me
Dude- Just wait until New Moon’s soundtrack. You’ll wanna kill yourself
UC: So my review of the movie is VERY similar to yours (I didn’t read yours until after I wrote mine) Except.. I added my opinions of seeing it a 2nd time which was PERFECT because I loved it even more
Moon: yea I’m thinking I need to see it again away from little girls
UC: Yes. it was SO different
Moon: I think I’ll be able to focus on it and not wonder what’s next and stop worrying about the cheesy special FX and enjoy
You won’t stop worrying about the cheesy FX because they don’t stop being cheesy
UC: right- I def. wasn’t focused first time around. [My husband] Mr. Choice didn’t think it was cheesy at all (the diamonds)
The what? Diamonds? Do you mean the sparkles? Oh UC….
UC: he said if it was anything more, he thinks it would’ve been cheesy.
He’s wrong. It was cheesy
UC: I could’ve used some more sparkle myself. Spoiler alert for my review. He LOVED it
Moon: Every dude or person who didn’t read the books really liked it
Is every ‘dude or person” you know a family member of Catherine Hardwicke? [side note: this was during the phase when Moon called every guy a dude]
UC: I know!
Moon: so I think it’s just the diehards who are trying to reconcile the whole thing to whatever they imagined
UC: He said it’s a shame it’s the teen demographic because it’s not going to get the credit and attention it deserves for being a really kick-a movie
Hahahaha UC print that out and remind Mr. Choice DAILY that he once said that. He won’t believe you….
Moon: EXACTLY! So many people are like that’s a YA novel. I’m like SO WHAT?!
Preach it
Moon: If they got a different director and some kick ass CGI/FX this could contend with the summer blockbusters- it’s supernatural
Preeeacch it!
UC: and the actors were soo good!
Uh… who do you mean? Jessica and Mike? And sometimes Rob?
Moon: It could be put it in there with Batman and stuff
Uh, what? Continue…

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The Internet Has Spoken: Twilight is Lame

Dear people who don’t live in a Twilight bubble (aka normal people, most people in the universe & people I should spend more time with),

Sometimes when I see/hear/think of things in the Twilight world that you are also seeing/hearing/experiencing without being in the Twilight bubble yourself, I get really 2nd-hand embarrassed. Like, it’s one thing for ME to go to see a band play who’s lead singer is the baby mama of the 2nd-cousin of the father of the dude who plays Jacob’s sister Rebecca’s husband and see a crazed fan with a Twilight-themed tattoo and her fake lesbian life partner holding all 4 books plus a print-out of Midnight Sun for the the lead singer to sign, but for “normal” people to see that? Or even KNOW it exists? I apologize on behalf of the fandom.

I recently came across this website that has a ‘guide’ for all things Twilight called, “The Internet has spoken: Twilight is lame.” I read what they posted; I laughed along with them, and then I covered my face in 2nd-hand embarrassment because THEY think WE ALL are crazy for liking Twilight and are ALL crazy fans. And now I’m sure ALL FOUR of their readers probably agree with them. So I’m gonna do what any respectable 2nd-hand embarrassed person would do- share the embarrassment with all of MY readers so that we can, once again, thank the Twilight god (Buttcrack Santa, of course, turned into a god after his ascension into heaven) that we can proudly exclaim about all our Twilight actions: “That’s Normal.” (All our actions except attending that 100Monkey’s show. That was not normal! )

Enjoy today’s Monday Funnies after the jump! Continue…

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