Praying and Fasting: For a better New Moon

new-moon-poster-kristen-stewartDear intelligent LTT readers who know better than to love a Young Adult novel & its poorly made movie adaptation but love it anyway,

Comic Con is over. We saw the new clip. We’ve seen the new pictures. The official website is up, and so New Moon time is ON.  It’s time we start our “Fasting & Praying for a better New Moon” which is a phrase we borrowed from our friend Lula who is doing a similar concept with her Twi-pals.

You’ve heard us say it countless times- We love Stephenie Meyer & the world she created. We love Robert Pattinson’s portrayal of Edward & (some of us) love Kristen as Bella, but a LOT about Twilight the movie just plain BLEW.  Buttcrack Santa? Thank you Melissa Rosenberg for writing him in because he’s my favorite character to make fun of, but really? Oh gosh, you’ve all read our blog- I don’t need to keep going- you know what we hated about the movie.

I saw Twilight 5 times in the theaters and have watched the DVD 3 times now (once with the commentary- I know! That’s nothing) and each time I watch it the more embarrassed I am that I spent over $50 at the movie theaters (plus all the money I spent on popcorn- b/c I can’t see a movie without out- seriously. Even if I just had popcorn for dinner, I’d still get popcorn in the theater)

We recently got this email from an LTT reader

Dear Melissa Rosenberg,

Twilight was a joke movie. I love Twilight and have seen it 800,000 times because (of Rob) of my love for the books, but to be honest, it’s a really terrible, second-hand embarrassing movie. The first time I watched it, I had not read the books yet, and I walked out. Of course, after I read the books I went back and watched it 3 more times in theaters. I had been contemplating whether New Moon would be just as…lame for lack of better words, or would it actually live up to it’s explosive hype? Of course, it doesn’t matter, it will still make bazillions in the box office, Twihards around the world, including myself, will watch it multiple times in theaters. But with the AMAZING trailer and all the set videos and visit reports, will the movie end up being an actual good movie that humans beyond the Twiworld would be able to enjoy? I have been pondering this question for awhile, and I had high hopes, because of new direction, a bigger budget, and Rob. But then I remembered. Yes, the director has been replaced (love the coug, but my, my was the directing terrible), and the stunts and make up will actually look professional this time around, but I’m sorry, the worst part about the movie was…THE SCRIPT. It was all your fault. Well not all, but you play a big role in why Twilight was unintentionally hilarious. The dialogue was SO incredibly cheesedick. Come on, “How you likin’ da rain grrrrrrrrl?” It’s not ‘hip’ to talk like that anymore. Nor was it ever. “Any cold…wet…thing…” Really? REALLY? You couldn’t come up with something better to respond to how ‘shez likin da rain?’ And why does Edward HAVE to show Bella he’s sparkly after she says it…OUTLOUD (that made Edward sound like a douche btw). Oh dear, MelMel, you really butchered it. See, because of you, not only do Twihards get made fun of for liking the books, but they are REALLY looked down upon for liking the movie. You should be ashamed of yourself. I really, really hope you watched Twilight yourself, realized how much you assraped the script, and wrote a less parody-like screenplay for New Moon. Stop smokin’ da herb grrrrrrl. Thanks.

Love,
me.

MelMel: At fault? Or another victim of Cathy Hardy's wacky ways?

MelMel: At fault? Or another victim of Cathy Hardy's wacky ways?

So I have to ask. Was it the script? I think that was a huge contributing factor.  So our first prayer & first object of fasting is for “MelMel,” as the email writer called her, to step it up a notch & lay off the ‘suck’ with the New Moon script.

I think she can do it. I mean, she’s got a pretty impressive resume up on imdb. She wrote for Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman for gosh sakes! I wanted to do Sully before I even knew what ‘doing’ meant. But seriously, she’s written for The OC, which like it or love it, is a brilliantly written show, and she is currently a writer for Dexter. I’ve only seen a few episodes and they’re creepily awesome, but it’s one of Moon’s favorite shows and she agrees that the writing is very creative & well-done.

So she’s obviously experienced, although those 3 shows I mentioned (yes, I wasn’t kidding about Dr. Quinn) are all TV shows, and I understand the process is different for TV versus film. Moon argues that she thinks ‘the cougar” (aka Hardy- Catherine Hardwicke) may have had a lot to do with botching the script & added some of those cheeseball lines we all cringe to hear. Admit it- the first month or two you made excuses for those lame lines like “LA Push it’s… La Push” and “Purple’s cool” saying they were “cute” and ‘just a few high school kids playing around.” But by now, we’re over making excuses- we admit it- those lines sucked big time. Did “MelMel” write them in? Or was it Hardy’s fault?

I don’t know and I doubt we ever will.  All I know is that it’s Monday night at 9:51 pm and I just had myself a cupcake (of course), a glass of wine (fine 4 glasses), half a bag of pirate’s booty, some pasta, shrimp fried rice & an apple because my fast starts tomorrow and I’m not going to eat much from now until November.  And I’m holding my eyes opened in preparation for them being closed in a three and 1/2 month prayer that MelMel figured out a way to best write the script so that Chris Weitz can represent those empty pages with just the names of the months listed when Bella is barely surviving visually and beautifully so that not a single sound is heard in any theater across the globe on November 20 other than the sound of heart-broken, sobbing Unicorns & women.

Only 114 more days until I can eat again,
UnintendedChoice

What do you think? Did Melissa Rosenberg have a lot to do with Twilight’s issues? Are you worried about her involvement with New Moon?

Fun Fact: I drafted this post days ago, and when I went into it last night to do a final edit & schedule for today, I noticed I called the screenwriter: Melissa ROBsenberg

Moon loves Rob. And wrote him something special on LTR
The Forum loves you. Go love it back

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New Moon Music we're freaking out about

f_MusicSavesMm_03e9391Dear Music-loving Twihards,

Moon & I are music freaks. We met at music school, we send each other mixes all the time (and by “we” I mean Moon sends me mixes). We both have music business degrees, and we have both worked in the music industry at one point in our lives.  So needless to say, music is really important to us- especially when it involves things we love, like the New Moon Soundtrack.

Add to the list of things we love about Chris Weitz, it sounds like he has kick-ass music taste.  We read that he’s confirmed Thom Yorke from Radiohead on the soundtrack as well as Bon Iver (my fav artist of 2008- please learn how to pronounce his name so I don’t get 2nd-hand embarrassed “BONE-EE-VAIR”). Moon & my friendship really blossomed in the days while we were obsessing over Adam Brody on the OC, and we can’t mention Adam Brody/Seth Cohen without mentioning Death Cab for Cutie who is rumored to have a track on the soundtrack as well.

We’re psyched.

Today, enjoy the music. Maybe you know it Or Maybe it’s new. This isn’t about the videos. You don’t even have to watch them- just push play and let the music fill your soul. This is about the amazing artists that we’re so exicted to hear in New Moon:

Bon Iver

Skinny Love

Actually watch this vid. I got goosebumps. So appropriate. Song is called Woods

This vid has a :34 sec intro- push through it. The song is called Bloodbank

Death Cab & Radiohead after the jump! Continue…

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Instead of a New Moon, Cam Gigandet has a Five Star Day

You ripped me apart and burned the pieces... I gotta say, I'm kinda hurt

You ripped me apart and burned the pieces... I gotta say, I'm kinda hurt

Dear Cam-

Since the MTV movie awards Sunday night I haven’t been able to get your out of my head. From the black peacoat slash waistcoat thing to the black ass kicking boots and the way you stared longingly at Robert Pattinson during the Best Fight Award acceptance speech, I knew I had to forgive you. I mean you are Kevin Volchok from The OC after all, the crazy cokey face creepo surfer who befriended Marissa only to later kill her by ramming your car into Ryan’s in an attempt to “convince her to talk to you!” Smart move dudes. I’ll never get how Ryan thought that would end well and decided to keep speeding up to lose you only to be pushed over the cliff. But alas it was The OC and you were Volchok and Ryan was Ryan Atwood and if he thought punching someone in the face at a mother/daughter fashion show or driving a car over a cliff was a good idea, than he did it.  But I guess that’s a letter for our fake site Letterstotheoc.com. Instead, I’m going to call a truce with you Cam. That’s right, I no longer think you’re a crazed maniac who keyed the Cohen’s car or the awful vampire who steals a video camera from Bella’s house and fake kidnaps her mom. You’re Cam, sensitive muscles for hire.

Would Volchok wear a coat like this?! Heck would ROB?! He's looking like a waiter at TGIFridays and I stepped off the runway. Forgive me!

Would Volchok wear a coat like this?! Heck would ROB?! He's looking like a waiter at TGIFridays and I stepped off the runway. Forgive me!

Why the change of heart, you ask? Well I think there may be a softer gentler side of Cam that we haven’t seen yet but we’re about to. Recently I saw the trailer for a movie called Five Star Day which features you as Jake, the guy who after having the crappiest day in his life, sets out to disprove astrology and I quote:

Astrology: a propaganda campaign of bullshit

Real talk! But I guess somewhere along the way you meet people like Jena Malone (in a serious pixie hairdo) who change your outlook on life for the better and all to a killer soundtrack. Seriously, you know me and movie soundtracks.

So dear Cam can we call it a truce? Can we let bygones be bygones and murderous surfer dudes be murderous surfer dudes? Let’s move past all that trying to kill Bella and fight Edward stuff! I mean originally I heard you were supposed to play Emmett and if that’s the case than I would have been writing this a long time ago but I guess you won’t be around for anymore Twilight movies, so I’ll have to settle for seeing you elsewhere like in Five Star Day and on my DVD collection of The OC.

Welcome to the Olympic Peninsula, Bitch! (that’s the last OC reference I SWEAR!)
Themoonisdown

Check out the trailer for Five Star Day…

go to the Website: fivestarday.com
subscribe on YouTube

Oh and PS if you didn’t get all those OC references where have you been living?! Go get the DVDs NOW! That show and our love of Adam Brody is one of the things that brought UC and I together.

-Don’t forget about UC’s trip to NYC this weekend, read her plans at LTR
-Are you in LA and wanna hang with ME and some of your other LTT/LTR favorites at the Sam Bradley show?? Check the forum Meetup section!
-Oh and why don’t you be a good pal and clicky on our brand spanking new ad up there for Bella’s jacket!

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Keep repeating it… he is 16, he is 16

uhhh.... what's the age of consent?

uhhh.... what's the age of consent?

Dear Taylor-

Could you please stop looking like the buff cousin of Adam Brody? It’s really making it hard for us to remember you’re only 16… not to mention REALLY hard to concentrate at work.

Good heavens…

US (themoonisdown and unintendedchoice)

PS us saying he looks ANYTHING like Adam Brody is a BIG deal

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