Twilight- the Lost Script

Dear Twilight,

I must be really out of it here because I thought I had read/seen/heard everything related to you that was published in the last 2 years, but I totally missed this one. MSN did a hilarious post called “Twilight- the lost Script” back in November.  I captured the pictures and hilarious convo for my blog so that I can read it forever into eternity. It’s that good.

Love,
UnintendedChoice  

Click to make the pics bigger and laugh along with me! 

picture2

The hilarity continues after the jump. You don’t want to miss this!

  Continue…

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The rarest type of Unicorn

In continuing with our Unicorn series, we had a real-life friend submit her find. (By ‘real-life-friend’ we mean someone we’ve actually met opposed to become bff’s over the internet with. Cuz despite the fact that we spend all our time on here, we actually have real lives. We use our real lives to stalk Rob, but they are real…)

The Rarest Type of Unicorn of them all:

What is this unicorn I speak of? Well it’s not just your average Twilight reading male. No no. This male not only reads Twilight but he shares his love of it with other males and tries to convince them to read it as well! I know what you’re thinking- you thought this unicorn didn’t exist, that it was the sort of thing fantasies are made of. And I know what your next thought is, he must be gay. But he’s not! I know him personally, I’ve met his girlfriend, and aside from the occasional pink polo shirt, there isn’t anything that would make you question his sexuality.

I came to find out about this unicorn’s love for Twilight from one of the males that he tried to convince to read it. He was not convinced, and dare I say, appalled at the thought. In an interview with this gentleman he was quoted as saying, “It made me wonder what vibe I had given off that would make him think I would appreciate Twilight, let alone read it?!” I think we can all agree that this would be the reaction of most males. So for more information, I had to go to the source…

I sent a casual email to him saying, “so I hear you’re a twilight fan. Is that true?” His response went above and beyond anything I could have possibly imagined. I think that rather than paraphrasing it would be better for me to just give you the word for word:

“Hahah twilight is awesome! I read the book and watched the movie.  You probably think I am weird but I learned bellas lullaby on piano too hahaha.” 

Really, what else can I say? I imagine that his response has left you as dumbfounded as I was. I feel privileged for uncovering such a rare gem, and I hope that you have enjoyed my discovery. This is my first contribution for letters to twilight. I wanted my first one to be something special, and I think it was. But just to put a little extra icing on the cake, the unicorn let me take his picture. Which isn’t surprising, because if you’re willing to talk to guys about it, you sure as hell know you’ll put it out there for girls :)

Peace. -JPo

(

Sorry girls, this Unicorn is taken :(

Just a thought, wouldn’t it be heavenly if we got THIS Unicorn together with theMoonisDown’s guy friend who loves to talk Twilight? They could play Bella’s Lullaby on the piano while discussing Kristen Stewart’s facial espressions- with their moms! 

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Edward Cullen as a bunny

Dear cute bunnies acting out Twilight,

Thanks for making me laugh!

Bella the Bunny

(If this isn’t actually funny, I blame the 1/2 bottle of merlot I just consumed while reading Eclipse)

Love,
(tipsy) UnintendedChoice

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Fans still love Twilight

Dear Twilight,

Nope. We haven’t forgotten about you. We’ve been a little distracted by all the NReed/KStew lesbo talk and the Kellan Lutz “good boy from your youth group” stories, but we still love you.

While Rob is definitely out-shining you in the letter department, people do still write to YOU too.  See, I’ll prove it:

xo

twi-movie-companion1Dear People at Target,

I swear I am not crazy…and I am not a biatch (well maybe sometimes)! I just find it really annoying and hard not to use my vampire strength to rip your throats out for selling the last copy of the Twilight Movie companion you had in stock to a tween who still can’t possibly know or understand how Edward can make someone ‘jizz her pants,’ as he does me! I understand how you are not really in control of when you will get restocked again, but do you know how inconvenient it is for me to have to wait until tomorrow to hit up Barnes and Noble when you’re just 5 mins from my house?!!?? Anyway sorry for glaring at you (cashier girl) with my ‘onyx-colored’ eyes…I swear they’re not always this color. Next time please try and keep better stock…k?

Thanks,

krazykidd

P.S.

My apologies to my fiancee who thought he might have to restrain me when that bitchfaced tween wallked past me with a smirk on her smug little face in triumph…for a SECOND there I wished I was Jane so I could put her dumbass on check!! (only for a SECOND)   

 

Dear Twilight,twi book covers

Who knew you were this addictive? I’m sure Stephenie Meyer’s publishers did. 

From December 23, 2008 to January 2, 2009 I was completely engrossed in the Twilight Saga that I didn’t even notice Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day! Honestly, there should be some sort of disclaimer on the back. Only took me 11 days to finish the series because “I had to know”. I thought I would be past my obsession once I finished all four books…now even it’s worse.

Now, I take random online quizzes about Twilight and their characters (so sad), and I cannot go to bed without hearing Bella’s lullaby. Also, (and this is hard for me to admit) I rub body shimmering lotion on my boyfriend so that he could sparkle like Edward. It’s safe to say I have a problem.

I will admit that I don’t obsess over the book more than I do over the movie. Watching the book come to life made me wish that this fantasy would never end! Every fibre of my being anticipates the release of the New Moon movie. In the meantime, I get my fix from fanmade videos and blogs (although I would prefer the official complete draft of Midnight Sun, hint hint Steph). 

Twilight, all that’s left to say is this: “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin“. 

Patiently trying to wait,

newtwilightlover (Shari)

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My name's Chris Hanson and you're on Dateline NBC…

Which way to the gunshow?

Which way to the gunshow?

Dear Taylor-

By now we’ve all read at least 4586969 times that you are OFFICIALLY back as Jacob Black for New Moon. Team Jacob can now officially squeal with joy, and the rest of us can put that whole icky Michael Capon thing behind us. Whew.

Access Hollywood just recently talked to you and asked all the ‘hard hitting questions’ we wanted to know, and I have to say, Taylor, I totally have a new found respect for you. You are one of the only cast members who can intelligently talk about the books, the movies and everything in between and not get freaked out by the fangirls too much. You take it all in stride and you’re 16!!! I can’t say the same for some other train wreck interviews we’ve had to endure during the Twilight press tour. Ahem KStew, AHEM.

[clearspring_widget title="Access Hollywood Embeddable Video" wid="482a0d55893fbe3f" pid="496bf957d3aad336" width="400" height="400" domain="widgets.accesshollywood.com"]

The only other thing I can say after watching this interview is I totally felt 2nd hand embarrassed when the weird creepy interviewer guy said “how many inches around is that?” and then asked you if you had a “sixer” going on! And made you lift up your shirt! Uh? EW.  I looked over my shoulder to make sure Chris Hanson wasn’t going to jump out and surprise me with the Dateline film crew cause it felt so skeezy. But I do have to say uh, WOW. You are ripped for a 16 yr old, and now I feel weird.

this reminds me, I need to do my laundry

this reminds me, I need to do my laundry

And back to normal stuff… your hair looks about a billion times better than the previous spiky/ed hardy wearing WeHo douchebag hair you were sporting before. Bravo! Now if only we can talk about the heinous wig they made you wear in Twilight. As one of the Atlanta housewives would say, it was beyond “low budget.”

But dear, as much as I’m giving you props right now after you said:

“Jacob’s in, Edward is out”

I laughed because Edward will NEVER have to compete with you.

Even though your new man-body will make Edward look like a nerdboy.

Much loves and glad you’re back!
Me (themoonisdown)

Previous: Wolfpack Pride
Access Hollywood

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