Twilosophy: Are Edward & Bella Broken?

Dear LTT,

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to any long-time LTT reader that Moon & I were never pro-Robsten. There are many reason for this including:

1. I think it’s kinda weird to “ship” celebrity couples (except for the one true love of McGosling RIP 2005-2007)

2. Reality isn’t that much fun to speculate about it. We enjoyed the “OF COURSE THEY ARE EFF BUDDIES” phase of 2008-2009 and then the “NAH ITS S PUBLICITY STUNT” of 2010. We’d throw in an occasional “No she’s a REAL Fake Lesbian” and “HE’S BANGING NIKKI REED” throughout 2008-2010 for good measure. And who couldn’t forget the “WOW THEY ARE THE MOST BORING COUPLE OF ALL TIME” that has existing since 2011. Speculation is much more interesting. Or straight up making crap up is the best (remember when Moon invited you into the ROBSTEN home?)

The reality is…. ROBSTEN is/was real and real people did REAL things and have REAL feelings about those things and none of that is really any of our business. What IS our business is pondering if Kristen has spent her days indoors turning all of Rob’s shirts into knotted t-shirts she refuses to give back or if Rob has gained 27 pounds after 2 weeks of binge drinking and eating through California’s supply of microwavable fried sandwich pockets.

Who made that our business? God, I think. I think that was on the 8th day of creation. Right after he created wine.

So back to not being pro-Robsten. My feelings about the BIG SCANDAL have been all over the map.

-SHOCK (this really happened?)
-LAUGHTER (cause you saw the fandom implode, right?)
-SADNESS (I mean, really, fandom? Did we just implode?)
-WONDER (“what does it MEAN” said in my best double rainbow voice)
-FIST PUMPING THAT WE’RE COOL FOR ONCE (Even WILL FERRELL cares! (and, of course I mean “cool” in major quotes))
-TIRED (can we move on yet?)
-IMPATIENCE (cuz Moon left for Africa TWO DAYS after this came out and there’s SO MUCH to talk about. I mean. I don’t want to discuss it at all. I’m cool, I’m cool…)
-LAUGHTER (did I mention that already?)
-SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT (cuz.. I mean)

But what I didn’t expect was what happened on Friday when, from my beach chair gazing at the ocean, I was browsing my Facebook feed and I saw this:

And I felt sad.
Or mad
Or just… different

Remember what I said about: I was never pro-Robsten. Seeing happy Bella & Edward did nothing for me on the Robsten front. But it did a lot for me on the Bella & Edward front. Yay! My fav fictional couple next to Mary & Matthew and Damon & Elena and Rose & Jack (okay they’re like 7th on the list) is happy & in love! She’s a vamp now so they an do it for real, a lot! They made a cute baby- life is good! Yay yay yay!

So why did I feel sad/mad/different when seeing their latest couples photo from their local Sears’ photography department?

Are Bella & Edward broken because (gulp) ROBSTEN is now broken?

Have all these years of speculation and distraction from the REAL heart & soul of LTT (Bella & Edward and, duh, Twilight (Hey- remember THE BOOKS!?) finally taken their toll? Can I no longer see Bella & Edward for who they are in real (fictional) life and have I reduced them to…gulp ROBSTEN?

Am I alone in this? Does anyone else feel weird? Did you see Edward & Bella before and now just see a human-turned vampire who left her perfect man for a married guy? And if Bella were to leave Edward for a married guy… who would it be? Someone from the Res? Mr. Molina? Mike Newton’s dad? Couldn’t resist the coupons he kept throwing at her for 20% off at Newton’s outfitters?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN

What does it MEAN?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

No seriously.. am I weird? Alone in this one?

New Bella/Eddie pic from Twilight Examiner

93 Commented


A little Penny Lane wisdom

“I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.” – Penny Lane

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Dear Twilight Fans,

I think Penny Lane said it best when she shared this bit of wisdom with William and I’ve tried to apply it to many things in life especially stuff like bands and music and obsessions like Twilight. Remember that this was once FUN! Find that place again,  take Penny’s words to heart and remember why you’re in this thing: the friends you’ve met, the films you’ve seen, the fun times you’ve had and above all the story Stephenie Meyer gave us.

XOXO,
Moon

12 Commented


Move over Thomas Edison, Kellan Lutz is in town!

Let me tell you about that one time I wanted to rob a bank and how I thought I could get away with it.

Dear Kellan-

Lezzzz be honest here we all know what the fandom is losing their minds over right now and it’s NOT you and it’s definitely not the question I asked you last week at Comic Con about what you would do if you weren’t an actor which sent you into a 15 minute tangent about inventing and getting away with bank robberies. Honestly, it was the most entertaining 15 minutes of the afternoon and if it was just you and me we could have gotten weird with it and talked about how you could make whatever hovel you live in, in the Valley, the new Menlo Park but really like 4 people would have found that interesting, me and White Yorkie (who was with me) being two of them. We would have also asked you if your board game nights with Ashley Greene involved more Candy Land or Settlers of Catan or whether she likes Green Smoothies and if you guys were prayer partners or what ever really happened with Anna Lynne McCord. Sadly, it was not a solo interview and we had to share but we loved it any way and we appreciated your quite unusual response and the oddly specifics details with which you provided. We LOVE unusual and oddly specific, I mean look around.

I’m a wILd aND CrrAAzZZzzYY guy, can’t you tell?!

So regardless of the melee that is happening right now (and srsly, we love it) we love you. I mean you were our first letter after all. You inspired this shit. Congrats. Now next time we wanna talk more about your inventions and less about Emmett’s work out routine. Alone.

XOXO,
Moon

Have no idea what Moon is talking about? That’s cause you haven’t read our interview with Kellan, Ashley & Jackson with our fansite pals at Comic Con. Check it out below. And then when you’re done, make sure you don’t miss our coverage of the EPIC online reaction to last night’s BIG NEWS. (And read about the Break Up Kit we created for Rob!)

Interview with Jackson Rathbone, Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz
Hard Rock Hotel, San Diego
July 12, 2012

If you could do anything besides acting, what would you do?

Kellan: Invent. I love inventing, that’s my first passion. So I would just love to create a bunch of patents, I have a book of 50 right now. So I’d love to be a mad scientist who plays around with chemistry, and solves all the world’s problems and creates a few of them himself.

Did you ever have a mad scientist lab kit when you were a kid?

Kellan: I did. I still do. It’s kind of grown to a “Ren and Stimpy” kind of lab, which is fun.

And who’s your favorite scientist?

Kellan: Michio Kaku. He deals with wormholes. Check him out. He’s great.

Now we’re all going to have to Google him!

Kellan: Him and Albert Einstein, they’re both so ahead of our time. It’s just fascinating to read about them, what their theories are on loopholes and everything else. It’s fascinating stuff.

And if you could play one in a movie, who would you play?

Kellan: Young Albert Einstein.

Jackson: Not Tesla?

Kellan: Tesla is great! Tesla I actually deal with – I have this thing called the Cop Stopper that deals with Tesla’s technology. It’s like a Pokémon ball and you push the button- I want to rob a bank so much – and I’m from the Midwest, so we have like one bank, no security cameras, and so I designed this thing, and I
always wondered, you know I watch “Cops” all the time – why doesn’t a drug dealer design a trap door under their car? ‘Cause cops don’t have cameras under the cars, they get you for throwing stuff out the window! If you got a trap door under your car, boom! You would run over it. It would be genius. They would get out of so much. But my Cop Stopper was a Pokémon ball that you push the button and then Tesla’s coils go in and the chemical compound reactions go, so it’s an electrical ball so once you throw it out the window usually, in my idea of robbing a bank, I’d go through an alley way, and what this Pokémon ball would do, is it hits the metal of the cop car (everyone starts laughing)… see you got me going here! It hits the metal of the cop car and drains it completely dead, so the lead cop car stops, stopping all the other pursuing cop cars and you get away Scott free!

(Laughs)

Kellan: How to rob a bank in Iowa.

….Ok, so Ashley and Jackson! 
(Everyone laughs)

Continued after the jump! Continue…

8 Commented


Remember that whole Robsten thing? Well…

Dear LTT-ers,

If you were not on Twitter late yesterday (west coast time) than you might have missed ALLLLL this:


Kristen Cheats on Rob! – US Weekly

Kristen Stewart cheats on Robert Pattinson with married director -People

Kristen Stewart “Made a Mistake” and feels “Awful” for cheating on Robert Pattinson – Gossip Cop

uhhhh… YIKES!

So when my phone started blowing up with texts from far and wide asking what was going on/what was happening/WHYGODWHY/Why should she do that and UC texting unintelligible things like ZOMGROmKirstncheeteosjhasisdj!!!!!jn!_!! I knew Twitter would be a mess and MAN did it not disappoint. We’re talking a 2009 era explosion among the fandom. I saw people who hadn’t tweeted in years come out of the wood work to weigh in, Nutty Madam was confounded, the fandom Glitterati came out in force to share their thoughts!

To say it was/is spectacular is an understatement. We hadn’t seen this much creativity and hilarity in months. Thank you fandom Gods for seeing to it that we got Christmas in July and that I wasn’t half way across the world when it happened. Since the story is still developing and since we couldn’t let you miss out on a single moment, we’re going to be bringing you all the best from Twitter and around the nets all day. Stay tuned here for a the best of the best in Krupbert-Robsten-gate.

Moon & UC

Updates:

Always the voice of reason and my blogging idol Micheal K from Dlisted has A LOT (of awesome things) to say about this

Every Twihard Just Melted Into a Puddle of Sparkly Misery – Dlisted

PS Michael we beat you to the Nutty Madam response. BEHOLD the twitter convo:



Now Nutty Madam is an elegant lady who is refraining from a reaction video (sadly) because she supports Twi and all it’s endeavors but just think about the possibilities and what might have been… :)

More as the story develops… (I think that’s the first and only time we’ll ever say that)

Tweets we Love (authors are anonymous)

She was careless. Her popularity will plummet. She has jeopardized sequels to SWATH & put BD at risk. No studio will want her. And with a director? Oh god.

Cuz when someone cheats in Hollywood it usually does completely ruin their career:

The spectulation about “the pictures”

so i am not in the crazy robsten forever and she woudl NEVER..but the ones standing..way too tall to be her, unless
she has heels on

AND WE KNOW SHE HATES HEELS!

These things we know to be true:

somewhere out there, michael angarano is having a pretty good day.

@joshuahorowitz sir, you know you secretly in the corner whisphering, “yes” because you think you have a chance with him. Don’t play

Follow us on @letter2twilight on Twitter (or just look at our page if you’re not a member!) for the latest…. There’s too much goodness to keep posting & I realllyyyyy have to work!

37 Commented


What everyone was really thinking at Comic Con 2012

Act excited…

Dear LTT-ers,

So as you know if you were following along last week I was at Comic-Con repping for us here (duh), That’s Normal and Nerd Girls everywhere.

It all started off with a bang, no I didn’t  meet up with the Game of Thrones boys the night before, I was invited to attend the press conference before the Fan Panel on Thursday. Can we first talk about how weird it is that in the last year LTT has gone from non-official red headed step child of the Twilight fan sites/blogs to official red-headed step child of the Twilight fan sites/blogs? Cause, yea it’s weird, but also super cool because YOU guys deserve it. We’ve bee together since 2008 loving on and making fun of Twilight.

So since I didn’t have a camera man (UC with my dad’s camcorder) with me I’ll leave the video stuff up to the professionals. And trust me it was mostly the same stuff we’re all used to. You know the “What was your favorite scene to film?” “Where there any pranks on set?” “Is Robsten’s love a pure as the driven snow?” “Have you tried the new Raspberry Lemoncello refresher from Olive Garden, Taylor?” Ok, so maybe some of those weren’t asked but as Buttcrack Santa is my witness I WILL ask what the cast orders off In-n-Out’s secret menu AND I will ask them to also play “Fuck, Kill, Marry” like we did with Stephenie. SOME DAY. Y’all. Some day. Anyhoo lots of questions were asked and I must say Kristen was super on her game, engaging, answering questions, saying “man” A LOT. Taylor was being Taylor, Rob was off in never never land for a good part of it but his best moments were when he started asking Stephenie questions. All was dandy and fun and I enjoyed drinking tons of little free bottles of Diet Coke while I sat between the Australian woman and the dude from Latino Review (who knew?)…

And then I cried…

Ok, not really but I’m not gonna lie if you looked at me during this moment I may have either been chopping onions on the front row next to this loud Australian woman with neon pink toes or I was having a moment. I think as I was sitting there I finally let it sink in that we’re in the home stretch and that this will essentially all be over in November. And how much what Stephenie and Taylor and Kristen were saying could be said by any one of us.

So on a cloud of wistfulness I ran over to get into the fan panel in Hall H to see what clips would be shown and what awesomely awkward fan questions would be asked. After doing some sweet talking to the psycho Hall H line police dude in a white cowboy hat (I know) I ran in just in time to grab a seat next to the best and brightest (BrookeLockart, Lolashoes, TBY789 and Ms. Myra McEntire) and of course the hecklers. After all we were pretty far back.

Since none of us wants to ctrl + some crappy cell phone pictures I took let’s leave this to the professionals again… but ya know with a little bit of what was REALLY happening…


GUISE!!! I’m here! And guess what! I’ve got my shit together this time! I look great, I’ve figured out how to wear sneakers with nice outfits and not look like I’m trying too hard, my hair looks pleasantly tousled, I have great answers prepared for you, my makeup is on point, I don’t look like Joan Jett on a bender, my nail polish is of some color that the internets will freak over……. oh what’s that you say, this is the LAST one and we’ve done like a billon of these things before and I only just figured it out? Well what can you do?


Damnit. They tricked me again. This is SO not an all you can eat In-N-Out. I should have known an all you can eat In-N-Out was too good to be true. They so owe me. Oh look Sailor Moon!


Yea, no.


Oh these heels? Ain’t no thang.


Hey Ashley, did you know I just had a kid with Sheilawhatsname? Yea, cause I did. And you didn’t. And we’re totally happy and it was totally planned and you’re totally sad about it, right?

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That’s her!! The creepy one who always sits behind the mic! Get her Dean!
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Teach me how to Dougie, tea-teach me how to dougie!
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(click to enlarge this ish!)

Later in the afternoon I participated in some round table interviews with the cast but since we are now an official red headed step child of the Twilight fan sites/blogs we have to wait on that for a bit. So get yourselves prepared for that exciting post and a few other more exciting posts coming up!

Until next year Comic Con! Oh wait *cries*
Moon

PS I have tons more from Comic Con but I’ll post that and all my odds and ends another day.

So did you see the clips they showed the attendees of the fan panel? Getting even more excited?

41 Commented


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