Stuff guys say about Twilight and about me meeting Rob

This unicorn needs to call me. I need new content

This unicorn needs to call me. I need new content

Dear LTTers,

I have a confession to make. After 6 and 1/2 months of blogging at least once a day about Twilight-related stuff, sometimes it’s difficult to come up with content. So occasionally….. I force it. I’ll check my favorite Twilight Saga blogs: NewMoonMovie or TwiCrackAddict and read a headline like “Solomon Trimble: coming to a K-mart near you” and run to my husband and say “Great news! Solomon Trimble, the guy who played Sam (we think) in Twilight but didn’t get rehired b/c he wasn’t studly enough, is gonna be folding sheets in the Martha Stewart section in the Kmart up in Qtown.” Then I wait. What used to happen is that my husband would say something funny. Then I’d say “YES!” and quickly run to draft up a post on my computer. But he’s caught on. He no longer responds to me whenever I mention anything Twilight-related (However, he does respond whenever I mention Rob. He says “He’s a tool”)

So me catching “stuff guys say about Twilight” hasn’t been happening as naturally as it once did. However, it’s been my lucky week because I’ve just captured 3 gems:

1. My friend Jen e-mailed me a little story about the guy who sits next to her at work. He heard on the radio that Rob’s abs were airbrushed on in the New Moon Volterra scene and was appalled. Then this conversation happened between Jen, a girlfriend & her guyfriend:

Girlfriend: (saying to Jen) Hey Arizona, how you likin’ the rain? (UC Note: I can’t even count the number of ‘arizona how you likin’ the rain’ and ‘forks-like weather’ references I’ve heard recently in Pennsylvania. It hasn’t stopped raining for a month)
Guyfriend
: What are you girls talking about?
Jen
: Twilight
Guyfriend
: Oh geez. Yeah, rain…I hope he gets caught in the rain and it washes his airbrushed abs off. Maybe I’ll airbrush 3 extra feet on myself (Jen note: Joe is 5’4″ tall)

See what else guys say after the jump! Continue…

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Speculation Thursday – Moon makes the case for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: NOT together!

We're actors

We’re actors

Dear Kristen and Rob-

Last week my pal UC put on a brave face, sucked up her pride and posted the Speculation Thursday (though it was on Wednesday) post that she thought you may be together. As much as it pained both of us to see that in writing, we had to present the Pro Robsten side of the argument. But never fear, I am here with this week’s Speculation Thursday (on Thursday!) where I’m going to present the Non Robsten side! Cause I look at you two and I’m like, they CANNOT be together, the stoner and the nerd? No way.

If you’ll indulge me I’d like to treat this as a trial, and court is now in session*! The honorable Stephenie Meyer proceeding. Today we will be hearing the case of:

Robsten vs NonRobsten, in the court of public opinion

Opening statement:
Much has been said and speculated about you two over the last few weeks and now having some time to gather evidence and look at the facts I think we can be certain about a few things: Kristen and Oregano are not together and Kristen and Rob are in fact, NOT together. Snogged and hooked up? Sure! But together? No! I ask that the jury keep an open mind as we speculate our way through another Thursday.

Enter into the court room the Evidence…

 

01. The Charlie Hotel / The Morning After – UC cited this story and these pictures as her main turning point. But I have a different take on this much bally-hooed “secret goodbye photos” and “secret rendezvous hotel bungalows” nonsense… I did some research too on The Charlie and there are multiple bungalows in which bungalows also have multiple rooms! Amazing how this works, huh? It’s not uncommon for stars to get ready for awards shows in hotel rooms, Summit’s footing the bill, why not? And you’ve got the room paid for for the night, might as well come back and party after the show, right? I know where you’re going to go with this: “but Moon they were in the SAME bungalow! Ron, the underpaid dude at the front desk, told the shady paparazzo from X17 who palmed him a 50 it was true.” Riiiight. And, if I even believe that they were in the same bungalow, my research tells me that again, SURPRISE, there are bungalows with more than one room in them. I’ve stayed in rooms with guy friends, it’s totally possible. And who knows maybe she was wasted drunk from the dinner beforehand when they decided to go back and party? Maybe they smoked a bol and she passed out on that cute striped chair from the pictures of The Charlie. And then the next day her Mom came to pick up her hung over self and hug Rob for being such a good guy and looking out for poor little Kristen. And no kiss was ever photographed.

Follow the cut to hear the rest of the case!!! (Seriously do it!)
Continue…

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The Twilosophy of fandom

Dear fans of stuff,

Today I want to discuss crazy fans. Boy do I have lots of stories! We shared a few of our favorite crazy e-mails we’ve received awhile back on LTR and since then have just been hoarding them for our own personal collection.  Every few days when we’re feeling particularly low, we open up that folder and read what the crazies have to say.  Then we pray and thank the Lord that we are not like them. (With all the praying we’ve been doing, we’re sure to get the best seats in Heaven!)

a

Hot girls bother them at dinner

Hot girls bother them at dinner

What I want to know is how a normal person turns into a crazy person.  I don’t need to understand why a crazy person acts crazy- it’s their nature! But how do you explain when an attractive, successful driven-woman loses her cool? I’m not even talking about the mothers who leave their families to stalk the Vancouver set(s) for days on end and think it’s a “coincidence” when they keep bumping into ALL the cast members (FYI- it’s not a coincidence when you’re purposely stalking their hotels, restaurants and hang out places) or get offended when security guards take THEIR picture with their cell phones (Which, by the way, was so that they could text YOUR picture to all the other security guards so that you are put on the “she’s crazy- don’t let her near Rob- list”)

a

Actually, no he doesn't...

Actually, no he doesn't... (click if you dare)

No, I’m talking about the people who seem normal in MOST areas of their lives, but it might just be one little thing.  They have great jobs, a great boyfriend or husband, maybe some cute kids and a dog, but their kids are named “Emmet Edward” and “Jacob Embry.” And what about the unicorn who is attractive and talented, yet keeps saying he was “touched real” by Twilight? Oh, and what does it mean when that normal woman whose young boys were mentioned above is pregnant and has named the little girl in her womb Bella Rose?

Seriously? What does it mean? Help me find out, after the jump Continue…

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This is how you found us? Vol. 3

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and lost Googlers-

April is drawing to a close so it’s once again time to crack into our vaults of search terms. I know, I know! It’s just like (buttcrack) Santa came last night and left us all kinds of fun gifts.  So for the uninitiated, wordpress has this handy dandy feature that shows us every day what terms people google to find us. It’s generally the stuff you’d expect: Rob, Twilight, Filet o Fish (of course!) and for some odd reason Muse is one of our biggest terms, but then there are the othesr! And boy, are they off the wall! So we thought man, this is funny stuff- we really have to share it with everyone… and well here we are again with another round of “THIS IS HOW YOU FOUND US?!”

Top searches:
These are terms people used to find both LTT and LTR

  • Adam Brody – be still my heart… our secret secret blog? Yup, that’s right: letterstoadambrody.com
  • we were fine. i have not left my boyfriend – is that you Kristen Stewart? Are you trying to tell us something? You can email us, ya know!
  • i gotta discuss – WHAT? What do you have to discuss with us?? Maybe you should head to the forum?
  • He loves me... he loves me not

    He loves me... he loves me not

    stephenie meyer +rob pattinson – equals true love 4ever? She wishes! You can stop googling you and Rob’s name Stephenie, it ain’t gonna change anything! Maybe you should read some fanfic instead

  • taylor lautner with his mom – Seriously, right?! We love and adore Papa Filet o Fish but what about Mama Lautner? Is she a Mama Yogurt Parfait? Where is she? Cooking Taylor’s eggwhites? So many questions…
  • what would taylor lautner want for a birthday gift? – I don’t know, how about a year membership to 24 Hour Fitness? A copy of season one of Wizards of Waverly Place? Or maybe a My Little Pony comb for his beautimus flowing wig?

Check out more crazy Googles after the cut!
Continue…

53 Commented


Free Therapy for the Twilight Lover

Dear needy Twilighters,

Q: "Why don't the Twi boys like ME?" A: "Screw them. Come visit our Unicorns at LTT!"

Ashley Greene on my couch: Q: "Why don't the Twi boys like ME?" A: "Screw them. Come visit our Unicorns at LTT!"

We really should start charging. I mean every day we get e-mails and comments from people all over the globe thanking us for giving them an outlet for their Twi-(and Rob) session & an opportunity to connect with other people “just like them.” I mean, people who meet on LTR & LTT are meeting up all over the country- 4 gals met in Nashville last weekend. Two met for lunch a few days ago. One of our forum mods is flying to visit an LTR buddy she met just 2 months back. And any day we expect an invitation from either ArmyUnicorn or Jordan for their wedding to a girl they met on LTT. People pay good money for this kind of therapy! Why are we doing it for free? (Note to Moon: write down in Twidea book “start charging a LOT of money for services offered.”

We just want to share a little story with you so that you know what CAN happen if you listen to your Aunt UnintendedChoice and Aunt TheMoonisDown.  All your dreams can come true:

About a month ago, we received a comment on LTT from a new reader. She said,

I am writing to ask for your help. I previously wrote to tell you that I was new to Twilight and really enjoyed y’alls site. That enjoyment is quickly turning into obsession, as I can easily tell has happened to millions.

I really enjoyed your post about being well-rounded, great ideas! I just can’t seem to get enough and it is totally affecting so many parts of my life. In some ways, it is wonderful…..others, distracting. I was recently snow sking while on vacation with my family. I spent so much of the time thinking about how I could squeeze in Twilight. I would listen to the soundtrack while skiing, think about it on the lift, on the slopes. My husband is very understanding and he even built me an Edward snowman and made a comment that the snow sparkled like Edward.

Since I am “new” to all this, I am curious to know how long I should expect this obsession to last. I spend every free moment I have reading the books…again, watching the movie….again, looking at websites…again. When does it get easier? When can I pull myself away? Thanks so much for any help you can lend. I truly appreciate the dedication and commitment you have to people like me! -dazzled

I put on my glasses, pulled my hair up into a sexy loose bun, straightened out the pillows on my therapy couch then had my way with Rob on it invited dazzled to hear my amazing (free) advice:

Hmm… good question! The major obsession will pass… eventually, but if it’s really affected you, which is seems like it has, you might just have to figure out how to balance it in your life. My suggestion- try reading another book. It will be hard, but it will be good for you! Turn off the soundtrack- maybe try something FROM the soundtrack- Mutemath or Muse? Tell yourself you can only look online for twilight news 3 days a week…. It’ll pass.. but it sounds like it might be with you for awhile!

Problem solved. NEXT for the couch: Pattinson Pants lady wants to know if she should or should not wear her Pattinson Pants when she meets Pattinson. Um, hell no. You’re crazy.

After the jump, see the update we just got this week from our “client” dazzled.

Continue…

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