Back to December and back to Swiftner, we break it down

Dear Swiftner (aka Taylors’ Swift and Lautner),

We miss you… a lot. We love each one of you… a lot. And now Taylor Swift has written a song about you Taylor Lautner and we want a reunion… here we are to break it down. DUH.

Have a listen here:
Taylor Swift – Back to December

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What could have been…… awwww…

The one where we go back to December, lit-trally
UC
: okay let’s talk some Swift
Moon: yes, can i tell you my fave feature of itunes is “date added”… listening… omg my boss must think im crazy i have this blaring
UC: hahaha… youre trying to be “well rounded”
Moon: back to december allll the time. ok ok taylor im opening ltt’s dec 2009 archives… clearly taylor is an ltt fan cause dec is our anni month
UC: happy anniversary us!
Moon: awww the lautner family xmas letter. tay is sad she wont make it this yr
UC: i just saw that
Moon: oh we did a tay laut appreciate sunday in dec
UC: yeah… they were TOTES on in Dec. is that when it fell apart? Or was December a happy month?
Moon: OH right he was on SNL this month… dude what happened?! when were they seen out all those times with to go boxes? and his sports car
UC: i thought that was in the spring, but that must have been before… ohhh wait you wrote to the Taylors here and then we broke down swiftner like crazy robsten fans in OCTOBER of 2009, OCT 29 2009
Moon: awwwww memories
Moon: rainbows, unicorns… lisa frank folders
UC: it was perfection

The one where we think we know what happened

UC: and we know now, b/c of song and….. i’m now even MORE convinced this song is about them .. the timing was off in my head.i thought Swiftner was in the winter/early spring. but no… it was fall into CHristmas season
Moon: well when i was in planes, trains and hospitals last week i read like EVERY rag mag and she said it was about him pretty much
UC: and while I have to admit I’ve spent a long time listening to her new album over the past week, i think that this is how it went down: they met. They had so much fun. they liked each other. HE admitted the feelings were strong, and she did not. she hurt him. he left. she misses him, she’s sad, writes hit song. we break it down… and hopefully one day see her in concert ( I love Taylor) Because remember when that super secret source who is friends with Taylor told us they were NEVER really Swiftner and we were heart-broken? well, I still think that might be true…. and that Tay Lautner wanted to be Swiftner. HE wanted matching Lisa Frank trapper keepers & white baby kittens to hold together under a fuzzy pink blanket but something scared Taylor Swift off- I’m gonna go with Joe Jonas. And Ashley Greene- cuz she’s fun to blame even though they weren’t together then and Summit. Let’s blame Summit
Moon: hahaha, cause everyone loves to blame them for everything.
UC: Taylor Swift saw Robsten- and what happened with them- the rabid fans & the manips of their lovemaking in front of the fire (mostly from us) and didn’t want to BE Swiftner and broke Taylor’s heart
Moon: i think they were having a good ol time filming Valentines Day. they hung out, “dated” with chaperone’s (aka big daddy), vma nonsense with Kanye happened, things heated up, love declared on SNL, then BOOM johnmayer/joejonas/whoever called

The one where Taylor Swift is scared of the fireplace

Wait, is this a manip?!

UC: she says “Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind”
Moon: fear of the fireplace
UC: Fear = The Swiftner version of Robsten Fans making love videos
Moon: it’s alright to be scared the first time taylor
UC: Don’t fear the fireplace Taylor!
Moon: we’ll walk you through it
UC: haha we’ll make a step by step guide to rocking the fireplace, also rocking in front of the fireplace
Moon: taylor laut no doubt has his v card so it’ll be quick
UC: Yes- it’ll be his vcard disappearing that night.. yours will barely be touched.
.
The one where the Jersey Shore gets involved

Yup, totes DTF

UC: So let’s get back tko the lyrics though- as they tell a good story…….in December, of 2009, after they went out to celebrate LTTs 1 year anniversary…
Moon: Clearly.
UC: it sounds like Taylor gave her flowers….. probably got down on one knee and asked her to make Swiftner official. NO doubt he had breadsticks in hand to seal the deal and she said NO
UC: and dropped the flowers- or he did. ANd they wilted. Like their almost Swiftner relationship
Well, it says it right there- “SO good to me. SO right” I think she loves it. She sings “It turns out freedom aint nothin’ but missin’ you, wishin’ I’d realized what I had when you were mine” It sounds like Mr. Lautner was laying down the law… saying. enough of flirting with boys from Nashville.. I want you all to myself Taylor
Moon: dude TAYLOR LAUTNER get your people on the phone, charter a flight and get to wherever Swifty is because as The Situation and Pauly D say: TAYLOR SWIFT IS DTF!!!!!!!!!
UC: You’re right she was JUST DTF
Moon: she realizes she had it GOOD and john mayer is a toolbag and she wants his assssszzzzz back
UC: she sings about wanting Freedom- but “Freedom” meant getting screwed & felt up by a dude with backne (aka John Mayer). i don’t mean screwed like Effed, I mean screwed over and felt up after having to give him a massage over his backne.
Moon: screwed as in he stole her publishing rights on a song they cowrote. LICENSING NERD ALERT!!! john mayers no fool. he sees her #1 songs

Follow the cut to read the rest of our break down, to see who we blame and the bet we place
Continue…

117 Commented


Breaking Down Swiftner aka we heart Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift HARD!

Dear LTT-ers and Robsteners,

We so get it now! After the pictures of the Taylors (aka Swiftner) came out this week and the ensuing letters I wrote to them UC and I fangirled out (it was mostly a lot of high pitched “oh-em-geeing) half the day about Swiftner and how much we loved them. I started watching the clips commenters posted in the letters to the Taylors post and I knew I had a new addiction. Here’s UC and I breaking it down…

The one where I “come out”
Moon:
I officially sound like the Swiftner version of a robsten fan*
UC hahahahahahha and i like it SO much more!
Moon Yes, it’s not nearly as annoying or annoying at ALL
UC RIGHT! just cute!
Moon dude ive SO watched like 2 videos of him at her concert in Chicago. Stop me
UC: hahahahahhahaha love it!
Moon: people are posting them in the comments. She sings 15 in the audience in front of Taylor and then comes to hug the folks where he’s sitting and when she hugs him and the crowd goes nuts. its SOOO embarrassing. im embarrassed for them. and then they do that lingering hand holding thing as she walks away. Swiftner lives folks! hahahaha
UC: awwwww!!!! sooo cute!!!!
Moon its super cute
UC dude.. that’s amazing. Send me the link to the video

Moon: OMG!!! HAHAHA its even more embarrassing from this other angle
UC: Watching! Awwww!
Moon SO CUTE!
UC he’s like “i love you” SOO cute! what if he sang? i’d die if he started singing along with her!
Moon: HAHAHAH they need to do a duet. I hope taylor has seen taylors crappy student video

Follow the cut to see us have an epiphany and plot our Swiftner love blog
Continue…

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Letters to Twilight in 10 words or less

Dear LTT-ers,

Just the other day I was talking to UC about how I wished I could just post two word letters or even three (go for the gold Moon!) because sometimes less is more especially when you see shiz like this:

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Dear Rob and Kristen,

Be less predictable.

Love your pal,
moon

So I decided to summarize the following Twi-news, pictures and what have you in 10 words of less… can I do it and still be semi funny? Will you love me when I fail miserably?

Let’s see shall we?

Your faithful servant,
Moon

Take the cut to see if I can do it!
Continue…

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And the winners are…

Dear LTT/LTR Gals (and lost dudes)-

You all are the most creative, talented, generous and awesome-est people we know! UC and I have been blown away by the entries to our lil Twi-alentine’s contest. When we had the idea originally we had no clue what people would enter, if anything! But now all we can say is “WOW” because you all did NOT disappoint. After the contest closed UC and I met at Rob’s place behind closed doors  and had a jello wrestling match super top secret meeting to decide the winners. It was a tough job but someone had to do it!  So without further adieu the WINNERS!!!!!

Poems – write us your best “Roses are red…” Twilight related poem

01 all Twilight series characters
Winner:  Paige and Christina

Poem from KStew to her weed
Roses are red,
you are my green.
When I don’t smoke you,
I get bitchy and mean.

In the morning,
when I wake.
I fill my bowl,
and a hit I take.
Oregano and I sit,
on the steps outside.
We smoke until,
we are flying high.

I love you like,
girls love RPattz.
And even a little more,
than my own cats.

People tell me that,
I really should stop.
When they say this,
I tell them to stfu !

02 Rob
Winner: FutureMrsP

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Everyone at letters to Rob
Wants to spend V-day with you
We will leave our husbands
And our children too
Just to spend one night with you
It’s really not a lot to ask
We will make worth your while
Trying out new things
That is guaranteed to make you smile
So whether you want naughty, nice
Or even lots of spice
We promise to make it
The best day of your life

03. Misc. (Stephenie, Forks, fangirls, whatever your heart desires)
Winner: Melissa

Of course it wasn’t a roofie
that I slipped into your drink…
You’re right it’s getting hot in here,
too hot for that flannel, dont ya think?

While you’re at it lose the beanie
and I’ll help you with those shoes..
Put on your fave Morrissey album
and I’ll get you some more booze.

Better take off those dirty jeans,
& oh, those boxers are the bomb!
Yeah I’ll undo those handcuffs, Rob,
first just let me phone my Mom..

Hey while I’m at it let me log on..
Oh, Spunk Ransom, you’re the best!
Gotta check ‘Letters to Rob’
and send this into the contest!

(moon note: you had me at Morrissey!)


Cards
– design a Twi-alentine Day’s card. It can be digital, photoshop, scrap, stamped, whatever you want.

01 all Twilight characters(bella to edward, you to jacob, whatever)
Winner: Julie @starsfallcreations
Bella and Edward

clicky to enlarge

clicky to enlarge

02 Rob
Winner: Amber @atheinert.etsy.com

clicky to enlarge

clicky to enlarge

03. Misc. (skies the limit, anything Twilight related)
Winner: Rhojo
Volturi and Rob

clicky to enlarge

clicky to enlarge

Rad, aren’t they!? Now let’s give all the winners and entrants a HUGE round of applause! Seriously there were so many great entries it was a very difficult decision… so much so that next week we’re going to feature “The Best of the Rest!” and show off everyone’s creativity.

To the winners: we will use a random picker thingy (technical name) on the interwebs to choose which awesome prize you’ll receive and we will contact you via email to set up prize delivery! Go check out a sample of the SUPER DEE DOOPER prizes that have been donated!

Congratulations winners!
Themoonisdown & Unintendedchoice

9 Commented


Twi-alentine's Day Contest Prizes!

Dearest LTR/LTT readers-

And you thought you weren’t going to enter our totally rad Twi-alentine’s Day contest?! Not after you see the amazing prizes we’ve rustled up!

You know we have the cutest, smartest, most talented and most creative readers here at LTR and LTT and some of them have been so kind to offer up some of their amazing handiwork for our little contest to reward YOUR creativity! Feast your eyes on the beautiful, funny and MUST HAVE prizes for the winners…

runswithvamps02runswithvamps
A stunning stamped silver jewelry piece from the talented Jen @ Shinebeads (her Etsy store) WANT! Talk about classy Twilight inspired jewelry!

wendyfrontwendyback
Edward and Bella keychain inscribed with Edward’s note to Bella “Be Safe.” Perfect for all those lead foots and/or Cullen family members! Made by Wendy @ Couple More Hours/ Wendy’s Etsy Hey, Twi-merch folks are you taking notes?

cullenshirteddyactionfigure
From the very sassy Sass: a Cullen Family crest shirt to add to your smashin’ fashion! Aaaaand an Edward action figure for all your “Ming” reading needs! What more do you need in your life? Now you can send us Where in the world is YOUR Edward! (and Sass we perused the ENTIRE world wide web to try to find if you had a blog or website we could send your fans too- All we found was a campaign contribution from 2004 (we are awesome stalkers). Let us know if you have a blog addy!)

teenybopper
The “Teeny Bopper” care package courtesy of us LTT/LTR girls! An “M” magazine complete with post-it note comments from me (moon), Twilight trading cards, Twilight buttons, Lisa Frank UNICORN stationary to write you very own Letters on and an Edward/Rob journal to write all your deepest darkest Rob related secrets! Seriously, wait till you see the posters in this mag! HA!

All this and MORE!!!!

Wow, I wish I could win! I’m gonna have to put some orders in with these talented girls because these make perfect gifts for all the Twilight gals in my life ME!

It’s not too late to enter!!! We’ll be accepting submissions up till Thursday, February 12th at 6PM PST. Now get to creating!

Read more info about our Twialentine’s Day contest!

HUGE HUGE HUGE thanks and gratitude and awe for all the wonderful gals who donated and created something special for YOU folks here at LTR and LTT. Give them a e-round of applause!

Get creative,
Themoonisdown

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