If not you, Twilight. It’s me…

(While I’m away in Kenya for 2 weeks (TWO WEEKS! AH!!!) we’ll be featuring past letters writers as well as new ones and today we have a newbie: KSiggy2010 writing a break up letter. NOOOO say it ain’t so! xo,moon)

uh ooooohhh

Dear Twilight,

We have to talk. No, please don’t cry. It’s all going to be okay. We’ve been together for a year and a half now, and it was a fun time. But I think I may be over. It’s not you, it’s me. I was young and naïve when we first got together, but now things are going to be changing. I start college in the fall and I don’t want to do the long distance thing. I’m sorry but I’m going to have to let you go. Don’t cry! If you start crying, I’ll start crying. But it won’t change anything.

Remember all the good times we’ve had. Like the time my mother *50 year old cougar* and I went to see the 100 monkeys…twice. This was back in May ’09 when he was still hott, without his catfish facial hair and side talking. That was a good time, we got to see Philadelphia and the skeezy parts of Allentown. That was my first time, the popping of my Twilight cast cherry.

My second time was better than my first; it went much smoother and was relatively painless. My mother booked two bus tickets to go into NYC to see Tim Burton’s exhibit at the MOMA. Coincidentally, Rob’s Remember Me premiere was also going on…totally didn’t plan that *wink* So I obsessively checked Twitter  to see what was going down and got my wristband and chilled till the epicness of the movie premiere began. We stood in line for hours on end, but then Rob came *twss* over in his hobo greatness, with his unwashed hair, and his two button downs. It was hard *twss* to believe that this man could be even more attractive in person, but he was. Then some chick was there with a greasy black mullelephant. She didn’t come over and there may have been some *bitchfacing* going down on my side.

I don't want you to come... to college with me...

There are so many other things that happened through our Twilight relationship. I cannot see a group of bears or wolves without yelling “They are NOT bears!” whilst pointing and jumping. That can get you some strange looks in a toy store, and maybe a special hug from the security guards. Whenever someone offers me a grape lollipop, I have to say, “Purple’s cool”. I can’t go to TGI Fridays and watch people drink an Ultimate Margarita while Van Morrison croons “Wild Nights” on April 9th and not think about, you, Twilight *this really did happen and it blew my mind*.

I cannot go into my dorm room in September with my New Moon AND Eclipse full size Edwards, pocket Edward, my photo albums, and fanfiction binders. I think it’s time we take a break. Maybe we can get together when I’m home for breaks? I’m sure my mother would be willing to entertain you. So Twilight, it’s not you, it’s me. But believe me I’ll be there cringing when you bring us Breaking Dawn.

You’ll always be in my heart,

Oh KSiggy don’t let our love die! NOOOO. I think you can have the best of both worlds, college AND Twilight. It’s all about the balance and leaving those cardboard standups at home. Oh and don’t pass up an opportunity to go out with friends, party or meet people for staying in your room and doing Twilight stuff. It will always be there! College will not! Have fun and let’s all give KSiggy2010 some college advice… can we really have the best of both worlds or will we all inevitably “grow out” of this stage?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

103 Commented

Twilight n trashy magazines at 30,000 feet

Hi my name is what, my name is who, chicka chicka chicka Edward Cullen!

Hi my name is what, my name is who, chicka chicka chicka Edward Cullen!

Dear Rag-Mag Editors-

Since it’s Memorial Day I decided to head home to Phoenix to spend the long weekend with my family and while there to see fellow blogger of awesomeness Lauren from Lauren’s Bite. So of course plane flights mean MAGAZINES!!! Probably one of my most favorite parts of traveling. So I got to the airport excited to grab some reading material and EVERYWHERE I looked magazines had something Twilight related on the cover or inside. Twilight mania has officially taken over your printing industry and I can’t say I blame you for printing the stuff but seriously if you’re going to bother why not write something new?

Robert Pattinson CUT HIS HAIR! ZOMG!!!!!

Robert Pattinson CUT HIS HAIR! ZOMG!!!!!


Case in point OK! Magazine it drew me in because the cover had one of my fave Rob pics of all time plus the caption “Robert Pattinson Has The Blues.” What could be better right? Not so fast! You think you can fool us with THOSE PICTURES!! One is from freaking DECEMBER and the other is God knows how old… from EW last year sometime. And then the article references quotes from Catherine Hardwicke and talks about his love of Van Morrison. Hello, this is 2009 have we met? I kept waiting for a Hot Pocket reference.

Grade: F buy this is you’ve been living under a rock for the last 9 months or didn’t know Rob cut his hair in December.

Obviously NOT a Twi-hard fan

Obviously NOT a Twi-hard fan

US Weekly

Somehow I figured the hair stylist who found the scripts was some sassy chain smoking older tranny type and not Amy Pohler! Who knew she had her own salon in the midwest! Does ‘Gob’ have a Barbershop next door? St. Louis would rule.

And NO I don’t want Kate Gosselin’s reverse mullet dead beaver hairdo, but thanks for asking.

Puppy Love, Cannes and Cam!

Puppy Love, Cannes and Cam!

Then US Weekly earns some bonus points for having TWO MORE Twilight related features… one featuring actual RECENT pics. Shocker, I know! I flipped the page and those two cabbage patch dolls are staring at me at 30,000 feet. They’re so sickenly sweet I grabbed the barf bag.

Grade: B+ get this if quantity is your thing, you wanna read about the John & Kate train wreck or you really wanna know what swimsuit fits your body type (I should get a halter style, FYI).

I totally hugged this magazine and said a prayer for Chris Weitz

I totally hugged this magazine and said a prayer for Chris Weitz

Entertainment Weekly

If you have 4 bucks to waste this is the mag for you, it’s only two pages but they have exclusive photos that were actually exclusive from the set. Imagine that! And they do NOT disappoint. I cracked this baby open and gasped out loud cause it was SO good! I said to my seat neighbor, “THE BIRTHDAY SCENE!!” She quickly got up changed seats. Her loss! If she was a Twihard addict I would have been her dealer on that flight. Loser.

Grade: A+ Get this and hug it close to your chest and send one up to the big man upstairs that New Moon will live up to all our hopes and dreams. Ignore Eminem on the cover.

But back to you rag mag editors…

If you’re gonna feature anything Twilight related in your trashy pages can I ask that you at least give us some current pictures and news? I know this is the digital age and all but still! Try a little harder. Oh and can I get a refund on the OK mag?

Your faithful reader,

PS It was raining here in Phoenix and when I arrived my mom turned to me and said “Arizona, how you likin’ the rain girl?!… I’ve been waiting ALL day to say that to you!” Please love how awesome my mom is. Also she says a BIG thank you and WE DID IT to all those who voted for Kris Allen on American Idol!

Have an extra 40k laying around? Wanna buy Robert Pattinson’s affection for a few minutes? These people did!

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