A few things that have made me laugh about Twilight

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Dear Twilight,

With the hubbub of Breaking Dawn dying down, I’ve finally had a moment to collect my thoughts & sort through my emails &  my bookmarks & share a few funnies I came across over the past few weeks that maybe you missed. Yes two of these are videos & I knowwwww you can’t always watch videos if you’re at one of those job-things, but SAVE THEM for later. Seriously- especially this first one. You DON’T want to miss it.

First up from The Onion:


Older Hispanic Men Line Up Excitedly For ‘Breaking Dawn’ Premiere

I mean really… can that BE any funnier?? (Said in my best Ross Geller voice)

Then there was:

And okay that gets a little ridiculous at the end (Cause apparently to me T.W.A.Ds isn’t ridiculous in & of itself. That’s Normal) but come on! That’s funny!

And lastly, the hilarous blogger, The Bloggess, LEGITIMATELY donned a wolf costume for her Breaking Dawn midnight showing:

And wrote ALL about the experience: It’s like a hoodie but with fangs. Read it NOW!

Short & sweet today, but GUESS WHAT? There will be content tomorrow AND Friday on LTT! Whoo hoo! Why are we posting on a THURSDAY, you ask? Well, maybe it’s a very special day tomorrow December 8th. I bet you’ll never guess what!

Talk to you soon! And by “talk” I mean, I talk and you write amazing comments about my amazing talking & occasionally mix in a hateful comment*

xo,
UnintendedChoice

*I’m in an ODD mood tonight, if you can’t tell!

Thanks to Bea for sending me TWO of the 3 things I posted today! XO

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16 Commented


Eight things to do while we wait for Breaking Dawn to be out in theaters

Why did I not think of this?

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Last week to celebrate the 71 lone days left before Breaking Dawn is released, the Village Voice (yes, the Village Voice) wrote a piece called “71 Things to do While you Wait for Breaking Dawn to finally be out in Theaters”

That’s right. They had 71 ideas. I read about 10 of them before I got bored (no offense, it’s just that… well, 71 is a lot of ideas.) But I particularly loved the image the included (left) and #53:

53. Consider how the title of Breaking Dawn includes all of the letters for “Edward.” Get chills.

Dude..

But I thought it was a good idea. So now there are 66 days until Breaking Dawn Appears, and that is basically TEN weeks until it’s Breaking Dawn week. So here are my 8 ideas of what you can do while you wait for Breaking Dawn to FINALLY be out in theaters, because coming up with 10 was too hard:

Hellooo Joe Anderson, aka Alistair (who...?)

1. Re-watch Twilight and be reminded that no one will ever be as loved as much as Buttcrack Santa

2. Learn who the heck the new vampires are and which are the cutest so you’re prepared for the crush you’ll inevitably develop on one of them (wait…. are we going to see new vamps in Part 1?)

3. Listen to the Twilight soundtrack while at work and TRY NOT to get all gooey inside during Iron & Wine’s “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” (aka the “Prom song.”) And I DARE YOU not to sing along to Paramore’s “Decode” or think about Rob making fun of how Hayley sings “Here”

4. Re-read your favorite fan fic version of Isle Esme & remind yourself that the movie won’t be like that because we don’t WANT Breaking Dawn Porn (Here is one Isle Esme fic I found after searching through the 334 messages that include the phrase “Isle Esme” in my gmail inbox (seriously))

One of the many things Action Figure Edwad has done over the years with Moon & Myself (um THAT sentence could be taken the wrong way...)

5. Start throwing LTT jokes into every day conversation with random people to see if anyone “gets” it. “Look at that guy’s jorts. He could be a member of the wolfpack,” or “Hold me back, Chris Hansen” when you see a cute, younger guy (but, uh, not young enough that Chris Hansen should actually hold you back.)

6. Plan your voyage to “Mecca” (aka LA around November 18-22. You ARE coming right? I’ll be there with Moon! Get excited for something fun for LTT readers. Hopefully it involves Paramore Karoke)

7. Dust off Action-Figure Edward and have an adventure with him. Did you get a new job in the last 2 years? I’m pretty sure Edward needs to visit your office & be “accidentally” left in the kitchen so you can see how long it is until someone comments about him.

8. Re-watch some of our famous LTT videos & be reminded about how much fun we’ve had over the years:

and my personal favorite:

Is it November yet!?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

10 weeks!!! Can you believe it? What else can we do to fill our time & prepare our hearts & minds for November’s craziness!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

46 Commented


Emergency Post (Because Michael Sheen does a dramatic Fan Fic reading)

Dear Twilight,

It’s Thursday at 11:42 am ET. And I stopped what I was doing (photoshopping a truck for a “truckload sale” we’ve having this weekend. Come on down if you want a hot tub & live in Philadelphia!) because THIS VIDEO of Michael Sheen dramatically reading a Twilight Fan Fiction appeared:

(Sorry if you’re out of the US and can’t see that. Boo hoo :() This is ALMOST my dream come true. Except my dream involves ROB doing a dramatic reading of ROBSTEN Fan Fic and then making out with me afterward because, ya know, ROBSTEN fan fic gets me hot

What a great addition to my Thursday! Thanks Michael Sheen. And Best Week Ever and Marah for the heads up :)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

135 Commented


Friday Funnies! Chris Weitz likes the best videos. EVER!

Dear LTT-ers,

I don’t know about you all but today is a big day… it is Good Friday for those who celebrate and it is also the LA stop on the Railroad Revival Tour so I am busy celebrating, remembering, singing and eating Five Guys (the restaurant, pervs). BUUTTT I thought we should take a second to have a laugh courtesy of Chris Weitz and his Twitter. At some point (who knows when) he tweeted a link to his favorite funny Twilight video. It just happens to come from The Onion so you KNOW it’s gonna be gooood.

Sit back for a minute enjoy this and have a wonderful Holiday weekend.

Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation’s Capitol To Spare Life Of ‘Twilight’ Author

Worse than when Sam phased and slashed his beloved Emily in the face” and the terroist in a Twilight tshirt?! Someone’s a HIGH-larious fan at the Onion. It’s so much win that I can’t even quote all my favorite parts… It’s like they wire tapped a Twihard event, or just copied word for word Twibloggers posts from the nets.

Happy Holiday Weekend to Everyone! TGIF!
Themoonisdown

Source: The Onion

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

41 Commented


Remember that guy Taylor??

This guy?!! Yea?! YEA!

Dear Taylor-

It’s weird how out of all the cast you don’t get that much love here post wise and you’re probably the nicest and most normal (I would assume). AND I really DO like you!! Why is that? Are you staying out of the spotlight? Is Big Daddy calling you every night at 1oPM making sure you’re tucked in watching Sports Center instead of our carousing with the locals? Besides a few sushi lunches you really haven’t been seen out and aboot much in Vancouver. So when I see you I’m like “oh wait, that Taylor guy IS in this movie…” and boy, do you ever remind us you are with this clip:


It’s funny that you cringe when talking about imagining Edward and Bella down in Brasil gettin’ it on like Marvin Gaye sings, cause really it’s pretty much imagining the magicness happening between Robsten on the bear skin rug daily and who DOESN’T like to ponder that for like 23 of the 24 hours a day we have???
.

So here’s the crazy thing, Taylor, you’re in other movies besides Twilight! Insane, I know.
So here’s the thing… are you playing Hanna meets Jason Bourne meets the narc in your local high school? This whole thing raised some red flags for me…

  • 1. What high school girl is cruising missing children’s websites when she should be looking up the address to her local esthetician to get her Robert Pattinson meets Camilla Belle eyebrows in check? And if your high school girlfriends idea of a good time is looking at missing children’s websites you might have a bigger problem on your hands. Like SHE’S the narc… or she’s really into those CSI Criminals in SUV shows and THAT is scarytown.
    .
  • 

  • 2. If your mom is Maria Bello and you are Taylor Lautner, you definitely did not come from her womb.
    .
  • 3. If Maria Bello is such a grade-a ass kicker why didn’t her and her friends take a taekwondo class in The Jane Austen Book Club instead of reading books and yammering on about Northhanger Abbey (I love you J.A.)?
    .
  • 4. Is it in your contract that every movie you’re in feature a motorcycle riding scene? Preferably wearing a tight, dark v-neck shirt while it rains. Good agent.
    .
  • 5. If Sigourney Weaver tells you she knows your “real” father you better hope to God it’s not an alien.
    .
  • 6. Taylor, in my neck of the woods we call that thing over your lip a dirty sanchez moustache. Shave it NOW.
    .
  • 7. If you’re a fan of the Pirates enough to wear a jersey, it’s a bad omen. This will not end well.
    .
  • 8. Did you insist on using the Jacob-tree climbing/jumping stunt just so that we would all subconsciously think of you with your shirt off jumping into Bella’s window? Cause it worked.
    .
  • 9. Lines like “You wanna play with no rules? You better be careful what you let out the box” just confuse me. First, it doesn’t make and sense, second it makes me think of any of Vin Diesil’s lines in any movie he’s ever been in and third it makes me want to embroider it on a pillow.
    .
  • 10. Giving Big Daddy a producer credit in the end credits just earned you like at least 10 McDonalds bucks in your stocking next Christmas. And a HUUUGE hug from me cause that means Big Daddy will be all up in the Abduction premiere!! WHOOHOO!!
    .

So clearly, I’m going to be seeing this movie… at some point. There are so many questions that need to be answered and so many scenes with you possibly shirtless to be seen that I couldn’t deny you me this or the 15 bucks. Just consider it an investment in Big Daddy’s retirement fund.

“I live my life a quarter mile at a time…”
Themoonisdown

Ok, so that line isn’t in Abduction (I think) but who would argue that there will probably be lines very similar… Will you see Taylor’s new movie? Did you think he was doing the Jacob-jumps-in-Bella’s-window move, too?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

61 Commented


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